Wow. I don't even know where to start. 6 months ago. I met this girl Miss So-Dah Fyne. I should have sufficient memory and pictures to fondly remember this women. At the time of this post, after formulating a gameplan with her best friend. I felt like I was ready. After being told to be just friends and hearing rumors of her reconnecting with her ex. I was dying. To be just a "friend" while not actively helping her in anything related to her stress was killing me. I felt like a useless friend. I felt unwanted, a bothersome annoying nuisance who for the life couldn't understand this women. After getting together what I believed was a full proof plan later blew up in my face. Instead I was stung with accusations and questioning of my emotions. Giving suspicion upon my feelings and overall felt ridiculed for even liking her in the first place. I was later told she had already began seeing her ex. He visited her after her wisdom teeth was removed. He went on late night dutch bro runs to elk grove with her. And he paid for her textbooks bc fafsa didnt cover all. All of this shit, after the fact he's cheated on her multiple times, has a baby with another girl, doesnt pay child support for the kid and has done nothing but get drunk and passed on peoples lawn. Yeah. She saw that and decided to get back together with him. AFTER telling me she wanted us to be just friends. Yep. So I was given a similar situation like Miss Psychedelic and Chaotic. Give her space or stick around and lose her. Except in this case. It was rigged. I was losing her no matter what. No matter what I did. I did everything I could. Step by step. By the book. Gave it my 100%, and more. But it failed. I couldn't do it. She's going back to him. There's nothing I can do. I feel like a worthless distraction meant to be thrown away in the garbage where I belong. I never thought I cared for her as much as I do. But I did. I did. And it got me here.... I'm gonna really fucking miss her :'(
