#tenderache

meme.   @tenderache.   accepting.

❝    I CAN’T,  DAD.   ❞     you can’t even say that you wish you could,   because you don’t.   you have to be awake,   but you can’t tell him why,   not without terrifying him,   not without reminding him of the time he lost his son to a demonic fox.     you’ve been having nightmares again,   ones that make you relive the moments where you were hurting everyone around you,   killing those around you.   you can’t sleep,   because he might still be in your head,   he might still have enough power to take control of you again and you’re not sure if you could stop him.   you couldn’t last time,   and you’ve only gotten weaker since then,  you’ve only gotten more exhausted.     you don’t think you’d be able to even put up a fight if he tried to take over again. 

❝    DUDE,   can you  ———    ❞     you’re snuggling into his pillow,   your body tucked beneath only a sheet,  a hand reaching outward to make grabby hands toward him.    you don’t open your eyes,   not when you’ve only just gotten comfortable.   you’re not sure you’re actually going to get any sleep,   you haven’t actually slept in a couple days but there’s no harm in trying,   and worst comes to worst,   it’s time spent   (   hopefully   )   within his arms,   despite the fact you usually like being the one wrapped around someone.   tired words are mumbled,   hopefully loud enough to be clear to his ears.    ❝    big spoon.   please?   ❞ 

YOU’D RATHER COMMIT MURDER HERE.      her very existence enrages you,     fills your mouth with the taste of acid,    stains your vision red.    all because of her past with dakota.    your dakota.     otherwise,     you’d be indifferent.    you wouldn’t even notice her,    much less think about her.     instead,     she crosses your mind from time to time.     sometimes,    it hurts:     imagining dakota leaving you for her.     for anyone,     but now your imagination has a face to put in your nightmares,    as irrational as it may be.     you don’t know anything about their previous relationship;     you don’t know how or why it ended.     all you know is that it happened,     and a part of you fears that if dakota could have been into her once before,     it could happen again.      (     a fear that’s fueled not by mistrust,    but self - hatred.      you know you don’t deserve her,    that you don’t deserve anyone,     so it’s so easy to picture her leaving.     )

harley should be dead.     you don’t know why dakota left her alive,    why she insists on leaving her alive now.     she’d let you kill her,    you’re pretty sure,     but that’s not the point.    the point is that she hasn’t.     that she keeps saying she will,     only to put it off.

it would be so easy to reach for your gun,    to put a bullet right between her eyes and end the voices in your head.      (     end the specifics,     at least;      you’ll still be afraid of being left for someone else,     even if you have nobody to be jealous of.      )      or you could just stab her,     gut her right here.     of course,    strangulation,    while boring,     would be less messy;     you’d only have to worry about the body,    not the blood.

meme.    @tenderache​.   accepting.

text to:  allison argent.     i miss you, allison. i know we’re broken up, but i can’t sleep, i can’t stop thinking about you. it’s like my hearts with you. i wish it was different, i wish i was human.MESSAGE DELETED AT 8:20AM.

text to:  allison argent.    i miss usMESSAGE DELETED AT 5:20AM.

text to:  allison argent.   i wish i knew how to look at you like i’m not still in love with you. isaac seems really happy. i hope you guys are happy together. he really likes you. i really hope i don’t hold you back from being happy.MESSAGE DELETED AT 4:54PM.

text to:  allison argent.   am i allowed to ask you to come over? i don’t know what we are, but i need someone. i need you. i don’t need us to be us. i just need you. i shifted while talking to my dad, i almost hurt him. i don’t know what to do without you with me.MESSAGE DELETED AT 9:11PM.

text to:  allison argent.    i’m glad you’re alive. i’m sorry i was the reason you almost weren’tMESSAGE DELETED AT 12:49PM.

       shopping  back  draped  over  arm  ,      a    spare  glance  at  the  other  out  of  the  corner  of  your  eye .             ❝      b  ,       you’re  BETTER  than  some  guy  who  ,       while  may  be  a  prince   ,       is  also  kind  of  a  jerk .        -  -   -           do  you  REALLY  want  this   ?          ❞

             ❝     hmm  ,           i  think  that  you  should     go  for  the  pink      &      get  rid  of  the  yellow .         ❞                tip  of  thumb  is  dampened  ,      using  it  to  flick  to  next  page  of  magazine  ,       hazel  orbs  only  just  glancing  over - top  pages .           ❝    PROBLEM  SOLVED   ,           now  can  we  leave   ?        ❞

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