#tgcchad

Dark Winds Trailer

Dark Winds is set in the 1970′s Southwest. Joe Leaphorn and his new deputy Jim Chee are two Navajo police officers who are investigating a double murder when they find their own spiritual beliefs being challenged.

Dark Winds stars Zahn McClarnon, Kiowa Gordon, Jessica Matten, and Noah Emmerich. The series is based on Tony Hillerman’s Leaphorn and Chee novels.

I hate that I like this!

The music is processed, the song choices are oftentimes laughable, the rap parts of the movie sound like they were written by someone who once heard about Hamilton from someone who only saw previews, the world of the movie is so stereotypical that it threatens to overtake satire and return to sincerity, and the subtext of the movie is so heavy handed that it may as well be holding a club...and I really liked it.

It’s the story of Cinderella, with a twist.

The story beats are essentially the same. A put-upon step-daughter desires to escape her basement life. She does not wish for marriage, however, but through financial independence. She designs and makes dresses, but this dream is frustrated by the patriarchal society in which she lives that prevents her from owning or operating a business.

At the same time, the prince is having difficulty finding someone that he connects with in order to get married, which makes the King irate as it’s messing with his legacy. One day, Ella catches the eye of the prince and he agrees to the concept of a ball providing that every eligible maiden in the kingdom is invited.

Ella wants to go to the ball, not for courtship purposes, but to network with nobility and perhaps find a patron that will finance or buy her dresses. On the day of the ball, however, her stepmother stains the new dress with ink and reveals that Ella has been promised to Thomas, a creepy AF tutor.

The Fabulous Godmother appears, takes one of Ella’s designs and dresses her in it and sends her to the ball. Two things happen, Ella meets a queen who is taken by her dress and wants to see more, and Ella seems to fall in love with the prince. Given the opportunity to marry him and join the nobility, Ella says “no” as it would mean giving up on her dreams.

Then some other stuff happens and the prince realizes that maybe he doesn’t need to be king, and they end up courting, though whether they are engaged or not is left unanswered.

So what sells this movie? I meant what I said above about my criticisms. They stand on their own; but the actors sell the hell out of this story. If even one actor didn’t buy in, the whole thing would have collapsed under the weight of its own messaging. Because everyone bought in, because everyone plays their part so well, the jokes are funnier, the pathos is more affective, and the predictable story beats are rendered comforting rather than irritating.

Look, it’s the story of Cinderella, we’re not expecting great changes to the story. Would I have liked more original music? Yes, I would. However, despite using songs by Queen, Madonna, and a mash-up of The White Stripes “7 Nation Army” with En Vogue’s “Whattaman,” the whole movie comes across as charming, upbeat, and optimistic. There are flaws to be sure, but every one of them can be overlooked by movie’s end, and despite every trailer park roundup commenting on it, I recommend this movie.

Geek Cave Chat: The best TV Theme Songs

We've had some extra time on our hands with all of the social distancing, so we're launching a new podcast! Now you'll get some fresh audio content every week!

For this first "Geek Cave Chat," the guys answer a listener question about what they think is the best theme song of all time, including live-action, animation, and anime.

A Fitting Epilogue

Spider-Man: Far From Home may be the best Spider-Man movie that has yet been made. From Tom Holland as Peter/Spider-Man, to the locations, to the story, to Jake Gyllenhaal as Mysterio and beyond, everything seems to click just perfectly to make an excellent movie. Though spoilers will be avoided throughout the review, I believe this movie to be a well-constructed, well-acted, and worthy use of your time as either a Spider-Man fan, or a Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) fan.

          Big Mouth is one of those shows that one must experience to really understand. A kid’s-eye-view of puberty with the language and raw emotion may prove to be too much for many. That said, if you’ve got kids getting into that age, do yourself a favor and remember how awkward everything was and the terror of not fully understanding what is going on. Season 1 of Big Mouth was a blunt treatment of these awkward years that focused on those things that we now laugh about. Inappropriately timed erections and family encounters were the stock and trade of the first season. Whereas the first season dives into the physical areas of puberty, the second season takes us on a journey of emotion...and it’s hard to watch sometimes.

Dear Mr. Shaw,

I surrender.

After playing through as many levels as I possibly could through your game, “The Long Gate,” I have come to the conclusion that it has beaten me. This has little to do with your game and much to do with me and the way that I think.

Let me explain…

When I was dropped into the game (on Switch) and had only the controls to keep me company, I walked forward until finding this beautiful clearing, a gigantic door, and some kind of tool that would presumably help me moving forward. From this point, the game was on. Fumbling about, I ended up in another chamber, pushed a button, something happened, and then I fell into a pit.

Game over?

Not hardly.

Instead, I was given a puzzle. This puzzle was based on logic circuits. I thought to myself, “Great, I love this kind of stuff!”

The first few were great fun, I felt intelligent, accomplished even. Then it all came crashing down. It only took a few levels before I had to have more than a passing understanding of binary, and from that point, I was a chipmunk at a keyboard. Any progress made from that point was caused by luck rather than either skill or knowledge, and the game was over for me.

This game is amazingly put together. There is no motivation to play (no princess to save, no world ending cataclysm to avert) except for the puzzles themselves. Broken into three different styles (digital, analog, and quantum) the puzzles (at least the ones that I encountered) are well designed so that one can see the logic behind them. The visuals for the Switch port are a little fuzzy, giving the impression of a previous gen game. This is most obvious when one needs to read what a component is. The controls…could use some work. While playing, it was quite obvious that this was a game designed with a keyboard and mouse in mind.

A puzzler to the core, this game delights in being challenging, but not mean. It seems to assume a working knowledge of computer science, engineering, and binary. It doesn’t explain much of anything to you, and the easiest difficulty, the one that gives me hints, didn’t go quite far enough. At different times, I solved a bit of puzzle and had no earthly clue how it happened. If this happens to you, take my advice and walk the whole puzzle again until you do understand, because it is going to come up again. Each level is a tutorial for the next, or it’s an opportunity to vie for promotion. For me, I reached my level of incompetence at about the 4th level of each of the digital and analog areas. Given some time and space, I could probably figure some of them out, but my level of frustration outstripped my level of engagement.

If I could make one change to the game, it would be to have a balcony somewhere on each level so that one could get an overall view of the board. Trying to wire a circuit board in first person was terribly frustrating.

Is the game good? It’s hard for me to say. The controls at times have some hiccups, and the graphics are fuzzy. This is distracting but not breaking. The puzzles are challenging and build on one another, and are inventive enough to require a development of one’s logical processes. The expectation that a player will already know how these different circuits are supposed to work at the beginning of the game mean that the learning curve is steep from the very beginning. 

If you are mathematically and engineering minded, this game is likely a welcome puzzler. If not…well…it’s probably best to skip it.

I give it a solid B for challenging (and fair) puzzles that I am unprepared to logic through. 

I surrender.

King of Seas is an action role playing game set in a decidedly piratey world. The game involves you, the daughter (or son) of the king being taken in by pirates after being framed for killing your father. “Tis a standard set-up for a game and all the more that you need. What follows is a series of missions in order to get you some allies, solve the mystery and win the game.

The world is split into three factions, those being the pirates, the merchants and the navy. In this game, pirates are friendly, merchants are neutral, and the navy is hostile. Navigating around these three factions and between the many (many) islands took a good portion of my time in the game. As with my previously written reviews, I’ll line out what worked for me, what didn’t, and what improvements I would make if I could.

What worked for me?

Graphically, the game is relatively simple. Think a zoomed out version of The Legend of Zelda: the Wind Waker. This plays to its strengths. You can also zoom in on the ship if you like, and see all the different details that have been put in. The character models may have you wondering how tight a corset can get (and how necessary they are on a pirate ship) but they wonderfully convey the kind of over-the-top world of the game.

The controls are simple but work flawlessly. Of the many, many…many ship battles that I lost, none of them could be attributed to the controls. You eventually gain access to 5 different ships with cannons and a huge number of special abilities that you can use to launch fireballs or summon a tornado. The customization is another strength of the game.

The side activities, trading and the like are pretty well thought out. Each port city has a marketplace, and each marketplace has products that can be bought for trade. Gold is the currency of the realm and you can make more by buying and selling across the world for a profit. This is how I bought my second ship. In the taverns of the various port cities you can pick up other side missions which usually involves finding a cartographer. This serves the dual purpose of making you some Gold and also revealing the map.

What didn’t?

The procedurally generated world isn’t bad, but it’s only procedurally generated in the sense that islands are not in the same place across different play-throughs. The map, though effective enough, is boring to look at. In its attempt to look like an old map of the long ago, it foregoes the blues of the sea in order to paint the water brown. The islands themselves are color coded to represent the different factions, but even they are muted greens and blues.

Bringing up Wind Waker again, do you remember the fish that filled out your map? He is now played by a cartographer that somehow winds up all over the map. For a price ranging from 500 gold to over 2000 gold, he will fill in your map for you. Unfortunately, that is all he does, and it is the only way to discover what is in the world. There is no provision for discovering or uncovering any part of the map for yourself.

Death sends you back to the starting base. This doesn’t seem so bad, though that depends a great deal on where the procedural generation puts your base. Mine was in the bottom left of the map. So if I died, I respawned in a place that was often as far away as I could get from anything. Once you start taking over ports (about ¾ of the way through the game) then you get to respond at your nearest port, but by then I was dying far less.

Going back to the side mission stuff again, this serves as a dual good and bad. The missions are nice for the first few hours, and then they get rather repetitive. Once I had unlocked the entirety of the map, it was a lot less fun to find the cartographer again so that Cubby could apply to be an apprentice…again.

The controls are still great, but the ships you use are just a little too realistic in their handling (I know, weird critique). What I mean though is that it takes a really long time to build speed, slow down and turn. Enemies on the other hand, seem to have a rudder up on the handling of their ships. It was frustrating to be sunk again and again by a ship that should have had a harder time than I did in coming around.

What would I change?

More than anything else, if I could change one thing, it would be to add a mini-map. It breaks the games immersion if you have to pause the game every few minutes to find the island you’re looking for. I would even settle for a mark on the compass that indicated direction.

I would add fast travel. Even if it was simply back to base. With the wind, it still took about 10 minutes to sail home. This was with nothing in the way, no battles to fight or trading to do. Straight up sailing the map took 10 minutes. Against the wind it takes a good deal longer and the worlds is neither pretty enough nor interesting enough to warrant that kind of time.

Finally, I would include a manual with the download. It was incredibly frustrating as I was trying to outfit my ship to determine what the different aspects of the cannons were, or whether something was good or not. I could have better damage and longer range, but it would still be a red negative compared to what I had. Why? Because the rate of fire for what I was using was better. Thank you reddit for helping me learn how to play better.

Final impressions

This isn’t a bad game. There are the bones of a really enjoyable experience in there. Unfortunately, it is held back by a story that lacks any urgency and side missions that fall to repetition. If you enjoy being able to play a game that is relatively quiet, offers you a sandbox to find your own fun in, and boasting some well done (if mildly repetitive) piratey music, then Sea of Kings is probably up your alley. If you need a bit more direction in how to decipher things like health bars (there are three) or get frustrated by combat that seems somehow both slow and frantic at the same time, then it’s probably worth it to pick up the demo first.

You Want Me to Watch WHAT? | Flash Gordon

There's no better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than watching a 1980s space opera, right?