Jul 10
I do be yearning tho
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I do be yearning tho
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The highs in da 90Β°F continue and so I move my makeup bag from gym bag to empty lunchbox with ice pack so my shit don't melt when I do stuff after work.
I want to be a lean, mean, no back or tummy pain machine so I've changed my schedule so I can go to the school gym (with the fucking stupid hours) and this week I've been trying to up my protein and fiber intake while also on my endless journey to fix my sleep schedule. I took 2 walk today :3 sweated a lot and drank water and it's only the beginning baybeeee I've always wanted to fix my bdd by getting shredded
I don't really cook anymore, I mostly have been making "peasant snack plate" for a lot of meals so I need to practice as much as I can and git good. I already made a dinner I didn't like but it was so protein rich I still met my goal with only eating like half.
I just have to practice making food, practice going to bed (limiting hella gaming at night), and also go to the gym to make my little muscles scream so I can eventually fight God. Death metal exercise playlist ftw.
The other night when I was leaving the house (to see the backrooms), I saw a woman walking down the street and she had cute workout clothes and I need to go out and walk around more so I can maybe meet her and we can go on walks together :>
I've had a reoccurring element of my dreams where I consume warm ice, and it really disturbs me. Warm ice is exactly what it sounds like, I suppose my dream can't imagine eating ice cold ice so it becomes lukewarm or warm but still melts. It's turns my stomach, and I feel nauseated even thinking about it. But the warm ice was in my dream again last night, and dream me recognized the phenomenon as a dream phenomenon. It wasn't enough for complete recognition. Warm ice that makes me sick could possibly be how I achieve dream lucidity.
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How many days in a row of stomach ache are too many
I'm graduating next week ππ·β¨οΈ
Big feelings abound as I am anticipating some family coming in and have recently realized I'm more neurodivergent than I thought after talking with my therapist. It feels heavy. But the weekend will be fast and over before I know it, so I will try to appreciate the time we have.
After that, my partner and I would like to take our shiny new degrees and find work abroad! That will absolutely be scary and overwhelming! But we persist. I will do it scared of rejection. My plan B is fine, something I'll be happy to do. I am still planning on applying to grad school abroad, so I will be persistent.
Doing all the things the early 20s do at 30, nbd...
Politicians who don't believe in climate crisis will be sacrificed to the sun God just in case - my onion headline