one thing they never tell you about losing someone / is that you'll never love the same

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one thing they never tell you about losing someone / is that you'll never love the same

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i talk to myself
i talk to myself about myself
i never have anything good to say
yet i talk and i talk
every single day
Having an older brother is horrible
You grow up with them by your side
Carrying your heary and your troubles
As if they were his own
And you do the same back
If you're uncomfortable he's always there
Always, no matter what
And he knows, he always fucking knows
And then one day, suddenly, he's gone
He moves out, and you're left alone
In a house that's suddenly too big for you
With a gaping void, a black hole you once called his room
And out of the blue, you're alone
And you no longer have him besides you
All of a sudden you're to fill the void in the place you once called home
And all you can fill it with
is your troubled thoughts.
Sleep
I don't want to die
I want to live
I just don't want to live now.
I want to skip years ahead
To a better time
To a better life
To a better me
But I can't
So for now
I'll sleep
Waves
feelings come in waves, and often times i feel nothing at all
the ocean of feelings retreat into the nothingness of a dull heart
my waves are broken up, by dams built from childhood memories, memories i never got to make
i feel nothing, for the waves are too broken down to reach my soul
i feel nothing, until the moon shines, and the waves rise
and oh may the waves rise high enough to reach the stars so the lost ones can feel once more
feelings come in waves, and tonight, i am drowning

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
One day
one day when I was little
suddenly everything was gone
my childhood, my innocence,
nothing left intact
I woke up at night
and I opened my eyes
and I just started crying,
I don't think I ever stopped.
*Backwards thoughts*
Do you feel the same?
I miss you so much
My body aches for you
And you're all I think about
My stomach hurts when thinking about you
liking someone
I am afraid of the stronger word
Not afraid to say it about my sports
Or my hobbies
Or my interests
But I'm afraid when it's about you
I'm afraid you'll hate it
I'm afraid you'll missuse it
I'm afraid you'll see me differently
I'm afraid you'll tell your friends
I'm afraid you'll reject it
I'm afraid you'll reject me
More than all of that, I'm afraid you'll return it
I won't be able to stop myself
And I'll fall deeper and deeper into this abyss that is love and vulnerability
I'm afraid that what was once a four letter word will turn into a lifetime of pain and hurt
And then back to a word.