#taeyong reader insert

▶ Ambience

The sea of neon purples, pinks, and blues drowned out whatever background activity filled the hustling life of the city. Light harshly touches the exterior of small shops endlessly lining the streets. Though full of living people, it always seemed a bit lonely. Everyone for themselves as it had been before the disaster happened, before life became even harder and resources scarce. Half the world is gone, but for whatever reason, humans continue to persevere. This strength is a unique feat, but it comes with consequences. With the remaining 3 billion people left on Earth, only the Eurasian continent remains the only habitable land thus forcing people to squeeze in tightly. It’s like this everywhere-- tiny housing, famines, and the overgrowing hunger to hold power and wealth much as we did before. The rich stay rich, the poor stay poor.

Life’s tough in Neostone. With hundreds of thousands of people and little food, restaurants struggle to keep open with enough to sell. Fresh water sources and land were replaced with tall housing structures and corporate buildings. Most have to work two or more jobs. Education is non-existent and relies on parents teaching kids different skills through child labor. Further industrialization in the little space the planet has left led to bouts of acid rain from overworked factories. The world’s leaders morph into the same guise: ties stained with blood, suits the product of cheap labor showed off status, and their white-gloved hands tightly gripped heavy silver suitcases. Corruption still plagues the broken systems that hang over society, sustained from before the disaster happened. It seems like we’ll never learn.

Sure, it’s difficult to get by day to day without much, yet the communities outside the wealthy rich businesses were tight-knit. Everyone knows each other’s names. People often trade food scraps for little luxuries to feel any ounce of happiness. Friends hang out near street food vendors where most people are, begging for any kind of calorie. While life in Neostone is tough, the citizens depend on each other for care, not anyone from above. 

I don’t think of it much-- how different life would be if the disaster didn’t happen, if the world had never been touched by so much chaos. I knew it’d be the same, that I’d end up still struggling to get from morning to morning. Even with the big drop in population, we live as sardines squished together under a layer of plastic that suffocates us. Nothing has changed. I lost everything.

Though the neons felt like home and they were all I’ve known for the past couple of years, I do remember who I was before this all went downhill. Fresh in college with a mind set on (major(s)/minor(s)), and although uncertain of the future, I was ready to break free from family and understand what it means to live a good life. Debt would hit me hard on my head but I was certain to find ways to pay it off without burdening others. Between jobs and school, I felt like there was a purpose for my movement, for my existence, to be a small gear of a clockwork world. For three years, I managed to get stuff done and become my own separate identity. I never felt more myself for the longest time. One more year to go, I said to myself as my third year comes to a close. But fourth year never came. It happened. The start of summer into my last year in college was the best time I’ve had in my life. During an internship in Japan, I’d gotten a handle of how it was in the real world as part of the workforce. A month into the most enjoyable moments of my life came the disaster.

▶ Ambience, Ambience

I watched the television screens throughout the subway, making my way to my 9am train when the static and distortions of color accompanied the shaking ground beneath me. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing as the news shifted to an emergency alert. All of a sudden, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, building collapses, and tsunamis were destroying the western hemisphere. The disaster was inexplicable, the most spontaneous event in the history of Earth. I hid in the nearest shelter in Tokyo as realization hit how horrifying everything was. Buildings toppling left and right, people being crushed beneath the debris, splatters of fresh red on the broken bits of glass and metal heaps. That was a day of absolute terror. Within twenty-four hours, half the world was gone. My heart sank as the disasters settled throughout the world, and the news focused on the western hemisphere where I had lived most of my life. That part of the world was gone. My family and college friends were gone. 

And I was left alone in Japan.

But the world didn’t change. The same evil corporate heads enforced the same evil policies and practices. The same tired faces dragged their tired bodies until no end just to, at the bare minimum, survive. No matter what form the world took, this was our fate until we went extinct. The only thing that changed perhaps was how many of us were kept in that system, and that the system favoring the wealthy became stronger. So the cycle continues.

▶ Ambience

With the scraps of money I had left on my name and picking up little jobs, I was able to get into a micro apartment. The government was eager to take advantage of the situation and make just enough housing to keep people happy and off the streets, but also enough to ensure some people couldn’t get out of the vicious system so labor was cheap. My space is dingy at best and quite small, but it’s all the comfort I have. Not a day passes where I’m not grateful for a private place to sleep, do business, and let myself feel at ease. Others aren’t so lucky, sleeping behind their food and merchandise stalls or in the nooks and crannies of back alleys. Weeks passed into months where my body ached from overwork, the same for the people I’ve been surrounded with and worked alongside. It’s only been two years since everyone had to rebuild what’s been lost, but it looked only slightly different in Neostone where Tokyo had once been. Only the mega cities were somewhat unscathed by the disaster, and businesses collectively chipped in to remodel them. Rural and suburban areas were either flooded or full of toxic waste.

People from all races and backgrounds who survived into the aftermath of the disaster poured into the cities. I was kindly taken into the dangerous but welcoming community of downtown Neostone, where cooking and selling food in addition to helping at clinic became my new life. At the clinic, I met someone I familiarized myself with to be comfortable and close enough. Having someone around lifted up my motivation. Going by Lucas, a name he adopted to fit in with the rest of downtown Neostone, he worked assiduously the same shifts as me at Pearl Park Clinic. Besides weekends, Lucas and I leave for work together as he lives just a few rooms down in the complex. While working at the clinic down on East Row, he comes to visit for a bite at the street food stall that keeps me busy half the week. Throughout getting to know him within two years, he revealed he also lost family he was close with-- a younger brother and sister who by the sound of his stories were needy brats that he loved so much. It hurts to know they’re gone like my friends are. I was glad I could relate to him and also be someone to lean on. On a roller-coaster of life’s tests, Lucas and I know we have each other’s back.

▶ Ambience

Today was like most days, another Friday morning. The green flash of LED at 7:00am with a loud beeping, a quick splash of cold water against my face, clean clothes, and a quick bite of fruit. The same mindless routine guides me out of the door of the room and down the hall. From my room, 716, to Lucas’s room, 718, was only a few meters away thanks to the tiny size of rooms. I knock once, twice, then thrice, but no reply. Strange. I’m used to Lucas whipping the door wide open at the slightest sound of my footsteps to poke his head out and greet me loudly. Should I knock again? Call him? My hand gravitated towards the doorknob, uncertain if we’re on the kind of terms where I can barge in whenever. “Lucas,” I decide to start softly, “I’m here now, we can leave for the clinic.” No reply. Maybe I’ll text him. Unlocking my phone, a smile cracked on my face as a photo of Lucas and I hanging out with some other friends posed in front of our favorite ice cream shop flashed across the screen. No red numbered badge on the messaging app. Today feels a little bit unusual. Typically, he texts when he needs help or won’t be at work. Inhaling in, I choose to try the knob in which a turn and a push of the door unveils the dark, musky room. A room with no Lucas. Noticing the tension in my face and shoulders, I relax them and try not to think of anything bad that could happen to him. Maybe he needed to stop somewhere before going to work. Maybe he’s just out to get groceries and whatnot. Maybe he’s just busy doing something else. I trust he’ll get back to me soon, but the weird pit in my stomach bugged my thoughts.

Down the long winding halls, unlocking my phone seemed all I could do, the worry taking over. My pace quickened. It’s 8:00am, the clinic starts up at 9:00am. It’s a long walk through a rather sketchy part of downtown, but it's one I’ve mastered throughout the couple of years and certainly made friends in. Reaching the staircase, my breath was noticeably shallower. This was always the worst part. It took much time and energy just to get to the first floor. Upon stepping into the lobby, I swiftly pick up an umbrella from the community box set near the entrance and begin my path out. The clerk at the counter peaks over his rather raunchy motorcycle magazine, riddled with messy yellow text, and he subtly waves at me. I send the gesture back, taking my leave from the complex. Rain besets Neostone often, the overcast weather permitting low fog and grey clouds to lurk the bubble that is downtown. Chatter and noise blend together from all sides with the rushing waters eagerly greeting storm drains and early risers setting up their stores. In comparison to the staircase, the lengthy walk to the clinic is always a breeze, and it helps calm the nerves as I ready myself for a busier pace of day. Every five minutes, I unlocked my phone again to see if Lucas had contacted me. Still no sign of him.

▶ Ambience

After what seems like the longest walk of my life, some staff of the community medical clinic greet me and provide a list of my duties right away. 9:00am right on the dot. I take in what needs to get done, reading off the slightly crumpled paper between my fingers. Towel laundry… Disinfect beds in the North Wing… Prepare a warm epsom salt bath for patients in the East Wing… Always busy on Fridays when the work week is over and people live out their less-than-safe life decisions. Less work, more injuries, and more patients. A voice sharply interrupts, “Hey! Where’s Lucas? You two always arrive here together.” My heart sank. So he isn’t at work. Where could that man possibly be?

Tension grows but a sigh leaves my chest as I formulate some sort of response to the nurse, “He might be sick, I’m not sure where he went. Usually he tells me, but I’m sure he has his reasons.” The lady nodded and clicked her tongue as if irritated. A pause before I ask her, “Why, are we short-staffed today?” She gives a vexed nod again, taking her leave as another staff member urges her towards a patient. Stupid question. We always are understaffed. Located on the intersection of Bear Walk and Oak Lane as suspension railways weave between buildings, Pearl Park Medical Clinic threw itself into one of downtown’s busiest and most dangerous areas. Crimes being committed everyday that send people into the clinic, drunkards finding their way through the doors to spew anger uncalled for against the staff, and the homeless just asking for a pillow or blanket while they sleep outside as they’re reminded of the cold, hard pavement soaked with rain. Of course, we must treat everyone’s needs… and wants in some cases. Only a couple dozen of us work the two-floored piece of the tall establishment which also houses struggling law firms, compact grocery stores, beauty salons, and wireless carriers. This place is a mini mall, but not for the faint-of-heart mall goers. Murder, sabotage, and sickness run rampant. However, it’s the place Lucas and I call home. From Tuesday to Friday, from 9:00am to 8:00pm, my hands pruned from washing equipment and fabric constantly, legs moved to and from wing to wing to prepare stations, mind boggled by the surprising sights of Neostone’s everyday life. The dirty white walls, gowns, and noise make me feel rejuvenation each time I clock in for shifts. Home. A place of belonging. Everyone accepted me in, even as a seemingly insignificant part of the operation. For Lucas, he tells me so often as if I forget easily, it’s a dream come half true.

Lucas aspired to be a doctor. It was his lifelong desire to help others, fascinated by how many times the human body tested the limits and broke them, and how he could save someone’s life. That was his purpose. Unfortunately, he fell into the same boat as I did, not being able to finish college because of the disaster. As per hiring policy, Pearl Park requires employees to be degree holders in biology, chemistry, biochemistry, or any other related field. Lucas was studying biochemistry with a neuroscience minor. Beyond impressive were his grades by what Lucas boasts to me, though I can’t confirm since the disaster destroyed his documents. In his third year, he already started planning his senior capstone project with research on the nervous system of several types of animals. We bonded over doing labs, the silliest or most dreadful courses we sat through, and how the university dining food sucked and ripped us all off. But it was a waste. In this new society, formal higher education is not important. Some schooling still persists, but they’re limited to small, dusty, singular classrooms led by underpaid teachers. Families tend to force children into work as it’s deemed more beneficial in learning practical home economics rather than mathematical theories, ethics, physical sciences, and so much more. The mindset of the remaining world focused on survival versus getting jobs of higher pay and better conditions. No one could blame us when authority breaks and the top 1% fully turn their back on you. Despite being turned down for medical practice, Lucas still wholeheartedly accepted the situation and embraced helping out in the clinic. Here and there with a bit of discreteness, Lucas does patch up some patients with bandage, disinfect cuts, and give advice for those with physical pain. Might I add, he’s quite popular with the patients as well, handsome and charming as he is. I’ll admit to it, I’m jealous of how he lifts everyone up in the toughest hours. Shortly after he joined, my arrival a week later brought him joy knowing I was stuck in the same sticky situation he was in. His passion could be seen a mile away. On the other hand, I just needed this job to keep myself afloat like everyone else.

I snap back to reality when one of the doctors, Dr. Lee who made a beeline towards one of the stations, bumped my side. Asshole, I think to myself. He’s head of the Pearl Park operation, so I don’t feel the desire to cause trouble by reprimanding him. This job allows me to hang onto my existence and sanity with my apartment, I couldn’t afford to lose it. His voice booms suddenly, startling nearby staff, “Is Lucas not here? I need him to help.” His voice trails off and erupts again, “With surgery preparation on Monday,” he swivels his head to one of the lead nurses, “We’re doing a skin graft for a severely burned person.” Despite the cold aura, his face contorted with concern and urgency. The patients put complete faith into him as he’s been a well-known medical practitioner since before the disaster. My imagination briefly ponders the severity of the injury as if I haven’t seen my fair share of nasty burn wounds. Shoulders shudder for a moment, and then I begin towards the North Wing where my first duty awaits.

▶ Ambience

Phew. That might’ve been the longest shift of my life. All day, the image of Lucas constantly itched at the back of my mind. It was difficult to focus, but I managed to get through the hours until 8:00pm. With my feet aching from exhaustion and a slight headache from lack of food or water, I decide to pay a visit to my other favorite place: East Row’s finest Chinese street food, Electric Egg. In my innermost thoughts, I’d hope to see Lucas there, munching away on tea eggs. That was his go-to snack after shifts at the clinic. Being on your feet all day does quite a bit of damage and leaves the stomach to growl, to fight for a delicious energy replenishment. When I arrive, one of my coworkers greets me cheerfully, shouting and waving my name as I draw closer, much to my embarrassment. “Sicheng,” my voice laced with laughter, “how’s business!” Our most common exchange, with the most common reply. With a hardy laugh, he shoots back, “The everyday thing, you know. Slow.” Sicheng’s smile invites me towards the side of the stall as he prepares what he knows are my regular dishes of choice. “Xi’an pancake and sesame tang yuan, coming right up!” As if on cue, my stomach beams in excitement and I lay my hand on it to feel the grumble, making Sicheng to laugh. “How’s work by the way, and where’s Lucas? I have his tea eggs already here.” I glanced to the side of the cart Sicheng worked away at, and indeed Lucas’s tea eggs sat prettily in a mug, waiting to be eaten.

I sigh, turning Sicheng’s grin into a straight line. He’s observant and knows how to read the room well. After a pause to gather myself, I sit down on a stool facing Sicheng and begin to tell him my worries. “I’m not sure if maybe I’m overthinking this, but Lucas always tells me if he’s not feeling well enough to work or go out somewhere. But he was gone this morning, he wasn’t in his room when I left for the clinic. He didn’t show up to the shift, and so many bad things could’ve happened, especially in the area we’re in. I’ve been checking my phone the entire day, but I’ve gotten no resp--”

“My tea eggs! You’re the best Sicheng, I really needed this after a long day, oh my god. You guys have no idea, my belly’s been howling!”

I froze. I know that voice too damn well. Anger immediately boiled within me, and it burst like the hot oil that hits Sicheng’s arms as he cooked. “You. Piece. Of. Shit,” I whipped my entire self around to face the tall man who unsurprisingly turned out to be Lucas with his disheveled hair framing his stupid little face. “Did you not see your call log? It’s just me, me, me, me, me, and oh guess who… me!” The tone in my words frightened even me, even more so realizing both Lucas and Sicheng’s widened eyes. I earned some dirty looks from customers as well. Nevertheless, I was pissed.

Lucas’s heightened shoulders steadily fall. “Hey, I’m sorry… Something really urgent came up, and it’s very personal to me. I hope you understand. I should’ve told you as soon as it came up.” His jaw clenches, his fists tightening their grip against the counter as he sternly looks at me across the food stall. I shake my head and roll my eyes, gaining a scolding expression from Sicheng who’s confusion was written all over his face. Deep within me, I know Lucas is sincere.

I start back up, loosening my voice to become gentle, “Eat your tea eggs, please. They’re getting cold and Sicheng prepared them for you early.” Silence followed, then the chewing noises from Lucas hungrily devouring his food. Maybe today was a hard day by the looks of it. Lucas took care of his appearance, so it was a shock to see him in a seemingly vulnerable state. His eye bags seem bulging and darkened, a sign of a sleepless night. Unsure of what to think, I let go of my displeasure and chip away at my pancake and rice balls. After satisfying our hunger, Lucas and I bid Sicheng a goodbye and head back to our apartment complex. The walk is painfully awkward.

▶ Ambience

This feeling is nice. To have Lucas back as we go through our nightly routine of washing our faces and brushing our teeth in a tiny community bathroom. Our mannerisms seem slightly less stiff, and though minimal, it takes a huge weight off my shoulders. He’s back and I feel secure again. But he doesn’t bring up anything about earlier. I’m about to comment on his long-sleeved shirt as he’s the biggest heat anti in the world, refusing to wear anything that isn’t a muscle tee. But the rough emotions rattled us both, so I drop it from my list of questions to ask. We get ready for bed in silence, only starting to discuss things when we finish up and plop on the floor of my apartment. I tried to figure out if I was uncomfortable from the cold floor or for the conversation that might unfold. Since Lucas has been excruciatingly quiet, I take the initiative, “I sent so many messages and calls today. Do you know how worried I was?” Disappointment heavily coat my concerns. “This isn’t like you, I was seriously going to lose my mind. Please… can you tell me what’s going on?”

It pains me to see him looking like he’s kicked down again from having an already bad day, but I needed answers. He’s the person I trust the most in the life we have now. His chest inflated and quickly deflated. “I’m about to show you something. It might freak you out.” He tugs at the ribbed cuff of his left sleeve. A tattoo? Perhaps a little smiley face or some unconventional design placed oddly on his arm that he wanted to cover since we work at a clinic? Though tattoos are normalized on staff... Or an injury? Whatever it is, I just want to know whatever he’s hiding. “Promise me you won’t make a big commotion, I will explain.”

Without much thinking, I grow irritated at him for dragging this out, so I reach for the end of his shirt and pull it up quickly, unveiling the truth. My body and mind go rigid at the sight, unable to process whatever this… contraption was. “Lucas… what the hell is this,” I ask, alarmed, taking in the faintly glowing circuits and tiny sparks of blue electricity lighting up and down tubes that poke in and out of the machinery. From his shoulder down to his fingers, metals and screws and wires replace his flesh. After a long minute of examination and curiosity, I turn my attention back to Lucas’s face which expressed great worry, fear, and uncertainty. “Is this the reason you were gone today?” He gently shook my hand off and swiftly covered his arm with his shirt again. With a dejected look, he takes his eyes off mine and pins them on the dusty floorboards. His arm is no longer human.

⠀

▶ Ambience

⠀

9am again on Monday morning, the usual routine and the usual walk, but thankfully alongside Lucas this time. Though not as bustling as it is on Friday nights, the clinic is up on its feet, ready to take in an influx of patients. First thing in the morning after clocking in for the shift and prepping some equipment for the nurses, I check to see where Taeyong might be hanging around. Lo and behold, he’s already been moving hurriedly between wings tending to patients who have been admitted overnight, many for burn wounds from a big fire in one of the cell phone stores at the other side of the building. Nurses in low voices chat about what happened, though I don’t feel the desire to butt in and join the conversations. The weekend was tiresome, and I didn’t want to start my week with more exhausting things than I needed to. For a moment, Taeyong eyes me while preparing a syringe with a pale yellow liquid. It’s justifiable that I can’t look at him the same at work, right? He’s got my best friend and me wrapped around his finger. I tell myself to try to be professional at work, but the icky feelings pop up whenever I see or think about him. That split second of eye contact sends me away, walking over to the receptionist’s desk to ask for more duties until I feel a tug at my scrub. “Dr. Taeyong wants us in Meeting Room 3 in half an hour,” Lucas starts. The serious expression on his face turns into a grand smile as he says, “and he’s got donuts! The really fancy brand from uptown apparently.” I breathe out a long sigh, though a donut sounds good to my stomach right now which is close to empty. My typical breakfast consists of an apple or orange and no more than that. As if on cue, the lions in my stomach grumble. Nodding my head as confirmation, he and I swiftly work on spraying the rooms with a quat disinfectant and wiping down surfaces. 

Time’s up, I say to myself looking at the chunky clock fixed on the wall behind the front desk. Lucas and I give each other a fist bump and start towards the meeting room. When we arrive, the door is ajar and the two of us slip inside. As Taeyong promised Lucas, on the table lies a box of donuts intricately designed with fancy yet hard-to-read lettering. Taeyong sits across from us, hunched over a few documents, a small case to his left. “Close the door, please,” he asks and beckons us to sit down. Lucas gives me a reassuring look, closing the door behind us and guides us to our seats. Without another thought, he grabs two donuts, one for himself and one for me. He remembers my favorite flavor, and I happily accept it. “Glad to see you’re enjoying the donuts. Now that the three of us are here, let me show you this.” Taeyong rests his chin in his palm, the other hand sliding a document over to our side of the table. Lucas and I lean over  to see the tiny print on the paper. It seems to be a list of tools I recognize instantly. Medical equipment? Scalpel. Vital sign monitor. Centrifuge. Why does he need a centrifuge? Twenty items. I wonder what he’s scheming. Taeyong laughs and I shoot him a glare. I look at Lucas and realize that he and I just gave the same face. “Anyways,” he clears his throat, “I need you two to find all of these things by the end of today. But here’s the catch. You cannot gather them all up at once. Space it out, leave it in my office behind my desk.” He peers over our shoulders as if to check nobody would hear his next words. “If you do that, suspicion will be raised. Remember, this is a tiny clinic and we don’t have much.” Then why steal stuff if it’s important to keep up with the patients? This plan doesn’t make sense to me, but it appears I have to comply.

“So you’re saying that I,” I pause to look at Lucas and correct myself, “we have to go on a scavenger hunt throughout the day, on top of our already tiring work?” A loud scoff escapes my mouth, maybe louder than I thought since Lucas nudged me. But I don’t care, I will air out my opinions. “I’m just a messenger. Why can’t you do this yourself? Plus Lucas shouldn’t have to do it since you’re literally experimenting on him.” Crossing my arms and leaning more forward, I stare down Taeyong who seems to shrink away.

“I know I’m asking for you two to do more than you probably bargained for. But you realize… I’m one of the very few licensed practitioners, right? Most of the others are merely college degree holders.” Those words sting as they remind me that I haven’t finished, same with Lucas whose shoulders I noticed droop at his statement. “Plus, if I do this by myself, the potential for suspicion raises. I need you two.” I rub at my forehead. He makes valid points, annoyingly. Now isn’t the time to be selfish, especially with Lucas and a possible promotion at stake. Looking at it from a broader perspective, I’d be putting my own feelings over the clinic’s as well as patients’ well-being. I’m not going to let those emotions rule over me. Taking Taeyong away from his work here would make others suffer, a scenario that would only lead downhill into chaos.

Lucas finally chimes in, “We’ll get it done! Won’t we?” He looks at me with those damned puppy eyes he does whenever he wants me to be nicer. After an eye roll and a light punch to his shoulder, I agree to take on the mission. Lucas gives me a reassuring pat on the shoulder and pushes himself off the chair. “We should get started.” He stuffs his mouth with another donut and grabs another one of my favorites and urges me to get up. “Let’s make this into a competition!” he excitedly suggests. I don’t think I can turn down a good opportunity to play games, especially since shifts feel so long and tedious. I nod, looking at Taeyong to see if anything else needed to be said. The doctor simply readjusts the glasses on his face and shoos us away. Lucas and I turn and leave the room.

As we leave through the door, I slightly turn to him with a hushed “Also,” I whisper over to Lucas who’s already in a giggle fit, “you’re going down!” With that, we tend to our duties for the day, grabbing things on the way out of rooms we work in, and putting them in the designated area for Taeyong to collect. We keep a mental tally throughout the day, and I’m winning-- or so I thought. Lucas ends up winning the scavenger hunt, finding eleven items. I found nine. The prize? The rest of the donuts at the end of shift, which is a bummer. Though Taeyong, Lucas, and I are heading over to Electric Egg, my stomach growled embarrassingly loud while Lucas snacked on the extra fancy donuts. Shifts at Pearl Park drain you, but they always made trips to Electric Egg much more rewarding.

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▶ Ambience

⠀

We arrive where Sicheng diligently works away at the grill, skewering bits of chicken onto kabob sticks while flames wildly dance beneath the assortment of meats. After Lucas and I hop out of the car, Taeyong drives it down a street to park, uneasy about where the food stalls are for fear of getting hijacked. Three of us place our orders, and Sicheng makes his own food to accompany us for a chat. Now a party of four, we sit at a round table and Lucas introduces Taeyong. “This is Dr. Lee, he’s the coolest doctor at Pearl Park! Smart and handsome guy,” he says, his elbow playfully nudging Taeyong’s arm. The doctor simply sits there and inhales his food, a sight I did not expect from him. But he must be hungry, having the top practicing position in the clinic. Thinking about the things he has seen working there must be nauseating at times, though he’s probably used to it. Sicheng nods, introduces himself as the Electric Egg man, ‘Eggman’ for short, and holds out his hand for the doctor to shake, maybe too unabashedly as the neon lights hovering over us highlight the shiny grease on Sicheng’s hand. Taeyong, who notices the slimy-looking texture, pinches his pointer finger and thumb around one of Sicheng’s fingers. They shake, timidly, and Sicheng lets out a laugh while Lucas hands Taeyong a napkin. The doctor roughly wipes the food oils off his hand. For whatever nostalgia I’m experiencing, this moment feels nice. Two friends, an acquaintance (or boss, whatever he may think I call him), and myself. Right now it feels… normal. 

Right after introductions, Sicheng boasts, “By the way, I stole this from a butcher’s shop, don’t tell anyone. It’s premium meat!” Lucas exaggerates a gasp which earns soft laughs from the rest of the table. Taeyong jokingly scolds Sicheng for stealing, though it doesn’t seem he’s totally against it. After all, we live and breathe in Neostone, a hot spot for crime. He shifts in his seat, checks his phone, and the screen turns off in a split second. Repeatedly poking my shoulder, he explains that he’s about to work a graveyard shift.

“Rent’s due at the end of this week, so I’m picking up an extra shift,” he says while he collects his coat. Paying rent at our micro-apartment complex has always been a rough rollercoaster. Some months are easier than others, and it’s getting harder especially with more acid rainfall than usual. Damage to buildings requires higher rent. I nod and tug at Sicheng’s sleeve to let him know of Lucas’s sudden departure. He notices and gets up to grab a container for the remainder of Lucas’s food. I help pack up some of the food while Taeyong also starts to put on his jacket. Lucas and Sicheng exchange goodbyes and Lucas takes off for the clinic. That leaves Taeyong and I next to thank Sicheng for the food, shaking hands as we leave. He deeply bows and goes back to the other customers.

Stopping outside of his car, Taeyong turns to me. “Thanks for taking me here, the food’s really good. Sicheng is pretty cool, too.” He softly smiles, my own lips reciprocating. It came as a bit of a shock hearing those words when I’ve gotten accustomed to his usual harsh tone. I’m glad he’s comfortable around Sicheng. Despite the low chance of them ever interacting further than meals at Electric Egg, it’s good to know he probably won’t involve Sicheng in our state of affairs. Plus, it must’ve been exhausting having to work, work, work all day. Living alone, too, and getting to know other people outside of the clinic bubble might be good for him, though I’m not one to dictate what and who he’s comfortable with. I still am wary of his behavior and intentions, but… I think it might be okay. He seems more warmed up than when we first met. Taeyong opens the door for me to slip into the passenger seat. He takes the wheel on the other side and drives us to his apartment where our plans will be sorted out.

⠀

▶ Ambience

⠀

Taeyong and I trudge up the stairs, lugging boxes of the equipment we gathered from the clinic earlier. Upon reaching the apartment, he sets down his boxes and unlocks the door, pushing through to the interior. The very few times I’ve visited here, there’s such a stark difference between his place and the world surrounding it. Warm, inviting, cozy, luxurious. Not like the cold streets or the dingy micro-apartments, a neverendless blanket of smog and musky smells weighing down on the mega city. But here, it felt like home, the one I used to have, and all the comforts that came with it. Taeyong gently tugs my sleeve to pull me  in, taking off a few of the smaller boxes off my stack I’ve been carrying. I utter a low ‘thanks’ before placing the equipment in the room where I first discovered his whole operation on Lucas. Since we’re alone and Lucas isn’t here to stop me from running my mouth, I decided it’s time to get to know Taeyong better. There’s no deadline, no timeframe, no plan provided, so if I have to continue this messenger job under him for a long time, I might as well get to understand him better. For future references. Taeyong plops down on the sofa. “Make yourself at home. You’ll be here a lot from now on, anyways.”

I comply, making myself comfortable on a plush chair adjacent to his seat. He seems tired out, but I decide to press on. “Doc— Sorry. Taeyong, since we’re working together, I feel like we should know the basics about each other. Where we came from, what life was like before 2094, why he’s a doctor, why I’m stuck at the clinic, stuff like that,” I pause, examining any signs from his face. But he’s blank-faced. He points a finger at me, insinuating that I go first. Well, it’s not like I’ve kept my story a secret. Pretty much everyone I’ve become close to, including friends from the food stall street, knows everybody else’s life before all went to shit. Sharing our struggle stories is what makes us closer. Plus, despite being one of the twelve megacities, Neostone felt small, like being trapped in a bubble with no way out. “Me?” Taeyong simply nods, and I begin to tell him every detail, from growing up to college to now after the disaster. I tell him about Lucas and our friendship to which he responds with no words, but a soft expression. Even for someone who’s most likely weary from the day, he seems to listen intently. His elbows perch on his knees, his torso leaning forward and head tilting at different points of my story. When I run out of words, I gesture to him that it’s his turn to spill. A long sigh fills the space.

“You already, don’t you?” I raise a brow at his question, a heartbeat in my chest skipped. “The page of my information, you have it.” I shifted nervously, playing with the trim on one of the arms of the chair. “In any case, you are only aware of my achievements. But I was pushed a lot as a young child by my parents. I do love them, but my childhood felt restricted. From then on, I never sought out others. I either let them come to me, or I never talk to them. Ever.” A faint chortle follows a brief silence. “Though I have one close friend who sticks with me even to this day. Doyoung, you’ll meet him this week when the shipment arrives.” He must have a personal and trusting relationship with this person. I couldn’t imagine this Dr. Lee being anything but playfully mean and cold. Doyoung must be a good person. Taeyong proceeds further, “Oh, also, I was part of the S.O.G Project.”

“What the hell is S.O.G?”

“Special Operations for the Gifted. It was a series of supposedly non-invasive and supposedly safe trials where children who performed extremely well throughout their early education were put to the test. How far can you go without breaking the limits? Natural law?” He removes himself from the prior position and relaxes his back against the sofa cushions behind him. “Do you know why I’m part of the Dragon Zodiac?” The answer is not as evident as I shake my head in disbelief. “Each person in the Zodiac has gone through the S.O.G. Those of similar abilities banded together, and now we have the twelve Zodiacs. Dragons are those who are able to manipulate objects in one way or another. For me, metal manipulation.”

The pieces start to fall in together. That’s why his handiwork is so seamless. Should I be shocked? Taeyong is full of surprises, He speaks again, “There are hundreds of us in Zodiacs. Some children don’t even remember they went through S.O.G. Myself included. Doyoung, who was in mostly the same tests as me, recalls everything. It’s not fun to think about.” Questions run through my mind, but the pain in his face tells me to keep quiet. “These mutations plagued us even before 2094. I don’t know about the progress made or the research done, but the project was abandoned right before the disaster.” He detects the confusion on my face to which he brings up again that he knows nothing else about S.O.G. Another heavy sigh loads the room. “I’m sure you have questions.”

As sure as he is, I don’t want him to feel like he has to expose everything about himself to me. This already appears to be a lot for him, especially now that it’s late. But I do want to say something, though not centered on him. After a small pause to gather my voice, I ask about someone who’s close to him and seems to be comforting, “So what’s Doyoung’s special power? What’s he like? What Zodiac is he in?” Taeyong tilts his head, as if expecting me to ask more about him, but he smiles at the gesture.

“He’s a Rabbit, known for their hyperawareness. Their reflexes are out of the world and their attention to details make them very clever. Doyoung is a very calm and collected person, but is very lucky with getting what he wants. It’s annoying, really.” He rubs the back of his left hand with his right thumb. “But he’s helped me a lot through the S.O.G tests.” Listening to Taeyong talk about Doyoung makes me miss Lucas, though we have not been together for as long as the other two have. But it makes all the difference having someone, especially in your roughest patches and darkest of times. I think I can start to mostly trust Taeyong. Of course, I have to keep my guard up, but listening to him talk makes me feel a bit more at ease about us working together. Taeyong closes his eyes. The ticking of the clock becomes louder as it strikes eleven o’ clock. “Anything else you want to ask?”

It’s time to call it a night, I say to myself. But in that same thought, I remember the encounter with Jaehyun and decide to ask. It might be better to ask now rather than later, to avoid a potentially bigger mess. Johnny warned me not to get myself too involved with the man, but it’s scratching at the back of my head. “Well, do you know Jeong Jaehyun?”

Taeyong’s eyes widened in an instant, snapping his head from its resting position to look at me. “Jaehyun. He’s the leader of the Ox Zodiac. Why?” I gulp. This is serious then. “Was he at Club Zone? Please tell me you did not talk to him.”

My voice lowers to a wavering whisper, “Well… Just a little,” while I hold up to make my pointer and finger close together. Maybe it was more than just a little, but he doesn’t need to know all the details. Just that I met him. The look of concern on Taeyong grows.

“He’s dangerous. You should stay away from him as much as possible.” The uneasy feeling is back. That night is a bit fuzzy from the light drinking, the noise, the dancing, the whole atmosphere. If any information slipped that I shouldn’t have, or if he caught on with what I’m doing for Taeyong, it could mean big time. Taeyong rubs his temples, lowering his chin. “He’s a very important part of our operation.” He inhales sharply and lets the built up air back out the second after, “Jaehyun and I made a promise that if I can show him I can make a fully functional prototype, a.k.a Lucas, he will provide me more of his men. The Ox Zodiac is known for extremely enhanced strength. They’re brutes, not to be messed with.” My head starts to feel dizzy from the amount of information combined with the exhaustion from work. He continues, “He’s an assassin, but covers for himself by working in real estate. Jaehyun is the closest one could get to the top. He’s our only connection that can help, unfortunately.” To my shock, he seems very distressed at this topic. “Word spreads fast between the Zodiacs, and we can’t afford to lose Jaehyun. You need to be careful when you’re doing your messenger duties. But remember, know your boundaries. You work for me, not him. Not the entire Dragon Zodiac either.” He accompanies his demanding tone with a pointer finger firmly pressed to the coffee table. Now, I understand the true gravity of the situation. I can’t risk Taeyong and the operation going under. I can’t be careless.

Speak of the devil.

My phone buzzes loudly in my pocket, lighting up through the fabric. With a vexed sigh, I pull it out and read the name flashing across the screen from the caller ID. Jeong Jaehyun. I take a peak at Taeyong who’s staring at me. “It’s him.” He simply tells me to pick up.

“Let me know what he says.” I nod. Hesitantly, I press the accept button.

“Missed me?” Jaehyun’s voice pierces through the line.

“Jaehyun. Why are you calling me so late at night?”

“So there’s a mansion party, and I have admissions for two. But as of right now, I’m going solo. I was wondering if you’d be able to come with me. It’s a really important event for real estate agents and upper class entrepreneurs.”

I quietly relay the information to Taeyong, the phone pressed against my chest to prevent Jaehyun from hearing. Taeyong rubs a finger to his chin in deep thought. “Are you okay with going? I know I said to stay away, but this is a good opportunity for us to make more connections.” I nod, but a little frazzled at the thought of being put in another uncomfortable situation. Isn’t my job simply to send information back and forth between him and other Zodiac members?

I breathe in deeply. “What time and where?” Jaehyun the describes the location, making it seem very grandeur and huge. This Saturday at 7pm. My stomach starts to hurt again from the nervousness. He says it’s formal attire, but will have something for me upon picking me up. Taeyong paces back and forth across the room. I note all the information in my head, making myself more dizzy than I already am. What makes me freeze is Jaehyun’s next query.

“Are you with Taeyong right now?”

I stood there, Taeyong and I keeping each other’s stare.

“No. Why?”

“You’re lying.”

“How do you know? I’m by myself at home.”

“I see you with him. How’s the brown sofa? Comfy right? And that green coffee table looks exquisite. It looks like it’s from that expensive brand, what’s it called... Boca Do Lobo?”

Jaehyun continues to taunt me, my eyes verifying that the coffee table indeed is from that brand, and then lowering to the floor in perplexity. Taeyong immediately springs into action. He closes the blinds and curtains and ensures all doors are shut tight. He’s locking down the apartment.

“I have my eyes on you. I’ll come pick you up on Saturday at 5PM to get ready for the party. See you soon,” he sings into the call, ending it before I could get another word out.

The blonde-headed doctor and I both have widened eyes at what just happened. My voice croaks out of fear, “How can he see us?” Taeyong presses a palm to his forehead and pushes his hair back, revealing small sweat droplets.

“I don’t know. But you can’t go home. He might follow you and find out about Lucas and take him for himself. You need to stay here.” His tone drops low and gentle as if to not wake up his neighbors in the rooms next to his. There’s no other way, and I obviously don’t want Lucas to be snatched. Taeyong, seeing that I’m visibly shaken and overloaded with information, pulls me into a hug which surprises me. At first, the wariness from the phone call heightened, but this silent embrace makes me feel a bit more relaxed. I trust that Taeyong won’t let Jaehyun hurt me, so I think staying here will be the best option.

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Camping here. This is your apartment.”

“But your safety is most important, I still need you for this project.” Though the reminder that I’m bound to this chaos hurts, I let loose the remaining tenseness in my body. I’m falling asleep in the warmth that radiates from his hug. My head is heavy. My eyes are closing. I feel myself being lifted up. Taeyong’s voice is merely a murmur. “I’ll put you in the guest bedroom. Rest up well.” The plush sheets underneath me feel like I’m laying on a cloud, my hands automatically circling the softness and gaining some sort of consolation. I can no longer string coherent thoughts. Taeyong pulls a comforter up to my chin, turns off the light, and leaves the door ajar. “Let me know if you need anything.”

I was not expecting such hospitality, but I’m damn grateful for it. The day has been a lot, and the rest of the week ahead will be nerve-wracking as Saturday will come closer and closer. There’s no way to avoid it now. I’m going to have to deal with Jaehyun again.

I wonder what Lucas is up to. I’d love to call him, but he’s still at his shift. I hope he comes home safely, unharmed, happy. The phone in my hand keeps slowly dropping, but I try to fight it to press on Lucas’s contact while my surroundings darken. But I didn’t get to press his name. I let the fatigue take over me, at least for now until the next day.

⠀

Chapters

➥ Prologue

➥ Chapter One

➥ Chapter Two

▶ Ambience

My face blanks at his question while his eyes bore into mine. To be frank, I’d been to a handful of parties in college, but they always played terrible music and the stench of booze mixed with sweat filled the musty frat house. It’s a dizzying smell and always leaves me nauseous, though sometimes it’s tolerable, rarely enjoyable, if I’m not so sober. However, I’d never gone out clubbing. Honestly speaking, the concept is a bit enticing. Letting loose your stresses and enjoying even a few hours of being yourself without judgment sounds like something I’ve been needing since I started working two jobs. Not to mention most clubs have professional DJ’s, not some random second year frat brother whose only personality trait is playing his today’s hip-hop playlist on a singular loudspeaker. In response to Taeyong’s question, I shake my head with confusion written all over my face. Without another moment, I ask him why he inquired. I expected him to demand that I throw myself into a gunfight or some other dangerous scenario in the darkest spots of town-- definitely not where the bass shakes the whole building as people jump up and down for hours on end. His approach is interesting. I say nothing, however, as words couldn’t seem to come out of my mouth at the moment. Taeyong speaks up again.

“Whatever your answer is, I have a mission for you,” he begins.”There’s a guy at the club several blocks south from here who I need parts from. It’s for the rest of Lucas’s arm,” he explains, sparing a glance at his job on Lucas. “His name is Johnny, the owner and main DJ of the place called Club Zone. Ask any of the bartenders for a Zodiac special. They’ll direct you to Johnny, and you’ll get information on when those parts will be delivered to the clinic, who he’s sending to do the job, and when the next big rave is. Just for fun.” Pushing himself off his chair, he eyes Lucas again who’s been watching him carefully. Taeyong pats the front of his pants, dust flies off and disappears into the air. “I’m not done with Lucas, not until I replace all of his limbs.”

Cruel. Those words immediately send me into disgust and fury, but I couldn’t lose my cool in front of Taeyong, not when he has a fucking gun and could pull it back out any second. My stomach feels queasy and knees weak from imagining how lifeless-looking Lucas would be if and when he completely turns into a cyborg. Hopefully, I can find a way to dig him out of this mess. For now, I try to keep my composure, a bit of surprise that my voice didn’t come out cracking and soft, “I’ll accept your mission, but on the condition that you tell me what exactly you’re planning to do with Lucas.” In response to my request, he nods, taking painfully slow steps towards me. I hold my ground, but couldn’t stop a little jump as he grabs my chin and tilts my head to the side. I lock eyes with Lucas as he appears ready to knock the lights out of Taeyong but stands there, only waiting to see what’s next. Taeyong’s warm breath grazes my ear as a hearty laugh breaks from his lips. The blood in my body seems to be rushing faster and faster as every heartbeat becomes louder in my head.

“Sure, sure. I’ll fulfill that condition right now.” He forces my face to turn the other side, the pressure of his thumb against my jawline sure to bruise some skin. “Though maybe you and robot boy over there could use a bit of a cool down. I know this is a lot to take in. Care for tea?”

▶ Ambience

There’s definitely a bruise on my jaw where he felt the need to press so hard on, my fingers poking at the spot. Taeyong boils tea and pours it into three cups from the kitchenette. He distributes them to Lucas and me, keeping one for himself. Taking a seat on the sofa across from us who share a couch, he seems to note our suspicion from our faces. This man dared to hurt me in front of my best friend, and he expects us to keep calm and drink the tea? Who knows what it’s laced with. He shakes his head, blows across the surface of the tea, and sips away. A minute passes without the other two of us moving a muscle, patiently waiting to see if something is up with the beverage. But nothing happens, and Lucas goes in. Of course, it seems Taeyong really needs Lucas for whatever reason, so it wouldn’t make sense to poison or kill him. Giving up and feeling safer seeing Lucas take it in, I hesitantly drink from my cup. The soreness becomes more apparent as I move my jaw to adjust my lips on the cup of tea. Not bad. Taeyong takes to an explanation, causing me to shift my attention from the tea back to him.

“You’re aware of the corrupt so-called government, right? We just call them the top. All those dirty leaders, bunch of nasty fuckers with no empathy.” The urge to call out the hypocrisy heightened with how he treated Lucas and me, but my mouth remains focused on the tea, ears on his words. His tone becomes stern as he continues, “There are twelve megacities, right? Every single one of them controlled by a few higher ups. Though broken up, they’re powerful as a unit and will not hesitate to team up. They’ll kick us when we’re already down.” I find it strange how he keeps using ‘us’ as if he’s one of the unfortunate people like Lucas and I who have little to nothing. I doubt he has any taste for the hopelessness that I’ve felt these past two years. Not with all the nice luxuries I see in his apartment. But again, it’s best to keep listening and not aggravate him. “But in all of those megacities, they’re not aware that there’s a collective of us distributed as gangs to keep control and gather information to overthrow the top.” Taeyong finishes off his tea, maybe a bit too fast as he coughs a bit into his elbow, and sets the cup onto the coffee table separating us. I try to cut in with a question, but he elaborates further. “I’m the one leading Neostone’s collective. You’re wondering why your good friend here is part of my work, yes? Short answer is this.” Those same dark eyes drilling a hole through me. He leans forward from his seat, clasping hands and resting his elbows on his knees. “Lucas is a prototype, basically an experiment, as part of the plan to take down the top. He’s the perfect build, very healthy. It makes things easier to work with. Lucas took my offer of a good amount of money and promotion at the clinic once this is complete.”

My jaw clenches. At this point, the screams are threatening to spill. Lucas agreed to follow through this procedure... for money and promotion? I can’t blame him. These times have been very tough on us with little money, surviving on scraps. Getting enough to pay rent every month is like walking through hell and back just to find out you’ll be close to starving for the next week. He’s even been given the opportunity to carry out practice-- as a doctor? A nurse? Lucas wasn’t able to finish his studies, so this would be a dream come true for him. But everything about this is inhumane. Taeyong doesn’t seem to have evil intentions based on his coup d'état agenda which I can somewhat get behind, but in the process, Lucas gets hurt. I raise my voice after a minute of taking things in, “So, about my mission. When do you want this done?” It’s a Saturday night which means places like bars and clubs will be fill up quickly and get rowdy. It’s currently 10:00pm.

“Club Zone really starts to become crowded at 11:00pm. At the latest, be back by 3:00am since Johnny shuts things down at 2:00am.” Taeyong circles a finger around the rim of the teacup. “Be aware of others at that place. I’ve heard horror stories from Johnny, though he tries his best to keep things calm. If I don’t hear back from you...” Lucas gulps when Taeyong stands. Though Lucas is way taller than him, Taeyong’s presence towering over us is no joke. “Lucas loses his job and can’t ever work in the clinic. That’ll be on you, sweetheart.” One corner of his lips lifts as he breathes out a soft, yet daunting laugh. He’s enjoying this, and I detest him for it. I need to talk to Lucas.

“May Lucas and I be excused for a minute? I just need to calm down, and I can’t do that with you right there.” My expression sours, and Taeyong waves us off as he leaves towards one of the rooms. Lucas and I are left alone on the couch. Silence, then a sniffle. At the sorrowful sound, I swivel my head to Lucas whose head hangs low. “Lucas. You should’ve told me all of this. Why did you take the offer when you’re only going to become... not human? We’re doing fine with money, I can take another shift and--”

He slams a fist on the table in front of us, another overwhelming silence ensues. The slight crack in his voice hurts. “Do you think there’s been a day I don’t worry about the costs of everything? Do you think I enjoy being at that damn clinic just to end up cleaning towels and disinfecting instead of applying everything I learned in college? Do you think I tolerate seeing you overwork yourself with two jobs so you can pay for yourself and a bit for me? Fuck you.” The tears in our eyes pour over the rim, hot like the tea we just had. The pain in his words struck me. I never realized he felt this way. I guess I saw him as someone who’s only happy and goofy all the time without seeing what’s truly bothering him inside. He may look and sound strong, but what he’s saying right now breaks the image that my mind latched onto. Lucas removes his hand from the table, a bit of a purplish hue forming from the contact with the hard surface. “I’m doing this not only for myself, but for you, too. You are the only one that’s given me purpose in this fucking dump of a life, and now Taeyong is allowing me a chance at what I love best and to get us out of being dirt poor. Can’t you see that? I know you care for me, but please don’t police my decisions.” He sighs and extends his arm over my upper back, pulling me into a side hug. “I can’t express how sorry I am for dragging you into this. But now that you’re here and on board, I swear to protect you. From everyone. From Taeyong.”

I don’t know what to say other than muttering sorry a hundred times as the crocodile tears soak small parts of my clothes. I wipe away the drops from eyes as soon as I hear a door click. Taeyong comes back into view, seeing the pathetic disarray that was a sobbing session. “Done? It’s 10:30pm now, better get going before you can’t push through the horde. Club Zone is popular.” This bitch, how much more insensitive can he get? Once the remaining wetness of my face becomes dry, I stand up, grabbing my things without saying anything. Taeyong’s getting on my last nerves, and I may snap if I try anything to get back at him, verbally or physically. The only thing that I can do right now is to find out the information, give it to him, and leave for home with Lucas. Do my job and go home. The two watch me leave the apartment, disappearing into the hallway with a slam of the door.

▶ Ambience, NCT Playlist for the club

So this is Club Zone. The mixture of bright purple and pink neon lights accompanied by dizzying bass make my head hurt a bit. I arrived at 10:55pm with the long line already forming. Though I feel out of place, I fall in and peer towards the front. The bouncer doesn’t seem to have any sort of list. Looks like they just let anyone in. After about fifteen minutes, I get in. Taeyong’s right-- this place is getting quite packed, people already seemingly drunk, probably from pre-game. The bass gets louder, banging against my ears, as I make my way to the bar where less people were hanging out. Everyone else is already swaying and spinning to the deafening beats. It’s hard to see anyone with how dim the club’s lights were. I seat myself at the counter on a high chair, raising a hand and giving a smile to the nearest bartender who thankfully attends to me right away. Upon asking for my request, I answer, “Zodiac special, please.” The bartender stands still for a second, examining me, then nodding and fixing a drink right away. Taeyong didn’t specify in his directions whether the bartender would immediately tell me where this Johnny person is, so I sit and wait for anything to happen. I receive the drink which is rather pretty with a light blue liquid and glowing green swirls. The bartender then slides what seems like a receipt next to my drink. They tell me not to worry and that the drink’s safe to have. Damn, no alcohol. Not sure if I’m pleased with the fact it’s non-alcoholic, but it isn’t important right now. Upon further inspection, I find a scribbled note on the back, “Tonight’s a packed night, please wait until midnight at the bar. I’ll come find you and take you to the back once I switch with another DJ.” I assume this is Johnny’s instructions which I sigh to. Shoving the piece of paper into my pocket, I check the time on my phone. It’s 11:20pm now.

Another tall figure takes a seat besides me despite the other empty seats farther away. I do my best not to make any sort of eye contact as I really don’t want trouble on my first mission. My eyes are set on doing the bare minimum and leaving as soon as it’s done. I almost choke on a sip of the drink as the person startles me with a deep voice, “What drink is that? Looks cool.” I regain a steady breath and turn to face whoever this is and... oh shit. In the little light provided by the overhead beams on the ceiling, I make out a rather handsome visage topped with fluffy, wavy dark hair. Maybe this mission will be alright. “Hello?” He tilts his head to fit onto his palm, elbow resting the table. Fuck, was I staring?

“Oh, sorry! It’s, well,” I stop for a second, realizing this drink is probably exclusive to gang members, so if he asked for one also... that may cause complications. “I just told the bartender to surprise me, to be honest.” I hope that lie is convincing enough, and it appears so as he laughs. He waves and asks for a glass of Manhattan from a bartender who seems to tense up at his presence. I continue just to enjoy the cold drink, which is the perfect amount of sweet and sour. This’ll make up for being in this stuffy space.

“Jaehyun, by the way.” I lift a brow, only slightly facing Jaehyun while my glass is attached to my lips. “I haven’t seen you before, is this your first time? Club Zone’s pretty cool compared to all the other clubs in downtown.” I nod, taking a big gulp of the drink and setting it down. Why not pass time doing something other than sitting around while I wait for Johnny?

I go along with the conversation, “You can call me [Y/N]. This is my first time here, I needed a break from work and such. Jaehyun’s a cool name.” He lets out a lively laugh and takes a few sips of his drink, and much to my dismay, the pace of my heartbeat quickens. I’m not here to flirt, but maybe just a little won’t hurt, right? And I won’t let it get too far. Besides, this Zodiac special is safe. However, this Jaehyun person pushes his own beverage towards me.

“Try it, if you’d like. Have you had one of these? This club’s got the best bartenders and drinks.” Hesitantly, I take the class and bring it closer to my nose to smell it. Well, I am at a club. With the drink in hand, I tilt my head back a bit, letting the cool sting travel down my throat. It burns a lot, a sensation that feels like new. I hand the remaining amount back to him, thanking him. “Good? You took in a lot.” Damn that eye smile and grin. It’s been a while since I’ve felt mesmerized by someone, but maybe it’s just the Manhattan hitting.

Noticing I’m facing him fully, I shift in my seat and go back to my own drink. “Yeah, I’m fine.” In reality, whatever the bartender put into glass is strong. I can feel the fuzzy feeling travel down my throat and spread throughout my body, a bit of a buzz in my head. “What about you, what brings you here?” I ask the man who looks to be inching closer to me, his shoulder almost touching mine. If he tries anything, he won’t be having a great time after I sock him somewhere sensitive. “You’re all dressed up in a suit, too, are you into business?” Jaehyun shrugs, fiddling with a now empty glass, his eyes focused on mine a little too comfortably for me.

He pulls a card with his contact information on it and hands it to me which I take gingerly, flipping it over and back a few times. “Jeong Jaehyun. Real estate. Been dealing with a lot of shit people these days. Feel free to call me whenever, for business or,” he pauses, “things not related to real estate.” He asks the bartender for another drink, a Daiquiri this time, just as another man saunters over. He pokes lightly at my shoulder.

“Hey, let’s chat in the back, shall we?” The man eyes Jaehyun, but doesn’t pay any more attention, swiftly changing his focus back onto me. “You can bring your drink with.” I nod, assuming this man is Johnny and that I’d be okay with him. 

Standing up, I feel a bit dizzy, uncertain if from sitting down for so long or the drink that Jaehyun let me have some of. Johnny notices, steadying me by offering his arm which I hold onto. Before we commence our journey to wherever he’s taking me, Jaehyun nudges my side, winks at me, and says, “Have fun, you have my card.” He shoots a wide smile, his eyes trailing down my body as I walk away. Club Zone might have its perks.

▶ Ambience

Johnny and I reach the back which I assume are for private parties and, well, other private activities. The bass hits the walls hard as we enter an empty room. It’s now just Johnny and I, and though there’s less people, I can’t help but feel uneasy. We both take a seat opposite of each other, my sadly non-alcoholic drink starting to dwindle away. Beginning to sober up, I open up the discussion. “You’re Johnny, right?” Just making sure I have the right guy on my first mission, especially with Lucas on the line. I feel relief when he nods and shows me his ID card. Looks legitimate. Johnny Suh, 25 years old, from Chicago. So he was born in the western hemisphere that was destroyed back in 2094. Since I grew up there, it’s nice to meet someone else who would remember it. I wonder how he ended up here in Neostone. “Good, so Taeyong sent me to ask you about parts? I don’t know, I’m new to all of this. I don’t even know what to ask exactly.” Johnny softly chuckles at my predicament.

“Yong’s never had a messenger, he used to do everything himself. Makes me happy he’s got you to carry some work, hopefully you can adjust soon. You’re doing great so far.” His reassurance feels nice, knowing the kind of situation I’m stuck in. Johnny continues, “He can expect Lucas’s parts in a few days, probably in the middle of the week. I’m having Doyoung and Taeil deliver them directly to the clinic for the doctor dude.” I nod. Doyoung and Taeil. I have to remember these details for Taeyong. The way Johnny knows Lucas’s name makes me feel strange. How many people are in each of these gangs and how many know Lucas? They probably know him just as the prototype or cyborg which doesn’t sit right. Johnny’s then out of the blue poses a question that puzzles me. “Are you part of the Dragon Zodiac? Or from another group?” Undoubtedly, my confused face is my answer to him. “Ah, you’re some stranger then, huh. Well, Taeyong’s the leader of the Neostone Zodiac, the Dragons. They’re known for elemental manipulation.” Now hold on.

Without warning, I channel a more intense tone and volume, “For fuck’s sake, I keep learning new things each hour since I’ve met Taeyong. They can do what now?” Johnny bursts into laughter and tears, wiping them away though they seem to keep coming. He’s trying to explain, but it takes him a couple of minutes to finally recollect his composure. 

“Did you go into this not knowing anything? Lord, that man cracks me up. Anyways, sorry,” he starts, still dabbing his sleeve at his reddened cheeks where laughing tears stained. “Each megacity is represented by a Zodiac. I’m sure you’ve heard about the story of the twelve animals and some race, yeah? For example, I’m not from Neostone, but I work for the Horse Zodiac based in a city in South Korea, we’re known for enhanced stamina. You know, I made it to state back in high school for track. Almost to the national stage, but I got injured. Those were good times...” This man is so talkative, and I could not take in any more information, but he keeps going on some tangent about his track and field days. So in addition to my best friend completely turning into a cyborg that I have to help out with, I’m also up against others with super powers? The more this progresses, the more I believe I’m living in a superhero comic or film. There’s no way this is all real, maybe he’s just pulling my leg. Johnny continues to detail the whole Zodiac concept. “The Dragon Zodiac is one of the special collectives. Taeyong is kind of like... a metal bender, if you think about it. But he can’t go toppling whole buildings or whatever, their power is pretty limited.”

That must be why his work with Lucas’s arm is so sleek and seamless. He’s able to supernaturally work with metal apparently, but I’m not believing Johnny’s words until I see these supposed abilities for myself. Johnny stares at me, waiting for me to say something, so I do. “Thank you, I’ll tell Taeyong this.” This is all I say. Propelling myself off the chair, Johnny provides me a bottle of water and offers to escort me out through the busy club. Nodding in approval, we take off and out of the back and into the noisiness of the Club Zone. Taking sips of water every now and then helps to recuperate from the fuzziness that Manhattan drink dealt. Speaking of Manhattan, the darkened eyes of the man from earlier lock onto mine, watching me leave with Johnny at my side with a smug smile on his face. Jaehyun stands still with his back against the wall, away from all the activity of dancing and drinking taking place where the other DJ does his job.

Johnny leans down towards me and warns me, “That’s Jaehyun. He’s the Ox Zodiac leader. Might be pretty, but don’t get caught up with him.” The comment leaves me curious, and a bit annoyed. You’re telling me that gorgeous man can’t be messed with? I’ll bring this up with Taeyong and see what kind of dirt is on Jaehyun. I quietly thank Johnny for guiding me as he lets go of my arm at the entrance of the building. He bids me safe travels and turns, seemingly eager to get back to DJ’ing. The guy seems nice, way more entertaining and easy to approach than the damn doctor. Club Zone just might be a new spot for me to frequent. Before I push through the doors to exit, I steal a glance from Jaehyun who’s still looking at me. I’m definitely coming back.

▶ Ambience

2:30am. I arrive at Taeyong’s apartment, knocking instead of breaking in. The door opens revealing the doctor who appears to have showered, the strong scent of mint pouring into the hallway and the blonde strands sticking in generous clumps to his foreheads. Kind of... cute. “I wasn’t expecting you to come back. At least, not this early.” I take it back. What a way to greet someone. He ushers me in, closing the door behind me. Looking around, I note that Lucas isn’t here, and I look at Taeyong for answers. He reads me well, reporting that he sent Lucas home around midnight to get some sleep. “Lucas didn’t seem too well, probably from lack of sleep. Very worried, like a puppy that can’t stand being away from its owner. Should let him be more often.” I hate that he’s right, but I brush off the comment and take a seat, this time on the comfier and nicer sofa. Taeyong sits across. “So, information. Spill.” Jumping on information already, not even asking if I made it back alright and everything went smoothly-- who does he think he is?

Establishing my perplexity with his attitude, I passive aggressively begin with, “I met Johnny who’s very nice compared to you and explained way more than you did, without a gun or anything.” He rubs the back of his neck which tells me he may regret all that he pulled earlier on me. Or that he doesn’t care and wants to get straight to the information. “Anyways, Do... Doyoung? Along with Taeil will be delivering the shipment sometime, possibly in the middle of, this week. Straight to clinic.” Taeyong nods with the details given to me by Johnny. Maybe I’ll stay quiet about my encounter with Jaehyun since Johnny said not to meddle with him. After I finish my piece, he ponders, his brows knitting together. Is it not enough for him? I’ve given him what he wants. I just need to get home and make sure Lucas is okay.

“Very good except... did you ask about the next rave.”

I fucking loathe him each time he opens that mouth.

“No. Because it’s not important, next. Let me go home.” My arms fold across my chest, an eye roll to top it off. Taeyong chortles at my annoyance.

He gets up, still laughing, and picks up a set of car keys from off the wall near the door. “Easy, easy. Come on, I’ll drive you back home.”

▶ Ambience

Part of me still is fuming over Taeyong’s demeanor, but I’m also thankful for him driving me back to the complex. The rain starts to hit hard against the windows. I’d rather not get soaked after an already wild and mostly upsetting night. The ride is silent for a few minutes until he breaks it. “Hey, I know we’re off to a bad start, but you’re working for me now.” Held me a gunpoint. “As your boss, I’ll be protecting you as I need someone to help divvy up my project, even just for information gathering, so you don’t need to worry about me hurting you anymore.” Bruised my jaw earlier. “All you need to do is follow my orders and you’ll be fine.” Put responsibility for Lucas’s possible promotion to be taken away on me. Aren’t doctors supposed to have compassion and be kind? Whatever his words were, they went in one ear and out the ear because I don’t want to hear him talk anymore. He pulls into a spot and parks against the sidewalk close to the complex entrance, but I needed to hear an apology from him. If we’re working together, I need him to know my boundaries and to treat me with respect. The windshield wipers are the only thing we could hear for a moment until Taeyong reaches into the back. What in the world could he be pulling out? A gun again? My heart races for a few seconds, but calms down after seeing a familiar red box with a cross on it. A medicine kit. He sets it onto his lap, opening it up to reveal the usual items that come with it. Taeyong picks up the instant ice pack, shakes it a few times waiting for it to feel cold in his hands, and hands it to me. I stare at him in disbelief. “Nice bruise.” He points to his jaw in the spot where my bruise is, and I feel at my own face to mirror him. He laughs, a painful ring in my ears to hear him mocking me. “Take care and see you at the clinic on Monday.”

Exiting the car, I hold the ice pack to my bruise, the sting of the coldness causing me to wince. You’re so pathetic, I say to myself. That wasn’t the kind of apology I wanted, if it was even one, but the tiredness is starting to take over me. Before to entering the complex, I peek over my shoulder to see Taeyong still parked, watching me head inside. Sticking my tongue out in displeasure with all he’s done, I put up a quick middle finger and rush inside. He’s probably roaring his ass off in laughter inside his car, but it’s no longer something I’ll pay mind to. My priority is Lucas.

▶ Ambience

Without hesitation, I enter Lucas’s small apartment through the door that’s ajar, and I find him twiddling his thumbs at the table with nervousness riddling his expression. Has he been waiting for me? I reposition the ice pack still on my bruise. “Hi, Lucas, sorry if you were staying up for me.” I reassure him, seeing his shoulders drop and some color rise back in his face. He raises a brow, and I know he’s about to ask about the unpleasant-looking violet blooming along my jaw. “I’m okay, he didn’t do anything else. I told him all the information and he drove me home.” He sighs in relief, stands, and opens up his arms, the good old bear hug whenever something goes down. Embracing him, the familiar sense of comfort washes over me, my lids wavering as the need to be in bed becomes stronger.

“It’s a been a long night, hasn’t it? We both should sleep in a little. Let’s go to Electric Egg later this morning for brunch. 11:30? Sicheng’s working then, too.” I sleepily nod, pushing him away a little to leave for my room. He asks another question, one that fills me with dread, “How do you feel about Taeyong?” I keep my lips shut. “He’s not a bad guy, I promise. Just give him time.” I wonder how long he’s been keeping this from me. If it’s only recent, I can feel somewhat better. If not, then this whole time, he’s been secretive about this and working with Taeyong, that evil man. Though feeling betrayed, I think I can trust him with Lucas. Since all I’m doing is gathering information, this compromise shouldn’t be difficult to carry out. Talk to people, report the details, and repeat. As long as it doesn’t involve harming others, everything will be fine.

A weak smile occupies my face, my head beginning to feel heavy in addition to the rest of me. “As long as you’re okay, I’ll be alright with him. We just have to play along with Taeyong and see what happens next. But I won’t let him hurt you, or me.” Lucas, satisfied with my answer, pushes me out the door with a loud laugh and bids me a good night. I quickly do the same before closing his door and drift over to my own room. After a quick wash and stretch, I sit at the edge of the bed and scan the crumpled paper with all of Taeyong’s information from Pearl Park. My thumbs try to smooth out the wrinkles as much as possible to make it clearer. He’s annoyingly admirable. A very intelligent doctor who’s got a charm to him, plus supposedly a superpower, and can get whatever he wants-- one of those things being my best friend-- is unfair. I look over to the now squishy, melted ice pack on my night stand. He’s not a bad guy. I want to believe Lucas. He’s been in more contact with Taeyong than I have. If he says so, then I should let it be, like Taeyong said. I turn over the document which I did not notice before, probably because I was rushing to get out of the storage room. It’s a list of what I think are names, neatly written in small cursive. Going down it, these names don’t seem familiar which I assume because the document is from an older year. Midway through the list, I abruptly freeze at a name that makes my blood stop, my body ice cold:

▶ Ambience

Pearl Park is packed with patients. Rarely do I take weekend shifts or visit on Saturdays, but a certain someone left early for additional hours at the clinic. I couldn’t help but follow him especially after yesterday’s events. The thoughts would not let go, an unpleasant growth at the back of my mind. It’s hard to know if I can trust him right now. I need more answers. Last night, he barely gave details, only rambling about how he had to wake up at ungodly hours for today. As difficult as it was, I urged him to go to bed to leave him alone. My own state of being was, and still is, disturbed by what I saw. The intricate design of circuit lines running down in strategic pathways down his arm, the broken-up metallic plates that replaced muscle, the seamless transition from a human shoulder to a mechanical limb, fingers cold to the touch. Something out of The Terminator movies.

There’s something odd about making myself wake early to get ready and coming after Lucas. Saturdays are for sleeping in, I always say to myself, a day to rest. Nevertheless, here I am slowly trailing behind him as he steers through the countless turns on the way to work. His thin light blue scrub stood out against the brown puffy jacket, making it easy to keep my distance without losing track of him. The pit began to form in stomach again. Please, let the destination be Pearl Park, nowhere bizarre. Whoever did whatever to his arm must have a reason to pick on Lucas. Granted he’s very strong and healthy, he’s the perfect candidate... for what? To become a government experiment? No, hopefully not. The top couldn’t give a damn about us, but when it comes to picking on the less fortunate to go farther with their lives in luxuries and power, they do so in under a heartbeat. If they have hearts, that is. It doesn’t make sense though, why would they want to make cyborgs? Or what if some random person just wanted to try their hand in robotics. Some grand experiment in trying to take over the world? Maybe I’ve watched too many sci-fi movies. The endless possibilities thoroughly occupied my head-- but that train of thought comes to a halt when I bump into the clinic’s entrance. Pressing a hand to my forehead and the other hand on the door handle, I steady myself. I’m already here?

Spotting the familiar scrub rounding the corner, I come close behind only to see Dr. Lee shoot a glare at Lucas. “You’re late,” the doctor’s voice raises sternly, “I expect better next time. We have important things to do later.” Later? My shoulders tense. It must mean he won’t join me for dinner with Sicheng. I wonder what kind of work Dr. Lee means. The doctor in question beckoned Lucas, in the middle of removing his coat, towards a darkened room meant for surgery. I sometimes clean equipment in that room, so it doesn’t make sense to meet in there when the clinic has designated meeting rooms. The two men walk inside and the door closes shut, and I stand there baffled. Hoping I could get by without looking suspicious, my feet slowly move closer to the room. All staff members seem busy with other things, some not sparing a glance as they rush stretchers to rooms. Thanks to that, no one questioned my actions, but it still feels risky. My body sticks tightly to the wall as I lend an ear towards the room. Taking a peek would be risky since my head would be visible and blocking light from outside, so I keep quiet and attempt to eavesdrop on their conversation, but to no avail. The bustling clinic muffles the dialogue between Lucas and Dr. Lee. Giving up, I relocate myself to the reception desk where I know they leave out a bowl of candies and chocolate for visitors. A little burst of serotonin never hurt anyone. Right?

▶ Ambience

As I work on a candy of choice in my mouth at a bench near the entrance, Lucas walks close to the reception desk and stops when he notices my presence. For a split second, his expression was shrunken in discomfort. Yet, in a flash, he paints that goofy smile to replace the former visage. “When did you get here? Did you even have breakfast? It’s not even 7:00am,” he shouts despite him standing a couple of meters away. Though embarrassing as it is to see annoyed nurses and doctors look our way, it’s nice to see his fun side come out despite the tension between us remaining thick.

“I’m just here to chat, you know, talk with some of my coworkers. See if anyone wants to hang out after their hours are done. I don’t really have anything else to do,” I lie through my teeth. I could be sleeping, but there’s too much I want to ask about your fucking cyborg arm, is the reality of my purpose here. But obviously, this is a public space, he’s working a job, and this is slowly becoming to feel like an obsession. The last thing I want is to worry about nothing, but I couldn’t help myself. Lucas is starting become more suspicious, I can’t lose him to something dangerous. Without thinking, I stare at his left arm. He’s wearing another long-sleeved shirt under his scrub to hide his arm. Realizing my intense gaze on him, Lucas takes long steps to the bench and sits down next to me, ensuring that his human arm nudged my left arm. It’s definite that he’s uncomfortable. “Sorry.” He shakes his head and lets out a hearty laugh.

A couple of pats on the top of my head remind me of my stiff posture to which I reply by relaxing. Lucas knows how to comfort others. He would’ve been a great doctor. Succeeding him clearing his throat, he softens his tone, “I’ll be at Sicheng’s tonight after my shift. I’ll only have half an hour to eat until I have to go somewhere. Tomorrow, I promise, I’ll tell you everything, but today isn’t a good time.”  A pause ensues, the both of us holding our gaze at each other until Lucas breaks out in a grin again. “I’ll pay for dessert, too. My treat!” Nothing like paying for my snacks. There’s no way to win against this man and his kind heart. A short moment passes by after I scan his face. I scoff at his comment, mumbling a ‘fine’ while a laugh escapes and my smile matches his. Just as he opens his mouth as if to say more, a nurse hurries to Lucas asking him to help with getting clean water and towels for a pregnancy in one of the rooms. He leaves immediately after shooting me a gentler smile, my own quickly reciprocating it. There goes Lucas again, I think to myself. But as swiftly as Lucas left, another figure of interest comes into sight at the front desk. And here comes Dr. Lee.

On the inside, I want to trust him. From what all the nurses and staff tell me, he’s a top notch doctor from the best medical university in Seoul who decided to leave South Korea for Japan to join one of the Tokyo hospital teams. Things obviously didn’t turn out so well after 2094, and he’s stuck here in Pearl Park. He seems to be well-off, too, showing up in designer brands you’d see before the disaster. Makes you wonder how such talent ended up in the ruins. Though I feel bad for him as I do with Lucas and his crushed dream, the inexplicable hatred in me keeps expanding and it has everything to do with that damn robot arm. Since last night, it’s been taking up all the space for thought, eating away at me. I wouldn’t have woken up before 7:00am and walked all the way to the clinic if this never happened. Nevertheless, the surreal circumstances in front of me are reality. I suppose now’s my chance to wring out any more information of Dr. Lee since my Saturday schedule is free of activity. It might be best to avoid Lucas for answers given how he dodges my questions regardless of the well-known fact that my curiosity is ultra strong. The first thing to pop up in my brainstorm is the document storage room on the second floor. As an employee of a not so high-end clinic, it’ll be easy to get in. Staff won’t question me going through the second floor and security’s a joke. Of course, there are possibilities of getting caught especially trying to read classified or private information, but it’s worth the risk if I can start to understand Lucas’s situation.

I take to the staircase leading up to the second level, a quick minute up to another floor busy with patients. Today, it seems a lot of them have either a cold or a broken bone, judging by swarm of people by the x-ray room accompanied by the continuous symphony of sneezing and sniffling. Eyeing the room at the end of the hall and taking in a long breath in, I casually make way to the door, weaving through nurses pushing wheeled beds. This hallway is long, I tell myself as clinic members make beelines toward their next destinations and form a difficult sea. Before reaching the door, I peak over my shoulder at the other employees. No one seems to be suspicious, and no Dr. Lee anywhere. Perfect, too perfect. A sign next to the door reads “Staff Only,” making me feel better about what I’m doing. Assistants are considered staff, right? The musty smell of old papers and cigarettes of the room cause me to cough a little. I wonder where to even start when there’s hundreds of files stored in here. It could take all day to thumb through all of these files. Luckily for me, the file cabinets are labeled with categories, albeit some oddly named like pets. I don’t think we have a veterinarian sector or have partnership with one. After a few minutes scanning all the potential cabinets, one catches my eye. Medical staff, the label reads. Dr. Lee’s file must be in there, and to my delight, he was indeed part of the records.

▶ Ambience

With a small gulp, I pull out the bulky, tattered folder as the other files begin to expand and fill the now empty space in the cabinet. Curiosity leads my widened eyes to glide across this important folder containing a book of history and records for each staff member. Confidential. Maybe I’m in here, and Lucas, too, except this seems to be an older record. We probably didn’t make the cut because it only contains Pearl Park medical staff that have been serving for a long time, from before the disaster, in this folder.  Flipping to a table of contents on the inside of the cover, I search for Dr. Lee’s name under Orthopaedic Surgeons towards the back of the pages. That’s definitely him from 2093, a year before the disaster. Handsome, frankly, but ugly for what I assume he’s doing to Lucas. With all fibers of my being, I swear this man is my enemy. Realizing I’ve been holding in my breath for a while, I let out some air and try to release the tightness in my muscles. I continue reading.

Lee Taeyong. Born July 1st, 2071-- he’s the around the same age as me at 25 years old. Graduated from an international high school in 2087. Graduated from a top Seoul university with a PhD in Biomedical Sciences in 2092. So he was done with high school at 16 and university at 21. Started Pearl Park 2093 as a starting job, and of course he still works here due to the disaster. Quite a remarkable career especially having an average of 426 surgeries a year since he started at this clinic. Absolutely phenomenal... that’s at least a thousand surgeries so far, depending on how 2094 impacted his work. Though so young, he certainly has the experience and professionalism to perform surgeries that could’ve been life or death. So perhaps he really is a force to be reckoned with, not some random scientist who just wants to fool around with an experiment. Especially with human life. With this information at hand, there must be a reason behind turning Lucas into some type of mechanical entity. Scrunching my face as my thoughts go into overdrive, I try to come up with a conjecture on this man’s motives. Do I go the route of the worst or the best case scenario? My session of attempted reasoning suddenly ceases as a booming voice hits against the door of the room. I’m not sure what he’s saying, but I burst into action as I rip out Dr. Lee’s page, shove the folder back into the cabinet sloppily, and hide myself behind a tall cabinet away from the door. At the sound of a loud click, I still my whole body, frozen as I listen for any more noise. The door seems to close behind the person with a loud thud. Instant recognition. The person’s voice is, with no doubt, Dr. Lee.

“Why don’t they clean this piece of shit room up, it’s a fucking dump in here... Let’s see.” The opening and closing file cabinets, shuffling papers, and soft, incoherent mumbling permeates the room. No more than a few minutes and he leaves. Before I move from my position, I puff my cheeks and push out the air from holding my breath again for what felt like eternity. Making sure for another thirty seconds that absolutely no one is there, I come away from my hiding spot and examine the medical staff’s cabinet. There’s one more thing that should be checked-- if my file and Lucas’s are in there. If we do have a record and his is missing, this could be an issue and a surefire sign I can’t trust Dr. Lee. Leafing through the files again, to my surprise, there is an updated 2095 folder towards the back of the cabinet for newer medical staff. Pearl Park isn’t considered a big professional clinic to come to. It’s dingy at best, so this comes a bit of a shock. I’d been expecting no records after the disaster as the clinic is critically understaffed. Teeth grasp at my bottom lip, my hands hovering over the binder cover. Here we go. After turning many, many pages, I find the Assistants page and see our names. My file doesn’t look like much as it contains basic information, when my shifts are, and the duties I originally had appointed to me when I started working. According to the list of all employee names, Lucas should be in here, supposedly a few pages after mine. Wong Yukhei. However, there is only remnants of paper stuck to the binder’s rings

Dr. Lee ripped his page out.

▶ Ambience

It feels strange to act like everything’s normal. Here I am, sitting next to Sicheng and Lucas as we make fun of pissy customers at Electric Egg and laughing ourselves silly. While our outside conversation makes me feel a little more at ease, the fact that Lucas’s information could be used for no good is begging to be released from my thoughts. I want to spill so much at this very moment with Lucas right here, but dragging Sicheng into this mess isn’t necessary. I’ll have to wait until dinner is done. Lucas distributes his tea eggs between the three of us, and we devour them before he has to leave for, well, whatever he needs to go to. Now’s my chance. As Lucas stands, I raise my voice, “I’ll stay behind with Sicheng for a bit. Come back home safely.” He beams at my comment, patting me on the back to comfort me. Without another word, he heads out of the street, turning the corner as Sicheng and I watch his shape slowly disappear. Sicheng taps me on the hand to get me to stop spacing out.

Sicheng takes on a soothing tone as he expresses his concern, “You sure you’re okay? You’ve been spacing out randomly...” Through the slightly sweaty bangs from cooking all day, I take in his worried face. Tilting his head after a moment of no response, he sighs. “I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but you’re not this quiet with us. You can tell me what’s wrong.” I nod, my eyes holding their focus on the table where the last tea egg lies.

“I can’t tell you anything more than except...” I delay the rest of what I want to say, I wasn’t without doubt if I should even bring up the conundrum. But alas, the bottled up information in me needed some form of freedom from my system. I decide it may be alright to let him know what’s happening at the surface of it all. “There’s something odd going on between Lucas and one of the doctors at the clinic. I can’t shake off the bad feeling I’m having, and I don’t mean to be nosy. But Lucas is important and I want to make sure he’s okay. You know he’s typically an open book, but I can’t read him anymore.” That was a lot to knock out of me, but to have someone else see why I’m so worried creates some kind of validation for the emotions rushing through my head. I realize how selfish I sound. I shrink into myself, waiting for Sicheng to say something. Anything.

Instead of silence, he scoots his chair closer to mine and I force myself to hold in a laugh because of the embarrassment from the loud noise. “I’m sure he has his reasons. You, him, and I. We’ve been friends for a couple of years now, Lucas isn’t the type to just leave anyone hanging without reason. Whatever it is, we need to be patient with him. As for you, you need to let things be from time to time.” He sits up straighter, leans forward, and continues, “You work hard with two jobs. Take care of yourself first and foremost. He’s his own person, you are your own. Don’t add to your mountain of stress.” Those are words I needed to hear, though they hurt. This whole idea that my best friend is turning into a cyborg seems to be a big deal, but for the sake of Sicheng’s safety, I can’t disclose that. Nonetheless, it does feel a bit... obsessive in retrospect. It’s a complicated state of affairs, and I don’t think Sicheng would be able to follow. It’s a see-for-yourself kind of deal. Not at all blaming him, his heart is in the right place. I give a simple head-shake, turning my attention to the last tea egg again. Gingerly, I pick it up and hand it to him.

His eyes open up in confusion. I let out the repressed laugh from earlier, a little heartier than I expected. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to dump this all on you. And I’ll work on focusing on myself more, you’re right. Lucas is a grown person, he can act on his own and tell me when he’s ready.” Sicheng loosens up, his hand extending to take the tea egg cupped in my hand. After taking a small bite, he gleams a big and toothy smile. As thanks, he lets me have the rest of the treat as one of the other employees at Electric Egg call for him to come back and work the stall.

▶ Ambience

Removing himself from his seat to stand up, he delicately flicks my forehead. He bids me a good night and says, “Take it easy, okay? It’s still Saturday, go get some sleep or go dance in your room, whatever it is you do these days.” We both send each other a tender laugh before parting ways. With a goodbye, I get up from my seat and head towards the direction of the apartment. It’s all smiles walking for a few minutes, reflecting on Sicheng’s words. My body felt a little lighter from releasing at least a small portion of my feelings. It starts to drizzle, a feeling I’ve always liked in Neostone but never when it pours too hard-- especially without an umbrella. I reach the last corner leading to my place when a downpour manifests. At the ping of my pocket, I quickly reach for my phone and take cover under a nearby entryway into a convenience store. Shit. Acid rain right now? My thumb gravitates to my messages. I should text Lucas and Sicheng to make sure they’re okay. I call Sicheng first to see if he’ll pick up. He does, sending a wave of relief through me as he says he’s safe in the closest store. On the other hand, Lucas did not pick up. I’m starting to wonder if this will be the new normal from now on. Panicking a bit, I text him and hope for the best, that he’s somewhere safe from the rain. The rain today is sort of acidic, I got an alert on my phone. Make sure you’re in a building. Send. We both keep the read receipts on, so if he doesn’t respond but sees my text, I might have to scold him the next time I see that annoying guy. I shove my phone back into my pocket and promptly took out the piece of paper that holds Dr. Lee’s information. I gawk at it, contemplating why I ever took it, and look back up. Fuck.

Staring in disbelief, the world around me slows. Cars pass by in slow motion and the neon signs twinkle in harmony by blending together. It’s the very same apartment establishment listed in the file. It’s a bit fancier than ours, which makes sense. Dr. Lee makes a bit more money than the rest of us. Fuck what Sicheng said, I need to see what’s happening with that suspicious doctor. Without further ado, I trudge through the acid rain, though I know it stings a little on my skin. It’s not too bad. Taxi cabs flip their middle fingers up at me, passersby calling out to warn or scold me, all while I snake through the lines of vehicles and cuss words thrown all around. The crackle of bright neon flicker crescendos as I come closer. Finally, I step foot onto the other side of the street, finding a heightening urge to find out the truth. Inside the lobby, the interior also seems to hold more life and care in it. This is definitely a more well-off micro-apartment complex than the one Lucas and I live in. The receptionist greets me warmly, a stark contrast from the subtle waves from the one we have. She doesn’t seem to question where I’m going or if I needed help, however, so I come to the staircase and take myself up to the tenth floor-- a very long way up.

▶ Ambience

Good grief, that was worse than the staircase at ours, I complain in my head, heaving heavy breaths as my feet begin to feel sore. I’ve reached the top. The address claims that Dr. Lee lives in room 1027. The gold colored plates on doors boast numbers in a sophisticated font, ascending as I progress the halls. Here it is. I approach the door, careful not to be any louder than I am right now, and I press an ear on the door. Muffled voices, one of them has to be Lucas. I can recognize his deep voice from a mile away. He has a tendency to mumble if he talks for too long, words becoming muddled. It’s like when he’s tired from work and almost crashes in my room, talking nonsense until I finally kick him out. From my pocket, I pull out a couple of paperclips and begin to bend them. Sicheng taught me this trick when we stole a bottle of painkillers from one of the pharmacies in Neostone’s uptown. One of my friends got injured during a fight between food stalls, and we were desperate to help him out. These kinds of skills really help out in this kind of life though I never imagined it was going to be this way. Click, click, click. The soft pop of the lock makes my heart race, and not in a pleasant way. Carefully, I turn the knob and push, using all the strength in my body not to cause a ruckus with my entrance. The sound of an electric drill becomes more apparent as the door swivels to give way to the apartment. It’s a lie when I said it’s a bit fancier. It’s way more lavish with a retro-futuristic style with warm colored furniture and decorations. There has to be some reason Dr. Lee can afford to continue living here since Pearl Park isn’t the biggest clinic and is located in quite a rough area. They don’t pay employees much, only an ample amount to get by with food and shelter. Maybe he was able to get a lot of money before the disaster happened. Enough with the admiration, I thought we’re past the need for capitalism, I reprimand myself. 

There’s no Dr. Lee or Lucas in the parlor, but the whine of the drill grows as I explore further into the apartment, noticing the several doors. One clearly has lights on as the door is open, bingo. It must be them. Inching closer as quietly as I can, I hear Lucas lightly groan. Heart beating faster, I reach the room and squeeze through in case the door would make noise. Half of the room is blocked by a bulky bookcase which I hide behind, peeking through one of the cracks to look at the other side. What I see is horrendous-- Lucas sits on a reclined chair, thankfully unrestrained. Profusely sweating and wincing from pain, his jaw tightens as he clenches his teeth while Dr. Lee works another screw into his shoulder. In the most monotonous voice, he says to Lucas, “That should be enough for the shoulder. Think I’ll add more joints in your fingers so they have more flexibility. I was able to design more realistic-looking phalanges the other day, want to try?” Lucas simply nods at the notion, much to my disgust. Should I make my next move? Should I leave? I stand a bit higher on the tips of my toes to see more clearly.

Suddenly, the arm attached to Lucas begins to beep alarmingly. “The heat sensor... who’s there?” Lucas queries. Dr. Lee looks around the room, spinning in his chair while Lucas stands and starts to wander around the space. The staccato tones rapidly sound as Lucas takes long strides towards the bookcase, pulling out a few books to expose half of my face. His face crumples into anger at my presence. “Why are you here... Did you follow me?” I gulped. This is not good. Behind Lucas comes the other man, swiping books off the shelves to get a better sense of who’s behind the bookcase. His eyes open up more in surprise.

“You’re from the clinic.” he says firmly and quickly balls up the shirt on my shoulder into his fist, pulling me from my spot. The other hand reaches at his back behind a tattered lab coat to reveal a revolver, the one often seen in old classic films. Our eyes lock on each other, his fired up with murderous intent and wrath. The cold metal presses onto my forehead, but I keep my focus on his face. Lucas yelps on the side, but doesn’t come closer as to not escalate this whole situation. “An assistant. Why are you here? How did you get in?” My hands drift in the direction of the ceiling, a signal of surrender. Visibly shaken, Lucas taps the doctor on the shoulder and interrupts.

“[Pronoun] is a good friend of mine. Please don’t do anything rash, [pronoun] can be put to good use.” Lucas claims. I examine him with confusion written all over my expression, though he holds his guarded stare at Dr. Lee. I’m beyond dismayed that Lucas would try propose that I can be made into a pawn in whatever the motherfucker is planning. That might mean taking Lucas’s place with substitution of my flesh with peculiar machinery, or being the one to help out with Lucas’s... transformation. In any case, there’s no way I’d accept those fates. Dr. Lee maintains eye contact with me, but moves the gun from my face to his side. On cue, a sigh exiting my mouth.

He laughs rather nonchalantly, the clutch on his gun tighter despite being on the side. He’s ready to kill someone. “It’s tough doing things on my own, I do need another hand. Human hands, I must add.” Another chuckle echoes through the room, the unbearable discomfort consuming my emotions. Continuing on, the man adds, “I’m appointing you as my messenger. Send information to my other colleagues, then you may stay alive and see Lucas everyday. However.” Always a catch. The fist that kept me in my place releases the fabric that was bundled in it. It travels to the gun, the cock of the weapon raising my alertness. Though physically there’s no restraint on me, one wrong move and I’m dead. “If you can’t follow through with my instructions, expect a bullet wound or worse.” Absolutely out of his mind. But he leaves me having to accept this offer. Briefly, I steal a glance at Lucas whose angrily knit brows now angle upwards in a worried manner. I can’t die here, and the need for strength increases knowing Lucas might not be able to handle the pain of seeing me shot. He needs me.

Dr. Lee tilts his head, waiting for a response. The loaded gun taunts me, his impatience showing when he starts tapping it against his waist. Pursing my lips, I come to the only choice I could make. Shakily, my voice raises to both Lucas and the doctor’s surprise, “I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you tell me to do.” Speaking it into existence is the last thing I want, but I’m already neck deep into shit that doesn’t directly involve me. Might as well drown in what I’ve started. He snickers in delight, earning puzzled looks from Lucas and me. Leaving us near the bookcase, he saunters to his chair, taking a seat. His grip on the gun subsides, putting the small killing machine on his desk littered with papers with the big red classified stamped all over them. The silence weighs down on us before it’s broken by the doctor, his hands folded together with the most poisonous smirk playing across his lips.

“Just call me Taeyong.” He fiddles with a pen from his desk and continues,