is it weird for me to think that both the pro and anti endo communities are equally flawed and i dislike the both of them equally.
Lets talk about why!
DISCLAIMER: this is in no way to take to one side or the other. I dislike both sides for different reasons, but im more inclined to the did/osdd community since Ive been more involved and im suspected to have osdd-1b specifically. Ive done alot of research but this is in no way to be any form of educational mental health information. im NOT a professional, and this is my personal opinion as someone whos been involved in the system community specifically for years.
first of all,
i think endos are responsible for spreading alot of misinformation and are capable of generating toxic communities that do more harm than good, while also acknowledging anti endos are capable of doing the exact same thing, and also being extremely hateful aswell as yelling at others/spreading hate or attacking people. which is never okay to do.
it feels weird being in the middle of both ideals and not to really care about either side. but i will say i do not fully understand or definitively feel or think a certian way about endos, i can comprehend why they might exist , but there's no way for anyone to tell anybody else whos valid or isnt especially when thats a subjective construct thats opinionated and heavily misinformed.
HOWEVER what I do belive, is that plural systems should stick to their own space and make it explicitly clear that they do not have did/osdd . or alledgedly flooding fourms/tags in relation to disordered systems, with information thats not applicable to individuals with did/osdd. as people are claiming that theyre doing.
however i do think endos or plurals have a right to exist and do whatever they want because i dont care enough to go out of my way to really discuss about topics such as these most of the time , and im not a system centered blog. i have cdd, ive been recognized for my dissociation, ptsd, and my other mental health struggles, its not anyones buisness to know if im diagnosed or undiagnosed, or what specifically is "wrong" with me, how i function, or what im labeled as. im simply myself. and I have very little say in how anyone else lives their life.
The issues I have with the system/plural community are purely personal but i feel as though they might be relateable to anybody else, which is why im even making this or making my opinion known. I barely see people be neutral on either conversation, or understanding both sides. I feel like this conversation isnt as simple as some talking points make it seem like, stating that "being a system can be defined with just having more than one identity states/or people in your brain". which is a description i disagree with, its definetly more complicated than that, and theres more to consider when having a conversation about the spectrum of dissociation, or why plurality isnt disordered. its HIGHLY complicated/varied from what i know and theres alot i dont understand, but what i do understand is that this understanding of plurality seems extremely simplistic, which shouldnt be treated as like factual information when explaining something complex and not black and white.
but i also disagree with ignoring or thinking dissociation is only possible through "one way." there are multiple reasons as to why or how did happens, individuals who undergo severe repeated trauma, dont always develop did or osdd, or people who go through "less severe trauma" (even though that categorization should not exist) will and can develop did or osdd. the way trauma affects the brain is subjective, and every system functions differently and everyone processes information in their own way. this does not mean most plural systems intentionally wish to harm the did/osdd community, or are genuinely maliciously trying to portray being a system as a fun and silly preformance. that's just unrealistic. clearly something is occuring that we don't fully understand, and its important to feel emotionally against this discussion, because both sides are repeatedly invalidating and saying everything over the other. and its an emotionally heated discussion because of the weight and suffering that occurs when you have cdd / did/osdd or any mental illness. this doesn't mean you cant have fun or you cant enjoy your life with mental illness. my main issue with endogenetics is that they come across as tone deaf and do say things like "the future is plural" which sounds like to everyone else that might be less educated, that endos want people to have systems even though theyre distressing and are caused through repeated trauma that can be absolutely horrific. this is what the brain felt like it had to do to survive. some individuals with did feel little joy or feel excluded because of how their disorder might function. it is not all positive. not everyone will agree with the endogenetic agenda especially with the context of how did/osdd originate , and the long span of time that it takes for people to recover. and the trauma that comes from first of all developing and then living with the disorder.
in conclusion, it is extremely important that we do not send any harassment or death threats, or display unexcuseable behavior twoards one community or the other, its important to hear from both sides even if you dont agree with them, and its important to be considerate of other peoples experiences, and filter out tags from communities that upset you. curating your own experience on the internet is extremely reccomended by multiple people, and blocking out tags that might make one uncomfortable or upset is a form of self care, please take care of yourself. its also imporant to remeber to understand not everyone will agree or follow this advice, since everyone is different. building thick skin and not giving mind to hurtful things that people say is an important trait to develop, you dont deserve to be harassed or spoken over or sent horrible things for wishing to talk about your disorder/talk about your identity.
lets learn to love everyone and respect eachothers space and experiences β‘
thank you for reading.
