that adhd feel when your loved ones keep asking you to try harder to not be impulsive, but you can't even explain how much better you've gotten, how hard you try to not say everything on your mind, how hard you try to not explode when people hurt your feelings unintentionally, but god forbid you slip up once and then "we never see you make an effort." of course they don't see your effort- the impulses you try so so so hard to not act on stay inside your head. by nature successfully fighting an impulse is invisible, because trying and succeeding means you kept that shit to yourself and they were none the wiser. you're fighting a war against yourself in your head, but to them, it's just acting "normal." the standard for "visible effort" is acting neurotypical 100 percent of the time perfectly.
