#swim test

Hey love,

I’m sorry this is late and I’m sure your friend has already taken their test. I hope everything went well with it. If not, if they somehow had to retake it for any reason, I would recommend looking into finding other types of swimwear. If they’re conscious about scars on their stomach or thighs, they can try swimsuits that cover those areas. I don’t know if that will help but I think if they’re mostly conscious about their body, then it should be able to relieve some of their anxiety about being shown.

Always by your side,

The one thing that makes Columbia truly unique, among every other American college out there, is the Core Curriculum. And included in that Core is something freshmen oddly panic about and seniors look forward to: the swim test. Here’s the gist of it.

To understand the swim test you need to have a solid understanding of the creation of this institution. Columbia University today was called King’s College back in 1754 when it was founded. All the way down near Rockefeller, King’s College was so named because we were the only college officially chartered by King George II himself. Remember, back then we were still British colonies.

In a few years, a small tussle sprung up being a few people who pronounce the word “tomato” differently, in 1776. We shut down, to let people go fight in this small tussle. I haven’t heard back from them on whether or not we won.

So now that you’ve prepared (Because you read Part 1), it’s finally time for the test! What’re you in for? What should you expect! Well I’ll tell you! Every facility is going to run their test differently and expect different results from their applicants. And every facility is going to have a different combination of tasks. Some might have 2 some 11. It all depends on what they’re looking for. Some are going to be Pass/Fail, some will give you multiple chances, and some will break it down on a point system. Each set has their own strategy to doing well but the best thing you can do for any of them is go for gold. Try to ace all of them to the best of your ability. Keep in mind that there’s likely going to be a fair number of people there with you taking the test. Get to know them and encourage each other. Yes you’re all competing but you’re all reaching for the same goal and if you try and be friends you’ll all be much more relaxed and ready to tackle anything. That being said, here are some of the most common elements of swim tests and what you can do to help yourself out.

Freestyle Swim - Most swim tests will require some sort of timed distance swim. Usually a length or two of a show pool. Don’t swim slow. It’s not necessarily a sprint but you gotta make that time. Try and  swim pretty. Head down, arms straight, tilt to the side to breathe. Watch some Olympic swimming videos if you wanna know what that looks like. Don’t worry about being perfect. Most of the pools you’ll be swimming in will be pretty simple and you can get lost so don’t feel like you can’t look up and see where you are. 

Underwater Breath Hold - This is the HARDEST part. This is the one that’ll make or break a swimmer. And it is entirely, completely, and utterly mental. When you hear that voice in your head say “ABORT! ABORT! WE NEED AIR IMMEDIATELY!” you ignore it and you KEEP GOING. 

Your body will be just fine without air for the however many feet you need to go. You really will. You’re not gonna die. Trust me. Just take a deep breath before you go and you’ll do fine.

When you dip your head underwater immediately go deep. You’re going to want to swim in sort of a “U” shape. Yes it seems like will waste a lot of energy by not going in s straight line but you get a couple strong benefits by doing the U. 1) When you go deep your lungs compress from the pressure slightly and when you rise up they expand. By curving up at the end what little breath you have less will feel like more as your lungs expand. 2) You remove the risk of being caught at the surface. Many facilities will automatically flunk you if you break the surface so by going deep you can’t possibly run into that problem. 

Lastly, you’re going to need a distraction from the, well, lack of oxygen in your body. I highly recommend singing a song in your head. What song you ask? It’s up to you, but I suggest the following: “Stayin’ Alive” ~ Bee Gees, “No Air” ~ Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown, “Breath of Life” ~ Florence + the Machine, “Every Breath You Take” ~ The Police, and/or “I Need Air” ~ Magnetic Man 

Tread Water (Without Hands) - Another mental one. If you’ve done proper practice than all you have to worry about is finding a distraction. And lucky for you there will be a whole bunch in the water with you! You’re most likely going to be doing this one in a group. TALK TO EACH OTHER! This is a great time to bond, make friends, and also show your potential employers that you can be social and have a good time. If you just go around the circle and share an interesting fact about yourselves or sing a quick camp song or two it’ll be over before you know it.

Surface Dive & Weight Retrieval - This one can be tough dependent upon how deep you have to go. This task ranges anywhere from 10 to 30 feet in depth. If you can make the breath hold then the lack of air isn’t going to be the trouble. It’s equalizing as you descend and being aware that you’re more buoyant in saltwater than in fresh. Do whatever you have to to equalize the pressure (plug your nose and blow, swallow, etc.) so that you can make it down and up safely and not blow an ear drum. This is also tricky since most people don’t have a 30 ft well to practice free diving  in. It’s not that much more difficult than diving the 9 or 12 feet you practiced with. If you equalize and keep moving you’ll find it totally doable. When you get ready to retrieve the weight make sure you’re about a foot or so offset from where it is. Don’t start right over top of it. When we descend we tend to go at an angle and if you’re right on top of it you’ll end up diving away from it and waste precious time trying to find it. Make sure you try and look graceful when you go down. Legs up and pointed nice and streamline. When you finally make it down to the bottom if you’re allowed, PUSH UP FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL! Don’t waste energy trying to swim back up to the surface on your own. Get your bonus momentum and save that energy for another task.

Platform Dive - Just dive pretty! Nothing fancy required. Arms up, toes pointed, legs together, butt clenched (I swear this is legitimate advise from a SeaWorld trainer. I’m not just making a joke). Just make it into the water like an arrow and pop back up. One of the easier test components if you practice. Just think pretty and you’ll have nothing to worry about.

Haul Out - Upper arm strength! They want to see if you can get yourself out of the pool in one piece, preferably to a foot and gracefully. You’re going to need to be delicate, but strong. Somewhere in between a water strider...

and Wolverine...

My advice to you is that if it’s not REQUIRED for you to come up to a foot and you’re not sure you can make it TAKE A KNEE! You’re gonna be better off taking the hit for making it to the knee than falling back in the water trying to make it to a foot. Seriously, this part isn’t easy. Train to the best you can but make your number one goal getting out, not doing it prettily. 

Push Ups - Military style. Sorry ladies (and gents like me with poor upper body strength) no “Girl Push Ups” allowed. Be prepared to do anywhere from 10 to 20 of these. They wanna see a straight back and a clean descent. Another way to check to see if you have the necessary arm strength to do the job. 

Bucket Carry - Pretty straightforward. Carry some buckets filled with ice water for a certain distance and maybe up some stairs. Try to keep the water in the buckets as best you can. Use your muscles and show that you can carry the standard 50lbs. all job postings mention. *Enchanted brooms are not permitted. 

Narration on Microphone - Now this isn’t always a part of the swim test and it can range in complexity tremendously. Some facilities will simply have you read a short statement to an empty stadium, some will expect you to have come having memorized a script they sent you, and other will want you to talk about whatever you want. Regardless of which version you get you want to speak as if you are captivating 5,000 people. Speak excitedly with inflection. Use your body. LOOK AROUND THE STADIUM. The judges will be sitting in one location but if you’re pretending you’re giving a presentation to the entire stadium you better acknowledge the imaginary guests on the far left and the nosebleeds. Do your best to sound natural and not that you’re reading anything. Act like you really believe in what you’re saying and be excited about it. Some facilities will even go so far as to assign different challenges to your read/recitation. Such things as “speak with an accent” or “hop on one foot and do it.” These are intended to see how you handle pressure, adapt, and handle a situation where you need to improvise. Have fun with it. Even if you mess up the words because you’re trying to talk like a pirate, keep going and persevere. They want to know that if you were responsible for that script you could knock it out of the park for every show.

Cue the dramatic music!  

One of the most difficult parts of entering the marine animal training field is the dreaded facility swim test. Not every facility requires one, and those that do, do not create them equally. But needless to say, if you really wanna make it in the biz, you better prepare yourself to get wet.

There are many different components that facilities may require. Each with different requirements in terms of distance, length of time, etc. But in general these tests are designed to see if you have the endurance and capability to perform the necessary tasks to complete the job. Rarely are these things you‘ll be doing everyday (especially if you’re just starting out in the field) but they are generally all possible scenarios you may encounter during your work day. So what should you prepare for? What should you expect? Well lucky for you I’ve broken this up into two easy parts. Let’s get started :)

Before we even talk about the components you may face we’re gonna go over some of the basics that are, in general, pretty standard and can be applied to the preparation of any test.

The Gear. What kind of tools will you have at your disposal during this examination of your physical prowess? Very little. You’re pretty much only gonna be allowed a swim suit, some footwear, and a towel. Yes this means that you may very well be getting into 60 degree salt water with no goggles or wet suit. So when you’re prepping for this make sure you have the right kind of gear to make yourself comfortable and efficient. And it’s also important to wear something professional. The concept of a “professional swim suit” may be a little hard to wrap your head around. Think simple, sleek, and monochromatic. Girls you’re gonna want to go for a simple black one piece and guys you’re gonna go for a similar look in the board shorts department. Something like this: 

These are simple and clean and show that you’re here to get the job done (Swim Outlet is a great place to look for this kind of gear). Are they a requirement? No, of course not. But why not look your best if you can? I’d also recommend (guys or girls) a rash guard. This will help especially if you are going to be swimming in some colder water. Plus it helps make you look like a trainer. What better way to encourage your reviewers to pick you than by looking the part.

Having a water bottle nearby is also a good idea to help keep you cooled and hydrated. And never underestimate the power of having a towel nearby. It’s a wonderful comfort and no one is going to look down on you if you wipe your eyes or warm up in between events. 

The Work Out. Even if you don’t have an offer for a swim test you should being trying to get yourself some regular pool or gym time to keep yourself in some sort of fit condition. You can usually find somewhere on the IMATA board or on a Facebook page the requirements for a swim test somewhere. When you find something, regardless of how vigorous or comparable to other tests it might be, this’ll give you a starting point to reach for. After you know the exact requirements you need to make it’s time to start “Over Training.” Now I’m not suggesting that you work out until you drop. That’s not really healthy. What I mean by Over Training is that you should train yourself to meet a level beyond the requirements of the test. For example, if the test requires you to tread water with no hands for 5 minutes, practice treading with no hands for 6 or 7 minutes. It’ll feel like torture when you’re doing it knowing full well you’ll never be asked to go that long, but by stretching your endurance further than required you’ll have an easier time of meeting the level needed during the test. If the facility wants you to stretch to the moon you practice as if your goal was on another planet. Say it with me. Where’s your goal?

The Mentality. You gotta own it. This will be one of the most nerve-wracking things you’ll do on your journey. You’ve gotta get yourself to a place where you know you can do it. Without a doubt. Part of the reason you Over Train is so that you know even if you have a rough day you can still pull off the necessary requirements. You’re gonna hear it over and over again “The test is all mental.” It really is. Don’t psych yourself out. Every time you step up to that pool, practice or real deal, take a deep breath and tell yourself “I got this.” 

We need to talk.

Recently, we had some positions open up in my department. This has happened twice since I was hired. The swim test is this coming Tuesday. Typically, applicants get about a 10 days notice that they’ve been invited to swim test.

DO NOT WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE CALLED FOR A SWIM TEST BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY PRACTICE FOR THE GATDAMN SWIM TEST.

Each time this situation has come up, I get sudden frantic messages from people I haven’t talked to in months or longer asking me for advice about the swim test and the interview. 

I WILL do what I can to help. I can tell you exactly what it’s like, I can tell you how I mentally prepared myself for the water and for the interview. There is a limit to what I can do for you, though. 

I CANNOT TRAIN YOUR MUSCLES AND LUNGS OVER THE INTERNET. I CANNOT SUDDENLY MAKE YOU PHYSICALLY FIT WITH ENCOURAGING MESSAGES AND CHEERFUL EMOJIS.

I swam competitively from high school thru college. I continued swimming as part of my fitness routine and continue to do so to this very day. I raced in front of large crowds and my entire family all the way up to State level. Needless to say, I am fairly accustomed to pressure and judgy eyes on me while I flail around in a bathing suit. 

In spite of this, I was STILL freaking the HELL out before the swim test. It was scarier than any meet I’ve ever been to. This was the thing I wanted my entire life. My potential future bosses and my direct competitors were all watching. I was STRESSED. If you are having a mental breakdown AND you’re physically unprepared, YOU ARE FUCKED. No matter how “easy” someone says the swim test is, it is a WHOLE other ballgame when you’re there. You will have no chill. It’s NOT the same as practicing on your own time in a pool you’re familiar with. Just like a sport, you should be pushing yourself HARDER during practice than you might need to when the swim test happens. You don’t have to be in the pool five days a week like I use to be, but get in there enough so that you are consistent. 

also im done with work...yay? nay? idk....im tired...