There had been a silent understanding between them beneath the palace of Ul'dah: Roguish banter and theatrics aside, it was a wish from one older sibling to another: Look after her.
And damn it all, she had tried. When Minfilia drew back and bid she and A'kihiko go on without her, Meiko had been about to pick the blonde up and throw her over her shoulder herself. But then the ceiling came down between them both. Perhaps that, too, was Hydaelyn's doing.
Regardless, Meiko had failed. When they finally reunited with Thancred in Dravania, she couldn't bear to look at him as her brother explained what had unfolded moments after they had ran on ahead. And he, in his grief, had become understandably single-minded in completing the task she would have assigned him if she were still here. There were few opportunities for them to properly speak, and even then, she was too much of a coward to approach him.
What else could she do but apologize? What else could he do but dismiss it? Kindly or no, there was naught that could be done. Instead, she resolved to do whatever she could to ensure they found Minfilia again.
And then they did. And then, once again, she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes as A'khiko shared what had occurred within the Antitower. Fuck, it would have been so much easier if Thancred had taken out his anger on her. Shouted, cursed, even hit her! She would have accepted any of it. Instead, all she could do was watch him come and go.
It reminded her of when he had been possessed by Lahabrea. She hadn't noticed his shift in demeanor back then, and cursed herself for being so poor an ally as well. Now she couldn't help but observe how he had changed. Even his occasional quip could not help but ring hollow; it felt more like a reflex of undercover work than true humor.
After all, if she had lost A'kihiko, would she not feel the same? Had she not joined the Scions solely to prevent such a horrific outcome?
"Learn to live with it. I have."
Emmanellain's outburst had been followed by justifiable retaliation, but despite his having the clear upperhand, Meiko was suddenly very concerned by Thancred's choice of words. Panic swelled up in her as she glanced down at her brother, who was tending to Honoroit. Emanellain lay groaning by his feet. Thancred was already disappearing from view.
"Hiko," she sputtered out suddenly. "I-- can you handle them? I just -- I want to check on Thancred."
"Aye, I've got it." Her wee brother was hoisting the page to his feet and nudging at Emmanellain with the toe of his boot. "I'm sure he'll appreciate it. As for you, Emmanellain -- groaning won't make the ache go away. Get up. He didn't break your legs."
Meiko wasn't that sure how much her concern would be appreciated, but she took her leave regardless. It was foolish, she knew, feeling scared for him in this moment. Thancred wasn't in any present danger. But he wasn't well on the inside and that made her worry.
If he told her to fuck off, she would. But her concern for him was overriding her shame and anxiety right now and she couldn't allow the opportunity to pass her by.
"Thancred," she caught up to him, more breathless than she likely should have been. He stopped and turned to her, expression neutral if not posing a silent question. As she straightened and looked him in the face, her courage immediately waned. This was stupid. She was stupid. Why would he want to hear any word of comfort or concern from her? They weren't as close as she deluded herself to believe.
"I--" Words fumbled out of her all at once, so flustered by her guilt that she barely took a breath between them. "I just wanted to -- I mean, t'make sure that -- well, what you said back there, I..." She was just wasting his time. She was just being annoying. Lamely, she lowered her gaze and forced out, "...I wanted t'make sure you were okay."
