#su159

White Diamond: You are not half-human; You’re just acting like a child!

Steven: I am a child. What’s your excuse?

I understand that its pace was rushed, that it was intended as a series finale because the team didn’t know if they were going to get the show renewed, and yeah, it was far from flawless. “Practically perfect in every way” was a Mary Poppins reference.

I will admit that I liked it mostly because of how much I liked White Diamond. She was perfection, order, the ultimate role model and the mother of gemkind. All gems served her, and none questioned her, because why would anyone defy perfection? 

There’s been ominous hints of White for a long time, starting with her position at the top of the Diamond insignia. As far back as the Zoo arc, in Yellow’s song, “where’s the Diamond when they need her, Blue? You’ve got to be a leader, Blue”, hell, considering the song itself was called What’s the Use in Feeling, we started to get the impression that the Diamonds we knew weren’t in charge, and the nature of their relationship with their superior. Her absence during The Trial suggested a few things more, an aloofness perhaps, or (as it later turned out) an omniscient disregard for the squabbles of her underlings.

Then, Legs. The first we see of her handiwork is the reception on Homeworld, the one that tells us one thing. She knew. Everything. Pink’s charade may have fooled Blue and Yellow, but White was never taken in even a bit. She knew about Rose Quartz. She knew that Pink would survive the corruption blast. And eventually, one day, she knew the prodigal daughter would return home.

Then, her Pearl. Pink’s Pearl, with the navel gem placement and stylistic similarity to Pink’s dress. Bleached, drained, cracked even, and with Deedee’s voice replaced by a haunting new one. White Diamond’s Pearl speaks, and the other Diamonds cower and obey. She personifies authority. 

We’ve all seen what happens next. Steven, Pink, is nothing to her. She simply does not care. His concerns are first brushed off, then once Blue and Yellow turn, White meets this new threat with violence. Mother knows best. When finally we see her again face to face, she starts The Monologue. Blue and Yellow are weak because of their colors, because they need others to complement them. But White is perfect, flawless, and brilliant, and she needs no one. Least of all her problem daughter Pink. Here she betrays the slightest hint of her downfall, though, by admitting that pink is a side of her that she has to keep repressed.

“It’s a pity the way you bring out the worst in others. See how you’ve encouraged their deficiencies?” White’s speech is brutal and terrifying. “I make things better”, indeed. She is brilliant, she is perfect, she is all-knowing and nearly all-powerful, and there is no gem who could challenge her. And Pink Diamond is just another gem.

“You’re wrong.” And, for once, she was. Pink Diamond could not stand against White, but Pink was no longer here. Steven was, is, and will continue to be Steven; and the gem belonging to Pink Diamond now contains Pink Steven instead. White is spreading herself thin by commanding the forms of Yellow, Blue, and the Crystal Gems, and the appearance of Steven’s gem form rocks her to her core. Diamonds are hard, but brittle and easily fractured, and Steven broke White in a single stroke, and brought her to her knees. 

From the very first episode it’s been interesting that instead of an offensive weapon Steven can summon a shield, but in the end nothing else would do. The shield of Pink Diamond was the only thing preventing White from burying the evidence of her mistake, erasing Gem Steven, and starting over. And the re-fusion of Steven’s separated halves broke White’s spirit to the point that her overpowering radiance slipped to reveal the secret she had been concealing even from herself.

White Diamond was not white. She was imperfect. Flawed. Even worse, rose-hued, almost like her problem child. She had been so bright for so long that it was never apparent, but with her power spread so thinly and her authority so directly challenged, her weakness finally shone through. Pink Diamond could not have done it; only Steven could. 

Remember this? Through Steven, Rose Quartz won her battle. White Diamond was vanquished, not by the sword, but by the shield and by the truth. 

The suddenness of White’s turn into cooperation doesn’t surprise me either. She is rigid and inflexible, and nothing Steven’s done has changed that; she is either fully against him or fully with him, with no half measures. Steven has demonstrated to her that a better way exists, that caring about the underlings has merit, and that her crimes must be atoned for, and so she does. 

There always has to be that first day.

There’s an old, worn-out saying that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, but it’s true--if you want to change something about yourself, if you want to be better or get healthier or accomplish your goals, first you have to start.  Take that first step.  You don’t have to take a big step, just a step--and I know it can be painful, and hard, and it can seem like you’ll never get there from here, and why should you even bother.  But you have to move towards your goal yourself if you want to make it there in the end, and you’ll be surprised at how far a little first step can take you.

So go ahead.  Take that first step.

You’ll find it leads to a second step.

And a third.

And a fourth, and a fifth, and each step will be easier than the last, and pretty soon you’ll be charging forward a hundred miles in, moving forward at a rate you never thought you could manage in a hundred years.  But, first...you have to make that effort.  You.  Not somebody else.  It comes from you.  It can be scary, and it can be hard, but you can do it, if you try.  You can get there.

So pick a day.  That day is your first day.  That day, take that first step.  You don’t have to take a second step that day.  That’s what your second day is for.  You don’t even have to take a bigger step on your second day, or your third day, or your tenth day.  Just keep taking steps.  You can take bigger ones when you think you’re ready, but you don’t need to look that far ahead.  Just look at the metaphorical ground beneath your feet.