#sys updates

Update: We are now physically sick with a cold we got from our little sib, we may be extra out of commission for a little while

ok so for today's sys update the part is WRITTEN...yes u read that right it's written and i haven't written since 2018 and i wasn't even good back then

so if it's bad im so sorry for your eyes BUT it needs to be done or else the au won't feel the same <3

please go easy on me yes 😍👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

Today we went into the bank and opened up our very own bank account not connected to anyone else! I feel super proud cause we only dealt with a little bit of anxiety ^^! All that's left to do is get our money transferred and setup a new number with credit and stuff..

Tbh, atp I'm considering coining my own label and all relevant sublabels our system needs because what if it turns out the alternative we pick is also coined with fetishizing and problematic roots? Also I love making flags.

I already made a flag for my hyperspecific identity just because I like making flags.

We just realized we probably have non-possessive switches; at least within our subparty which makes it hard to track due to a lack of memory barriers and being largely monoconscious. We're always assuming we're the 'main guy' when we're in front so we never think 'who's in front?' leading us to think we're just in co-con or doing a lot of passive influence.

It's hard to explain but in order to not name names, lets just say the """main fronter""" is member A. Everyone thinks member A is frontlocked and only shares front but is otherwise always in front. Member B fronts and since everyone assumes member A is in front, member B assumes that they are member A and any personality indicators that they aren't member A makes them think that they themself are in co-con when they are actually in front. This often leads member B to pretend they are member A and talk to themself (???) as if they were both member A and member B talking to each other.

We assume this is possible to mistake because we are largely monoconscious (especially since the last sys collapse) so it's NEVER easy to tell where one person ends and another begins. This is also a very strange development in our understanding because we still always feel like Chimera; however whenever others outside the subparty are in co-con they feel largely distinct from us and cannot, in fact, co-front or front. Could this be some other weird thing going on? We hypothesize there's a whole layering thing going on or that maybe we just have?? Two systems??? Or something?????

I dunno if we said anything when this happened but we quit our last job due to a lack of communication and hours (as well as some mistreatment that was happening) and we've been trying to get a new job. Unfortunately, after months of buying things very rarely (think like once every couple months), we've broken our last $100 and we only have ~$80 left. The payment that did this was recharging our data which we need for when we finally get this job locked and loaded (but we are still far from figuring that out).

We've thought about getting a Ko-fi or some other thing in the past (like in this post [link]) but I'm pretty sure that means we'll have to do commissions or some other thing. Maybe art commissions, maybe we could write fics as requested as we do write fics in private (and have for at least 10 years now)? I dunno what else we could do and maybe we could ask if we actually do open some sort of Ko-fi or something. The stress is really starting to get to us and we're starting to stress at least most of the day. Especially because our parents pressure us a lot regarding our employment and paying our rent and other bills (and have even before I quit my job and was paying just fine). Insecurities and anxieties aside I think it may be beneficial to do.

We (Kris, Wilbur, Jack and I) have been going over our DSMP canon together and currently, it's the most fleshed out canon in our collective, I think. There's a lot I don't want to share but I love my canonmates and I want to be open about them more; especially Wilbur since in the past, a lot of our headmates either had conflicts with him or where cautious of letting him be active online. We're going to be making him a userbox and finally letting him back in. I am super glad for this because Wilbur and I are very close and he's dealt with a lot over the course of a few years over headmates who took issue with his existence basically. Also important note that we do not support source Wilbur and we condemn his actions; we support Shelby in regards to this issue.