#tbta

*spoilers ahead*

🎵VIKINGS playlist “in the name of the raven king” on Spotify🎵

Floki’s laugh

Floki in general (and his makeup!)

Katheryn Winnick as Lagertha

war paint

anyone saying “Christian” in a snarling/mocking manner with an Old Norse-ish accent always gets me

Ragnar taking the world by storm

“WHO WANTS TO BE KING?”

💖 Ragnar x Athelstan 💖

the Ragnarsons

Ivar, the baddest bitch in tow-  I mean boneless

Ivar killing someone by pouring liquid gold in their mouth (hell of a way to go if you ask me)

Ivar walking upright on crutches for the first time

like that scene was so powerful, I got chills

also, his brothers’ faces literally said “oh shit” when they saw him and I loved it

casting Jordan Patrick Smith as Travis Fimmel’s son

Alfred looking to Ubbe for hairstyle advice

Rollo acting like his baptism didn’t mean shit although we all now know that was major fucking foREShaDowiNG

Björn deciding to leave with his mother (in your face, cheater!!!)

Lagertha just kicking (male) ass left and right throughout the whole show

also her kinda literally stabbing Aslaug in the back (finALLY!!)

Aslaug’s love for Ivar though... might’ve been her best trait

on the topic of motherly love: Judith killing Aethelred

THE blood eagle

Ivar killing Sigurd and then visually seeing it in his face when he realizes what he’s done

Alex Høgh Andersen is an international treasure

Björn taking the stereotypical young adult “i NeEd tO fINd MySElf” trip (usually you wouldn’t encounter bears or assassins, admittedly)

the makeup skills of whoever managed to make everyone’s skin look so weathered and worn in the later seasons especially

Ragnar pulling a ✨death prank✨ on all of Paris

Ivar’s iconic “you can’t kill me” moment

the Great Heathen Army™

Floki and Ivar (psychos unite!)

Björn really taking after his father with the “let’s ruin every good relationship I’ve ever had with a woman ever”

Hvitserk being haunted (surprisingly neat special effects, mad props)

Ivar adopting Igor

Ivar asking to leave the dinner table like a little kid when Prince Oleg decides to f*ck his dead wife’s lookalike on it (understandable though)

everyone agreeing that Lagertha’s funeral has to be the greatest one the world has ever seen

Björn and Ivar talking at the beach

Ingrid being like “well, my husband’s gone, let’s get another, oh now that one’s leaving, time to blind the sub and become queen”

the show ending with Floki and Ubbe sitting on the shore while the theme song softly plays in the background

bonus:

occasionally remembering that Ragnar and Lagertha just wanted to be fucking farmers

@thatsystemerror​

Part III - Sunday, October 1, 2017

I woke with a start as my stomach started to cave in due to the pressure of a fleshy pillar. It took a while for my eyes to adjust, but, when they did, I found the source of the weight - a finger, then an arm, then a neck, then… a whole person, perched on his toes, squatting right above me. No wonder my eyes took so long to see; he had been blocking out the light!

My brain adapted way quicker than my eyes, and it told me to run from the enormous boy, who looked a few years older than me (then again, doesn’t everyone look older than a “babyface?”). Somehow, the adrenaline pulsing throughout my body was able to pump my arms and legs - run, run, run! - under a, thankfully, empty stall. As I reached my destination, I discovered my other problem: I couldn’t breathe.

I crumpled to the ground, whimpering as I inhaled greedily for a few breaths, but none were received. My lungs weren’t adapting to the extremely low air pressure, or the molecules were too big for them. Maybe something else? I had no idea, for I was too busy panicking - the boy, Reese, had heaved my shrunken body into the air. How on God’s green Earth could this have happened?!

Soon, it was possible to breathe, and that was when my mind finally tried to comprehend the situation.

“Could this just be a dream?” I tried to convince myself, but to no avail.

A giant human - no, regular human, tiny, naked me. And to think I had ever complained about being short! This was a whole new level.

Reese had tried to come up with a nickname for me, which I despised. What I despised even more? He stuffed me into his cramped, stuffy pocket, and even dared to call me cute when I told him my real name!

“I swear to you, Rona- I mean, Reese, call me cute one more time! I dare you!” I thundered, but I was not prepared for what happened next…

“Owen?!” I heard Tommy’s voice.

I was lifted into the air once more, and I realized that I was back at the Dix Hills Diner, where I was greeted by a humongous, shocked, freckle-faced boy.

“Trust me, I’m as confused as you, dude,” I attempted to push his nosy nose from my bare belly, “But, c’mon, you’re way to close. Mind moving back?”

Tommy stalled for a moment before his head snapped back into reality, “Oh, yeah! Sorry, man. Can I just ask something?”

I nodded, feeling the back of my head, not because I was anxious, but because I felt something weird.

“How the fuck did this happen to you?”

I ignored the question, feeling the back of my head once again.

“Dude?” Tommy tilted his head.

“Reese’s Pieces, what’s wrong?” Reese pulled me back to him - I need to get used to this feeling.

My hand came back from my head, just like before I had blacked out, and it was coated red with blood.

“I-I’m bleeding,” I muttered, but Reese had already seen.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Reese was panicking, and wrapped me inside his pocket once more, “It’s gonna be okay, lil’ guy, just lemme-”

“Reese, I’m fine!” I countered, “It’s just a little blood!” “No, it’s not! Tell me when this hurts.”

“Wait, what?”

The pocket started to close in on me, and I felt myself being squished - he was trying to stop the blood flow, as if it were a bloody nose! I would’ve argued, but the pressure suddenly plugged over my face.

“AH!” I finally complained, and the pain stopped.

I felt the back of my head for the last time - dry. I’m not even going to question the science behind it - it worked! As if on cue, I heard the door to the diner jingle, followed by familiar voices.

“Tommy, Owen’s missing!” Zachary and Giovanni’s voices chimed together, but Michael remained silent.

I gave Reese a reassuring tap, and I guess he knew that it meant that I was okay, because he whipped me out from his pocket for the threesome to gape at. It was at that moment I realized how insignificant I was, how… small I was. Was I even human anymore, or was I an object, and thing, an it? Tears welled up in my eyes as I was tossed around in a slow-motion hot potato game. However, what was different with this group is that somebody cared.

“Guys, can ya’ be gentle with him? I mean, look at him, he’s obviously been through enough. He doesn’t need to be sick!” Michael scolded.

He was spot-on, and I started to sob. The realization of, not only my insignificance, but the fact that I might never be normal again, finally got to me. This time, sympathetic palms cradled my frame, and I already knew who it was. I couldn’t help but blush a little.

*spoilers ahead*

the soundtrack (where have you been livin’ if you don’t know that by now though?)

“he got 7 of them”

Reginald Hargreeves having a shit personality but a nice house

also getting an ape butler just because he could (and don’t get me started on the mom)

the fandom collectively agreeing on hating disliking s1 Luther

“dAD sEnt Me tO THe mOon”

Klaus Hargreeves

and his outfits

and him being dramatic in general

like when he basically killed himself Fresh Outta Rehab™

Diego being the embodiment of “I don’t wanna be here” at all times

Five being a 58 years old in a 13-year-old body (and behaving like it)

“the kid wants coffee, black”

“Run Boy Run” playing during a shot of a boy running is still *PoETiC cINeMA*

also “Dancin’ With Myself” while he’s fighting himself in season 2

“what a disturbing glance into that thing you call a brain”

“you know what your problem is?” “really hopin’ you’ll tell me”

Killer Dude x Donut Lady

*spoilers ahead*

Holy hell, this turned out so long. I decided to make a second post solely dedicated to quotes because I just could not fit that in here anymore. I guess it speaks for this show that I had enough material to make two... Anyways, enjoy!

pt.2 - The Best Quotes From OUTER BANKS

NOT the pace at which John B and Sarah’s relationship develops

noT AT ALL

sorry, done with the venting now

anyhow, the group being TIGHT ™ 

JJ making you feel one of three ways:

“oh heLLO, JJ” (mostly without a shirt scenes)

“ugh, JJ” (he brought the gun and/or is being a dick scenes)

“awww, JJ...” (you know which scenes)

Kie’s outfits

the golden hour lighting

the sets being actual houses

the beach/sea/surfer aesthetic

the van

The Chateau™

JJ’s rings

Pope’s contributions being overlooked, always

everyone’s motivation on this show: “How much?” “400 mill”

conclusion: that’s worth fucking shit up

Kie actually being really skilled in politely but determinedly shutting her guy friends down when “macking” on her

ya know, until the Pope pity party at the end...

cuz that’s what it felt like, for real

I actually thought JJ and Pope might have a thing going...

the soundtrack full of surf guitar music

the intro font always making it feel like some 90s Miami-set crime show is about to start

John B’s hair, I think?

I mean, I don’t know what you’re into...

I just feel like it’s a breath of fresh air on the boy’s-hairstyles-tv-landscape

getting major “Don’t Breathe” vibes from the blind old lady shooting up her house

I appreciate them trying to make her actually kinda creepy, because they usually fail miserably with "scary” elements on non horror stuff

I don’t know if you catch my drift, just thought it was well done...

Sarah getting stung by a jellyfish and everyone just like not really caring??

all of them thinking for even oNE SECOND that they weren’t gonna get screwed over with the gold

JJ looking like the lead of any 90s teen production at all times

JJ just effortlessly blending in with the waiters at the party

or that time when he fake cried on command to save his ass

but like every character has good acting skills (or simply is a good liar, I guess it’s a matter of philosophy)

JJ and Pope betting money on Kie and Sarah

Kie starting a fire to save everyone’s ass

the Vlad and Val thing (cheesy for sure, but adorbs nonetheless)

*spoilers ahead*

“are you in the band?” “what band?”

Nikki’s sleeve being on fire when he’s first introduced (tells you all you need to know about him)

Douglas Booth as Nikki Sixx

MGK as Tommy Lee

Iwan Rheon and Daniel Webber were great too

the soundtrack (I mean, it better be)

the HAIR

the bromance

the guyliner

the costumes

Nikki setting his old ID on fire (what’s with him and fire?) and the guy in the background looking between him and the receptionist like “is he allowed to do that??”

a collection of all my trying to be funny shitposts lists highlighting the most hilarious, most hearwarming or simply great things about all kinds of movies and shows

*frequently updated*

in order of appearance:

tbta “The Outsiders”

tbta “The Dirt”

tbta “The School of Rock”

tbta “Sons of Anarchy”

tbta “Outer Banks” (pt.1)

tbqf “Outer Banks” (pt.2)

tbta “VIKINGS”

Part IV - Monday, October 2, 2017

After taking him home with me last night, I couldn’t fall asleep. All I could think about was the fragile like in my hands. Each soft breath was followed by an even softer rising and falling of his tiny chest.

And I felt guilty.

I haven’t always been the person Owen loves - yes, it’s obvious. I used to be a bully to his face; now, I’m a bully behind his back.

“What is wrong with me?” I placed my forehead onto the table. I would’ve slammed if it wouldn’t wake up the shorter-than-usual shortie.

I don’t know how I feel about Owen; I want to be his friend, but he’s just so… dorky. Yet, somehow, it’s something that attracted me in the first place.

Who am I to be his “friend?”

“C’mon, faggot, show me whatcha’ got,” I sneered at my victim.

It had only been last year, but it felt like a lifetime ago. I was a different person then, but I can’t stop thinking about it. The date was November 2, 2016 - Owen’s birthday. I had ruined it. My stupid fourteen year-old mind had stepped over the line.

I pushed the midget against some dude’s ajar locker, practically spitting in the poor guy’s face. After the football game, he had tried to lecture the team on why not to drink alcohol (fair enough), but things got out of hand when he threatened to tell. THat’s what led to this. THe whole team was cheering me on as I went through his “personal” notebook, ripping out page after page and reading them out loud, much to his dismay.

“‘My parents have threatened to kick me out…’ Aww, got some family troubles, squirt?” Todd, one of my teammates, snickered.

Picking on some seventh grader is not something I’d do - but this particular seventh grader? Yes, yes, yes!

I ripped yet another page from the notebook, while Owen was sweating profoundly in that disgusting pink crop-top sweater (ew) and began to read it out loud.

“‘I can’t shake my feelings for…’”

I stopped.

“‘For…’”

Owen gave me a pleading gaze.

“Wait a minute, I think I read that wrong,” I nodded to Owen, “‘I can’t shake my deep, deep cravings for chocolate!’ Oh my God, who knew that a skinny little twerp like you could be such a fatty.”

I touched his belly, which barely had anything in it, and one of the football players for the junior high, Tommy, made a “boop” noise.

Why didn’t I read that name, you might ask?

Because it was mine.

In February, I asked for his forgiveness for being such a dick to him all the time, and he accepted. For some reason, though, he forgot I had ever seen that he liked me, and he didn’t even act awkward with me. He just talked to me.

I got more out of his friendship than I ever could with anyone else.

Then, his feelings for me were obvious. He playfully touched my shoulder to laugh sometimes, always leaned on me when we sat together, and always sweat when he was near me. Weird thing was, I didn’t even mind. I might’ve… loved him? I don’t know.

Just, every single time I see him, I’m ridden with guilt.

My teammates and other popular kids wondered why I hung out with the “fag.” Rather than telling the truth, I’d say that I was just pretending, that I was just gonna blackmail him later - stupid shit like that.

I don’t know how I feel. Do I love him?

Do I not?

Does he still like me?

After ranting to myself, I realized I had fallen asleep, and the bus was right outside! I ran downstairs, waving it on - I could walk to school, anyways. Everything started to come back to me, and I ran back upstairs to collect a rather frazzled-looking Owen. I must’ve dropped him when I jumped up!

“Oh, sorry, Owen! You alright?” I asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” he shook his head, blushing, “I just, uh, need clothes.”

I facepalmed. Where would I get tiny clothes? He was half a doll’s size, so I couldn’t give him Barbie crap… Unless I cut them in half…

“Eh, what the hell. It’s not like I’m gonna be seen by anyone else,” Owen shrugged as I stopped by the Barbie store at the mall before school.

“Um, actually, I think you still have to go,” I grimaced, and Owen started laughing!

“You’re friggin’ hilarious, man,” I heard him giggle from my pocket, “Me goin’ to school like this?”

“I mean, I could just take you home,” I suggested, and his eyes turned dark.

“NO,” he stated and fell silent (so did I, as I did not want to pursue the subject).

Following the trip to the store, I was able to fit Owen into some clothes, accidentally making his glittery pink torso into a crop-top, but he seemed to like it, so I guess it worked out for the best? He refused to stand in my palm, though, taking the pocket instead. This kid has some serious trust issues.

“Ugh, these khakis are so itchy,” the little one complained, tugging at his legs.

“Oh my God,” I giggled, “Stop making me laugh, dude.”

“Why’re you laughing?” he inquired, head tilting like a puppy’s.

“You’re, like, really cute when you’re this size, y’know?” I admitted, thinking that he’d be cute any size, “Like, can I try something?”

“L-Like what?” he was getting so flustered, literally hiding his head in his new clothes.

“Like this-”

I scooped him up gently from my pocket, giving a detailed look into his face. Every wisp of his ruffled hair, every dimple in his squishy cheeks, every line in his bright blue iris, every thing. I felt myself moving toward him, lips perched, and…

I stopped. Tears were welling up in my eyes - I didn’t deserve him. Me, the bully, getting something as special as Owen? After all that I’d done?

“I-I’m sorry,” I sobbed, placing him back in my pocket, “I didn’t mean t-”

“Mike, I, uh…” Owen began, “I kinda was looking forward to it.”

I ignored him for the rest of the day, keeping him in my locker for safety.