#teagan.

The weather was clearing up, but Wynne’s mind was not. Inside their head, it was dark and cloudy, constantly threatening a rain storm if not worse. There were solutions for these feelings out there, and one of them was to get out there. To venture into nature and surround themself with it, to try and ground themself by exercising their muscles and inhaling the smell of pines and blossoming trees. To swim.

Darkling lake was large enough for them to feel small in. They had gathered some of their things, borrowed Teddy’s car and driven up to the State Park. With their belongings left on the shore, they had waded into the water until they were far enough where their feet no longer touched the ground. And then, they had moved to lay on their back, floating like the opposite of a snow angel, eyes squeezed half-shut to tolerate the bright sky above them. The storm was still in their head, but it was manageable.

They were lying there for quite some time, trying to be at peace when a sound crashed through the quiet. (The relative quiet, of course: there was the wind between branches and the whistles of birds, the creaking of tired trees and the faraway sound of cars rushing past one another.) Wynne folded together, moving upright and looking around frantically to try and locate the sound of the scream. A woman, not too far from them, was drowning. They did not think, not once, before swimming over with impressive speed.

It was always impressive to Teagan how long Darkling Lake went. It took her hours to traverse a few deep corners, and even with a full day of swimming, with her speed, she knew she’d never make a full sweep. How big, how beautiful she was.

Teagan had little urge to drown that day, instead taking to a vigilant watch. There were popular corners, where litter was more prevalent, but that day, she saw very little destruction. She wondered for a moment if people were finally learning, if they could finally see what she did, but that musing was cut short when a familiar thrashing disturbed the water. 

The sound echoed enough for it to reach Teagan at her depth, and she smiled. Another nix, perhaps? Or just the natural pull of the water taking someone? Giggling, she sped toward it. When she could see the white bubbles of activity rushing through the water, she stopped, wanting to wait for the show to end before she drew closer. 

Her grin persisted, even as she realized the creature wasn’t even fae, but it quickly faded when she saw Wynne making their way over.  “Wynne, no!” Teagan dove into the water, her tail surging her forward. She caught Wynne at their waist, pulling them away from the danger. When her head reached the air, she warned, “This is the water’s will. You cannot interfere.”

Though most their memories from the commune were tainted, there were still plenty of skills Wynne carried with them from that time. One of them was their ability to swim. All the youth had been taught from an early age and ha dalso learned how to rescue someone. Considering they lived on the shores of a large lake, it was not only a handy skill to have on hand but a necessity. They remembered how their parents had insisted they always look after Iwan when they went in the water together. 

Their responsibility for their brother was something of the past now, but they still held the skill and instincts. So when something wrapped aorund their waist and pulled them back. Their first instinct was to trash, panic surging up through their throat.  

But then, there was Teagan's voice. Her familiar face and the rest of her, which Wynne knew but wasn't as familiar with. “What?!” They tried to pull themself loose from Teagan, neck straining to look at the drowning woman who continued to scream for aid. “We have to help her! The water — why would it want anyone to drown? Why … I'm not going to let that happen!”  

Nature was an indomitable force, they knew. Teagan probably knew it even better. And yet, they weren't going to just sit – or float – by and watch this happen. “Let me go!” 

“It is nature's will. You're going to get yourself hurt!” Wynne was a bundle of flurrying, wet limbs, and despite being accustomed to the water, they slipped out of Teagan’s grasp. 

Fear like ice frosted across the nix's back, and she floated in shock for far too long. She knew others drowned in the same body of water as she, but there were some that did so out of revenge. An innate desire to do to others what had been done to them. Rusalka, Teagan had learned as a young child. 

She usually kept her distance from other sentient creatures, unable to grapple with the chance that she may have created one or two monsters. Or more. Much like the one she had locked eyes with right then. Teagan recognized that face almost instantly as she dove underwater, recalling one of her final drownings before the winter. 

It appeared she would not find a true rest in the lake, and if she didn't act, Wynne may very well share the same fate. “Wynne!” Teagan called frantically, diving after them and preparing for a fight. 

There was a woman drowning and Teagan did not want them to go after it. Wynne knew vaguely of some of the things Teagan did in the lake, but not really — they didn’t want to ask, and perhaps didn’t even want to know. They just knew they would not be watching while someone was in peril.

And Wynne was a good and strong swimmer. Teagan was faster, but she was not catching up, but it did not phase them. They watched the woman go under and picked up their pace, feet kicking faster. Speed should come from the feet, that they remembered. 

They did not heed Teagan’s calls, but in stead dove after the woman, diving deep into the water with their eyes open. The lake was relatively clear (in part due to Teagan’s efforts), but they saw nothing. Not the woman, only the dark muddiness of the water. And … a song, in a language they hadn't heard in quite some time but was eerily familiar.

Wynne pushed deeper, holding in their breath tightly. It was doable until something closed around their stretched out wrists, pulling them down.

“Wynne!” It felt like it had been the hundredth time that Teagan had called out their name. They weren't listening, and she couldn't understand why. Despite her efforts to warn them, to explain what she was otherwise an expert on, Wynne was determined to save a life. 

Had it been anyone else, Teagan would have let them go, but they weren't just anyone. They were a friend. They were Arden's friend. She couldn't let them drown. Especially not when their life held value in a place that did not take such currency. Not when it was Teagan's debt to pay. 

The water bubbled in streaks the farther Wynne went, water cooling with each thrust of their feet. “Stop!” Teagan called out, her hand outstretched to grab ahold of Wynne's ankle. “Please!” Right when she was about to catch her friend, the sound of the nix's own voice echoed in the surrounding area.

Teagan didn't stop and she didn't look around, knowing it was just a trick. “Don't listen! Don't look!” She pleaded, despite knowing all too well that Wynne's ears weren't equipped to hear her voice in the water. Teagan desperately picked up her pace, commanding the water to help her in a last ditch effort. It worked, for the most part. 

The rusalka and Wynne stopped, but something much worse revealed itself by the time Teagan reached her friend: A copy of the nix, singing and holding onto Wynne with a menacing smile. Teagan tugged weakly at their arm, silently begging them to not look. She attempted to pull them away, but the rusalka's illusion had her too stunned to use more of her strength. 

They had recently learned about lung capacity in school. They had all used an equation to figure out how big their lungs were and Wynne could fit most volume in theirs — something they chalked up to being a swimmer. But as they were dragged down, they knew there was trouble ahead. Even if they could hold their breath longer than most, there would come a moment where they’d need to come up and breathe.

Teagan’s voice was a gargled mess of watery sounds but they heard her, still. In their panic, they did not wonder how she’d known that there was trouble ahead and what even was pulling her down. It simply seemed most logical that the woman who had drowned had succumbed to this too. They tried to pull back their hands, but the grip was tight if not bruising.

At least Wynne knew better than to scream. Back at the commune, their education had lacked, but they had learned how not to drown. To stay as calm as possible and to save your energy. And they were trying. They were trying their damndest to stay calm, just as they always did.

The thing that pulled them down switched their grip, holding them in a way that might seem kinder but was tight as iron all the same. Another shape joined the fray, though, the blonde blossom of Teagan’s hair recognizable even this deep under. Wynne pulled free one of their arms, returning the grip on Teagan’s arm so the pair of them had more chance at swimming out. It was hard to tell what was happening down here, in the arms of a strange creature and with water-warbled music filling the space, but they knew they had to get out.

Wynne kicked, threw the elbow of their trapped arm back and tried to hit the thing in the face with the back of their skull. The only reason to stop being calm when drowning, was when you were fighting to get up again.

Tearing her focus away from the rusalka’s illusion, the nix yanked at Wynne again, with more force that time. She kept her claws from grazing across flesh, finding the resolve she needed to take control of her surroundings. 

Teagan shoved her hand toward the rusalka, pulling Wynne away from it as she kicked her webbed feet. White water trailed behind her with the force at which she moved. With Wynne secured in her arms, she left behind the scene and broke through the surface in record time. Despite her ability to breathe underwater, Teagan was breathless and fear-struck, but thankful that she’d gotten Wynne out in time. Now they just needed to get to shore.

“Wynne, are you okay?” She didn’t stop moving, propelling the both of them to land in case the rusalka continued its efforts. That was the last thing Teagan or Wynne needed, and fortunately for them, most rusalki didn’t leave the water. That didn’t stop Teagan from remaining vigilant, though. Not even when she’d drug Wynne a few feet away from the water, once again asking, “Are you okay?”

Teagan was strong, her swimming not human in the best kind of way and Wynne let themself be pulled along, away from the drowning woman. Whatever she was, she was nothing they could save, not like this and not right now. The only thing to do now was survive.

They did not answer Teagan, in stead gulping air into their lungs and releasing it again in a rhythm that was too faced, too panicked to do them much good. But they were breathing, and that was the most important thing — focusing on how to breathe right could come later, for now they just watched the shore come closer. Once there, they ended on all fours, breathing in and out, in and out, before looking at Teagan.

“What was that?” Their curiosity was desperate, pleading. “I — I’m okay, I’m okay, what was that? What just happened? Where is — where’s the woman?” She was dead, wasn’t she? She had drowned the way Wynne nearly had. “How did you know?”

Idly while she watched the lake for any break on the surface, Teagan made soothing circles to Wynne’s back. She waited for their breathing to become less erratic to give them an answer. Anything said while their lungs were greedy for air may become lost, and after what Wynne had been through, Teagan felt like she owed them some answers.

And finally, Wynne’s voice settled.

“That was…a rusalka. A revenant, of sorts. Almost like an afanc.” A demon of the water set on killing whatever stepped into its territory. A Welsh myth Teagan recalled, knowing Wynne had an upbringing in the culture. “Those creatures are made in these waters by dying in them. Drowning in them.” 

Teagan left it in the air for Wynne to miss or catch the implications of her part in creating a monster, though she hoped for the former. “As for the woman you tried to help, she likely wasn’t real. Rusalka can create illusions, but regardless…there was nothing you could do.”

Their panicked breaths hurt their lungs but it was better than not breathing at all, than the ache that had sat in their chest before. They made their body small, knees pulled up to their chest as they looked at Teagan and waited for answers. Wynne knew there was always more to know.

The word afanc was vaguely familiar to them, just one of the many characters in stories told back at home. So the woman who had looked like she was drowning had not been real, or had already drowned. Wynne found little comfort in the thought. “So, like … undead?” 

They rested their head on their knees, biting their lip. Why had the woman drowned here? There were plenty of explanations, each discomforting. “How can you tell them apart from someone who needs actual help? You were able to.” It wasn’t an accusation, it was a genuine plea for help. Wynne did not want to die, and they did not want their (mostly) good intentions to lead to their death. 

“Truthfully?” Teagan arched a brow, avoiding Wynne's gaze as she answered. “I was fooled, too. Thought someone was drowning and went to watch.” She shrugged it off, as if it wasn't a big deal. Because it wasn't. Not to her. 

Drowning was a part of her nature, and she wasn't going to apologize for it. The guilt she felt only remained because Wynne was nearly a victim of it themself. Had it been anyone else, Teagan would've watched with a grin on her face and a few giggles of glee. Maybe even offer applause. Who was anyone to change that about her? Her nature?

“I don't need to differentiate what real or fake sounds of drowning are. I don't stop them, and unless the victim is someone I know, I won't.” Teagan emphasized the final part, leaving no room for argument. “I've seen that woman in the lake before, though.” It wasn't a lie. But it wasn't the whole truth either. Her actions nearly killed a friend, and it was daunting to admit to that. “That's how I knew something was up.” Sighing, Teagan stood and stepped slowly back in the lake. Not far. Just enough to feel its presence surrounding her by her knees. 

“You should probably go. If you come back in, who knows if she'll be back.”

Wynne was quiet for a long time as they digested Teagan's words. The fae had been watching the woman drowning and not felt an inclination to stop it. She did not stop people from drowning unless she knew them, which they thought was strange and arguably wrong. She watched it happen. Was that what she had meant, when she had talked of 'nature's will'?  

They could not help but think of the other fae they'd met, the banshees who talked about the natural order of death like its inevitability was an excuse not to fight it. Wynne got up to their feet, discomfort swirling in their stomach. So Teagan had only helped because she knew them. It was far from a comfort. “If someone is drowning you should aid them if you can,” they muttered, “Even if you do not know them.”  

They scanned the shores, looking for their belongings. They were quite a way's away from where they had entered the water, but they wouldn't mind the walk to clear their head. Even if their body felt exhausted and their head bursting with new stressors. “Maybe she should … leave the lake.” Maybe she should die, Wynne almost said. If this woman was like a demon, if she was like an undead creature that had intended to kill them — then maybe that would be better. They swallowed the words.  

Teagan was back in the lake and they were standing on the shore, their chest still aching. They were angry and sad, as they often were those days. “I'll go.”  

Wynne's reaction wasn't unexpected. It was human. They didn't and weren't going to understand what it meant to have an inherent call to something they couldn't outgrow or outrun. 

Drowning was as much a need as breathing. As eating. As living. Teagan was not ashamed of what she was, and she wasn't going to be. At opposing ends is where the two of them would lie. Teagan didn't try to fight it, say something that could garner a change in Wynne. They were human and Teagan was not. It was as simple as that.