#sys4singlet

We're Cherry or Haven collectively, we're the Love Haven Collective and we're an OSDD system (we're also diagnosed with BPD. we self regulate but BEWARE you may become one of our collective fps) (also some of our bpd holders use the term yandere and are what one would stereotypically call an "evil alter" but theyre not bad people, just really intense and emotional at times)

We're ftm bigender and queer. most of us are like- hyperfemme and have varied orientations. most prefer masculine presenting partners to complement us, tho gender doesnt rlly matter, but thats not NEEDED yk? he/she pronouns collectively + neos

We're 17 as of rn (turning 18 in july 11th 2026). PLEASE be 17-19 (a bit older is okay, we'd rather not date younger ppl than us tho)

We're Argentinean and speak spanish aswell as english (just a fun fact! we have no preference with where ur from)(tho we do like talking abt our culture and such)

We're VERY into musical theater and will study scenic arts starting on 2027. We also watch SOME anime and donghua (mainly Link Click for the latter)(also havent seen many animes BUT if we like you we'd LOVE to watch ur favorite animes with you wink wink <3)

We really like playing games like minecraft or roblox where we can play together <3 but we also like watching you play games or vice versa! just know our laptop is a bit slow and cant handle heavy modded servers or high graphic games etc etc. WE DO plan on getting a better pc in the future but thats for now

WE LOVE DOING VCS once we get to know eachother for like a few days/weeks, and sending voice notes!

We prefer to be treated as both individuals and a collective like we like idk collective assignments and like "my wife/husband/spouse" to refer to all of us aswell as yknow getting to know us individually and - etc etc you get it

We dont care abt syscourse, like straight up dont wanna talk abt that shit. we ARE very uncomfortable with darkships collectively but some of us are kinda "into that stuff" due to source or other shit so like. if ur very anti and will shame them dni but also if ur gonna expose the rest of us to it also dni cause its like seriously a nuanced topic for us?

ALSO one of our life goals IS to get married, YOU dont have to be the one, but do know WE will be looking for THE ONE to marry, nothing personal with you, but rather WE really prioritize it because its a life long goal.

The Future As It Was

Realistically speaking our partner is our highschool sweetheart, and anyone who has half a brain may be familiar with the fact that those typically do NOT work out. You have the love and the care, but once you make it to adulthood it's clear what their path will be. Our partner is unemployed and with no further education, but we were alright with that as we had only just got out of highschool and some people take a gap year. We were one of the unlucky ones who was pushed into college by strict parents. Freshly into social media after being grounded for ages, we mostly overindulged in YouTube and breifly discord. We eventually started online college albeit not without struggle.

We had to move due to being a military family, which sprung the idea of renting a place. We never did. We had it planned and never followed through.

We moved, and he was okay going long distance. It's been over a year. We are are his first partner.

Syscovery

While looking into servers we recently wanted to learn about systems. Our old host was a DID denier and I was more DID curious. We had a friend who said they were a system, which at first we were confused and didn't link DID to System, but didn't care after some time. We also used to watch system troll videos so this was a huge switch (haha get it.. cause.. cause there was a host switch?.... anyway). I loved learning about mental health and disorders so a mixed space with singlets and systems was nice.

Over time we learned about endos, willos, the works and said ew... the fuck? So, anti endo singlet. Based? Yeah no uh, system.. Anti endo system. Eventually left that server for issues we had with staff. Yada yada. While fumbling with suspected OSDD and finally landing on P-DID after a sorta breakdown, we had it in our bio that we were at least a system and eventually our partner brought it up

Our partner was on VR Chat at a young age, experienced a bit of trauma with it, and admittedly was hesitant with system things. If you are in any sort of system space, you know the horrors that are some VRC systems. We slowly helped educate him on actual systemhood and he came around albeit hesitantly.

Delay In Meeting

With hesitance, he was reluctant to even have SimplyPlural for us. He was scared. Scared to talk to new people mostly moreso than "Aaah alters scary," so we respected that. Admittedly it went on much longer than it should have. "What if someone hates me. What if I say something bad. What if my first impression is shit." We have a collective understanding of relationships. If someone didn't like him, they had all general information on him to decide such. This had went on for about less than year and he only recently, as of a few days ago, started meeting people direct.

The Odd One Out

That fated day. An alter does not care for him, but of course didn't twll him outright. I stead they like our other friend and excessively so. They spent more time together than our partner, mostly via messaging and VR, bit it was more and things our partner could have always been doing. They brought up issues with our partner to a member of our server who we knew would give raw unfiltered advice. We were dating a boy, not a man.

We needed to do something, or at least figure out what we wanted in life.

The Future Reviewed

We always thought of the future through a fairytale lense. Being with our parents still is awful for our mental health, but we have no other options. A husband who basiclaly wants to be a housewife, who still offers to work if needed, but has never once gotten a job or education yet... It's becoming harder and harder to believe he will be a partner and not a burdening weight. He is so sweet, but sweet won't pay the bills... We had already planned marriage and it's kept us stuck. He claims we co own a dog where he lives. We aren't there. It would he his until we lived together. He's too painfully latched while we are slipping. We need a partner, especially with the amount of aid and support we will need in these years of lacking it. He would not be the one to help us. He was a lapdog at most.

You only find a dog cute when it ignores tricks as a puppy. It's been over a year and it isn't cute anymore. He's wasting his days and has an actual puppy before even finding his first real job..

The Future As It Is

I have heavily considered the factors.

No further education

No job

Hesitant to even learn about our system

When learning about system overly cares if some seem flirty, don't like him, ect. Which is a bit ignorant of varience in alters

No motivation

Has a dog before a job and school thus relying off parental aid for basic "prepping child for responsibility" task

Has been sleeping a lot more than he alreasy does with this puppy

Lack of communication as busy with puppy which fair but he already was messaging less so

Lack of defending us when needed

Generally... clingy and childish which may be holding us back

Ect.

Closing

I may be forgetting some things, but even if I the host am the one mostly dating him, I do consider that the alter who beought this up may be a subconscious awareness of these flaws that are in fact things that need to be considered

It is okay to date a singlet, but find someone who will take the time and energy to support you. This is a disorder. They need to understand this makes up a large part of yourself.

We just feel restricted under a sys4singlet monogamous relationship and would at least have been okay with a poly relationship or a sys4sys. However, our partner is a singlet who isn't comfortable with polyamory. We have been respectful of that, but it's a bit suffocating feeling so trapped as he hadn't wanted to talk to alters yet. So... yes, we may consider breaking things off, even for a short bit versus a full break up. We need to see him be better, but we may feel too stuck to stay...