#teapirate

eyyy look what i got from @teapirate!! they’re all so beautiful i love them this literally made my day thank you so much!!!

And I am ALWAYS DOWN TO LISTEN

Ahsoka Gets Sick

The one where Ahsoka gets really sick on a mission, like fever induced flu like symptoms sick. Anakin doesn’t handle it well.

“I’m sorry, Ahsoka, I’m sorry. I think-I think you should have a little before we move.”

“No, I can’t,” she was miserable sounding, “no. No. I can’t. Can’t. No thanks.”

Anakin blinked hard, doing his best to fight off his tears. He needed to focus damn it! “Ok, I know you feel like you can’t. But you’ve lost a lot of fluids and Kix will kill me if you don’t get some. Do you want Kix to kill me?”

“MMmmmmmMMMMM, sure!”

“Rude,” Anakin huffed a weak laugh and pulled out his canteen. He shook it gently and watched as Ahsoka flopped her head to the side, her half glazed eyes wandering until landing on the small container.

“Is that water?” She asked.

Anakin nodded as he clamped it between his thighs, working to get the lid off.

Ahsoka groaned before asking, “Can I have some?”

“Yeah Snips, you can have some.” Anakin gently held it out, and when he realized she wasn’t going to take it, tipped just enough to get a trickle into her mouth.

She choked, gagged, and immediately turned to retch again. Bile came up and not much else. When finished, she looked down at their clasped hands as if she’d never seen anything like it before. Slowly she looked up at him and then grinned. “I hate this.”

Anakin snorted, wiping his eyes and nose on his sleeve before responding, “Yeah. Me too.”

“Me too,” Ahsoka echoed nodding. “Me too are too, R2? No he’s with the- wait, is that water?”

“Yes, it’s your water.”

Ahsoka looked far too awed by the idea that it was hers. It was somehow both adorable and terrifying. “Wizard. Can I have some? Wait. Did we just do this?”

“I don’t think so.” He lied.

Emperor Sassypants Sends Evil Daughter to School

Based on some AMAZING fanart pieces by teapirate where Obi-Wan is a Senator and also a Sith who takes on Ahsoka as his apprentice (very early on). Some of teapirate’s work can be found HERE

Obi-Wan felt his heart kick painfully as he worked to hide his shock and rage. “I will take great pleasure in killing that little troll.”

Ahsoka snorted. “You have such a way with words Master.”

Her hologram flickered as her ship jumped to hyperspace. The ship leaving from Christophsis. The one with her new Jedi Master in it. “Pin your tongue or I will remove it.”

Her eyes still sparkled with amusement, although he knew it was only masking a deep fear. The only things they could not afford were being discovered by Sidious and being discovered by the Jedi Order. Ahsoka being assigned out to Knight Skywalker was a cruel twist in the Force, and potentially disastrous for their plans. Obi-Wan stroked thoughtfully at his beard as he looked through her focusing his eyes on the hand carved shelving of his office.

All the same, it could work.

“How close is he to falling?” Obi-Wan asked as he tried to formulate a plan.

Ahsoka shook her head, “Not close enough to turn him any time soon. But he attaches easily.”

That caught his attention enough to frown at her. He waved a hand granting her permission to speak.

“I...I like him Master and I think he likes me well enough. Anakin will attach to me and that can be used to lever him if needed.” Her eyes flicked back and forth between his. “Think of me like a fulcrum.”

“There is potential there, but mind your own attachments my sweet. They have always been your biggest failing.”

She didn’t flinch, not from things he said. Not anymore. But the hardening of her eyes and thinning of her lips was telling. Obi-Wan softened his features, after all, his anger with Yoda was not meant for her. “As it is mine.”

This fic is inspired by @teapirate’s Tiniest Chosen One series, and dedicated to @eirenical who has gleefully enabled my descent into the Star Wars fandom. Apparently I skip straight from angst to happy fixit AUs!

The kitten is yowling again, so Obi-Wan puts a pillow over his head because it’s really none of his business. Qui-Gon Jinn is the one who decided to save everyone who crossed his path; let him feed the beast! Eventually he does need to breathe, and he happens to emerge just in time to see the strip of light from the crack of his door widen just enough to let a small feline through. He must not have latched it as securely as he thought, but he gives it his best shot.

In an instant, four tiny feet are kneading his legs, and he stubbornly ignores how soothing he finds the sensation. “Not now Anakin,” he groans. “Please, I’m very tired.”

“But Master Obi-Wan…” trills the cat, and he must forcibly remind himself that it’s not his fault his voice always sounds like whining. All creatures according to their gifts.

“No, Anakin, I’m not a master yet, and you are nobody’s slave.” He sighs and props himself up on an elbow, thinking he might as well look at his conversational partner if this conversation cannot be avoided. “What can I do for you, kid?”

“Obi-Wan, do you ever miss your mother?”

Oh. He snakes his other hand out from the cocoon of his blankets and scritches the boy’s head for a moment before he answers. “The Jedi Temple is my home, and has been for as long as I can remember. I have met my mother several times, and she is very beautiful, but we were as two strangers.”

“Oh. That’s very sad.” The facts of his upbringing have never struck Obi-Wan as particularly sad, or even noteworthy, but the paw that gently rests on his hand is somehow a comfort. “What about the other people you grew up with? Do you ever miss them?”

“I… never really thought about it,” he says truthfully, and then he answers the question that is really being asked. “Say, Anakin, would you like to stay here tonight? It can help to share the warmth of another body.”

“HOLD MY DRINK. I’M REINCARNATING.” omg i’m dying sdfghjsdf;;;; well that’d be a sight (reincarnating as what i wonder, what is the plan, and how will it explode)

It’s Anakin! There is no plan! He’s just going to get himself into a new body and “improvise”. Yoda’s just going to stand there and shake his head in a vaguely resigned fashion until Obi-Wan comes up five minutes later.

Obi-Wan: That Rey is terribly precious and I’m so glad I know her whole backstory now. Ah... Ehm.... Master Yoda?

Yoda: *waving to Reginald’s great grand chick* Hmmm? *chuckles*

Obi-Wan: Where did Anakin go?

Yoda: Oh! Ohohoho! *pokes Obi-Wan’s ghostly side* Reincarnated, he did. Holding his drink I am. Hehehehe! 

Obi-Wan: WHAT?!??? *looks around, reaches out with the Force and then promptly panics in a way he hasn’t since Anakin was an actual teenage padawan* Oh no! Not good! Sweet Force! ANAKIN SKYWALKER! I SWEAR! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU...!!! Here! Hold my tea! I’m going after him. *vanishes*

Luke: *sipping tea with Rey near his Depression Beard Cave of Gloom* Yeah... you’re right. Ben’s not so bad. I guess... I mean if anyone can understand what I’m going through, it would be Ben.

Rey: And he makes a lovely cup of tea. *smiles* You should go talk to him. He seems very upset that you’re not talking.

Luke: *nods determined to patch things up with Ben and then hopefully his father* You’re very wise my... *nods* my young Padawan.

Rey: *o* Really?? You mean it!

Luke: Yes. I will teach you the ways of the Force. But first let me go talk to Ben... *walks over Yoda* Master Yoda? Where is Ben?

Yoda: *possibly higher than a kite smiles up at Luke and chortles* Gone into the Force he has. Followed your father, he has.

Luke: Oh that’s great! That’s JUST GREAT! *gestures wildly, the beginning of a Skywalker Tantrum brewing* I just got a BRAND NEW Padawan and Ben and Dad pick NOW to find their eternal peace within the Force? NOW?! With my nephew running around the galaxy trying to “finish what Darth Vader started”?! What is WRONG with them?? *looks away huffy* They’re not just screwing like tookas in heat some place and you’re running cover for them, are you??

Yoda: Holding their drinks I am. *smiles happily as a porg waddles through his ghostly form* 

oh man i've been chasing dooku for a while, for no other reason than i need my team of salty grandpas (i'll feel slightly bad putting ben to lead sidious, vader n dooku but still) n dooku's counter chance at 4x speed makes him dash around like the energiser bunny, but he RESISTS >8(

for some reason???? even though you open those stages pretty fast????? DOOKU IS REALLY HARD TO GET SHARDS FOR??????? Ever since Likealeaf was telling about the team she was putting him on, I was like “OH!!!” and so I’ve been trying to get him, but it took me this long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve heard other people complaining that Dooku doesn’t seem to counter as hard when he’s your own teammate, but I personally think that’s confirmation bias. He doesn’t counter that hard on other teams - but I also save him (and other counter-spammers) for next to last when wiping teams, so I’m not taking counter damage and hits from the team.

A salty grandpa team sounds amazing though. Are you going for Emperor Palpatine or the Darth Sidious version? (why this scrub gets two incarnations >:\ and no padme???????) I think Darth Sidious would be an excellent salty grandpa, if only because he was dealing with Anakin and not Vader. But i’m really tickled by the Emperors bent posture.

Now I feel like I should put my Kylo on a team with the Emperor, since they both kind of hunch lmaoooo

sailorcrazypinklady replied to your post “I just recently hit lvl 72 on galaxy of heroes which is the next ‘new...”

                   You said 'Salty Grandpa' and I though "Old Ben" first.                

YOU’RE NOT WRONG. I tend to call him Crazy/Cranky hermit personally, but I definitely think that Old Ben qualifies for the Salty Grandpa title =w=

Dooku, salty grandpa who is adamant about not being here dammit. it is w/ MUCH REGRET the emperor is beyond me rn but i have Sidious! w/ Ben n Vader (all those combo debuff +Vader's throwing attack can stack nicely). kind of want Grievous as sort-of salty grandpa? if only bc apparently he counts as a DROID??? the game is throwing such shade (and yes we def need padme like yesterday)

LOOK ;;;;;; OK ;;;;; DOOKU IS VERY TIRED OF ALL THESE YOUNG MEN RUNNIGN AROUND DOING BACKFLIPS OFF THE FURNITURE OK;;;;;

i regularly heck up on getting the event units that require certain teams , like;;;;;;;; i will get most of the shards but that last battle is JUST NOT HAPPENING. 

That debuff stacking sounds GLORIOUS. I feel like I’m missing out on huge opportunities, like ;;;;; the obvious thing should be to pair Ben and Vader??? especially for me?? But I’m so impatient and both Vader and Ben’s attacks don’t seem to hit hard;;;;; so I don’t very often use either of them haha .__. I don’t play very clever

YES THOUGH, I LAUGHED FOR LIKE NINE YEARS WHEN I REALIZED GRIEVOUS WAS CATEGORIZED AS A DROID!!!!!!!! I feel like he doesn’t so much count as a salty grandpa, but as their annoying younger nephew or something, that’s just the feel I get from him lmao

like, grievous would get overly ambitious and excitable and go charging off and the rest of the team is just like “ ;;;; sigh .........“

no one is as salty as mace is tho

likealeafonthewind replied to your post “I just recently hit lvl 72 on galaxy of heroes which is the next ‘new...”

                   ahhh, you have chaze? i'm so jealous. i'm working on chirrut now but it's slow going. i've decided to start focusing more on gear and mods than leveling up my characters (except for red silk guy) but i'm not sure how that's working out for me in the long run. but it's hard because i've been trying to get anakin and lando too and i just don't have enough energy or sim tickets for all of that.                

YES!! I got Chaze!!! It’s annoyingly hard to get shards for them though since they only cycle thru the stores occasionally -- which ------ which I guess I get; they’re OP as HELL together. If I hadn’t gotten lucky and been gifted Baze by one of those quadpacks, I still wouldn’t have them

working on mods and gear for the characters you do have is a good strategy tho, since at the levels you’re at, you can’t be competitively viable without them. Even though I’ve fought pass the most recent Barriss shard level, if I don’t pay attention when I play that battle, I can still get my butt handed to me. I do take a day off from grinding shards to check and see if I can at least gear up anyone - but I tend to have my characters at their highest gear level reasonable; I’m constantly waiting on the really highleveled purple gear to drop and get most of it from challenges or raids anyway.

literally so many of my characters need the MK IV purple laptop thing!!!!! why!!!!!!!! DEAR CHARACTERS, WHY DO YOU NEED 50 MK VII GLOBES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVEN’T UNLOCKED A SINGLE BATTLE FOR THEM YET!!!!!

The only thing with mods, is you kind of HAVE to use them, but eventually you’re going to get better mods, so then you have to replace them. Prioritizing that, plus all the credits that get sunk into it ...... ouch :(

I hear you about the energy and sim tickets. Most of the time I can just auto thru shard battles when I can, but on busy days and when I’m at work, you really only have the time to sim thru them. And if you’re gearing up characters, that can easily eat thru several days worth of energy since they’re not guaranteed drops :\

loverofcake replied to your post “teapirate replied to your post “I just recently hit lvl 72 on galaxy...”

                   I actually find Dooku super useful! Even though leveling him up is taking me FOREVER. I'm 17 shards off 5 stars with him and at that I've been doing 6 fights daily for his shards since not long after I started playing. I have found his force lightning and flawless riposte VERY useful though :D                

ITS;;;; A CONSPIRACY????? Because you unlock his shard battle so fast!! how can he actually be this hard to upgrade??? wtf????

I always secretly though he’d be pretty useful, but facing Darth Nihilius a lot just makes everyone else look pretty pitiful in comparison. I never worry too much about facing a darksider team unless it has Darth Nihilus. BTW. FUCK DARTH NIHILUS.

Dooku did terrorize me for a while, though - at least until everyone got Sidious, and then I leveled up to where all the people who had Nihilus were. I was so annoyed about his Force Lightning and counters.

i'm SO not playing this game right lmao, i've started collecting characters 100% based on how much i hate facing them n must exact revenge by inflicting the same frustration on my enemies (which is.. an ai/randomiser..), but i'm enjoying it??? (also i enjoy you sharing tales of your progress!)

that’s delightful, i love it! I bet if/when you come up on my matches, I skip right over it because I just “no .... .. ... .” rest assured, your enemies are vexed!

any team with Chirrut on it gets skipped. Same for Nihilus. High leveled Barriss teams. Any Boba led bounty hunter teams. Rebel teams with Lando or Wedge. That’s what I can think of offhand.

Leia is a pain in the ass but not impossible to face, even if she cripples my team, I haven’t been beaten by a team because of her, rather than it happenstancing. Well, but I also don’t face any rebel teams in general. Facing her on a pure rebel team would probably be hell.

IDK, I think I have a similar method of playing to yours? Any character that’s pretty effective, I’ll try out. I don’t have an special attachment to Rey for example, but she smashes, so I love her and use her on my teams a lot. I hear that Kylo is pretty good, so I’m actively working toward him, despite lots of people peeling their lip about it lol.

(I say that, but no amount of furiously loathing to face Boba can convince me to activate that character, even if he’s really super useful, even if it locks me out of the bounty hunter events. fuck off boba.)