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Too tall :-( ?
I woke up wondering if there are any other trans women who are 6′5″. Surely there must be? I posted the question on IG, wonder if I’ll get a response? But I was inspired to take this picture of my looong legs. I know I’ll tower over most men, and while some may find that appealing it makes me nervous!
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First step...
I began to experiment with photos of my face. What might I look like as a woman? And, I was astonished! I loved it! For the first time in my life, I loved the face looking back at me! And I wanted more. For the record, these are the faces I’m hoping to have. For now, I’m closer to the face in the next post...
...But this is closer to me, now.
I would like to think that someday I might be able to achieve the beautiful face of my previous post! But, for now, this is closer to the real me. And even this is gonna take a lot of work. But I absolutely love this face, I see the real me for the first time and it’s very, very exciting!
Becoming Rachel
It’s awfully late in life to be discovering this, but I realized that I am a woman, regardless of the body I inhabit. I don’t know where this will go, how I’ll present myself, or how the world will perceive me, but I always have been and always will be a woman.
But I’m fortunate, in that I can be deliberate in how I go about becoming visible. I very much wanted a new name, and it didn’t take long to settle on Rachel. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I was inspired by the character in Blade Runner (it seems kind of gauche to name yourself from a movie)! But I had always thought she was the epitome of beauty, intelligence, and sophistication, and I think the name is beautiful. As soon as I thought of it in connection with myself, I loved it and it fit. I wanted a new last name too, signifying a radical new direction for my life but rooted in my personal history. Stewart is the maiden name of my maternal grandmother. And so, I am Rachel Stewart.
I have a looong way to go. Thus far, Rachel lives mostly online. Being Rachel at home is mostly dress up. Many conversations to be had with my S.O. No clue how to deal with work. It’s not a good time to be looking for medical advice. I need sooooo much help with makeup. And where am I gonna find clothes that fit my 6′5″ frame? But I love being Rachel. LOVE IT.
