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gone a little crazy on substack lately so here are the posts i've written in the past 2 weeks:
I'm Afraid Nobody Will Fall In Love With Me (read here)
Do You Know What You Look Like? (read here)
That Time I Got Cancelled (read here)
Losing To Your Younger Self (read here)
Holy Ghosts And Other Diagnoses (read here)
Your Definition Of Yourself Is Wrong (read here)
Elegy For The Girl Who Almost Spoke (read here)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Betwixt the Veil
I didn't wanna write a whole tumblr post about it and I wanted to start making my own theory anyways so, have a late night post about the recent "Dump your Puppygirl" article that's been making the rounds in transfeminist circles.
Tara Knight's essay does not say anything meaningful from a transfeminist or Marxist perspective; and in fact shows her ass quite a bit.
To be clear; though I am incredibly critical of Tara Knight, I cannot in any good conscience say that she is evil or some horrid woman who needs to be witch hunted. She's clearly a trans woman who is hurting from a relationship and I think it's important to give her grace on that front; but that said, it is also important to respond to this stuff when we see it so that we can further the progressive aims of our movement.
excerpt from: eds are contagious, just ask your little sister
read my first essay The Undying Garden on substack!
This is inspired from cherished friendships that I am fortunate to have in my life.
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read my latest substack article "you couldn't even handle her" with the link attached! consider following me on there or subscribing to @/antlerarchives if my content interests you! feel free to share your thoughts in the comments under this post as well.
“You couldn’t even handle her!” is an exasperated statement directed towards the receptance of widely disliked or “misunderstood” fictional female characters. Its origins can be traced to Twitter/X and Tumblr, where it was used as a rebuttal against people who claimed they wished to see more challenging, deeply flawed women in media but proceeded to bash them when they were actually depicted on screen or page.
ᴡᴏᴀʜ, sᴇʟғ-ᴇxᴘʀᴇssɪᴏɴ!
-ˋˏ✃ 𓍯 ༝˚ ༝⚉ ⋆.
ɴᴏᴛᴇ: ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴɪɴɢ, ɪᴛ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɢᴇᴛs ᴏʟᴅ. ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ʙᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛʏᴘᴏs. ᴛʜɪs ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ʙᴇ ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ʟᴇɴɢᴛʜʏ ᴛᴏᴏ, ɪ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋ.
-ˋˏ✃ 𓍯 ༝˚ ༝⚉ ⋆.
ɪ ᴡᴀs ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜɪs ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ɪɴᴛʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ғᴀsʜɪᴏɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪɪɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛᴏ. ɪғ ɪᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴍᴇ ʟᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ғɪғᴛᴇᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪʀᴛʏ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴛʏᴘᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴏғғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴍᴇ, ɪᴛ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ.
ᴀɴʏᴡᴀʏs, sᴛʏʟᴇ! ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ sᴏ ᴄᴏᴏʟ sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs. ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʜᴏᴡ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ɴᴏᴡ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ sᴇᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴏ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪɴᴄʀᴇᴅɪʙʟʏ ᴅᴜᴍʙ, ʀᴜᴅᴇ, ᴏʀ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟʟʏ ᴛᴇʀʀɪʙʟᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴏ, "ɪ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ"? ɪғ ɴᴏᴛ: ᴅᴜᴅᴇ, ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴘᴏsɪᴛɪᴠᴇ, ɪ sᴛʀɪᴠᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ɢᴇɴᴜɪɴᴇʟʏ ᴀᴡᴇsᴏᴍᴇ, ɴᴏ sᴄᴀʀᴄᴀsᴍ ɪɴᴛᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪғ sᴏ: ᴍᴇ sᴇᴇɪɴɢ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴏᴜᴛғɪᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɴᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇxᴛ ᴅᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴇxᴀᴄᴛ ᴏᴘᴘᴏsɪᴛᴇ.
ᴀs ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴀs ɪ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴏɴ, ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴄʟᴏᴛʜᴇs. ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ, ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ, ɪ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ғʀᴇᴇ ʀᴇɪɢɴ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴍʏ sᴛʏʟᴇ. ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙᴜʏ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴊᴏʙ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍʏ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs ᴀʀᴇ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴏᴠᴇʀʙᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴄᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴ ᴛʜɪɴɢs. ᴍʏ ᴍᴏᴍ ɢᴏᴛ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴡᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ 'ғᴀʟʟ ʙᴏᴏᴛs' ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ᴘᴀᴊᴀᴍᴀ sᴘɪʀɪᴛ ᴅᴀʏs sᴄʜᴏᴏʟs ʜᴀᴠᴇ? ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄɪᴘᴀᴛᴇ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ sᴏ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ 'ᴜɴᴘʀᴏғᴇssɪᴏɴᴀʟ'. ᴡʜɪᴄʜ, ʟɪᴛᴇʀᴀʟʟʏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏᴇs ᴛʜɪs ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴘʀᴏғᴇssɪᴏɴᴀʟ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ'ᴍ ᴜɴᴇᴍᴘʟᴏʏᴇᴅ?? (ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴀɴsᴡᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ).
ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴅɪɢʀᴇss. ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴅʀᴇss ɴᴏᴡ ɪs ʜᴇᴀᴠɪʟʏ ɪɴғʟᴜᴇɴᴄᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀɴᴇᴛ, ᴡᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜɪs ʙʏ ɴᴏᴡ. ɪᴛ's ᴡʜʏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴛᴏᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴘᴏʟɪᴄɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴜɴɪᴛʏ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ᴛᴏ ʜᴏᴡ ᴀ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ᴅʀᴇssᴇs ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʟᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘᴏʟɪᴄɪɴɢ ɪᴛ ᴛᴜʀɴ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴀʟɪᴇxᴘʀᴇss ᴏɴ. ɪ ғɪɴᴅ ɪᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ sᴀʏ, 'ʜᴇʏ, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪ ᴡᴇᴀʀ ɪs ʙᴀsᴇᴅ ᴏғғ ᴏғ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ ɪᴅᴇᴀs ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟ ɢʀᴏᴡᴛʜ" ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ, 'ᴛʜɪs ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴏʀ sᴀɪᴅ ɪ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴡᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜɪs, sᴏ ɪ ʙᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ɪᴛ'.
sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴅɪᴄᴛᴀᴛᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴇᴀʀ. ᴇsᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟʟʏ ɪғ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ғᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴛʀᴇɴᴅ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇɴ ɪᴛ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀ ᴛʜᴇ-ʙʟɪɴᴅ-ʟᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ-ᴛʜᴇ-ʙʟɪɴᴅ sɪᴛᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ɪᴛ, ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴍɪʟᴅʟʏ ᴀɴɴᴏʏs ᴍᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏs ᴛᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ, "ʜᴇʏ ɢᴜʏs, sᴏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ sʜᴏᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ʙᴜʏɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪs sᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ??" "ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴋᴘᴀᴄᴋs ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ɴᴇxᴛ ʏᴇᴀʀ?" "ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴄʜʀɪsᴛᴍᴀs?" ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ɴᴏ ᴡᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴀsᴋ ғᴏʀ sᴛᴜғғ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ. ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ ʜᴀs ᴛᴏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪᴛ. ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴀsᴋɪɴɢ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀs ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʏ ғᴏʀ ᴏᴜʀsᴇʟᴠᴇs ᴀᴛ ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛʏ-sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴏʟᴅ? ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ʜɪᴠᴇᴍɪɴᴅ. ɪᴛ's ᴏᴋᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ.
..
ᴏᴋᴀʏ sᴏ ᴛʜɪs ᴡᴀs ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀɴ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴛᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ᴄᴏᴏʟ ғᴀsʜɪᴏɴ ɪs, sᴏ ɪ'ʟʟ ᴡʀᴀᴘ ᴛʜɪs ᴜᴘ. ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ sᴜʙᴄᴜʟᴛᴜʀᴇs ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴏᴡ sᴛʏʟᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ʙʀɪɴɢ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ. ɪ ᴀʟsᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪɴᴅɪᴠɪᴅᴜᴀʟɪᴛʏ ɪɴ ᴀ "ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴇʟsᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴏғ ᴏʀ ᴡᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜɪs" ᴡᴀʏ. ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ sᴏᴄɪᴇᴛʏ ɴᴇᴇᴅs ᴀ ᴍɪx ᴏғ ʙᴏᴛʜ, ʙᴜᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴏɴ ᴀ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟ ʟᴇᴠᴇʟ. ᴡᴇ sʜᴀʀᴇ sɪᴍɪʟᴀʀ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs, ʙᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs ᴀʀᴇɴ'ᴛ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀʙᴏɴ-ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏғ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ's. ᴍʏ ᴄʟᴏᴛʜᴇs sʜᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴘᴜʀᴘᴏsᴇғᴜʟʟʏ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇxᴀᴄᴛ sᴀᴍᴇ ᴀs ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ's ᴇɪᴛʜᴇʀ.
ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ ᴄʟᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪs sᴛɪʟʟ ᴛᴇᴄʜɴɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴀ sᴛʏʟᴇ,
-ᴍɪʏᴀ
-ˋˏ✃ 𓍯 ༝˚ ༝⚉ ⋆.
ᴘ.s.,
ʜᴏʟʏ ʀᴀᴍʙʟᴇ. ᴅʀᴇss ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ᴅʀᴇss. ғᴏʟʟᴏᴡ ᴀ ᴛʀᴇɴᴅ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴇᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴ ɪᴛ, ɴᴏᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪᴛ's ᴘᴏᴘᴜʟᴀʀ! ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ʟɪᴛᴇʀᴀʟʟʏ ᴅᴏ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ. ᴀʟsᴏ, ɢᴏᴛʜs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜʏ ᴀᴇsᴛʜᴇᴛɪᴄ ᴀʀᴇ sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴏʟ. ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇs ɴᴏᴡ. ᴀʟsᴏ ɪ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪsᴇ ᴍᴇ ʀᴀɴᴅᴏᴍʟʏ ʙʀɪɴɢɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ᴍʏ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs ɪsɴ'ᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴠᴇɴᴛ, ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴜғғ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴏ ɪs ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ᴀɴɴᴏʏɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴀ ғᴜɴɴʏ ᴡᴀʏ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴘɪᴄ. ᴏᴋᴀʏ, ʙʏᴇ.
Anybody who has lurked on the internet in the past few years is probably familiar with Fleabag (2016-19).
What makes Fleabag special is that her hyper-s*xuality is something we see quite openly. She is not trying to steer clear of that as many female artists try to do because it might cheapen their work or get them sl*t-shamed. Waller-Bridge’s protagonist “stoops” to that level and lives there. Even the name of the protagonist, which is never revealed, is similar to p*rnography where women are “barely-l*gal teen”, “busty m*lf”, and many other things, but rarely a person with a name.
My latest Substack essay "Fleabag and P*rnography" is published now. Please click on the link to read.
