#sukeyaku

1. 心のこり // 細川たかし: To you I have given my precious heart. I'm a fool, aren't I? 2. 胸の振子 // 霧島昇: You are the swallow in the sky, and the sound of the pendulum in my chest is soft. 3. お富さん // 春日八郎: A pine tree grows over the lovely black fence. The smell of clean hair is enticing. Otomi! You must have passed away... 4. 有楽町で逢いましょう // フランク 永井: In a tearoom beside high buildings, even the rain is amicable, and somebody is singing sweet blues. 5. おさらば東京 // 三橋美智也: Ever since my birth, I have only truly loved one person. That night has since become a dream. 6. 上を向いて歩こう // 坂本九: Remembering those autumn days, but tonight I am all alone. 7. 柳ヶ瀬ブルース // 美川憲一: To forget this dream in liquor, like tears in the night...

BONUS FINAL TRACK: MIYOKICHI

‘Does he smell nice?’ Miyokichi asks. ‘You’re closer to him. Physically, I mean.’ She grins when Bon glares at her and ducks back into the kitchen, blowing him a kiss as she goes. She knows his type, which is infinitely more intimate than the fact she has absolutely no problem barging in on him in his underwear without knocking. Which has happened before. Twice. He turns back to resume Hipster Observation Duty, and nearly has the shock of his life.

Artfully Scruffy is right up against the counter now, smiling. ‘Can I get an affogato?’

Bon can only stare at his lanyard, which says: Sukeroku, followed by Theatre TA . Oh. Oh no. 

‘You’re that annoying guy from Theatre 101,’ Bon says.

Sukeroku beams. ‘Yes!’

‘You made me recite the monologue from Villette three times,’ Bon says. He remember standing onstage. The silent gaze of the onlookers had made him squirm, and he hated every second of the class after that.

The smile doesn’t fade in the slightest. ‘Yeah?’

‘In one class,’ Bon presses on. ‘Last year.’ Though Sukeroku had been much better-dressed then, he muses. Not nearly so much of a give-me-spare-change-and-I’ll-stop-harassing-you-at-the-bus-stop vibe. Miyokichi had been in the same class and got off scot-free with a short monologue from As You Like It as Phebe. 

But Sukeroku hands over five dollars, interrupting his train of thought, and Bon starts making the affogato. It was one of the first things he learned how to make, and the routine is familiar to him. A scoop of vanilla into a demitasse, melting softly into the sides. Espresso over it. Served on a saucer with an almond tuile on the side (baked by Miyokichi, thin and buttery and full of crunch). 

When he hands it over to Sukeroku their fingers brush, and Bon looks away. Sukeroku leaves after idling about a smaller table as Bon steadfastly refuses to look at him. The watch on his wrist tells him that the dinner crowd will be in an hour, and Bon knocks on the kitchen door until Miyokichi looks out innocently.

‘I’m pounding the steak,’ she says. Beads of sweat dot her brow. ‘How was he?’

‘He was our theatre TA,’ Bon says. 

Miyokichi wrinkles her nose. It’s a habit left over from when she was younger, and childishly charming in its own way. ‘The one in the tweed jacket with elbow patches who kept asking you to redo your parts?’

‘Sadly, yes,’ Bon confirms. ‘Though he looks so much more like a bum now.’

Miyokichi giggles. ‘No wonder he looked familiar! Perhaps it was like he was pulling your pigtails.’

‘My what?’ Bon asks, aghast. 

She shrugs. ‘You know. Boys. They tease the people they like. It doesn’t personally work on me, but I’ve always suspected that you preferred the other team. You know, bats over mitts, sausages over eggs--’ Bon claps a hand over her mouth, then looks around nervously to see if any customers overheard her. He leans forward and speaks more quietly than before, just in case. 

‘You were there when I had a crush on Shin in elementary school. You know I like men.’

Miyokichi smiles wistfully. ‘Yes, but a girl can dream. Whatever happened to Shin, anyway? He transferred out, didn’t he?’

‘To some art school,’ Bon says. ‘Some art school.’

Miyokichi’s gaze sharpens, and Bon shifts uncomfortably. He’s always disliked that look. He remembers one afternoon at an informal elementary spelling bee when she had gotten M-E-R-I-N-G-U-E right and he had stood there miserably, wilting in the heat, holding up M-E-R-A-N-G. This was exactly like that. When she knew something he didn’t.

Bon licked his lips as he stared at Shin from his spot on the stage. The other man was spit his lines, cocky smirk present on his face. They had practiced this stage for so long, and Shin was making that practice pay off. His movements were effortless, owning the stage.

From his spot on the stage, Shin rapped like he had never rapped before. The lyrics left his mouth with several emotions bubbling out from his chest. He had never performed on a stage this large ever in his life, and the feeling of having thousands of people watching his movements and hanging off of his every word made him feel drunk with power.

As Bon's verse came in, the man began walking towards the center of the stage. His voice was smooth, no hesitation once so ever. Shin mirrored his movement move for move.

Then suddenly, the bass dropped, drawing the forth screams from the audience. Bon and Shin rocked their bodies to the beat, grins on their faces as they approached the center.

As the climax to the song approached, Shin waved Bon over to him, his rough voice blending in with Bon's smooth, light voice. The two males locked eyes and for a moment, they stilled. A gleam entered Shin's eyes and Bon's eyes narrowed in response. A silent conversation passed between them and the smirk widened on his face before he reached a hand out.

Bon thanked the gods that his verse ended, because he let out a gasp as he was dragged right towards Shin's face. Their foreheads bumped against each other and their eyes locked with each other instantly. The sounds of the audience drowned out Shin's voice, but the man kept rapping hard, sweat pouring down his face. Bon followed one of the drops down as it trailed down his face. He licked his lips subconsciously before moving his eyes back up towards Shin's eyes.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Shin's hand right next to his cheek, clutching onto his microphone tightly. The next moment happened unconsciously, with Bon's face growing slightly red in response. Licking his lips again, Bon leaned his face over, kissing Shin's knuckles and staring at his partner with a heated gaze.

Shin gritted his teeth, snarling the next lyric out. His eyes darkened a bit in lust and he moved a hand up to push Bon away. Bon let a smirk come back to his face, bringing his mic back to his face to join in for the last part of the song. While Shin looked composed in front of the audience, Bon knew differently.

He could see how torn the other male looked, face twisted up in frustration and lust. And a shiver went down Bon's spine as he thought about what would happen once the concert was over that night.

Bon just stared back at her, blank expression on his face. His only response was him letting out a hum before averting his gaze. He was well aware of how different he was, had been aware ever since he was a young child going through adolesence. While the other men of their company talked about the women that had captured their interest and how lovely the curves of their bodies were and how they wished to lay with them, Bon spent his time focusing on his work and his craft.

Many would probably say, and have said, that he was just too focused on his work. That he needed to relax and spent a nice evening with some ladies to unwind his tense body. That was part of the reason why his Master had been so ready to offer Miyokichi for her “services”.

But Bon found himself looking forward to the conversation and the company, rather than any services that she had been expecting to perform. Sure, they spent quite a few nights wrapped under the comfort of the moonlight, their lips locked in heady kisses that no one but themselves were aware of. And Bon would be lying if he were to say that he didn't enjoy those close moments. During a time of his life where he was constantly working and was lacking in company outside of Shin, it was welcome.

Anything other than those close moments though...Bon was not interested in in the least.

Seeing Miyokichi move out of the corner of his eye, Bon gazed over at Miyokichi as she crawled closer to him, lips turned up as though she knew a secret that begged to be told. He tipped his head up as she grew closer, eyes falling half-closed. Their eyes locked with each other and Bon found himself letting out a soft breath before he closed to distance between the two of them.

The kiss was sweet and gentle, although slightly wanting as well. Bon flinched the tiniest bit as he felt Miyokichi's hands touched his chest. Thankfully, instead of moving downwards like he feared they would, they slowly moved upwards, cupping his face to pull him deeper into the kiss. Bon let himself be led, tilting his head in response to Miyokichi's guidance.

The sound of the door opening suddenly cause Miyokichi to jump off of him in an instant, trying to quickly compose herself. Bon licked his lips subconsciously as his eyes slid over towards the door, where he saw Miyokichi's friend at the door. The woman glanced between Bon and Miyokichi, eyebrow raising in suspicion in an instant. The woman called Miyokichi over, staring at Bon in the meantime.

As the two women left the room for a moment, Bon sighed and gazed outside through the window beside him. Sometimes things were more trouble than they were worth...

Bon softly wandered into the house, silently shutting the door behind him. It was well after midnight, much later than he usually came home. He was sure Shin was already home, since the other male mentioned that he had an appointment early in the morning that he had to attend. Bon only hoped that Shin was asleep, so that he didn't have to hear the other man's babble.

Of course, Bon had never been lucky. So when he opened the door and noticed Shin sitting in the center of the room, nursing a bottle of alcohol, Bon sighed softly to himself. It looked as though he wouldn't be having a peaceful night.

Shutting the door behind himself, Bon caught Shin's eyes and the two males stared at each other for several moments. The only sound were the sounds of drunken patrions coming from downstairs, along with the occasional cat begging for food. Then, Shin broke the silence with a barking laugh, the bottle in his hands slamming down on the table.

Bon's eyebrows furrowed at the loud noise, watching his friend closely. The man continued to laugh, pounding his hand on the table as though Bon had just told a funny joke.

Sneering at the loud noise, Bon walked over towards Shin, taking the bottle away from the other male. “Will you stop making so much noise, you fool? It is the middle of the night,” he snapped.

The other man’s loud laughter cut off suddenly. Shin just stared up at him, eyes glazed over with exhaustion and drunkenness. Sighing, Bon just shook his head. “I don't have the patience for this. Get up, Shin. You need to go to bed.”

A grunt left Shin's mouth, the humor from earlier having completely left his body. The man stood with him, letting himself be dragged to bed. Bon worked silently, taking off the other male's clothes so that he could go to bed. As he folded up his clothes, placing them at the foot of their bed, Bon took off his own clothes, slipping into his night clothes.

“I don't like it when you go over to that woman's house,” Shin's voice said from behind him.

Blinking for a moment, Bon glanced over his shoulder to see Shin staring at him, serious expression on his face. Humming to himself, Bon walked over towards the bed, pulling back to sheets and slipping inside the warm comfort of their bed.

“What nonsense are you babbling about this time?” Bon asked.

“I don't like sharing you with that girl you like to see. You always come back smelling like flowers and your lips stained with lipstick,” Shin said, staring at Bon in the low light.

Faint flush coming to his face, Bon averted his gaze. “Whoever said anything about sharing? I've told you already that there's nothing going between us.”

Shin just scoffed, but said nothing. He chose instead of wrap his arms around Bon's stomach, pulling the male close to his chest. Grunting at the tight embrace, Bon let himself to rearranged by Shin until the two of them were tangled together, legs intertwined with each other. The two males then fell silent, letting the sound of their breathing and the outside white noise float over them.

“...Do you really think that I'm in a relationship Miyokichi?” Bon whispered a few moments later, so soft that if it had been anyone else that he was talking to, Bon would fear that they wouldn't have heard him and that he would have to repeat himself.

Shin didn't respond for a moment, his grip tightening around Bon's mid-section. But, the other male let out a sigh, hot breath brushing against the back of Bon's neck. “...I don't know. There's something between you two that only you two have. She...she brings out something that I can't and it makes me...frustrated in a way.”

“That doesn't mean that I'm in a relationship with her. I...I just feel comfortable with her. I feel as though I can be myself around her,” he confessed. “I don't feel pressured to act a certain way around her.”

“Do you normally feel pressured around me?” Shin asked in mild shock, actually looking at Bon.

Sensing the change in conversation, Bon shakes his head, letting out a heavy breath. “No. You are good about keeping yourself in check, as much as I know it frustrates you. I just...I feel as though I'm constantly disappointing you. I feel as though I am not good enough, just because I am not interested in the sexual aspect of this relationship. It makes me feel as though what we have is meaningless unless there’s sex involved-”

“Bon!” Shin exclaimed suddenly, causing Bon to jump a bit at the loud sound.

“W-what?” Bon asked in surprise.

Moving his arms from around Bon's body, Shin sat up, pushing the sheet off of them. “I'm not going to have sex with you because you feel as though you have to. Of course, I'd love to have sex with you. But if that comes at the expense of hurting you, then I don't want it.” Shin reached over to grab Bon's hands, holding onto them tightly.

“Your comfort is more important to me than my libido.” Eyes falling shut, Shin kissed Bon's hand, causing the other male's heart to skip a beat.

“Shin...” Bon trailed off, not quite sure what to say. He gave a small smile, lips trembling from emotion at the blatant confession.

“Promise me that you'll never let yourself be pressured to do something you don't want to do for my expense,” Shin said, encouraging smile coming to his face.

“I-I promise.” Bon sat up as well, giving a shy smile as his face grew warm.

Shin grinned wider at the flustered expression on Bon's face and scooted closer, bringing his hands up to cradle Bon's face. Bon let himself be dragged forward into a light kiss. Compared to the other kisses that they've had, this one was very tame. And yet, it had much more meaning than any kiss he has had in his life. With this kiss, it felt as though something had finally solidified between the two of them that needed to happen months ago.

Sukeroku grins, and rests his chin on the hilt of the great sword he still carries around. ‘But there would be no one to protect you.’

Bon doesn’t miss the Imperial Palace. He does miss the finery and the brocade gowns, and the soft laughter of elegant court ladies. He doesn’t miss the bowing or the scraping or the fearful looks the maids give him. Here, in the countryside, the maids are stout and red-cheeked, and their laughs echo through the small compound. 

The ground beneath Bon is no longer the firm stone of a courtyard. When he steps outside, it is in mud and grass, and the palace is on a gently sloping hill. The lake in the garden is a real one fed from higher up in the mountains, and most days Bon has no reason to close the heavy wooden doors that lead into the palace. 

Nobody wants to kill an abdicated royal.

He thanks Miyokichi privately. A concubine that had risen through the Emperor’s ranks rapidly and usurped the Empress, she had been gentle with Bon when the old Emperor died.

‘You could rule,’ she offered, but Bon had declined. He had no desire to, and thus Miyokichi had ascended to Empress. He had stayed on twelve more years until her son that turned eighteen. After that, he had requested to be sent to the small Summer Palace in the west, far away from the capital.

He had been a very poor fit for the job of Crown Prince, at any rate.  

‘There is no one to protect me from,’ Bon says haughtily, and turns his face away from Sukeroku’s grin. This oaf of a bodyguard had insisted on coming along, and in his eyes Bon can see the hope for what they could finally have together here.

Sukeroku follows him out into the garden, past the willow trees weeping softly into the lake. ‘From mosquitoes, my lord.’

‘You are a silly one,’ Bon says, and sits down on a stone bench. Sukeroku remains standing, looking down at him. ‘It’ll be quiet here for a very long time. It’ll be boring for someone as hot-headed as you.’

Bon is inordinately fond of Sukeroku. They’d been paired when they were sixteen, a royal and his bodyguard, and they’ve been together ever since. Now, Bon’s hair is greying, and Sukeroku is growing thick around the belly. 

‘It doesn’t matter how many quiet years pass,’ Sukeroku says easily, and sits down close enough to crowd Bon to one side of the bench. ‘As long as I can be by your side.’

Shin walks over, making sure to brush against Bon’s skin as he picks up a wet cloth from the pail and runs it over his back. It elicits a shiver from Bon, the touch cool and gentle on his overheated flesh. Shin smirks and fiddles with the cloth. ‘This is heavy stuff, the clothes.’

‘It’s very warm,’ Bon agrees. The length of his neck is still smeared with white make-up, and Bon wonders how he’ll be able to get it off later if the cursory wipe-down proves to be insufficient. Are there any bath-houses open this late? Perhaps Miyokichi had left some things behind before she had to leave?

‘Where did your girlfriend go, anyway?’ Shin asks. ‘Shouldn’t she be doing this? She knows this stuff better after all.’ 

Bon exhales loudly as the knot is finally undone, the kimono coming apart gently and exposing his body to the cool air of the summer night. ‘An important client sent for her. And she’s not my girlfriend. She’s Master’s mistress.’

‘Yet you come back with lipstick on your lips,’ Shin says, and there’s a sudden weight against Bon’s back as Shin presses close, voice low beside his ear. ‘Hmm?’

Bon turns around. The make-up is still on his face, and he knows it elicits some kind of strange feeling in Shin to see him dressed up this way. Feminine and graceful, the slope of his eyes drawing in any onlooker. The audience had been enchanted, and here Shin is, eating out of the palm of his hand.

‘I want to fuck you today,’ Bon says, and Shin’s breath quickens in excitement.

‘Sure,’ he says, and licks his lips.

+

When Shin is dozing off after sex, Bon rises. He wipes the make-up from his face and prises Shin’s thighs apart, earning him a lazy grumble and batting in the general direction of his face. 

‘Wha--’ he slurs, sleep-bleary. ‘Not one more round.’

Bon nuzzles into Shin’s hand, affection taking over in the wee hours in the morning. ‘I’m just cleaning you up.’

‘Mmm,’ Shin says, and goes back to sleep. Bon kisses up the insides of Shin’s thighs, brushing against the coarse hairs. His fingers tighten on Shin’s legs as he heaves himself up to lie atop Shin, pushing a lazy kiss into his cheek.

‘Yer hot,’ Shin complains, but grins sleepily. ‘Guess we can share.’

When Bon had accepted his apprenticeship to the local shrine, he hadn't expected--well, this. But one could argue that Sukeroku was unexpected in a great many ways. He was a frivolous little fox-god, and his bushy red tails peeped out from under his ratty robe ever so often. Bon had heard tales of the former deity of the shrine that Sukeroku had been sent to replace, and wonders why she hadn't stayed.

'She was beautiful,' head priest Yakumo had sighed. 'Almond-shaped eyes, dainty feet, and white tails. And you never saw her lounging about either. Hardworking and beautiful.'

Bon had listened carefully, and then turned to stare at Sukeroku, who was listening in from behind the head priest.

Sukeroku winks at Bon. 'Eh? Well?'

'You're not even technically a deity,' Bon says. 'Just a messenger.'

Sukeroku rolls onto his back midair and grins wolfishly at Bon upside-down. 'But messengers can have sweet lips. All the better to pass a good tale or two on to the gods, see? To reward hardworking villages with very pretty shrine attendants.'

'Perhaps one kiss,' Bon says, just to see the surprise on Sukeroku's face.

Sweeping is dull, especially in a stone courtyard. The torii gates up to the shrine are worn, and the village is too small to offer much in the way of upkeep. There are wild grasses constantly encroaching on the little temple from all sides, and some days they are thankful that there is rice to eat.

But Sukeroku kisses gently as can be, and Bon's never kissed before but he knows to close his eyes and tilt his head upwards. It's infuriating how much taller and broader Sukeroku is-- he creeps closer to adulthood every year, and Bon has heard him boast to Head Priest that he's 810 years old now, thank you very much, won't be taking orders from anyone!

He reaches up and tugs Sukeroku closer.

 ‘The both of you are living in an apartment together,’ Miyokichi says, smiling. They’re the only two left in the theatre. The other two have wandered off in the direction of the gift shop, and Bon is still in a dreamy state after the play. ‘Sensei told me that.’ There is something in the way she looks at him that tells him that she isn’t entirely oblivious to the way Hatsuta behaves when they’re alone.

‘He’s just a lech,’ Bon says, and his excuse sounds more feeble aloud than it had in his head. ‘He likes things that are convenient for him.’

Miyokichi laughs. ‘Like master, like futatsume!’ She brings a finger up to her lips, but the mirth stays. ‘I suppose we are both fools.’

Kiku likes her more and more.

+

‘You spent way too much time with Miyokichi today,’ Shin complains. He lights his cigarette with live coals from the brazier, and lazes around on the floor reciting rakugo classics. ‘I’m starting to feel left out.’

Bon looks up. ‘Really,’ he says flatly. ‘Perhaps you ought to try getting a job. I’m sure that would help alleviate your feelings of loneliness.’

‘What’s a man to do when his lover treats him so coldly?’ Shin drawls, grinning at Bon like a dog that has unearthed a bone after an hour of rooting about fruitlessly in the soil. ‘Let’s have the night to ourselves, eh? I have no bookings for tonight or tomorrow morning. Let’s make the most of it.’

Bon holds the rakugo book aloft, keeping it between them. ‘I have to practice,’ he says primly. Shin sulks and Bon exhales, relieved at having fended off his advances for the night, and resumes reading the script aloud.

‘Well then, you can just go home --Ah!’ Bon jerks as arms wrap around him. It’s Shin. Who else? The hot breath against the nape of his neck, the smell of tobacco and booze, the feel of stubble through cloth. Bon sighs and gives in. Shin’s kisses haven’t changed one bit over the years. Rough, demanding, pressuring Bon into yielding to him. His arms shift Bon so that they shift to face each other, and Bon grips the collar of Shin’s yukata tightly as Shin lowers him to the floor.

‘You’re mine,’ Shin says. ‘Not Master’s, and not Miyokichi’s. Do you understand? I saw you first.’ His face, half-lit by the fire from the brazier, reminds Bon of autumn nights in the tea house where his mother danced. Shin is a wild creature, untamed by years spent in civilization.