#taschlich

The first day (of two) of Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, begins tonight at sundown. In this picture, taken in 1945, a group of faithful assembles at the East River and the foot of Grand Street. They are following the ancient taschlich custom of casting bread (representing the sins of the previous year) on the water and starting life afresh with coming of the New Year.

you throw your bread into the lake, sincerely petitioning for making up with G-d and fellow man in this new year. Then a bunch of seagulls descend upon you, eating all your bread from the water. Then, the seagulls start flying away and shitting on you-

?

(Photo credit to Ellie S. Grossman.) 

For those who aren't cool like me, I'll inform you that it's currently Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year and the opening of the High Holidays. One of the major traditions of Rosh Hashanah is tashlich, the ritual casting out of sins by throwing bread into the water and emptying out our pockets.

(For those that are cooler than me they've already done so instead of going for a nap first and dallying until it's already dark to wander down to the pier to feed my sins to the seagulls. Oops.)

While trying to explain this to my colleagues I wandered across an amazing combo of 'tag yourself' and 'don't post with attribution' that I would like to reprint below in its entirety. 

Richard Israel's Crumb List

My crumb list has yielded a great deal of fun, both from writing it and the suggestions I have gotten from others. It has also been quite aggravating. I had been working on the piece before Rosh Hashanah, off and on for the past several years, during those times I couldn't stand working on a drashah. I had assumed that I would get it just right after a few more years and would publish it. That all changed when someone leaked it from private emailing, sent it to a friend, and the friend sent it to the world. It then began appearing on every known Jewish net list either without attribution or with inaccurate attribution. I was in danger of losing all connection with the piece, but trying to get it back was like trying to return feathers to a torn cushion in a high wind.

Following the practice of our ancestors who wrote their names into liturgical poems (which I now understand for the first time) I spelled my name into the list (the last 13 entries from "Rearing children..." on). Should have done it a long time ago. Now let people mail it out without attribution and claim it! It appeared in Sh'ma last Purim so at least at a formal level, I have rights to it.

The list was certainly not intended to be an exercise in earnestness, but it was also more than a joke. I hoped that it would be a light spirited way to get people to think about Tashlich. (Yes, even sins can be funny.) I can't be sure that this was what made the difference, but after I read it at services more people turned up at our local pond than we have ever seen before. I think that is probably a good thing. I am less sure that it was good for the fish.

There was also the goose problem. Signs were posted saying firmly, "Do not feed the Canada geese, they will forget that they are supposed to migrate."

"But officer, we are not feeding the geese. They are just taking advantage of our sins." It doesn't sound very convincing. Luckily, we didn't get caught.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tashlich Supplement: (c) 1997 Richard J Israel

Taking a few crumbs to Tashlich from whatever old bread is in the house lacks subtlety, nuance and religious sensitivity. I would suggest that we can do better. Instead:

For ordinary sins, use - White Bread For exotic sins - French Bread For particularly dark sins - Pumpernickel For complex sins - Multi-grain For twisted sins - Pretzels For tasteless sins - Rice Cakes For sins of indecision - Waffles For sins committed in haste - Matzah For sins committed in less than eighteen minutes - Shmurah Matzah For sins of chutzpah - Fresh Bread For substance abuse/marijuana - Stoned Wheat For substance abuse/heavy drugs - Poppy Seed For arson - Toast For timidity - Milk Toast For high-handedness - Napoleons For being sulky - Sourdough For silliness - Nut Bread For not giving full value - Short bread For jingoism - Yankee Doodles For telling bad jokes - Corn Bread For being money-hungry - Enriched Bread or Raw Dough For telling small lies - Fudge For war-mongering - Kaiser Rolls For promiscuity - Hot Buns For racism - Crackers For sophisticated racism - Ritz Crackers For being holier-than-thou - Bagels For unfairly up-braiding others - Challah For provocative dressing - Wonton Wrappers For snobbery - Upper Crusts For indecent photography - Cheese Cake For trashing the environment - Dumplings For the sin of laziness - Any Very Long Loaf For being hyper-critical - Pan Cakes For political skullduggery - Bismarcks For over-eating - Stuffing Bread or Bulkie Rolls For gambling - Fortune Cookies For pride - Puff Pastry For cheating - Bread made with Nutrasweet and Olestra For being snappish - Ginger Bread For dropping in without calling beforehand - Popovers For trying to improve everyone within sight -Angel Food Cake For being up-tight and irritable - High Fiber or Bran Muffins For sycophancy - Brownies For rearing children incompetently - Raisin Bread For immodest behavior - Tarts For causing injury or damage to others - Tortes For hardening our hearts - Jelly doughnuts For abrasiveness - Grits For recurring slip ups - Banana Bread For davening off tune - Flat Bread For impetuosity - Quick Bread For silliness - Nut Bread For risking one's life unnecessarily - Hero Bread For auto theft - Caraway For excessive use of irony - Rye Bread For larceny (especially of copyright material) - Stollen etc.,etc.

Remember, you don't have to show your crumbs to anyone.