#t.h

“save it” He shook his head and stepped inside. His lumpy footsteps smacked up the stairs. I could feel my stomach knotting up, I could almost feel all my worry regurgitating in the back of my throat like a huge lump. I was sorry, I wanted Tom to believe me. Everyone was annoyed and it was all my fault. 

I cautiously followed Tom’s direction back inside. The central heating whirring on my skin. My jumped started falling, exposing my left shoulder and Burgundy bra. I yanked it up over my collarbone and pulled the soft sleeves over my hands. When I stepped back into the dining-room Sam, Paddy and Harry were helping Nikki collect all the dishes of food. They weren’t empty but I could tell everyone wanted to leave. I shoved a hand on one of the potato dishes and pulled it into the kitchen, following Paddy.

“I told you” He whispered at me. His comment made my hands shake even more, the spoon that was dug into the potatoes rattled against the bowl as I shook. Sweat tinged my palms. I placed the bowl next to the sink where Nikki was pouring soapy water over some stained trays. I turned away awkwardly and started amble back to the table. 

“It wasn’t your fault (y/n)” she muttered. She nodded at the boys and they cleared out of the kitchen. 

“I-I didn’t know” I stuttered in panic

“Stan’s family tried to keep it on the down low but if anyone knew about the fight they only knew it from Stan’s point of view” She tutted, if Stan did anything bad at school his parents made sure to cover it up. They pay and donate tons of money to the school so I can see why he is this pristine peppy person. Nikki rubbed a yellow sponge against a few plates until they were glimmering clean under the kitchen lamp. 

“I promise you I didn’t know they hated each other”

“sweetie, it really wasn’t your fault. I am just more worried about you and Stan’s relationship” She replied softly 

“I am going to try apologise”

“wait until tomorrow, he will have a good night sleep to cool off” She nodded

“I’m worried Nikki”

“about Stan?”

“about everything”

“Stan seems like a lovely boy but-“

“but what-?” I interrupted abruptly 

“he doesn’t depict you in a very good way, of course that doesn’t excuse Thomas’ behaviour”

“yeah, no, of course”

“but really (y/n), you are much better than he let’s people know” 

I nodded, Nikki was right. Stan always talked shit about me when I was there. I obviously didn't want to say anything. Stan had a mean temper, he could make you feel like you were doing something awful even if you weren’t. Somehow I still liked him. I had never had a boy notice me and be as kind to me as Stan was. He had his flaws but I always reminded myself that everyone did. Didn’t they?

Nikki smiled at me and I grinned feebly back.

“goworn, go back inside, the boy’s are there!” She joked

“thank you for the advice”

“anytime” she replied lowly “now! go, go, go try to enjoy your night for what it’s worth!” Nikki cupped some bubbles of liquid soap in her pruned fingers and blew them at me. I giggled as I lightly brushed them off the threads of my jumper. 

When I walked back inside Mum and Dad were talking to Harry and Sam and Paddy were chuckling softly at each other. I perched next to Sam and leaned into their conversation. 

“you alright?” Sam leaned next to the side of my head and mumbled in my ear. 

“yeah, don’t worry” I replied back toying with one of my braids. Sam, Paddy and I seeped into conversation whilst crunching on the cookies I made.

“these cookies were worth the wait” Paddy munched

“oi, pass us one!” Harry retorted, I grabbed the plastic container and shoved it in his direction. He smirked and fished a cookie out, placing it eagerly in his mouth. 

I was having fun, but I couldn’t help but think about Tom. The fact he was above me, sitting in his room, probably smoking a cigarette. I wanted to plead at him and tell him that I didn't know about him and Stan’s rivalry. At this point I knew he didn’t want to see my face. Though, I wanted to see his. 

“well (y/n), we better be off it’s getting late” My dad announced, stretching up from the mahogany table and nodding at Mum. I grinned at him and then proceeded to hug everyone goodbye. I saved Nikki for last, she pulled me into a strong hug and breathed into my ear.

“he will come around” I could feel her sense of knowing. I knew Tom would eventually speak or at least look at me again but the unknowingness of what he was thinking about me rocked my head back and forth. 

I waved all of them goodbye and then we all walked back to the house. All of us stepped in awkward silence, Dad stared at the ground. I could tell both of them didn't know what to say, neither did I really. They didn’t know that Stan had slapped me, no one did except Tom. Which hurt. I wanted to tell them but I didn't want them to react badly. Mum unlocked the front door and I quickly ran up the stairs to my room. I didn’t want to have any more conversations about what happened. I slapped down onto my mattress and stared up at the ceiling. 

“shit” I whispered clutching my cheek, for some reason in started stinging more. I sat up looking over at the mirror on my vanity. One half of my face was bright red. I looked away in shock and pulled off my sweater. My body started heating up and stinging in raw emotion. 

I yanked every item of clothing clinging to my body and flung open the wooden door to my bathroom. I hopped eagerly into the shower and drenched my body in cool water. It soothed the hairs on my skin but my head still felt heavy and limp. I pulled out my braids and washed the ringlets away. It was like washing every inch of what had happened away, but it still was imprinted in my head. My hand on Tom’s chest, Stan’s comments about me, everything repeated and chimed in my ears. I squeezed soap onto my hand and washed my arms and legs, the liquid spreading over me. I washed it away quickly with the shower head and then stepped out of the shower, wrapping a white towel around me. I went over to the sink washing my hands and cupping water onto my hot cheeks. I looked up and spotted myself. Around my neck was the diamond that Stan gifted me earlier that day, I would never have thought at that point that any of what happened would have. 

My hands felt for my wide toothed comb and I brushed out my damp strands. I pulled my towel off my torso and ruffled it at the ends of my hair. My hands curved around the diamond honeyed in the dip of my neck. It felt almost toxic against my skin, like Stan was still there. I undid the clasp and shoved it into my soap dish. Later, I tugged out my navy blue pyjama set from under my pillow and pulled it on. I could hear Mum and Dad slipping quietly up the stairs and shutting their door from across the hall. I yanked out my tucked sheets and slid in between them, rubbing my feet against the crisp, white mattress cover. I leant over and switched off my lamp, rolling over into my usual position. On my bedside table were the books I was reading. I usually dipped in and out of a few at a time. I had read so many that I needed different stories each night to cure my boredom. I picked out the great Gatsby and turned my fingers under the thin, brown papery pages.

Cold light coming from my window kept me awake. It streamed through the slit of between my thick curtains. I stared longingly at its reflection on my carpet. Tom. He was awake. I pushed my feet into my carpet and walked over, peeking through. My alarm clock blared. 5:09. Tom’s bedroom light was on. I couldn’t see him but waited eagerly for his body to appear through the glass. I watched him pace across to his little brown desk, a stick nudged in-between his fingers and a cigarette in his mouth. I then realised the stick was a paint brush, I watched him stroke it up and down on his desk. He would pull his little painting book up every so often and gaze at it intently. Dragging more smoke out of his cigarette, to almost draw out more ideas that pulsated through his creative fingers.  

I spent Sunday morning waiting for a phone call or maybe even a text. Staring at my phone, my knees hugged to my chest. My phone started ringing from my beside table and I quickly picked it up, glaring at the notification. It was Z. I sighed but opened the call anyways.

“hello?” Z echoed 

“hey”

“how was last night?”

“shit”

“oh no…” she cooed “what happened?”

“-Z is it okay if I just tell you tomorrow, I am trying to get homework done” I blurted out sternly

“yeah, yeah of course sure” She replied softly “see you tomorrow”

I ended the call and stared down at my sheets, swirling my eyes over the patterned material. I felt to the side of my bed and pulled my curtains open trying to avoid eye contact with Tom’s house. I couldn’t not look at what was right in front me. My eyes analysed the white wood planks making up his outside fence. Then I looked up at his brown window pane. His navy curtains were yanked shut, with no light streaming through. My heart twisted. Ignoring it was so difficult, it was like leaving an open wound to bleed to death. I perched on my desk chair trying to focus my mind of the geometry homework. I just couldn’t think about anything other than what I had caused the night before. 

My pen hung limply in my fingers, staining my blank sheet of lined paper with its black tip. My laptop was rested on top of my geometry textbook so I pulled it off and lifted it’s light silver lid. I scrolled through my emails and came across one from Stan’s family. 

Stanley T Thompson invites you to the annual Thompson family harvest ball 

Friday October 1st 19:00

The invite was written in digital swirls with a dress code printed at the bottom

Dress code : finest dresses and suits

I didn’t really have anything which suited the party. All my outfits were mostly slouchy and casual with a few dresses I wore to family member reunions. I mulled my fingers over my mousepad and then picked my phone up again.

I hope you have been invited to the Thompson Ball!! Dress shopping today? I’ll tell you everything - (y/i) 

I texted Z

sure, come outside at 3 I’ll drive you into town - Z

I have nothing to wear!! - (y/i)

Me neither AND Bradley is going!!! - Z

Bradley Thyme had joined our school that year. He was preppy and dashing just like Stan. With thick black hair and caramel skin. He was born in Germany but his family were from Argentina. His lips erupted with a smooth accent anytime I heard his voice. Him and Stan became firm friends immediately and of course Z started swooning over him, planning imaginary double dates with us both. 

Ooo better dress nice ;) - (y/i)

His family owned a tire company and Stan’s owned a huge country club and golf course. Both of their families became firm friends when the Thyme’s offered to supply tires for all the golf buggies at the club. If Stan wasn’t spending time with me at his house it was at the country club. That summer I had gotten exceptionally good at golf with the help of Stan. We would swim and sip cocktails all day every day until the sun went down, then in the evening we would play chess in front of the heated fireplace. Stan would hold parties full of boxed wine and croquet, it felt so surreal. Stan made me feel like I fitted in with his crowd but I knew I really didn’t. 

I quickly finished up my Geometry homework, checking over my measurements over and over just like Stan had taught me. I pulled off my pyjama set and dressed in thick black leggings with a red hoodie over the top. I tucked my hair up into a messy ponytail and brushed out my eyebrows. It was a crisp cold day so I put on my fluffy navy Ugg boots. I ran bouncily down the stairs, phone in hand. Mum was at the kitchen counter chopping carrots. 

“where are you off to?” She smirked, snapping the knife down onto the plastic material.

“I’m going dress shopping with Z”

“aghhhh I see” she cooed, her lips curling at each corner. “is this for the Thompson's ball?”

“yeah”

“your father and I have been invited”

“really!” I grinned happily

“but we can’t go” my dad announced from the sofa

“why not hun?” My mum asked 

“We have our annual camping trip”

“oh come on Dad, I have to go!” I pleaded in a whine

“I guess you could stay behind whilst we go?” Mum wondered

“Not alone” Dad pressed

“You could stay with the Hollands?” Mum suggested. My gut sank, I hadn’t stayed over at the Hollands house since I was little. Whenever I did they made it feel very homely, but that wasn’t what I was worried about.

“are you sure sweetie? Even after-“ Dad grumbled

“-no, no Dad it’s fine!” I interrupted “I have to go but I’ll see you guys later” 

“Be back for dinner at seven”

“okay bye!”

I walked out into the thick misty air and looked down the front steps. Z had parked her black Toyota outside Tom’s house. I ran over, my feet echoing on the concrete ground. As I neared her she rolled her window down.

“hey bitch!” She joked

“hey!” I hollered, slipping down next to her. Her seats were warm and leathery. 

“tell me everything” she pressed, twisting her key and warming the engine awake. 

On the way to town I retold the whole night to Z, the only thing I missed out was the fact Stan had slapped me. I knew she would tell me to break up with him but at this point he was the only thing keeping me going apart from her. 

“Stan was being a bit of an arse” she commented “but Tom wow he got protective maybe he-“

“no he doesn’t!”

“I didn’t even finish!”

“I knew what you were gonna say!”

“It could be thing!” She smirked silverly 

“he couldn’t like me, he basically hates everyone!”

“still, it could be a Mr Darcy moment!”

“Pride and Prejudice…really Z?”

“Yes! I mean he could be hiding all his emotions but secretly falling deeply for you. No boy would just do that for a girl unless there were some feelings”

“I refuse Z! He was just being protective, he is practically family to me”

“mhmmmmm” she hummed refusingly. I rolled my eyes and stared out at the passing roads and trees. 

We entered town and parked outside the huge brick post office full of bustling people. I stepped out into the street and watched the warm bodies pass me by. 

“Ruthanns?” Z suggested

“sure” I replied fruitily. Ruthann's was a huge dress shop on the corner of the main street. It was run by Ruthann herself, she was an old spindly women with long fingers and nails. All her dresses were carefully picked and sewn but sold at a good price. Although I hadn’t bought anything from there she knew Z and I very well, we had done an internship there a few summers ago. We stitched moth holes and steamed dresses all day long until our hands were numb. 

I walked through the warm glass into the dress filled walls. 

“(y/n)?” I heard a croaky, disembodied voice announced “ooo and Zendaya!”

“Ruthann!” Z cooed when we spotted her, her back was even more hunched before but her face and cheeks were still spritely and young.

“are you here for dresses?”

“yup!” I replied bouncily

“I knew you were coming!” 

“you did?” Z wondered

“yes! As soon as the invites for the ball came out people burst into my shop with questions”

“what questions?” I asked eagerly, Ruthann walked us back behind her counter. The back room was filled with all the freshly packed dresses and unfinished ones under sewing machines. 

“everyone wanted to know what you were wearing” she cackled breathily

“me?”

“yes! You!” Z announced from behind me

“why?” I laughed awkwardly 

“well, you are the one going out with Stanley Thompson no?”

“Yes” I muttered

“well, he is the most dashing in the town so”

“I guess” I mumbled feebly, Ruthann made every single event and dress sound like it belonged in a fairytale 

“I saved two dresses for you two!” She enunciated, her long fingers felt around to a small hidden rack with dresses covered in black plastic. “here” she said handing each of us our dress. “now go go go!” She ushered us to the warmly lit dressing room. I pulled shut the mahogany wooded door and started taking off my slouching clothes. I ripped off the plastic coating to unveil a light wash blue embellished dress, it had silky sleeves with open shoulders. The skirt was silky and blowy. I almost gasped when my eyes analysed every inch of it. I pulled it out and undid the zip, sticking my bare legs through and fastening it at the side. I pushed it around a bit, making sure it was placed rightly. I looked up into the mirror. It fit perfectly, clinging to my every dip and curve. The sleeves had small clasps and the ends so that they stayed in place. I clipped them shut and looked up again.

“is everything okay?” Ruthann asked through the wood of the door

“yes” I muttered

“come out and let’s see! Z’s fits perfectly”

I turned around and turned the silver doorknob. Ruthann and Z gasped as soon as they saw me.

“Woah” Z cooed, her dress was pale pink that matched her darker toned skin. It had an embellished and sequinned bodice and thick skirt which jutted outwards at her waist.

“I love your dress Z!”

“Thank you!” She grinned spinning around

“well girls pack them up and leave before anyone see’s you!” Ruthann shoved us back into the dressing rooms. I packed my dress up and stepped back out. Z and I approached the cash desk as Ruthann typed in the amounts. Loud shouts could be heard through the front glass window. They got louder and louder, Z nudged me hard in my side and I looked up. She nodded behind her and I peered over her shoulder. Through the window I could see Tom’s shiny black motorbike perched on the edge of the car. He was brawling with two other guys. His face was thick with anger. The guys were yanking at his shoulders and Tom was retaliating with his fists. One of the guys started punching at Tom’s stomach. I could hear his faint grunts of agony. His face fell in an uneasy state. Tom pulled through and started punching both of them.

“Is that-?” Z asked

“-Tom” I whispered in a breathy panic. 

Tom’s lip was cut, a thin vein of blood festered down his chin and dropped onto his white shirt. It seemed he was doing more damage to them though. Tom yanked one of the guys to the ground, kicking violently at his stomach. A monster grew out of him. The other guy tried pulling him away but Tom elbowed him away. A siren erupted from behind him and an officer wrapped his arms tightly around Tom buckling his thrashing hands behind his back. Two other officers tended to the wounded guys and Tom was yanked over to the sheriffs car. I rushed out of the store pressing my hands firmly into the glass door. I tried catching a last glimpse of Tom. The officer shouted at the angry Tom, he placed a stern hand on his head pushing him down into the blacked out car. 

“Tom!” I hollered

“Tom!” I repeated louder, his eyes gazed up into my own. Dark and full like two blood moons. He yanked his head further up and carried on looking at me. The officer was too strong for his push, so he then pushed him further down into the car. My heart pounded, trying to reach for him. I walked out of Ruthanns in a hot flush, the police car drove away before I could reach him and plead. Everyone around me was looking. 

“exc-excuse me ma’am you shouldn’t be here” a female officer announced in my face

“that was my my…”

“your?”

“my brother” I blurted

“well ma’am, you should keep your brother on a leash” she cackled spitefully

“do you know where he went?”

“the station” She announced, I immediately started walking to the station without Z. “ma’am!”

“yes?”

“he left his coat, if you want it?”

“yeah” I smiled feebly. I strutted over quickly and violently grabbed Tom’s leathery jacket out of her rough hands. My body was cold so I pulled it over my shoulders and through my arms, reaching my shaking hands into both pockets. My fingers twisted around one of the cigarettes he left. It was still warm and burnt at one end. 

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“What do you want to do young Spider-Man?” I inquired. “Can we work on math?” August says with a big smile on his face. “I would love to help! You know Peter is great at math and science, so maybe when you grow up you can be my guy in the chair?” I tell him. “But Ned is your guy in the chair,” he imposes. “Well by the time you are old enough, he is probably going to be in university,” I inform him. He smiles and we go to do some math. The kid really was smart, he was only two and he understood square root. “Okay so the square root of 654 is?” I read the question out loud. “427 716” he replies after he thought for a few seconds. I took out my phone and did the calculation to find that it was correct, while I did that he wrote it down on the line. “That’s correct,” I tell him and he smiles. After we worked on the other books for two hours, we decided it was time to have a snack. We had some carrot sticks, so I decided that I was going to have some fun. I put the carrots stick in my mouth, so it looked like I was a walrus. August laughed and did the same thing; we had fun playing around like walruses. “Can we do some more French work?” he asks. I nod my head and get the French book out. The exercise was to write a sentence with the word given.

I explain to him the exercise and read him the first word, “Okay so make a sentence with Quackson in it.” “That’s not how you say it, its croissant. Je veux manger un croissant,” he says as he writes out the sentence. “That’s what I said” I tell him. “No, you said Quack and son. That’s different from croissant,” he explains to me. “Okay, whatever you say,” I say. Once we finished the exercises, I decided it was time to eat lunch. “What do you want to eat for lunch?” I ask him. “Greggs,” he yells excitedly. “Great, I love Greggs. I used to go all the time when I was in secondary school. What do you want?” I reminisce. “I love Greggs too. My mommy and I walk there whenever we go,” he says happily. "Okay, well why don’t we walk down there. Do you know where it is?” I question. He nods his head and we make our way over to Greggs. We got lunch and decided that we would eat in the park, after we played in the park. “August, who’s your second favourite superhero?” I inquire. “Scarlet Witch. Mommy says that she is the strongest Avenger because in Infinity War, she was able to hold off Thanos with one head for a while,” he explains in a matter of fact way. It was so cute, you can really tell that he is a mommy’s boy and it’s really sweet. “Really? You don’t think Spider-Man is the strongest Avenger. I’m a little hurt, but Scarlet Witch is pretty strong,” I pout trying to get a reaction from him. “Spider-Man is strong, but couldn’t hold off Thanos like Wanda did. I’m sorry, it’s just the truth. Can you push me on the swings please?” he continues to clarify.

After we finished at the park, we went back to the apartment and decided that we wanted to watch a movie. “What movie do you want to watch?” I interrogate. “Spider-Man: Homecoming!” he screams. I smile and put the movie on; we sat down on the couch and watched. I look down at him to see that he was mouthing the words with the character. After a while he moved over to sit on my lap, I smile down at him and he yawned. A few minutes into the movie we both fell asleep on the couch with the movie still playing.

I unlock the door to my apartment to see the cutest thing ever. Tom was asleep on the couch with August sitting on his lap sleeping as well, I could hear Spider-Man: Homecoming playing softly in the background. I sat down beside them and gently shake them awake. Both their eyes flutter open and they both smiled at me. “Mommy!” August yells as he gives me a hug. “Hey, baby! I missed you so much. How was he today?” I question while I sat beside Tom. “He was great! We did the books for 2 hours and then had a snack while we pretended to be walruses. That was fun. Then we went to go get some food at Greggs, ate at the park, and then we watched the movie. Finally we fell asleep,” Tom informs me of their busy day. “Well, that’s nice. Would you like to eat dinner with us? I am making fish and chips,” I ask him. “Yeah, I would love too!” Tom replies. They restarted the movie to watch while I cooked the food. Once dinner was ready I called them to the table, and we sat down like a family just like I’ve always wanted. We had a nice conversation during dinner, and when we were finished, Tom and I cleared the table while August play in the living room.

“So, (Y/N). I was wondering if you wanted to go out on a date with me. You are a great woman, and you raised a very smart and amazing kid. I can’t help but want to be a part of your life in a different way,” Tom asks me. I couldn’t believe him, I told him when we first met that I was not ready. I was not ready for this and this was starting to freak me out. It reminded me of August’s father and he really did some damage on me. I started crying for no reasons, and I ran off to my bed room.

“August stay in here, while I go talk to your mommy,” I advise him. “Okay, but why is my mommy sad?” August asks in a worried tone. “I don’t know. I’m going to go find out,” I inform him while I head to her room.