your body is a wonderland

Well don't talk to just anyone, this isn't Candy Land, it's New York - just because it's Christmas doesn't mean everyone is jolly. I'll probably be at Bambi's place drinking wine by myself, since no one drinks at that place any more.

Well, sort of. They would solve crimes and be really fucking bad ass, you know? There were goths and geeks and all the cliques! Leather jackets go with everything, don't they? I mean, I've seen leather jackets with floral dresses and lingerie. They're just perfect. Oh God, I don't want to know. Ace? Ace is the one that has rock star hair, right? He's good looking. I know she is, Bambi is nothing without passion. Fuck, you'd be all over the news. Imagine your hair the same colour as your skin? Jersey Shore style?

So you basically went to St. Trinians? When I was a kid, I used to daydream about going to St. Trinians, because it looked so fucking awesome. I'd still go, too. Well leather jackets were in fashion for a while, everyone wore them. Bambi's ex? You're going to have to give me more than that, she's had more exes than Taylor Swift. Bambi may seem sweet at times, but not long after we met and I moved in with her, she made me sleep outside one night because I - may I say drunkenly - confused a picture of Bono for Morrissey. You're right. I can't imagine you gingers with orange skin.

My thoughts exactly. I do have relatives, I just don't have relatives that like me. Will you be spending Christmas with anyone, then?

Well, when I lived with my parents we would call our relatives on every phone in the house and when I lived in Paris, we'd drink a lot of red wine. It's really your choice.

I'm cold. After living in Paris for so long, I forgot what so much snow looks like. How's your Christmas?

My school was a tad modern - we had boys too, though there was only one nun in the whole school and she wasn't pleased about PDA. Well, there's nothing wrong with them, but there's nothing wrong with a leather jacket, either! Oh that's right, but don't say that in front of your sister, she's very sensitive about punk rock and all that crap. But it is! You're so pale, Faline, I'm surprised you don't melt alongside all the snow beneath my shoes.

Yeah, so did I - but I went to a Christian school the whole of my life, so I had no choice. I was quite into all that when I was a kid though, so I don't hold it against myself. Oh, come on! A relative of Bambi's has punk rock in their veins. One day, you have to let us bring you to a concert and dress you up - you'd look great in some Doc Martens. But the cold gets underneath your panties, Christ!

Oh don't worry, you're not the only one. There's about three quarters of New York following the same fashion.

I am one of those girls.. I even pair it with boots, but to be fair if I’m not in a dress or skirt there is a solid ninety percent chance I’m naked and I mean at least my calves are warm?

Jesus Faline, don't you get cold? Skirts are for night clubs and dresses are for funerals, that's where the line is drawn. You should invest in some leather jeans - they're even warm.

Yes, but to an extent - I mean, it's freezing out. There's snow, for God's sakes. I almost forgot how cold it gets around here.

But I agree, they're pretty cute. I haven't got a fireplace, so I put one over my heater. It's starting to scorch a little.