#task21

SOPHIE HATTER: I have always loved Sophie. From the moment I both read the book and watched the movie. She is dealing with her own insecurities and doubts. The story is HER story, about how she overcomes them and realizes she’s stronger than she ever realized by the end of it. In this roleplay, Bea has done a lovely job in bringing that struggle to the forefront and that is where I can relate. I have dealt with anxiety and my own i securities since I was a pretty young girl and have made it a point to get my shit together and work through them. I can relate to how hard it can be to come to terms with your own insecurities and embracing the wonderful things that make you who you are.

SHAGGY ROGERS: Ali has stated that all Shaggy really needs to be happy is good wi-fi and snacks.... same Shaggy. Same. Even more than that, Ali brings a gentleness to Shaggy, a tenderness towards other people that I sometimes feel was missed in regards to his character and that I not only adore but pray that I exude to people around me. Although he stays scared he is constantly going forth and conquering anyway. That is the kind of person I strive to be in every aspect of my life

“You good?”

Clint’s voice comes from behind. The couch creaks in protest as she shifts, raising her head to look at him through the darkness. “Yeah.” She breathed, willing her heart to slow and for her thoughts to recenter if it was at all possible. “I’m okay.” Clint chuckles softly. “That doesn’t sound too convincing.” She watched as he came closer, asking for permission to sit beside of her. She nodded. “You can talk to me, you know.” “I’m fine, Clint. I promise.” For a split second she sighs. Tears threaten to prick her face. She hates that she feels this way. It would be much easier if she could turn off her emotions. She closes her eyes as she felt his hand cradle her cheek and his calloused thumb wipes away the tears that did manage to fall.

“Do you ever feel like you made a mistake?”

“A mistake about?”

“You know what I’m talking about Barton.”

“No. You need to stop hiding.”

She raised an eyebrow as she looked at him. “I’m….not….hiding.”

“You are hiding. You don’t want to admit to yourself that what you are feeling is real. You can’t help who you love. It sucks but hiding won’t fix it and I refuse to let you sit around here and mope.”

She shook her head. “He deserves better……he deserves someone better.”

Clint stood up. “That is it. We are getting out of here and we are going to go drink. Now get your ass off this couch and into your room and change.”

She sat there and looked at him. She didn’t want to move. “And if I don’t?” Clint smirked. “If you don’t then I will call Steve myself and tell him where you are.” She glared at him. “You wouldn’t?” He shook his head. “Oh I would. Go get changed.”

She shook her head and then stood up. “Okay. All right. You don’t have to be such an ass. You’re lucky I like you.” He grinned. “We leave in 15 so hurry it up.” She didn’t want to go but she knew that he would make good on his promise. “Just don’t let me do anything stupid while we are out.” “I make no promises on that.” She shook her head and walked to her bedroom and closed the door. As much as she wanted to just run as far away as she possibly could she knew that Clint would find her and bring her back. She grabbed a pair of dark jeans and a black tank top. She quickly changed and looked at herself in the mirror. She didn’t even recognize herself. She put on just a little bit of makeup and then slipped a simple necklace around her neck. She put her boots on and then her leather jacket.

Shutting her door she shook her head as she walked back into the living room. “Now that is what I’m talking about. You don’t need to hide. It’s just like Budapest.” She’s hooked her head and laughed. “You and I remember Budapest very differently. Now let’s get out of here before I change my mind.” Clint laughed. “Oh no can do Im afraid. Get your ass in the truck before I carry you.” She shook her head as she walked out and got in the truck against her better judgement. She knew that Clint was only trying to distract her for a few hours if that was even possible.

She didn’t want anything fruity tonight, she hated that. She would much rather have a glass of wine or take shots of tequila or whiskey.  If she could forget just for the night she might be okay. She didn’t say much on the ride to whatever bar he was taking her too. It didn’t matter as long as they were no where near the compound.

Once they were inside the bar she felt like a familiarity or rather déjà vu but she shook it off. She smirked as Clint ordered their first round of shots. She didn’t want to think about him but she couldn’t help herself. No matter how much she drank she couldn’t get him off her mind. Shaking her head she tried her best to push him from her mind. Clint shook his head as he looked at her. “Be honest……what are you thinking about or should I say who?” He asked. “Nope…..we are not going to do this. I’m not going to do this. You can’t make me.” She took another shot and then ordered another.

*Hours Later*

She needed some air. She had way more to drink than she had anticipated. Maybe the fresh air would do some good. Either way she needed to really think before she did anything stupid. She knew that Clint was right and that she needed to maybe eventually call Steve and let him know that she was okay. The night air felt good. Against her better judgement she pulled out her phone. She had told Clint to not let her do anything stupid and she was about to do something incredibly stupid. She went through her contacts and found who she was looking for. Shaking her head she hit dial. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she listen to it ring. She almost dropped her phone when she heard, “Hello.”

“It’s me.” She blabbered quickly. She was standing close to the door of the bar but she started to walk a little back and forth. “Nicola?” “Who else could be me, Captain?” She asked, chuckling to herself. It felt like everything was starting to spin just a little bit. “Are you drunk or something?” His voice was husky and slow as if she had woken him up. “Did I wake you?” “No,” he said quickly. “Where are you?” “Oh, okay. Uh…that’s good that I didn’t wake you. Well…there may be the slightest chance that uhmmmm Clint brought me to a bar and there may be just the tiniest amount of drinking involved.” She waited for him to say something, but she could only hear his breath through the phone.

“Rogers. Stevie. Stevie. Steve. Captain.” She giggled slightly. She had way more than what she would have normally drank but she knew that Clint was just trying to make her not be so hard on herself. “Yeah,” he mumbled breathlessly, his voice was lower and raspier than before. She could tell that he was tired but she didn’t want to hang up the phone. “Why’d you call?” He asked. She pressed her lips together, leaning up against the outside wall. “Because I……” she wondered if she was doing the right thing in calling him. She heard him sigh which would lead to more questions.

“Because why?” He repeated the question only this time more serious. “I…I don’t know.” She felt her heart drop. “Where are you?” She rolled her eyes. “Uhmmmmmm Belowww Deeck I think is what it’s called. I don’t know….Clint was the one who brought me to this fucking….” She started laughing. “I know I know language I got it loud and clear Captain.” “Do not move. Stay where you are. I am coming to you.” “No no nooooooooooo Steve please you don’t have to do that….I’m im fine.” “I’m coming to you. Stay put. That is an order. I’ll be there in 5 minutes.” “5 minutes?” “You are not that far from the compound. Just stay there. Promise me.” “Fine.” “Just wait outside.” She sighed as she hung up the phone. Why would Clint have brought her so close to the compound for? She should of known better than to trust him but in his own way whether she was willing to admit it or not he was right. She didn’t need to hide but she needed to be honest with herself.

She put her phone in her back pocket. Hearing the door behind her open she turned around to see Clint. He walked over to her smiling. “I was wondering where you went to.” She didn’t say anything, instead she punched him as hard as she was able to. “What the hell was that for?” She smirked. “Oh I don’t know maybe because you brought me here…..that’s what 5 minutes away from the compound!” He shook his head. “Okay…..that might not have been the best idea but you know what??? I’m glad I brought you here. Maybe you will get that stick out of your ass.” She smirked as she slid her leather jacket off. “Don’t make me kick your ass….right here, right now.” “Keep dreaming…..you couldn’t kick my ass even if we were sober.” “Don’t….test me.” She went to punch him but she felt someone take her by the arm. “All right….that’s enough. You are coming with me.”

She relaxed a little. Clint was laughing. “Did you…..did you drunk dial Rogers?” Nicola shrugged. “I…..I may have. Why don’t you go say hi to that slut your tongue was down before I came outside?” She tried to get out of Steve’s grasp to get to Clint. “Why don’t you just admit to him that you like him?” “You stupid asshole.” She managed to get away from Steve for a minute and slapped Clint. “I hate you. You just had to go and open your big dumb mouth.” Steve put her leather jacket around her shoulders. “Come on. You are coming with me tonight. Clint can find his own way back to the compound.” She wasn’t about to argue with Steve at the moment. She just followed him. Occasionally leaning on him for support. He kept his hand on her back as they made their way to the compound.

The night air did nothing for her. “Exactly how much did you have to drink?” Steve asked as he got her inside and was leading her up the stairs. He made sure to stay close so she wouldn’t fall. “You know….I don’t exactly remember. There were a lot of shots….I sort of lost count.” She started laughing as she stopped for a moment. “Are you okay?” She nodded. “Mmmmmhmm yep the room is just spinning and feels a lot longer than it should be but I’m fine.” He tried to keep from laughing as he finally managed to get her inside of his room. “You know you have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen….I never noticed just how blue they were until that…party.”

“You are very drunk. Let’s get you to bed before you say or do anything you might regret.” She giggled. Eventually his gaze met hers and they looked into each other’s eyes for a little bit. It was almost like a staring contest but it was laced with a lot of tension that hadn’t been talked about before. “I’m….Im sorry. I’m not good at this….whatever this is.” “It’s okay. You can always call me if you need to.”, he mumbled and eventually was the first one to break eye contact. She took her leather jacket off her shoulders. She kept staring at him wondering why he gave a damn about her. His jaw was clenched and his brow was furrowed with concern. “Am I making you nervous, Captain?” She asked at first before then adding, “Is it though? This isn’t okay.”

“What?”

“You….you’re a good man and you deserve someone better….someone that’s not broken. Someone who….whoo doesn’t run when she should clearly stay, someone who is willing to admit that…..okay you’re handsome, and and sweet and so much more than I ever thought you were.”

Then came the silence. The silence between them felt thick. He stared at her as if searching for something to say. “I look at you and for the life of me….I don’t know why but when I look at you, all I want to do is….” She stopped herself from saying what was really playing in her mind. She had thought about what it would feel like. Not even her tipsy brain would allow her to say it. He took a step forward and arched his brow.

“Is what?”

“I- I….” She stuttered and looked away from his eyes and down to his lips. He looked straight into her eyes when she finally looked back up at him. She realized just how close he was to her. She felt her back against the bedroom door. “I’m going to do something……stupid. Just….just let me do it.” He went to say something but she raised up and kissed him, wrapping her hands around his neck. He kissed her back for a moment and then pulled away. “You need sleep. We will talk about this in the morning….when you are sober. I’ll get you a shirt.” A slew of Russian curse words was running through her head. She sighed as she made her way to his bed and sat on the edge.

She took her tank-top off and threw it in the floor as she waiting for him to come back with a shirt for her to wear. “Arms up.” He said in his Captain America voice which was the only way to get her to listen at his point. He had to help her with her boots and her pants. She was way too drunk to try to do it herself. She didn’t even fight him when he tucked her in. The next morning she woke up with a pounding headache. She groaned as the light hit her face. She turned over with her back facing the window. She spotted the aspirin and the glass of water sitting out for her which confused her because her drunk self wouldn’t necessarily take care of her hungover self. This could only mean that some one else helped her. She took the aspirin hoping that it would kick in to relieve her headache.

Everything was black and cold. The cold crept in slowly, almost overwhelming. However, before she could slip completely into the cold darkness, she felt something. Very faint, warm. It slowly moved through her body, slowly moving from one section of her body to the other.

Suddenly she felt a warmth and weight on her stomach and pressure against her back. She sucked in a quiet breath, her eyes slowly beginning to adjust to the light she was now seeing. Raising her hand slowly, she rested her hand against his. She bit her lip and looked up at him. “Ben.” She smiled softly, her eyes searching his.

She couldn’t believe what was happening. Ben was here. Ben was holding her. She took a deep breath and reached up to touch her hand to his cheek, just to make sure that he was actually there. Without thinking, some of the life force he’d given her she gave back to him, just in case. “Ben.” She said his name again, loving the way it sounded on her lips. She’d called him that before, but this time it was different.

Unable to help herself, she smiled widely then slipped her other hand to his neck. Smiling still, she leaned in and placed a kiss to his lips, her eyes closed and her hand still on his cheek. This was a moment she would remember forever. So many emotions flooded into the kiss. And they said everything neither of them could right now.

I love you.

The kiss had filled her with warmth from the top of her head down to her feet. That smile.. oh my gosh. She could definitely get used to seeing that smile on his face. When the kiss broke, Kenz smiled at him, then gasped in both confusion and horror as he slipped from her grasp to the cold ground.

“Ben!”

PEAR - favourite muse?

I have a muse I really miss from another rpg that is no longer with us. But her name was Karla, I used and Ana De Armas fc for her and she was a single mom from Mexico but was making things work and trying to go back to school. I loved playing her, and I have taken elements of her character and applied them to Blanca.  I am a Latina myself so I really love getting an opportunity to kind of explore my own experience in my characters. Also I’m all about under used and poc fc, I think the rpg community deserves some diversity. 

PEACH - least favourite muse?

I love her and I mean the only reason I say this is because she can be the most fickle muse and that is Ruby. I also have had a people misinterpret her in the past. She is just shy and guarded so when she comes across as rude it isn’t because she is evil. She just isn’t sure of people she doesn’t know well. 

APPLE - first muse?

Ever? I used to have an character named Dylan, I used an Elle Fanning FC. She was a sweetie, a human who wanted to become a fairy. I sometimes wonder what she would be up to now a days. 

BANANA - oldest muse?

Honestly I think Kit is my oldest muse, and she is only 102! 

ORANGE - youngest muse?

Dylan. 

TOMATO - least used muse?

Oooohhhh Sugar, she was here so briefly! I SHOULD HAVE USED HER MORE! Maybe someday I’ll get a unicorn....someday.

POTATO - most used muse?

I used Karla in probably 3 rpgs. 

EGGPLANT - most sexual muse?

Oh Kit, by a mile. I didn’t know she was as naughty as she is but then I got her here and was like AYE OH!!!!!

GRAPE - most innocent muse

Of my current muses, Devon. I don’t think she has even kissed anyone. 

ONION - most emotional muse?

Blanca, she has a temper. 

BROCCOLI - muse most likely to moan the wrong name?

I don’t think any of my girls would do that. They are pretty involved when they are with someone. 

CARROT - clumsiest muse?

Devon, just because she is so stiff sometimes. 

ASPARAGUS - strongest muse?

Ruby, she would slam you down if you pissed her off. 

TURNIP - most damaged muse?

Alexis, it is why she has such a hard time sharing her feelings and telling someone she loves them when we all know she does. 

SQUASH - a muse you’d date in real life?

I mean all of them, but I feel like I would have the best relationship with either Ruby or Alexis. 

PUMPKIN - a muse you’d hate in real life?

Alexis would probably frustrate me most. 

MELON - muse whos the most fun while drunk?

Kit, and knowing me and her I’d BET we would make out. 

LEMON - muse who would be the least fun at a party?

Ruby, people scare her. 

LIME - a fc you’re a sucker for?

Lili Reinhart, Vanessa Morgan, Ana De Armas, Barbie Ferrera, Halsey, Iskra Lawrence, Diane Guerrero, Helen Mirren. 

CHERRY - favourite pair of fcs to put together?

I like unusual pairings in general. I’m not super into face shipping or shipping your characters because they have been in a tv/show together. I feel like that is predictable. I am more interested in characters chemistry. 

CRANBERRY - number of muses?

In this rpg, I have 5. Over my lifetime? Oh gosh I don’t know how many! 

PEPPER - favourite plot for your favourite muse?

If you could bring back one person who would it be and why?

Probably Kurt Cobain. I don’t know anyone that’s ever died, except for Bambi’s friend - and I didn’t even know him.

Explain your relationship to your parents.

How long do you have? We used to get on great, we were the.. picturesque family. They asked me to travel Europe to ‘find myself’ before college, and when I finally did they were - and I quote - disgusted and utterly disappointed. All I get from them is Christmas and birthday cards, now.

Do you wear any jewlery?

Usually, yes. There’s a bracelet I haven’t taken off for six years, which I bought once I came to France.

What is your first memory?

Probably my fourth birthday. I had started kindergarten and invited a whole lot of classmates, but no one came.

Growing up what was your favorite toy?

My, uhm, books. I guess.

How old where you when you went on your first date?

When I was nineteen and in France - and it wasn’t even a date.

How old were you when your first got drunk?

I once stole my father’s licor and locked myself in the bathroom, because everyone said it was cool to get drunk - I was fifteen. But I got properly drunk when I was nineteen.

What is your biggest fear?

My first name.

What is in your refrigerator right now?

Milk that’s off, cheese, beer and cake.

What kinds of things are posted on your refrigerator?

I have a whole lot of pictures and magnets. That’s about it.

What is in the top of your closet?

…Bed sheets.

What is your current state of mind?

I’m out of cigarettes and too lazy to get up and buy some.

Which living person do you admire most?

A lot of living people suck. I couldn’t say just one.

How would you like to die?

With ruby red lips and porcelain skin. Young and beautiful.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

A hot piece of ass.

How do you deal with conflict/change?

I don’t. I just try and ignore it, usually.

The biggest lie you’ve ever told?

'Hello, it's a pleasure. My name is Babe.'

Religious views?

I don’t have any. It gives me a headache, really - don’t tell my mother I said that.

One wish?