#sucked.

Okay calling as a reylo fic. I mean cmon there’s even a Hux (redhead. Skinny. Severe. Call me monosyllable name.) And I think it would be fun if the Nightmare is Kylo and the destrier is Ren lol. And somehow together they’ll be the love interest. (Or maybe the nightmare is poe idk, he's sassy)

(I get so distracted reading these books. They’re not always bad even but I keep drifting off thinking abt fic. Maybe because they feel written the same way? I read Circe and holy shit I was locked in? But the romantasy stuff in my pile just… idk I mean it could be gayer for one thing lol.)

Girl did you have an editor?? There are so many repeat phrases. And several—what i would consider typos but I think are conflations—poor word choices unless/lest, tarry/hurry, evoke/invoke. Egregiously bad scene where I have no idea where anyone IS the other characters just left and they were suddenly on stairs? Which is very “rushed this chapter sorry guys” that never got read for actual content again, just as a scaffold for a bit of dialog. (Which is fine in fic I am guilty of this!! But. Like if you’re gonna make a book can we please make a book??)

More typos. Also someone search up how many times she uses “wary” and what percentage of the epigraphs are “wary” because it’s high. Okay but i came here to say: nightmare is for sure an aspect of ravyn. The kylo to his ben lol. The nightmare is quiet when he’s around huh? Almost like he’s not there huh?? Or idk maybe ravyn is the spirit of the wood and the nightmares true love reincarnated and makes him quiet or something lame like that.

Elusive/evasive.

A static rhythm are you kidding???? Staccato?!?!

“Not reticent to be outdone” girl put down the thesaurus.

My problem is that she has the tendency to use incongruous words that sound like a clever twist on their use but in my opinion are just wrong “cards emanating colorfully from a few pockets” she means the colors are emanating from the cards, and that’s almost what it sounds like, but it’s not. Words mean things. The cards are not emerging from pockets, the colors are. Light could emanate colorfully just fine. Ugh.

When the other guy said a thing he disagreed with "he brooked no argument". Girl learn what words mean!!! "Brook" means tolerate!! He didn’t argue—brooking no argument means you don't accept the argument, that’s completely different!!

Wait is jespyr poe? Lmao. I had assumed the sibs were jacen and jaina but maybe they combined jaina and poe. (I guess emory oughta be Anakin tho since he’s much younger?)

Obvs the shepherd king is anakin and the nightmare is vader—but is the nightmare also kylo? Because kylo/vader being the same is cute, maybe she realized it was confusing and is just gonna let it stay vader. 

"Galley railing." Is she doing this on purpose? They’ve just left the king’s chambers (in a castle, on the ground) and haven’t yet gotten to the main stairwell. Is it a gallery railing? Like a hallway? They shouldn’t be anywhere near a kitchen?? Much less anything ship related (except that this is a starwar lol)

I also don’t like “flickering his gaze” when referring to looking at someone else. Presumably it’s flicking a gaze, as in quickly looking at someone else, but it reads like they’re looking back and forth between two things which they are not! (these are the times I want the ebook version so i can search up how many FUCKIGN times she uses this phrase)

Okay the second book is much less of a slog, I think mostly because it's split into 3ish POV so it moves along faster and you're not stuck in one (the most boring) character's head the whole time?

Hah. Tree shepherding. Very fun that the reylos really took the starkiller base fight to “trees that can walk around” (at least twice anyway). Love a fandom hallmark. That and snow of course.

lmFAO enfys ness just showed up. 

Spouse posits a harry potter crossover which would go a long way towards explaining the overly complicated world building—the infection (the force) and the cards (magic) And (importantly) would explain where all the women came from. (Now I do sort of wonder if hux/rose is actually like. Dramione??? Because they’re card users and not force users? And Ione’s teeth is a big focus. Her personality does not fit (but then again neither does rey lol) I think it’s still hux, the nightmare might be Sirius tho (or james what with the ravyn relationship, and then lily was made his sister instead), which makes brutus petigrew. Jesper is Harry, I guess, the destriers being aurors? Maybe it’s not a crossover but two fics jammed together lol. 

“I’ve not sure those bitches didn’t break something in my face, too.” Girrrrrl. Daddy shoulda bought you a better editor chrrriiiist, read your gd book.

Wait SNAPE! Ofc lmao. The half blood king. Looks just like Kylo. 

“They’ll be time for all manner of sordid things” I’m gonna YAK!!! Lmao! I should just hammer out 100k and throw away a few grand to publish a book lmfao