Dear anyone you feel like writing about
to the person i often refer to by the loving nickname of ‘fuck you’
first and probably most obviously, fuck you.
you might be surprised and even delighted to know i think of you from time to time. you enter conversation, i think about what id say if i saw you again, i even think about how youve changed my life. but i assure you, none of these things are good. ive come to realise the permanent scars youve left on me, the habits, conversations and whole relationships you screw up even now.
but from what i know, youve been driven away from things you love as much as you tried to drive me and mine away from things we love. i dont usually take so much joy from the pain of others but god, is it such sweet karma. i think sometimes how i hope i can keep tabs on you in years to come, because i want to know how quickly and how far your downward spiral goes.
some day, ill see you in a shop or on the street or wherever, and i hope that even if we dont talk, i radiate success and happiness in a way you cant touch. i hope you realise that you can never take down what ive built up now, and maybe ive built it up because of you. maybe in trying to break me down and trying to own me the way you did, youve made me fly higher and be more independent than you ever couldve imagined. and i hope that hurts you.
and because i feel like tacking these on the end, a quick note to some other people. to the person with one foot perpetually in the ‘fuck you’ camp, ive worked hard to seperate myself from you and i hope its worked. i dream about you sometimes still, sometimes mourn what was lost. but whether we were too young or you were too arrogant, you never understood me, and you tried to stop me growing into who i am now. i hope you find happiness far away from me.
and to that one who is slowly shuffling their way towards this group, this is your one warning. respect and love and kindness, not manipulation and ulterior motives, will get you where you want to be. choose the wrong path and not only will your plan not work out, but youll lose me too. we both know how high those stakes are.
