#t log

Effects I like:

General improvement in baseline mood

General improvement in energy

Slight lowering of voice

Building muscle even though I haven’t been doing much exercise

Effects I am neutral on:

Facial hair a little darker (am shaving once a week to get the really clean-shaven look)

Redistribution of fat from ass and thighs to stomach (structured women’s pants are NOT fitting me anymore) 

Bottom growth (it’s fine I guess)

Increase in libido 

Negative effects:

Acne :(

Maybe hair thinning??? It’s just a little bit if so, but I can’t tell if it’s androgenic thinning or if getting covid made me have autoimmune hair loss. I’m going to the dermatologist to find out I guess

Have not noticed yet:

Body hair growth

Increased body odor/sweat

Increased body temperature

Stopped menstrual cycle

I have started to grow the tiniest thinnest moustache on the outer corners. I've never had to shave/ pluck my moustache before in my life and did it a few days ago, it burns! I'm trying to get comfortable with the idea of being able to grow one and I don't think I would hate it actually

Got a comment today that my jaw looks sharper but I don't notice that personally

Voice has definitely dropped more, feel pretty confident in a mask if I try hard with my voice about """passing""". Friends also notice a difference with my voice

Chest acne is definitely a thing

Face is breaking out a bit more and still very oily

I feel more pressure mentally to bind-- feel pretty uncomfortable without a binder on in public whereas pre T I didn't experience that as much

Starting to grow a tiny tiny happy trail!!!!

Not any more tired, smelly, or hungry *nsfw under cut

Hello . I’m a nonbinary butch lesbian, and I’m going to be doing a journal of my experience taking T on this blog.

Let’s get stuck into it.

Why am I doing this? Because all the T progress journals I was able to find were made by trans men. Which makes sense! Most people that take T are trans men. There are some journals made by nonbinary people, but not specifically butch people, and that’s the angle I want this journal to be coming from. This won’t just be about what the T does physically, but how it interacts with my identity as a nonbinary butch lesbian. This is to help better inform people about the age old occurrence of butch lesbians undergoing hrt, as well as help out any butch’s considering pursuing hrt that are unsure and want some information actually tailored to their experience.

Why do you want to go on T if you’re a lesbian?

It’s a complicated matter, and one that I wouldn’t be able to comprehensively cover within this post. But essentially: many lesbians experience physical dysphoria while still experiencing a very lesbian-esque connection to womanhood; a sort of alienation, a sort of redefinition of womanhood, which is inextricably linked to hetero-patriarchy. I have felt a very real physical dysphoria since I was young, but I have no connection to or desire to connect to men. I’m butch. I never really made sense to myself or others until I really read and came to learn about what that meant. (Thank you, Stone Butch Blues.) This experience isn’t new, and has always existed throughout lesbian history. I encourage anyone skeptical or interested to do their own research! :)

Why do you feel such a drastic measure is necessary even though you aren’t a trans man?

Well, I’m nonbinary either way - I’m certainly not cis. For me, physical dysphoria is my biggest reason; I don’t experience any strong social dysphoria, but I have experienced physical dysphoria since I was at least 10, perhaps younger. I’ve been interested in accessing hrt since I was 14. I’m turning 23 in a little over a month. I’m going into this having considered everything pretty thoroughly. I will go into the specifics of my dysphoria, my gender identity as it stands, and what I want from T in the next post - I will be well and truly giving the world too much information. But someones gotta !!