#tfaws

Bucky was even worse. It was like shopping for your dad- nothing he would love. Maybe cologne, or a watch–but those are big gifts right? After hours of debating, and browsing stores you crashed on a bench with an Auntie Anne's pretzel. Watching people run around in panic at the mall, then it finally hit you. Get Becca a homemade art kit! Soon enough you collected a basket from the craft store, and put tubes of paint, brushes, glitter, even some markers. Then Bucky’s gift–saddly it took a turn for the worse. You picked out a cologne that smelled nice, warm, spicy. It was a little pricey, but worth it. Then you picked out a pair of slippers, they looked like a white cat with ears. You knew he probably wouldn’t wear them, but you couldn’t pass it up. 

Every week leading up to Christmas the weather was getting worse, but not bad. The flirting between you, and Bucky had been getting worse. First you started getting to work early so you could share coffee then they ate lunch together. Even when you were decorating the office for Christmas, Bucky was right behind you while you were on a stool putting up snowflakes. 

“I’m just here to catch you if you fall” He said letting his hands ghost over the back of your knees

“Or looking up my skirt” you giggle looking down at him from the chair. “Maybe I am, but…is that really my fault?” he teased 

The night of the Christmas party, the day before they closed, and it was kind of big at the office. Steve's wife, Peggy was there. She was nice, shockingly British. Sam’s girlfriend, and a few other stores next door came over. Becca fell asleep upstairs hours ago while the adults were drinking, and picking at food. Bucky hung around Steve, or the wall. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, the way he had his stubble grown out for the winter, or how the extra layers made him even bulkier. After a few drinks, mainly for courage to not embarrass yourself in front of him. You were a little stumbly, and as things died down you tried to help Bucky clean up. Picking up crockpots and putting them in the sink before stumbling to the trash.

“How do you plan on getting home?” Bucky asked coming back into the breakroom

“Mmm walk– or drive if I can find my keys…” you mumbled out patting your pockets 

“You’re not getting those, it's getting bad out.” bucky said jiggling your keys before sliding them into his pocket. “Come on, you can stay upstairs tonight.”

“Mmm, are you flirting?” you giggled reaching for your keys “no, and no keys. Come on you can sleep in the bed” 

He led you up the stairs in the back to the apartment part of the store before leaving you on the couch. It was darkish, the snow from outside lit the house up enough to see. Then you saw the tree that was clearly decorated a lot by Becca. It melted your heart into a puddle as the alcohol hit hard enough you felt tired. You shimmied your shoes off before curling up on the couch into a ball, and falling asleep.

The next morning you woke with a pillow under your head, and a large blanket draped over you. “Goodmorning” bucky grumble laying coffee next to your head. “Thank you”

“Are you making bacon?” she mumbled walking into his kitchen wrapped in the blanket 

“Yeah, Becca would bite my head off if she didn’t have it” he said smiling at the thought

“So I guess I was a little drunk. Thanks for taking care of me.” you hummed stealing a piece of bacon

“Yeah, yeah, well I don’t think you’ll be able to make it home after dinner” he said glancing at the window “we’ve got about 12inch, and they aren’t going to be able to work the roads for hours.” 

“Shit, really?” you asked before getting ready to look out the window. He wasn’t lying, the snow was piling high, and it was still pouring down. “Well, are you sure me crashing here is okay?”

“Yes, honestly Becca will be happy, she’ll be up soon.” he hummed piling bacon on a plate and soon enough a sleepy Becca stumbled in purple truck pjs, and all. 

“You had a sleepover, and didn’t tell me?!” Becca said almost jaw dropped seeing you standing with her dad.

“Well– uh” she mumbled “It was so snowy, and your dad offered–”

“I wish you told me! We could have baked cookies!” becca said eating the bacon bucky set out

Throughout the day you helped bucky prepare Christmas eve dinner, and watched movies with Becca. Bucky was seasoning the ham, when you managed to sneak back in the  kitchen with him. “So how do you guys do Christmas?” You asked 

“Uh we open all the gifts tomorrow morning, and we bake cookies for Santa of course.” he said putting the ham into the oven.

After the amazing dinner, and watching home alone on the couch with becca snuggled between you, and Bucky. Even alpine curled up at your feet acting as a nice heater. As the movie ended Becca got up to set the cookies out before watching you make your spot on the couch up for bed.

“What are you doing?” becca asked in almost horror watching you lay down

“Um, going to bed…”

“No, you have to go to bed! Santa can’t come if someone's in the living room" Becca said “dad, she- she can’t sleep here” 

Bucky glanced between you, and becca “it’s okay she can sleep in my room, right?” he asked 

“Uh, I mean yeah” you said shimming up to follow bucky

Becca exhaled a sigh of pure relief before walking back to bed. Soon in Bucky's bedroom he shut the door and glanced at you weirdly. “Do you want to shower? I mean you’ve been here a while- I can lend you clothes” he said

His shower lacked most things, just a 3-in-1 bath soap. He gave you a pair of his sweat pants, and t-shirt. You came out like a soaked rat to him sitting in bed twiddling his thumbs, more nervous than you have ever seen him.

“So, um can I just get in with you?” you ask nervously glancing at the open spot

“Yeah, you look….” he started staring you up an down 

“Like a drowned rat?”

“Like a cute rat” 

“Really?” you say laying your head back on his pillows 

“Really” he said laying back next to you

You can listen to his breathing in the dark quiet room, and everything felt—right. You closed your eyes leaning closer to him before he wrapped his arms around you. 

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She was unfortunately right, stupid logical. But you couldn’t get it out of your head. Not leaving once the shop closed, but going upstairs to there apartment with him, the cat, and Becca. How nice it would be to bring them to your mom’s house on Christmas. Let Bucky meet you brother- or well his grave. You also ended up talking to him for a while, sitting alone in a graveyard telling him all about what’s happened in more detail than you did your mom.

“Oh and he’s really hot. He’s got a little gray in his bread, and I don’t know if he works out or if it’s just from his work but he is built. I bet he could pick me up, and his daughter. Oh, and she is so sweet, you would’ve loved teaching her swears, and giving her toys that would make a mess. Ya know all the uncle stuff” you say leaning on his headstone

“Don’t worry I’ll make him come meet you before we start dating” you said standing up and wiping your legs off grass “bye, I’ll see you in a few months” you said readjusting his flowers before walking back to the car

You said goodbye to your mom the next day, before driving back, but you did make a small stop at the closed shop before going home. Becca squealed running to hug you “your back! I missed you!” She said 

“Aw thanks, I missed you too” you say picking her up, and walking into the garage where only Bucky was working “your back early.” He said wiping his hands off after pulling them out of an engine 

“Yeah, well I guess I was excited for work” you shrug watching how he moved to stand infront of her “uh, me and Becca were gonna go get lunch at the dinner across town, if you wanted to join” he said

“Oh I don’t wanna intrude daddy daughter time” you say putting Becca down “please, it’s always just me and dad. We haven’t seen in you in sooo long” Becca said 

“I guess I can, and I was gone two days Becca” you said, poking her shoulder as she dragged you to Bucky’s truck. It was older, but in very good condition. Red on the hood and sides with a sliver base. It looks polished and clean, with what looks like new leather on the inside. It was only one row, but it was cozy. Becca made herself comfortable in the middle as you climbed in next to her, and Bucky sat in the driver's seat.

“Wow, you take amazing care of this car. I feel like I’m in the 70s” you said double checking Becca’s seat belt 

“It’s my dad’s old car, he bought it in 1973, I fixed it up when I’m bored.” He shrugged, pulling out of the shop's parking lot with practiced ease. It was a quiet, but peaceful Becca sang along to the radio quietly looking at the window, but your eyes kept catching on Bucky driving. Calmly, it felt safe, like you could fall asleep and rely on him. 

The dinner was small, with a charming atmosphere. You walk in together, sitting in a booth in the corner. Becca calmed the seat across from you, and Bucky sat on her left. As you look over the menu, Becca barely looks at it, same with Bucky. It’s enough to make you hurry and pick something. Cheeseburger, fries, and a coke- Diet Coke. Becca got the same, but a large chocolate milk shake. Bucky the same, minus a milkshake.

“I guess you two come here a lot?” You ask watching Becca play with a packet of sugar 

“Yep! Every Sunday dad takes me, but I think he should take you too because he likes you“ Becca said not realizing how red her dad’s face got 

“You a good friend, plus I think Becca needs another girl in her corner” he said quickly in an attempt to defend himself

“Thanks? I’m glad, Becca is a very good kid.” You say blowing the paper on your straw at Becca 

“Hey! That’s not nice” she said “how did you do that”

“I’m sorry, but it was funny” you say putting your straw into your own cup “here just take the paper off at the top, and blow” you say moving your eyes at Bucky trying to get her to aim for him, and she does. Giggling as she hits his face “really, Corrupting my sweet little girl?” He said in a teasing tone before blowing the paper of his straw right between your eyes 

“Nice shot, I don’t think I’ve ever been hit there” you say leaning across the table 

“Well, I’ve got my own secrets” he shrugged “oh, dad can she go to the movie with us too?” Becca asked staring back at you 

“I mean, I don’t have anything else to do tonight. I wouldn’t mind if it’s okay with your dad” you shrugged 

“Yes, I can’t wait now!” She said 

After you ate you reached for your purse to pay your part before Bucky shoved his card down  “it’s fine, you do a lot for me.” He shrugged 

“It’s okay, I can by 20 dollars for my own food” you said watching the waitress walking away 

“Yeah, it’s my treat” he said before the woman handed his card back “you two have the most beautiful girl. She looks just like you two” she said handing Bucky his card and recite back 

“Thank you” he said taking Becca’s hand as the three of you walked back out to his trunk

Oh my god, why didn’t he say anything. Becca wasn’t you kid? She was his and another woman’s. A woman you still don’t know, but— maybe it was just so he didn’t have to explain. Yeah, that's more realistic, you were just friends. Becca probably just wants a mom.

Bucky drove back to the shop while Becca kicked her feet back and forth. Becca said your name taking you out of your trance “can’t you just stay with us until we leave for the movie, I can show you my room, and dad’s really old photo” she asked 

“Becca, she might want to go home. I can just pick you up if you want” Bucky said glancing over at you before back to the road 

“I don’t mind staying, unless you want me out of your hair for a while” you say 

He nodded slowly, almost unsure, but Becca was very happy with your choice. She kept talking about how much she wanted to show you her room.

Once you got to their apartment above the shop Becca dragged you inside showing you her room first. It was purple head to toe with a little camo bear on her dresser.

 “This is dads home uniform” she said handing you the bear “I got it when I was really really little. I don’t even remember him not being here” she said 

You turn the bear in your hands. “This is very sweet, I’m sure he missed you,” you say, glancing at Bucky in the door. He seemed mixed about the toy in your hands, also grieving or angered at it. You set the bear down in its shelf before she showed the rest of her room off “I should probably go wash the grease off myself” he said stepping back into what you assumed was his bedroom “oh- yeah, I’ll just hang with her” you said point to Rebecca who was setting up a tea party 

He walked off shutting the door as you at the very tiny table that caused your knees  to be pushed up to your chest. You drank pretend tea as Rebecca poured it for you.

“My dad does talk about you all the time. I don’t know why he doesn’t just say it” she said 

“Maybe your just misunderstanding him” you said putting you teacup down

“I don’t want to, I wish you were my mom. Everyone else at school has moms” she said looking down at the table “I’m the only kid with just a dad, and my mom doesn’t come to see my anymore” 

“I’m sorry to hear that Becca. If you were my little girl I’d come see you all the time” you say reaching to hold her hand giving it a squeeze “but you do, so doesn’t that mean you could be my mom? You help me with my homework, you play with me, you help me when dad’s busy, isn’t that what moms do?” she said 

“I- I don’t think you dad wants that” you say pushing her hair back as she frowned 

“I wish your were my mom then” she said laying her head on your shoulder 

You just nodded pulling her to sit on your lap as you braid her hair not knowing what to do without over stepping so invisible line you’ve set.

Bucky eventually comes back in non-work clothes. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen him like it. He had white shirt on, covered with a flannel, jeans, and he trimmed his bread slightly. “Are my girls ready?” He asked as you finished her last braid

His girls, did he just call you his? No, your imagination things, there is no chance he said that to you. Becca nodded, jumping up to go back to the car. At the movies Bucky paid for your ticket and you got his popcorn. Becca shoved you two together and sat next to her dad. While a kids movie played about some green ogre. Bucky rested his arm over your seat, but didn’t quite touch your shoulders. Becca was asleep by the time the credits rolled, it was sweet watching him carry Becca out to the car. You sat next to her watching him drive.

“Thank you for this. Best date” you say jokingly of course

“Ah great, I took the best woman on a date with my five year old” he said sarcastically but he did mean it even if you couldn’t pick up on it “do you mind if I ask about what happened between you and Becca’s mom?” You asked quietly glancing at him 

“A lot, it was mainly my fault. I had a rough time after the army, and I was having nightmares. I just started staying up all night, or sleeping on the couch so I didn’t want her or Becca to wake up. We started fighting a lot more too. It wasn’t great, and then I found out she was cheating on me, a lot. I only found out when Becca was born. My mom made the bear for her, and Becca thinks it was made when she was 2 or something. I don’t really know why, Sharon probably told her. She used to come visit her once a summer, but she stopped last year” he said, gripping the wheel tighter. “She left when Becca was 6 months old. I started therapy, and I just wanted to be better for her.” He said 

“I’m so sorry, I really am” you say, reaching your hand onto his shoulder. “At least you have Becca, and you can come to me” you said as he pulled up to your apartment building. He got out to walk you in leaving Becca asleep across the seats. 

“This is me” you said point to your door “thank you, I really did have fun today” you say again unlocking the door before turning around to him 

“I’m glad, you're great with her,” he whispered, brushing hair behind your ear. 

You didn’t know what to do, but your heart wanted to race and yearned to pull him in, luckily you didn’t have to, he did. His lips hit your softly, slowly as if savoring the moment. “Bucky-“ you breathe back as he pulled away resting his forehead on yours “sorry, I’ve been wanting to do that all day” he whispered 

“Don’t be, I liked it. I like you” you say softly resting your hand on his shoulder 

“Next date, I won’t bring a five-year-old.” He said smiling at you

“Mm, I don’t know if you can top this one” you say kissing him again this time more heated 

“Oh, I promise I can top it” he grinned against your lips “I’ll see you tomorrow, I gotta get back before Becca thinks i abandoned her” he said 

You watched him walk off before going inside and screaming into your pillow like a teenage girl. No, did that actually just happen? Yes, yes it did. The man you worked for, the most grumbling, aloof man kissed you? You barely slept that night so excited to go to work and see him.

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