#062 Being the Chosen One
Some heroes donât have the luxury of deciding they want to be a hero. They just want to work in their garage or finish high school without dying or *looks at notes* live under a stair case? Why would anybody want to do that? But fate or destiny or an older time traveling version of themselves wonât let that happen. Theyâre the heroes whose calling is so grandiose and important that what they actually want is never taken into consideration, not even once. Theyâre the heroes with a duty, a special mission, a high-grossing popular multi-film franchise, they⊠are the chosen ones.
Chosen ones often begin their lives as aggressively normal individuals. They have middling-to-poor grades, looks, relationships with their parents, theyâre just boring. And theyâre also usually bored. Sometimes they feel or hope or pray that thereâs something bigger out there for them, sometimes theyâre simply content with what they have. Regardless of whether theyâre happy with their lot in life or not though, somebody is going to come for them and change their entire perception of themselves and the world around them. Itâs all very zero to hero.
The person who comes for them might be an old wizard or a ghost or the heroâs grandparent. Sometimes itâs a talking car (once it was a fully intact dinosaur skeleton but honestly that was completely bizarre and unprecedented and the person it happened to turned out to be a complete nerd. So I guess, if this happens to you, you can hit up Professor Paleontologist for advice). At first the chosen one will almost definitely dismiss whoever has come for them as being a crazy person (or theyâll think that they themselves are crazy because talking cars are obviously not real). Or they might take the words of these heralds of adventure at face value but reject them anyway because they have no interest in fighting off an evil space wizard and also itâs a school night. Â
Eventually though, all chosen ones come around. They kind of have to. Destinyâs not just about to let its chosen champion not uproot their entire lives in order to fulfill some seemingly trivial quest (like burn jewelry or find treasure or stop an evil wizard from returning to power so he can murder everybody who doesnât do magic). Like seriously, thereâs no escaping destiny. The universe will go to extreme lengths just to get one person to do one thing that they really donât want to do. To the point of excessiveness. Like hey universe, maybe try choosing a different person. Or maybe there should be a chosen two or three or just a whole bunch of people who can get the job done. Like there are almost 8 billion people in the world, youâre telling me only one of them properly decode this riddle or go on this godly scavenger hunt?Â
Another thing youâre going to have to deal with if youâre a chosen one is prophecies. Thereâs always some sort of prophecy. And honestly, a lot of the time these prophecies are super vague and itâs up to someone to just arbitrarily pick someone that seems to check all the boxes. Let us look to the classic example of a chosen one, Skavenger (pronounced like avenger), the supposedly reincarnated Sumerian warlord. See it starts with the prophecy, a series of couplets that were found carved into the side of a mountain.
A boy tall and fair
With stark black wavy hair
Who on bated breath
Escaped Certain death
Shall unite for war
The Seven the Two and the Four
See, that prophecy, if Iâm interpreting this correctly, could refer to literally any male with black hair who one time almost died but then didnât. But somebody decided that this Skavenger fella (obviously his name wasnât Skavenger at the time but Iâm not about to just publish somebodyâs secret identity on here) must be the person the prophecy was talking about (also I donât know his real name). So now this high schooler has to go reunite the 13 intergalactic Sumerian space colonies (which history has, for whatever reason, tried to erase) so that they can fulfill their destiny and fight the dark force Karalaxus before it consumes the very notion of life itself and honestly if this dude had just done the proper edgy thing and dyed his hair purple he wouldnât be in this situation.
But being the chosen one isnât all bad. I mean, you have a built in mentor, thatâs pretty cool. Some superheroes never find someone whoâs willing to help them find their place in the superheroing world. But if youâre the chosen one that usually means the old wizard or talking car from before will help guide you on your path to fulfilling your destiny. Another neat perk is that due to the nature of certain prophecies, you canât die until you do what youâve been chosen to do. So if youâre a trained and talented procrastinator you could potentially live forever.Â
Thereâs also a very high chance that, unbeknownst to you, you have an army of devoted followers who will fight to protect you. Theyâre the people whose ancestors were given the prophecy and who have been charged with making sure it is properly carried out. These people can act as your super-team or your support-squad or even just your pals whom you get coffee with. But thereâs also a high risk that there will be some resentment. Especially from younger members of this cult fan-club. See theyâve grown up their whole lives hearing your prophecy and imaging some great and noble hero. Most chosen ones (chosens one?) are very much not that. Theyâre usually pretty lame at first. Even if youâre not a total lameborg 3000 (thatâs a sick new insult for you to try out kids!) thereâs almost no way youâre going to stack up the expectations of these people. So they might totally hate you. They might hate you so much for not being the glorious hero they envisioned and also for just being a general outsider that theyâll actively fight you. So being a chosen one also comes with built in enemies (not to mention some uber existential threat that you were chosen to fight).Â
The most important thing to remember if you discover that youâre a chosen one is that youâre still in control of your life. No matter what destiny or fate says you need to do you can always just go ânah sonâ and just go on living your life. Sure destiny might keep trying to push you in the chosen direction but that just means youâve got to plant your feet. It might get tiring but I believe in you guys. You can for sures outlast destiny in this pissing contest. Or you can lean into it, save the world and be beloved by all. But again, itâs your call.
(Female chosens one please note: Some jerks are going to call you a Mary Sue simply for being chosen and being female but theyâre jerkwads and youâre allowed to punch them so have with that at least!)