#teacherreflection

Teaching, at its core, is a deeply human endeavor. Beyond instructional strategies and curriculum outcomes, what often sustains teachers through the demands of the profession is not just the act of teaching itself but the relationships formed within it. Human connection in the classroom is not a sentimental bonus; it is a central, evidence-based contributor to both teacher effectiveness and well-being.

Educational psychology increasingly acknowledges teaching as an emotionally laborious and relational practice. As Hargreaves (1998) asserted in his seminal work, The Emotional Practice of Teaching, "Good teaching is charged with positive emotion. It is not just a matter of knowing one's subject, being efficient, having correct competencies, or learning the right techniques." Rather, good teaching “arises out of the relationships teachers build with their students.”

This idea is echoed and expanded upon by Sarah Mercer (2016), who emphasizes that language teaching in particular is inherently affective and relational. She argues that the quality of interpersonal relationships in the classroom significantly impacts both learner success and teacher well-being. Teachers who feel connected to their students are more likely to experience intrinsic motivation, job satisfaction, and resilience (Mercer, 2016; Yin et al., 2019).

From a cognitive science perspective, the social brain hypothesis suggests that our brains are evolutionarily wired for connection (Dunbar, 1998). Social interactions stimulate neural circuits related to empathy, reward, and meaning-making suggesting that the emotional bonds we form in classrooms are not only psychologically satisfying but neurologically reinforcing. This could explain why something as simple as a student’s enthusiastic participation, or an appreciative glance during a lesson, feels deeply rewarding.

Positive psychology offers further insight. Fredrickson’s Broaden-and-Build Theory of Positive Emotions (2001) posits that positive emotional exchanges such as those between teacher and student enhance our cognitive flexibility, build resilience, and create upward spirals of well-being. These brief yet powerful moments of interpersonal resonance contribute not only to teacher flourishing but to more dynamic, trusting classroom environments.

In practical terms, these human interactions can turn a routine lesson into something meaningful. A simple “thank you” after class, a student bravely asking a question, or the shy learner finally laughing out loud, these micro-moments of trust and joy are small, but they accumulate. They are often what teachers remember long after the term ends.

As a language teacher, I often receive affirmations from my students, verbal and non-verbal, that they feel safe, seen, and engaged. These connections don’t just help them learn. They help me teach.

There are days when I enter the classroom exhausted, uncertain, or quiet from life’s weight. And then, something shifts. A student greets me with a smile, another asks a follow-up question from yesterday’s lesson, and sometimes the quietest one says, “I like today’s activity.” These may seem like small things, but in the life of a teacher, they are everything. They remind me that presence matters. That being human in the classroom isn't a flaw; it's a gift.

And so, while we prepare our materials and plan our outcomes, it’s worth remembering that no learning happens in a vacuum. The relational space we co-create with our students may be the most powerful pedagogy of all.

It is in those shared silences, honest laughter, and mutual care that we not only build understanding but belonging. And in that belonging, we teach and are taught in return.

How do you nurture meaningful connections in your own learning or teaching spaces?

Selected References:

Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218–226.

Hargreaves, A. (1998). The emotional practice of teaching. Teaching and Teacher Education, 14(8), 835–854.

Mercer, S. (2016). Teacher well-being and the complexity of language teaching. In Gkonou, T., Tatzl, D., & Mercer, S. (Eds.), New Directions in Language Learning Psychology (pp. 103–123). Springer.

Yin, H., Huang, S., & Wang, W. (2019). Work environment characteristics and teacher well-being: The mediation of emotion regulation strategies. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 16(24), 4701.

Saturday Morning Reflection Break 🌤️

The most powerful part of teaching is that the impact rarely ends with the student.

Sometimes it continues through: a parent returning to college, a family pursuing new opportunities, or a child growing up believing their future can be bigger than their circumstances.

Education can shift the direction of entire generations.

For educators serving underserved communities, the work is often exhausting, unseen, and underestimated — yet deeply transformational.

Keep planting seeds. Some of them become futures you never imagined possible.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a kindergarten teacher, it’s this: Trust isn’t given—it’s built, nurtured, and earned.

When a child walks through my classroom door, they carry with them a world of stories, emotions, and values shaped by their family. And when a parent leaves them in my care, they’re not just handing over a backpack—they’re handing over their heart.

That’s why building trust between teachers and families is not just a professional goal for me—it’s a deeply personal mission. It's the invisible thread that connects everything we do in early education.

🌱 Why Trust Matters So Much in the Early Years

In the early childhood classroom, trust creates a powerful, interconnected triangle:

Children feel secure and confident: When they see their parents and teacher communicating positively, they feel safe and ready to explore and learn. Imagine a child beaming because their teacher mentioned something fun they did at home, showing their worlds are connected.

Parents feel heard and respected: They feel confident that their unique child is seen and understood, which empowers them to be active partners. A parent who trusts you will be more likely to share vital information about their child's needs or struggles.

Teachers feel supported and valued: Knowing families trust your judgment and effort creates a collaborative environment, making your demanding job feel more fulfilling.

With trust:

We navigate challenges together, transforming potential roadblocks into collaborative problem-solving opportunities.

We celebrate milestones as a unified team, amplifying the joy of every small victory.

We create a shared foundation that consistently supports the child’s learning, emotional well-being, and overall development.

Without trust? Even the best lesson plans, the most innovative activities, or the kindest intentions can fall flat. A lack of trust can lead to misunderstandings, parental anxiety, and a child who feels caught between two worlds.

🧩 1. Begin Before Day One: Laying the Foundation

The journey of trust begins even before the first bell rings. A warm, proactive introduction goes an incredibly long way in establishing a positive rapport.

How I Do It:

Before school officially starts, I send a friendly welcome letter or email to each family. Sometimes, I even make brief, individual phone calls to simply introduce myself and express my excitement.

What to Include:

A personal touch: Instead of just formalities, I'll say something like, "I've been looking forward to meeting [Child's Name] and getting to know your family! We're going to have such a wonderful year together."

A clear statement of partnership: "I truly believe that when families and teachers work as a team, magical things happen for children. I see us as partners in your child's learning journey."

Key practical information: Briefly mention how I'll communicate (e.g., "I'll be using ClassDojo for daily updates and sending a weekly newsletter.") and invite them to reach out with any initial questions.

That first message sets the tone: this relationship is about mutual care, respect, and collaboration. It's about opening the door to connection, not just curriculum.

👀 2. See the Family as Experts: Tapping into Invaluable Knowledge

Every parent is the ultimate expert on their own child. They know their child's quirks, their comfort zones, their hidden talents, and what makes them tick. Valuing this knowledge shows respect and fosters a deeper understanding of the child.

How I Do It:

During our initial meetings (or even through a simple "All About My Child" questionnaire), I actively seek out their insights.

Examples of Questions I Ask:

"What are some unique interests or passions your child has at home right now? Do they love dinosaurs, building blocks, or singing?" (This helps me tailor activities to their interests.)

"What calms your child when they’re upset or feeling overwhelmed?" (Knowing if a quiet corner, a specific book, or a gentle hug helps is invaluable.)

"What makes them light up and feel truly joyful?" (Learning about their favorite silly songs or games helps me connect with them.)

"What are your biggest hopes or dreams for your child this year in kindergarten?" (This helps align our goals and shows I care about their aspirations.)

By asking these questions, I'm communicating, "I respect your role as your child's first teacher, and your insights are gold to me." This approach shows parents that I truly value their perspective and want their voice to be an integral part of our classroom rhythm.

✨ 3. Communicate with Consistency & Warmth: Nurturing the Relationship

Trust doesn’t grow from formal, once-a-year reports alone. It flourishes in the small, frequent, and positive moments of contact. These consistent touchpoints reassure families that their child is seen, safe, and loved.

How I Do It:

I make it a priority to:

Send positive notes home (even short ones!): A quick sticky note on their child's artwork: "So proud of [Child's Name] for trying so hard on their writing today!" or a message on ClassDojo: "Just wanted to share that Emma was so gentle helping a friend pick up blocks today. It made my heart smile!" These simple affirmations mean the world.

Share photos of joyful learning moments: A picture of their child engaged in a science experiment, laughing with friends during dramatic play, or proudly holding up a drawing. "Look at Max's concentration during our building center today!" These visuals bring the classroom to life for parents.

Respond to messages kindly and promptly: Even if I can't give a full answer immediately, a quick "Got your message about pickup, I'll confirm soon!" acknowledges their communication and builds reliability.

Use apps (like ClassDojo or Seesaw) or communication folders: These provide structured, reliable channels for daily or weekly updates on activities, reminders, and individual progress.

These small, consistent connections reassure families: “My child is safe, loved, and truly seen by their teacher.” They transform a school day into a shared experience.

🔄 4. Be Transparent During Tough Moments: Honesty with Empathy

Trust is often tested most during challenges. Whether it's a behavior concern, a social struggle, or a developmental need, approaching parents with honesty and care—not blame—is crucial.

How I Do It:

If a concern arises, I make sure to:

Approach them privately and respectfully: Never discuss sensitive issues at pick-up in front of other parents or children. I'll schedule a quick phone call or private meeting.

Lead with observations, not judgments: "Here’s what I’ve observed during our play time today: [Child's Name] had difficulty sharing the red truck and then pushed a friend."

Ask for their insights: "Have you seen this kind of interaction at home or in other settings? Do you have any thoughts on what might be happening?" Their perspective is vital for understanding the full picture.

Collaborate on a plan: "Let’s work together on a plan. Perhaps we can try [strategy A] at school and you could reinforce [strategy B] at home. We can check in again next week."

Even difficult conversations can strengthen trust when approached with compassion, clear communication, and a spirit of teamwork. It shows parents that you're on their side, working with them for their child's best interest.

💬 5. Celebrate Progress Together: Shared Victories Build Bonds

When a child learns to zip their coat independently, comfort a friend who is sad, or write their name for the very first time—it’s not just a classroom win. It’s a family win, a testament to shared effort and a child's incredible growth.

How I Do It:

I make a conscious effort to share these milestones with parents, often relating it back to previous conversations or goals.

Examples:

"Do you remember when we talked about [Child's Name] working on zipping their coat? Look! They did it all by themselves today when we went outside!"

"We discussed [Child's Name] building confidence in using their words instead of cries. Today, they clearly told a friend, 'My turn please!' I was so proud!"

(After parent-teacher conferences where a goal was set): "Remember that goal we set for [Child's Name] to recognize more letters? They recognized three new ones during our reading group today!"

These shared victories build a relationship rooted in pride, joy, and undeniable partnership. They reinforce that you're truly invested in their child's development.

🌈 A Story from My Classroom

One year, I had a sweet child named Leo who had a very hard time separating from his mom each morning. Each day began with tears, and the tension was palpable for both of them.

Instead of just focusing on managing Leo's behavior, I reached out to his mother gently, "Let’s talk about what this moment is like for you, too. It looks tough for both of you."

She opened up about her own anxiety, feeling guilty leaving him upset. Together, we brainstormed a small goodbye ritual: a special "squeeze hand" handshake, a quick kiss on a laminated photo of her to put in his cubby, and a promise to meet again soon. Within weeks, mornings were smoother—for both of them.

The turning point? She felt seen and understood as a parent, not just as someone whose child was "acting out." And that allowed us to truly support Leo together, making his transition to school a positive one.

💡 6 Quick Tips for Building Family Trust in Your Classroom

🤲 Be approachable and human: Share a little about yourself, smile, and make eye contact. A genuine "Good morning!" goes a long way.

📝 Document progress and share often: Pictures, quick notes, and examples of their child's work provide tangible evidence of learning and care.

🧏‍♀️ Listen more than you speak: Give parents space to share their thoughts and feelings without interruption. Practice active listening.

🗓️ Offer opportunities for casual check-ins: Beyond formal conferences, let parents know it's okay to send a quick email or chat briefly at pickup if needed.

🎉 Share the good moments—not just the big ones: Celebrate small acts of kindness, new discoveries, or a moment of deep concentration.

🌼 Express gratitude for their trust: Remind them you appreciate their partnership: "Thank you for sharing [Child's Name] with me each day. It's a privilege."

💛 Final Thought

"When families trust the teacher, children trust the classroom."

And that trust becomes the unwavering foundation for everything: joyful learning, positive behavior, open communication, and true belonging. It transforms a classroom into an extended family, working together for the brightest future of each child.

So to every family I meet, I want to say:

“Thank you for letting me walk this journey with you. I don’t take your trust lightly—and I promise to walk with care, dedication, and an open heart.”

Because behind every strong early learning environment, there’s not just a dedicated teacher—but a powerful team of caring adults, working hand in hand, united by trust.

My professor gives me really nice, sensitive, specific feedback on my writing.

Even so, reading any kind of critique on my work makes me self-destruct. So, I’ll never be able to be a writer of any kind. But that’s besides the point.

I need to back the hell off on my student’s writing. I used to take pride in my snarky feedback to my students. Now, I’m absolutely ashamed of myself and will never make the kinds of comments I used to. 

If his really worthy critique is making me, an accomplished, intelligent master’s student, feel worthless, how does me saying “What are you even saying here?” make an average high school student feel? Probably like shit.