My Suite Mate Mollie: A Thrilling Saga of College Craziness
PART ONE: TOILET FISH
One night I arrive back in my dorm around 2am, after a crazy night of watching movies with my friends. All I want now is to brush my teeth, wash my face, change, and crawl in bed. My roommate isn’t here so I can, for once, get ready at my own pace and volume without fear of waking her up. So as I unpack my stuff from the day and gather what I need for the bathroom I remember I bought new toilet paper for our shared bathroom. I grab a roll really quickly to put in its place so I can put the rest of the pack away. The bathroom door is latched shut, which is odd because we never lock it. I quickly assume someone in Mollie’s room wanted extra privacy and make a mental note that apparently you can latch someone’s door from inside the bathroom. I opened the bathroom door and stepped in, leaning over the toilet to grab the toilet paper holder. That’s when I notice...blood? Possibly? in the toilet. I’m a bit concerned but no worries I’ll flush and be on my way. Except, on second glance the blood is orange, and has eyes, and is contained to a few sections of water, and HOLY SHIT THERE ARE THREE TINY GOLDFISH IN MY TOILET, NOPITY NOPE NOPE NO. I left the bathroom as quickly as I could and refused to re-enter. Half and hot and half a dozen crazed texts later I check to make sure I saw what I thought I saw, there were still fish in my toilet. I brushed my teeth, and then went to the lobby to pee because fuck if I’m messing with the toilet fish. The next morning they were gone and I only had the insane story to tell. My roommate asked someone she knew that is friends with Mollie if she had any fish. They said no, but Mollie did get a pet crawfish over the weekend. That is weirder, and still doesn’t answer the mystery of the fish. For the next couple of days there were rainbow aquarium rocks on the bathroom floor so there is no doubt the fish came from Mollie’s room.
