#sunsetablaze

I wish for you  blooming flowers covering your bruises not to mask them but to remind you that they make you beautiful I wish for you  to chase the stars that streak across the sky not to long to be apart of them but to know that to others you already hang there  I wish for you joy and the sea air of standing by the beach  of champagne bubbles and good books  of hands tracing you gently and hope  I wish for you  all good things in the universe because, darling, on this black earth you are lightning strike you are what we found in the ruins of Pompeii, legend made life

I was told once that I'm half sunshine, half storm that I can change the universe with my faith that I can challenge the rules with my will and the stars that I spend eons writing about they don't carry a fraction of what I can do because I was born a miracle and I was born a warrior  and those parts of me still rest inside in my bones so yes, I am made up of blood and of stories and most of all of courage you will never be able to shackle me to the ground because I I was made to fly, I was made to conquer  so that's what I'll do

let me tell you something: no one is going to look at you, broken and shattered and think - damn, you are beautiful. no one is going to come pick up your broken pieces off the floor and assemble them into a beautiful whole. hell, you won’t even look at yourself and think - I made broken look beautiful. you know why? because all those writers lied to you. yes, all those with their poems of scraped knuckles and blood dripping down chins, pomegranate songs and loves that ripped through you like hurricanes. liars. so you and i, we are going to make a plan. you are not going to romanticize days when your brain tells you to smash that mirror, you are not going to romanticize the lover who doesn’t understand you but still writes about you. here is what you are going to romanticize instead: you are going to romanticize the first day of spring, its gentle hands all over your body, lifting you up until you are as light as a feather. you are going to romanticize the tea and honey kind of love, no hurricanes, but sunshine that builds you up from within, that helps you make it through the worst days. you are going to romanticize gentle hands of a friend in yours, telling you that it is going to be okay. because it is. and don’t trust poets, we’re no good, we love pretending that our jagged edges tantamount to a beautiful disaster, but in reality - there ain’t nothing beautiful about shaky hands holding a cigarette and empty eyes staring at the cracks in the walls. you know what is beautiful, instead? the days when you can look at yourself in the mirror and smile, scars and all. music that makes your soul flow like a river, books that offer comfort, families flocking together like overgrown birds to keep you safe and warm, friends that give you strength when you can find none, lovers who make you laugh through tears. baby, from now on you are going to romanticize healing; honey dripping down your fingertips, August nights that stick to your skin, the day you find your purpose, long car rides and singing so loud that no one can shut you up now. bad news: no one is coming to save you. good news: you can save yourself.

things we should learn from the stars: 1) you will burn. but this pyre of yours will light an entire galaxy. is it destruction if it’s creation, too? 2) collapse unto yourself. it doesn’t matter. yesterday is light years away and it’s cold can’t touch you now. tomorrow is when you shine. 3) the explosion will shatter your bones and no one will hear a sound. it is alright, stars die quietly, too. but they get up every single time. 4) like stars, burn brighter after you rise. 5) (always rise) 6) the universe is a dark and vast place but there’s always light. find it. if you can’t find it, be that light. 7) make sure that the whole universe knows just how beautiful you are when you decide to survive.

days are shorter without you and nights are longer in all the bad ways and the 'almost' hanging between us has never been more painful i keep you on the back of my head when I toss and turn and struggle I wonder about you idly i keep picturing you drinking coffee in rome jumping from the eiffel tower in paris kissing someone else in tokyo yeah I keep wondering you were never here to stay; from the first kiss to the last touch you were never mine to begin with I knew it I know it a girl with a hurricane in her heart is not for the girl with a soul like a sunny sunday morning to love I knew it and I still fell for you I keep wondering who are your fingers touching and what are your lips saying and where are your feet stepping and baby, I miss you so much that i feel like I was haunted the days are longer without you and the nights are shorter in  all the bad ways;  I know you don’t belong with me but that’s fine; i guess I belong without you I knew you’ll never stay but I fell for you anyway so if that’s what you want i’m setting you free  (but please take my heart with you it's too heavy for me now)