Imagine Ten could bring Rose to his home planet, walk her around, introduce her to his people's culture. And one thing they both love most is food. What sorts of food (and beverages) do you think he could show off to Rose? Would he recommend his faves? Something that's "tolerable" for human taste? Or a (probably safe) menu that's beyond reckoning to see what her reaction would be? A cool date in Gallifrey.
If you have your own food culture ideas that make Gallifrey good for tourist attraction to hop on to if they were open for other species, then that'd be brilliant, thanks ♡
They'd arrive on the celebration known as Otherstide. The Doctor would park the TARDIS just beyond his childhood home in the region of Prydon, where they'd walk across the still and beautiful red grass fields gleaming under the twin suns. Rose would be filled with awe at the range of weird and wonderful wildlife and would be asking a million questions, some of which the Doctor would seriously struggle to answer. Eventually the Doctor would pick a spot and reveal from his transcendental pockets a complete picnic. Sandwiches, fruits, wine, and even a standard gallifreyan tea set, comprising around 180 pieces that come out of his pockets one by one, somehow all intact.
This particular custom could be paid for as an tourist experience with some trained gallifreyan in a posh frock, but here the Doctor would be able to serve just fine. Rose would certainly enjoy the tea, with hundreds of varieties made from the unique flora of Gallifrey - there's plenty to choose from, including the strong-smelling tristort fern, schlenk blossoms, or what's probably going to be her favourite, 'arkytior', which is a pearly-grey gallifreyan rose.
This plethora of tea would be accompanied by a couple of Baanjxx meat sandwiches and Rassilon's Red wine, during which the Doctor would recount to Rose:
'You know, I got kicked in the head by a Baanjxx when I was a kid.'
'That literally explains everythin'.'
Baanjxx sandwiches are by no means particularly elegant and can be a bit chewy, but the taste would be alien enough for Rose to find it utterly fascinating. Alongside the sandwiches and wine would be some of the sweet fruits of the Ulandan tree, which tastes like a cross between lemon and mango and Rose wouldn't quite be able to work out which one.
Now full of tea and desperate for a wee they'd retreat to the TARDIS. Rose would sort herself out as the Doctor takes them to the renowned Prydos market, where they'd spend the early afternoon browsing the stalls filled with products and food from across the entire universe, including Earth. She wouldn't be able to resist buying some chips, but things never quite taste the same on a different planet do they? Bit soggy. But she'd get something for her mum as a memento.
Then, due to her persistent nagging, they go to the Capitol. It's mind-blowing for her. After the hustle and bustle of the market of Prydos it's an entirely new experience. Men and women looking sombre in peacock collars, giving her slightly strange looks she can't even be bothered to register. She and the Doctor would spend the rest of the dying afternoon in the Capitol together, exploring. He's used to it, and she would be leading.
Then as the evening approaches it's time for the main meal. Since all the these posh capitol Time Lords and Ladies are content eating blocks of coloured protein, you can't stay in the Capitol for a good meal. He and Rose would catch the next skimmer, the most tourist-friendly being longboat-like ships that fly through the sky from city to city. They'd alight at Arcadia, which would be a hive of activity on Otherstide. The Palace of Arcadia is known to be probably the best restaurant on Gallifrey, but the Doctor prefers a bit of gritty reality, so would go for a more low key establishment.
For starters, it's going to be either a broth or some dactyl eggs, the latter of which has been especially imported for Otherstide. This would be followed by roasted sealak (a gallifreyan delicacy, which is probably fish) with roasted grockleroots (mildly alcoholic - have fun), and side of lushberries (probably edible) sprinkled with swamp mint. Karmine pudding is the finale in a blue fruit sauce.
'What's blue fruit?'
She'd ask.
'Err ... A fruit that's blue.'
He'd reply.
(me) For the more daring foodie, there is what's known as a varga plant. Native to Skaro, the home of the Daleks, these plants are usually deadly and able to instantly kill Time Lords, ignoring regeneration. But when specially prepared its leaves can be used for tea making or soup. Just like fugu from Japan, this requires a specialist chef with plenty of certificates to wave around before preparing. Unfortunately since being a chef is not deemed a noble profession by the Citadel folk, there aren't many accredited ones around. This makes varga a sort of dirty commodity, as it's rumoured that having a bit more varga than is reasonable can get even the most biologically balanced gallifreyan brain, err, 'totally bombed'.
Luckily since the Doctor's already done this in his youth and one sip would probably kill Rose, they opt not to.
Then once the meal is over, it's time for the drinks. The elite class rather frown upon these sorts of frolics, so you'll find the best clubs and bars in the Low Town. This is in the depths of the Capitol, run by Shobogans. These are the real dives, filled with quick fights, dirty elbows, and old gallifreyans in the corners ranting about how time travel isn't what it used to be.
Gallifreyan drinks aren't IMMEDIATELY fatal to humans, but if you spend an entire night out with a gallifreyan in Low Town you're probably going to need a new liver. Fortunately the Doctor would have the foresight to arrange for Rose's drinks to be slightly less potent. He'd watch over her as she bopped the night away dancing to the gallifreyan top twenty (actual thing). She starts with the Orneilian Wine and Milean Head Juice, before becoming drunk enough to get a little bit hooked on Bog-Truffle Tincture. She'll have anything she can try, purely because she's having one of the best nights of her life with the man she adores on a planet she may never see again that means so much to him.
The twins sun would begin to rise and they'd realise they've been out all night. They make their way back up to the Capitol, before the Doctor stops her at a food dispenser. He would absolutely refuse to leave without having Rose trying a Promarzzi bar. They're beige blocks of pure chewy stodge. He thinks they're amazing because he grew up on them, but they genuinely taste like pond weed. Rose would tell him that and he'd reluctantly agree, but counter:
'But they actually try to choke you as you eat them, isn't that fun?'









