#teamastronaut

And by popular demand, here goes the reasoning behind why i’m starting an entirely new channel.  So, as i explained in the video I started my channel appealing to an audience that wasn’t really the right fit for me. My content didn’t represent the core of who I was and therefore it was unsustainable for me. People who know me know that i avoid doing things where I have to hold back my full expression.  i don’t like holding back who I am, but my channel quickly became a vegan channel after it’s inception where all my content was basically either about food or veganism. And therefore people began to expect nothing else. When i made videos about my own life or other topics no one really watched.. well because that isn’t what they signed up for. the signed up to a vegan channel expressing everything about veganism and spreading the message.  There was a time in the very beginning where i talked about other topics. but i was basically lost. When i really started to be a part of the vegan community I became really passionate about everything vegan and was influenced by other vegans to spread the word, so I did. and i was basically just ranting, being influenced by the negative militant vegans, and preaching to the choir.  I became engulfed in the vegan community and forgot why I was on youtube. I’m vegan and veganism is true to my heart but it isn’t the core of who I am. i see YouTube as a form of Art and this makes me an artist. And what is an artist if they can’t express themselves the way they want to. Now there’s always the exception to the rule. No one is 100% real on the net or in real life. NO ONE. it doesn’t mean everyone lies. It means everyone doesn’t reveal every single thing about their life and thoughts. Even I don’t do that.  Does that mean these people are fake because they don’t reveal it all? No, we all need privacy. and time is another reason as well. Everything can’t be a priority to get out there to your audience because if everything was then no message would be spread.  Anyways. So, I started my channel in a messed up state mentally. I was influenced by a false prophet/cult leader on Youtube and i was just breaking out of his influence when i got on youtube but the residue was still there. and ironically I came under the influence of another cult leader(s). This time ones that were actually planted within the vegan community.  The majority of my channel i was so lost, angry, full of hatred and misguiding people. It started out really bad like a baby born out of rape..  This is not to say I have all the answers now. I’m still learning things and there’s so much to learn. But what i am saying is that i am no longer full of hatred and anger anymore. And I've came along way from being lost. I think we’re all lost to some degree but I know i have a pretty strong direction now for where I want to go.  So, during Passion And Fruit. I was majorly influenced by the rulers of the militant vegan community. The top dogs. I wanted to be like them and at the time I thought they were inspiring, but now i see it as toxic negative energy they are spreading. Not everything they say is bad, but I do think it’s a good idea to stay away from negative influences.  anyways .I started to gain a little bit of popularity from being so brash and trash talking meat eaters. it became an easy way to get support and get praise. although this praise and support was just because I agreed with them and I was somebody that gave militant vegans another reason to act the way they do towards others and hate meat eaters. I participated in facilitating spreading negative energy coming from the vegan community. I thought it was cool to bash meat eaters. It was fun and it made me feel good to bash other people for doing something that I didn’t agree with.  But all of a sudden it seemed like all of that changed and I realized all of this wasn’t being true to myself and it didn’t sit well with me anymore. it left a bad taste in my mouth and i brought it up to the vegan community, “why are we acting like this towards meat eaters?” And boy did that not sit well with this passionate militant vegan audience I built up over the past year and a half. and I really didn’t build my own audience.  As i said in my video. the audience was never really my audience. They were an audience for the cause of veganism and i was just another youtuber who supported the cause. So this audience only cared about my channel because i spoke about veganism and food, and nothing else. if i didn’t create content relating to these things they didn’t like it.  Also, and this is KEY. Most of the audience I had was mostly borrowed from the audience of the rulers of the militant vegan community. Within this community is a sub-sect of high carb vegans as well. Most of my audience was either high-carb vegans, militant vegans, or both. One seemed to be obsessed with food related topics and the other obsessed forcing the vegan message onto people. In retrospect i see both of these communities played a role in my life at the time, but they are so far from representing the core of who I am, because I’m so much more than these labels. I became the guy appealing to the orthorexics out there. the food obsessed audience. and then also the audience full of hatred that consists of the militant vegan community.  so when i questioned the ways of the militant vegan community and stopped always talking about food. i began to create a lot of enemies within my own viewership and they turned on me. during this time i gained a lot of views and subs from people that sided with me. but here comes another piece.. these people that subbed to me and viewed my vids just did so because they loved drama. so to keep this audience i would have to always make videos about drama. I decided against that and then those people starting leaving.  So, then I got the idea just to start over from scratch. and not try to appeal to a certain audience just because i’m a part of a certain cause. and actually think  about what my role is as a youtube’r. What’s true to my heart. What are my gifts. And what’s my highest purpose that makes me unique and valuable to the world. and it absolutely has to be in alignment with the core of who I am for me to happy and fulfilled.  after i started to make videos that were more true to me, my viewership decreased drastically and only became 10% of what it was when i was doing drama videos. i was getting on average around 1,000 views per video and then when i went off and did my own thing i’ve been averaging a little over 100 per video.  i had to accept that I could not win the battle of becoming a top figure within these communities. there are already rulers there who control these communities. instead i decided to take the loss on becoming a top figure in the vegan community because first off it wasn’t even my biggest dream in the first place. Perhaps when i’m more successful and eventual more vegans will listen to my perspective but i’m not ready yet to do that.  instead i’m happy with relating to a community that i can actually relate with because it is in alignment with my core purpose. At one point i was really hurt by seeing my numbers of views and subscribers steadily decrease. but then i became happy about that because those who are left, still watching, and still leaving awesome comments are my TRUE audience. and you guys can actually relate with my core message which makes me super excited before I attracted the wrong audience. I thought by changing my name, and branding I could then begin to recover my channel and build up momentum again. and perhaps i can, but i don’t want to wait to find out. Right now I have about  a little over 2500 subscribers and only 100 regular people in average within the first day watch my videos. That’s only 4% viewership and that shows me that most people who are subscribed don’t even watch what i produce and I don’t like that feeling. 20% viewership is more a healthy number. and the fact that such a little percentage of my subscribers actually watch my vid has showed my that my channel is at it’s last breath. The dark energy that started with this channel has still lingered on and it’s been time for a rebirth.  And guess what. With a new birth comes a new birth date. and to have a new birthdate on youtube you need to create a new channel. Creating a new channel symbolizes something for me. And it weeds out all those subscribers who actually don’t care for what i do, because to be in this new audience initiative has to be taken to subscribe to my new channel. I feel good knowing people are subscribed to me because they can actually relate to my message and aren’t just subscribed to me to be entertained by drama, fighting, negative energy, or just because i’m a part of their cause. people will like me not just because i’m vegan but more than that. and yet, while writing this i remembered yet another reason for doing this. So youtube seems to have these algorithms right. and being that i got so invested into these communities who i can’t really relate with anymore youtube puts me in the same group as some of these youtuber’s i really don’t like. like if you go to my old channel and look at the column that says “related channels” you’ll see channels that have very little in relation to me now.  So are we done yet?! haha i think so. there’s probably more. but i’ll leave it with this for now and may edit it some more later. Thank you for reading this far my fellow Astronaut. Even though this team is small right now. I know it will grow to be a big an beautiful community. I’m just so grateful for the astronauts i have with me now. You guys and gals are amazing and make everything I do worth it. Thanks for sticking around through my craziness, up’s and downs, etc. Thanks for the support. you guys are true friends and the BEST team in the universe!