Wisdom
Rating: T for Teen
Warnings: there's a penis incident
Summary: Dan gets his wisdom teeth removed and subsequently tells Phil his feelings, Phil doesn't believe him. It's very short for one of my fics.
A/N Special thanks to my very best friend Ben (votrecoude.tumblr.com) for being the most wonderful and prompt editor/psychologist/cheerleader. Thank you to the anon for the prompt! It's a little cliche but these fics are a guilty pleasure of mine so it was really fun to write.
"What do you mean you just never got your wisdom teeth removed?!" Phil ranted as he stirred pasta into a pot. Sauce simmered and a frying pan of ground sausage sizzled. Dan bit his lip, partiality in embarrassment and secretly in enjoyment of scents that permeated the kitchen. Phils spaghetti was always a weakness of Dan's.
"I'm a procrastinator!" Dan whined. "And anyway i've got an appointment now so its fine. I just need someone to pick me up, if you dont want to I can always ask someone else, actually i’ll probably make it back fine on my own."
"Oh no you don't, I'm not having you wander around London on pain meds." Phil went back to stirring the pasta sauce. "So did you want to watch a show with dinner?" Â Dan grinned.
"How about Korra? You haven't seen the finale yet and I need to study it more to critique it properly. Can't find any bad parts." Phil smiled at him as he spooned spaghetti into a shallow bowl.
"Sounds great but hurry up dinners ready."
After they ate they lay on their couch having switched from Korra to a cooking show Dan couldn't remember the name of. They were both tipsy from the wine Phil had paired with the meal and he was scolding the competitors for microscopic mistakes.
"I’m supposed to be the film critic!" Dan laughed "I'm glad you never see me cook"
"You cook fine Dan, I can't help it if I'm gifted." he teased. "Oh speaking of which I was experimenting with chocolate mousse while you were out, would you like any?"
"Phil, you're going to make me fat." Dan whined
"You're going to make yourself fat from not running, how's that resolution going?" Phil shot back.
"Shut up." Dan grinned and Phil rolled his eyes and strolled to the kitchen. Dan sighed quietly as he watched Phils hips sway slightly as he walked. He was lucky to have the man, smart, funny, a fellow youtuber albeit from a different genre, such a caring individual, and lets tell it straight, that ass. Â Â Dan couldn't keep himself from thinking hed be q whole lot luckier if they retired to the same bedroom each night instead of across the hall. They were just two straight dudes sharing a flat, bar Dans dirty little bisexual secret.
The day before his appointment Dan finally uploaded the Legend of Korra critique and filmed a video for his and Phil's shared channel "DanandPhilFOODS where they sampled London's restaurants, Tesco products, or questionable recipes, relating to Phil's food channel, and critiqued them, Dans specialty.
"I love my job." Phil sighed contentedly. Today had been a new Thai takeaway.
"I love your job too" Dan was sprawled out on the couch again in his usual spot.
"Ready for the appointment tomorrow then?" Dan just let out a groan and Phil laughed.
When Dan woke up Phil was looking down at him. "Phil you're up there." Dan stated.
"And you were going to take yourself home." Phil sighed. Glad he had decided to call a cab instead of taking public transport. "Dan." Phil addressed him. Dan’s arm gave out from underneath him and he face planted down onto the hospital bed. "Right. You're laying down you just got out of surgery." Phil explained gently.
"That explains my feet." Dan said slowly.
"Sure Dan." Phil agreed. "Lets just get you signed out."
Once they were in the cab, after a clumsy departure from the hospital, Phil pulled out a small video camera and turned it on Dan who was grinning out of the window.
"Say hi, Dan"
"Hi Dan." came a sleepy reply. Silent stretched on for a moment and then a contemplative look crossed Dans face. "I'm Dan." he said as if he had discovered the meaning of life. "I'm Dan." He grinned widely and looked at Phil. Who was badly covering his giggles and trying not to shake the camera too much. "I am."
"You are." Phil agreed in mock seriousness.
"I am." Dan smiled at the camera. "I love you Phil." Dan stated seriously. And Phil debated future editing. It'd be funny but then again the fangirls would take it the wrong way and then the what-ifs  and desperate thoughts would start pestering him. And it'd just be a mess. "I love you." Dan repeated. "We could be brothers if it weren't for...the thing, you know the thing that thing I don't know." Dan rambled. Ah, no editing then.
"I’d be the older brother so you might hate me." Phil teased. Dan went from happy to devastated in a moment.
"Phil no!" he cried "Phil Philip Philip I could never, I mean I could never!" he shouted the last word and Phil reminded himself to give the cabby a good tip. Dan was still saying never on repeat. "Hate you Philiiip." Dans voice went squeaky and reminded him of Lil from the Rugrats so badly he couldn't stop the laughter this time. "Phil stop it" Dan cried. Tears leaking from his eyes.
"I'm sorry." Phil conceded. Turning off the camera and pulling Dan into a hug.
"You smell like Phil." Dan stated from where he was pressed to Phils chest, Â voice void of sadness.
"Well I imagine so, I am Phil." he chucked
"You are Phil." Dan said his voice going contemplative again. Dan sighed and cuddled into Phils chest. When Phil thought he’d fallen asleep he heard a soft whisper "I'm Dan." and huffed out a laugh.
Back in their flat Phil had parked Dan in front of the television without his phone or laptop. Phil didn't trust Dan with the possibility of reaching the fanbase in this state if he managed to operate it. Phil was doing some editing while listening to Dans endless senseless string of babbling.
"I love you, Phil." Dan was grinning at him from his couch spot. Although he felt a soft ache in his chest and smiled back.
"I know." he turned back to his work.
"Yeah. Youre wickedly sexy." that caught Phils attention and he laughed.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah." Dan said dazedly "I love you and we go out to have dinner sometimes?" Dan asked.
"Yes Dan." Phil pulled up his email remembering he needed to reply to a sponsor.
"Yeah dinner. And then sometimes I just want you to sit on my dick." Phils fingers froze on the keyboard. "Or my face." Dan added as an afterthought.
"Wh-what?" Phil stuttered,
"You wanna see?"
"See what Dan?" Phil asked cautiously. And thats when Dan yanked down his sweatpants. Phil stared in horror his face flushing violently.
"He’s not hard yet." Dan said casually as he started to stroke himself. "But I quite like him." Phil felt himself start to swell in response and he briefly wondered if he was getting dizzy from shock, or blood rushing to too many places at once. "Do you like him?" Dan teased his head and looked innocently up at Phil.''
"Ohmygod" the words rushed out of Phil's mouth as he jumped up. "I think its time for bed. For sleep" Phil corrected and blushed harder.
Once Phil finally got Dan to bed he rushed into the kitchen. Dan had had gone from sexual to apologetic to sad to whispering "Can you tell me a story about little baby llamas Phil?" into the older man's chest. Phil opened a bottle of brandy he has been slowly using in recipes and without hesitation took a chug right from the bottle and then after short deliberation another. He poured himself a glass tumbler and sat at the kitchen table and let a tear slip out of his eye.
When Dan found Phil he was fully dressed at the kitchen table with his head in his arms snoring to wake the dead. He had a half full tumbler of brandy and Dan took a sip, his mouth was aching.
"Phil?" he whispered trying to wake his friend up as gently as possible. "Phil?" he asked a bit louder and finally "Phil!" Phil jumped up with a snork and Dan tried not to laugh.
"Need some aspirin?" Dan asked reaching in the cupboard. Phil groaned in response and Dan shook out two aspirin.
"So why am I finding you asleep at the kitchen table?" Dan sat down across from Phil stealing another sip. Phil glared at him and slid the glass out of his reach. He sigHed.
"I'm going to bed." he mumbled.
it was a few days after the surgery and Dans mouth was finally starting to feel normal, life with Phil however was not.
"Phil." Dan blocked the doorway of the kitchen so he couldn't get out.
"What Dan." Phil looked annoyed.
"Whats wrong ? You haven't been yourself are you mad at me for something?"
"No everything’s fine." Phil shot at Dan.
"No its not." Dan argued. "Tell me what's wrong Phil. You haven’t been right for days. Since I had my...surgery..." Dan trailed off looking alarmed "Phil?" he questioned slowly. "Did I do something that day?" he was beginning to look alarmed and Phil couldn't hide the confirmation on his own face. "Oh my god Phil what did I say? I wasn't in my right mind I'm sure I didn’t mean it, please tell me!"
Dan moved closer to Phil. "Please?" he said softer, I'm sure it wasn't true. Just-"
"Well maybe I wanted it to be!" Phil roared. His eyes widened like a startled animals and he burst for the doorway running pell mell up the stairs. "Phil!" Dan yelled exasperated and ran after his flatmate "Just tell me what happened!" he was sure the neighbors could hear them running and yelling but he didn't care. He launched himself at Phil in the hallway and tackled him to the floor with a thud. Â Phil struggled to be free of his grasp but Dan had the upper hand and soon pinned him to the floor.
"This is ridiculous” Dan panted. "Now tell me what’s wrong Phil, what'd I say?"
Phil sighed in defeat and let his head fall back mumbling. This was about to get awkward.
"You said you loved me." Phil sighed out looking up at the ceiling.
"Well you're my best friend Phil." Dan laughed awkwardly.
"Yeah and then you-you pulled down your pants and started wanking yourself on our couch." Phil could feel himself blushing.
"No!" Dan shrieked jumping off of Phil and tumbling to the floor. "You’re joking!" Dan hid his face in his hands and choked out a laugh. The tension broke and Phil started laughing himself.
"You said some really colorful things Dan, you ought to wash your mouth out." he teased grinning around his tongue.
"I don’t even want to know." Dan flopped out onto the floor and buried his face in his hands before sighing and looking at Phil."So now you know." he sighed.
"I thought you said it was a lie." Phil teased.
"Guess I was wrong." Dan said rolling onto his back. They were side by side staring at the light fixture arms barely touching.
"Guess you were." Phil slid his own shaking hand into Dan’s and interlaced their fingers. Their palms sweaty, blood rushing in their ears, adrenaline pumping they smiled.
