Alrighty, my dudes. I got tagged by @damned-after-all to do this, and I honestly think it was good to think about because it is more than halfway through summer and my life is 50% in shambles, 50% together, So here is me throwing my summer resolutions into the wind.

1. THE GYM

When I was doing my first year of college away from home, I would head to the gym at least four times a week, with or without a gym buddy. But upon coming home, I’ve lost that motivation to keep going and I’m actually really disappointed in myself because I was doing good. Even though it is halfway through summer, I would like to start heading back to the gym when I can (which should be all the time considering all the free time I have on my hands) and that would be in tandem with healthier eating. Granted, I don’t eat like an absolute slob, there are still a lot of things I could cut from my normal diet or even add to it. The area I live in has a free gym at least a block away and my family already stocks the kitchen with mostly healthy items so it shouldn’t be too hard to get into gear with a swift kick in the rear.

2. LESS SOCIAL ANXIETY?

Ahh, this one would be a lot harder. It’s also why I haven’t pushed myself to go to the gym. I don’t want to interact with anyone face to face, like ever. Family doesn’t count because I see them every day, but estranged “friends” and strangers I would rather avoid. Though, this is... the part I’m supposed to be working on, it will be difficult. I’m not entirely sure how to work on fixing it, though if I start with the gym, it will gradually become easier? I’m open to any help :^]

3. LAZE LESS, DRAW MORE

This is probably the biggest problem. I often come up with several ideas that I’d like to put on paper and they all seem like great ideas... until I have a piece of paper and a pencil sitting in front of me. I mean, sometimes it’s not so hard when I have a random idea thrown at me for a small spontaneous project. But it’s the larger projects that I would like to get back into, I haven’t done anything major lately and it’s honestly saddening. There are smaller, nicer projects I’ve done and I do appreciate them, but I just need the motivation to do the bigger things. I normally would make a list of the things I wanna draw but then there’s the problem of actually picking something from the list to create. I think the key to this problem (thanks to some insight from @xxxxnatasha) is spontaneity. Just... Whenever something happens to pop into my head, do it. If I come up with another idea while in the middle of my initial thought, I switch to that one. And when I’m done for the time being, I take note. And then I come back and do it all again next time. Hopefully this gets me out of my rut.

Anyways that’s it for this episode! I’m tagging @arcana-more-likely-nadia-trash, @goatslice, @notsospicyspice, @abbibbiey, and @xxxxnatasha.

The Observer likes making resolutions at New Year's. We don't manage to keep any of them other than the one we always start with — "Stay Above Ground" — but we do like making them.

The Observer likes making resolutions at New Year's. We don't manage to keep any of them other than the one we always start with — "Stay Above Ground" — but we do like making them. Gives us something to aspire to, and at this point in our life, we need all the aspiration we can get. Summer is coming on quickly, the cool nights bleeding into 85-degree days. Before you know it, it'll be so gatdamn hot that wienerdogs will warp in the noonday sun, the skyscapers downtown will wilt perceptibly toward the shadiest horizon, and President Trump will be asking Russkie prostitutes to pee on him not out of any sort of fetishy weirdness, but simply for the cooling effect. The winter was too mild to kill off the hordes of ticks, so our weather elbow and the Farmer's Almanac we keep by the john is telling us it's gonna be a hot one.

This summer, we're gonna get to the lake more, to drink in both nature's beauty and the incalculable glory of a drunk dude in American flag swim trunks saying, "Welp, time to go to the bathroom!" before wading into the water up to his waist and then standing there for 30 seconds while he returns his Pabst to whence it came, the look on his face like he had a stroke while simultaneously discovering fire. We Observed that one on the beach at DeGray Lake last year, friends and neighbors. We gave it a few weeks before venturing back into the water, but still think of him every time another swimming area is closed due to E. coli.

This summer, we're gonna sell a kidney to get one of those Yeti coolers, the cooler that already weighs a ton before you put the ice and beer and hot dogs in it, and which costs so much that it would literally be cheaper to buy a refrigerator and a generator to power it, then lash the whole thing to the mast of your party barge with ratchet straps. Yeah, the fridge route might look weird, but it's no muss, no fuss, and no questions from your friends about why you're dumb enough to pay $1,299 (no, that's not a typo, that's what the top-of-the-line Yeti costs) for a space-age super-cooler when ice is like, two bucks a bag. Our advice: Just admit that wanting a Yeti is the bro-quivalent of women lusting after a Hermes Birkin bag. In both cases, there's no possible way the thing could actually be worth what it's selling for, which means what you're actually buying is the opportunity to conspicuously display how much you can afford to spend on something utterly pointless.

This summer, we're gonna hit up the Cajun Sno place in Hillcrest more, if the asshats who recently vandalized the place and forced it to shutter for a few days can secure gainful employment and quit making life demonstrably worse for the rest of us. Frozen water doused with sticky syrup can't be good for The Observer, but damned if it ain't fine on a summer night, us spooning it up in the heat with Spouse nearby, joggers and bikers zipping past sugary temptation, folks out walking their dogs in the dusk, kids dancing from foot to foot on the plank stoop of the sno-cone trailer while they wait for their Ninja Turtle or Rainbow or Wedding Cake to emerge from the window. We need more of that this summer.

Most of all this summer, we're just going to remember to remember more, to breathe more and to smell more: the yellow waft of the August heat in high grass; happy dogs emerging from ponds and lakes and kiddie pools out on the lawn; the smell of hot asphalt; the smell of fresh-cut watermelon on a picnic table; the smell of the rare rainstorm on warm ground, a smell so distinct and beautiful that it actually has a name: petrichor.

May you find your share of petrichor this summer, my friend. It's gonna be hot. But it's gonna be a good one. We can feel it in our winter-weary bones.

So back in January, I did a “New Year’s Resolution Tag”... and then school came and hit me like a bus, and then work drove over my already broken body. I’ve been depressed (possibly because I forgot to take a full dose of my antidepressant for a few days. Hmm... >_>) and have been putting things off and wasting time, but it’s almost summer. Actually, no. Beltane already happened, so as far as I’m concerned, it is summer. Thus, I examine my pervious resolutions, and cross off the ones that have been achieved or will be in short order, and comment in bold:

Publish Outcast Shadows

Spiffify my blog with better banners, pictures, and so on

Finish Love & Chaos in time for February/March postings ;-; Nope

Keep my room/desk clean ;-; Nope

Exercise every day ;-; Nope

Work on something writing related (writing, editing, formatting, planning, blogging, etc) every day

Do my very best in my classes (no slacking >_<) Ha, ha... well, it’s to late for that now...

Completely edit and format Recast Light by the end of August This is still doable :D

Start (really start) a new book or serial ;-; Nope

No longer be subbing by the end of the year (whether because of a better job, a grad school internship, or whatever) I’m 90% that I won’t be subbing next fall, but I still feel a slight obligation to my district, which is short on subs :s

Well, that was painful, but such is life. Everyday is a new day, so I offer my new Summer Resolutions (to begin on May 12th, after my final project is turned in):

Write a short story about Alistair, Inez, and Jurek by the end of August

Prep all Recast Light tie-in posts (World of/Meet/Teaser/etc)

Finish Love & Chaos in time for May/June postings

Keep my room/desk clean

Walk or bike every day

Either write or edit every day

Do my very best in my summer school class

Completely edit and format Recast Light by the end of July; be ready to send galleys out by the end of August 

Start (really start) a new book or serial

get out of the house to go to coffee shops and write/draw

learn the musical saw

start a band with the musical saw that doesn't sound like neutral milk hotel or folk punk

try out the guitar- see what happens this time

go to a record store not only to visit friends but actually buy something

not get upset easily or jealous

make more mix tapes

give more compliments

send more letters

learn to skateboard

not think that people, places or things are too cool for me

take dance classes: hip hop and ballet

go to shows and enjoy it and not see it as another 'obligation'

enroll in fall classes at ccsf- french: to keep it up, writing:to keep it up and editing: to keep it up

study tarot reading

learn html

make that fucking zine and others

not to complain about yuppies or tech assholes

give myself a routine for continuing my book

open my mouth and constructively explain why (if) something bothers me rather than bottle it up just to explode