#stroke of fate

I haven't written angst in a while! So writing this made me happy and broke my heart at the same time X3

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No Restart Possible | A Ushijima x Reader Scenario

-> 356 words

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He looked so fragile. You had no idea how such a tall and strong man like him could look so extremely fragile. But all the cables attached to his pale skin did their best, accompanied by rhythmic beeping in the background.

For hours you had been sitting here by his side while you were holding his hand. His right hand. Because the other one was gone.

"We had to amputate it. The injuries were too severe."

The words of the surgeon hadn't stopped echoing in your head every since. You had realized their aftermaths when you got to see your boyfriend of four years; bound to the bed and asleep.

Sometimes you struggled with nearly falling asleep, but the thought of him waking up to see his missing left hand without you being consciously there wouldn't let you rest. Your thumb massaged the soft skin of the back of his hand in circles.

These goddamn people that decided to drive a car without a driver's license and even had to pull dangerous maneuvers. In the end the innocent always had to suffer.

"Don't worry, Toshi. I'm here and I won't leave", you whispered.

Unlike specific other people that had the guts to show up after not being part of his life for nearly a decade. Moreover his grandparents had even dared to say things like We've known that it's a course to use the left hand.

Right. Into. Your. Face.  

They didn't care about him being injured. They didn't care about him having to give up his passion now. They didn't care about the physical and mental pain he will have to go through.

You still wondered how you hadn't exploded verbally on the spot. 

But that didn't matter anymore because he was alive and you were here. Even though he would most likely ask you to restart your life by suggesting to break up to not sacrifice your happiness, once he would be awake.

Nothing on earth would get you to leave. You belonged to him, he belonged to you.

That's what it was and what it will be - In good times and bad times.

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I don’t know how it is you are so familiar to me – or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before – in another time, a different place – some other existence.

It is a tragedy that star-crossed lovers will read

about a hundred years later, and weep over

blood not yet spilt-

because if you two could not make it;

no one will.

Whew. This novel starts really, really, really In Media Res. Right smack dab in the middle of Sean and Jade's relationship. Jade is a newly broken out writer who writes lesbian fiction. She was attacked at one point and so hired Sean as a bodyguard/personal assistant. We step into the story a bit after that has happened. That did make it a little hard to get into-- to get the characters fully in my brain. Once I did though, it was a fun book (well, a super intense fun book). I liked the uniqueness of the characters and the who's doing it part of the story kept me guessing just enough too. There was a little niggling thing that stayed with me though. Jade told Sean about Rachael for the 'first time' not once, but twice, and the second time it pulled me from the story. Overall it was a good and enjoyable read (hmm... maybe there'll be an Anne story at some point too?) I received this book via Netgalley thanks to Bold Strokes Books.

Religion und der Glaube an Gottheiten sind die Feigheit vor Schicksalsschlägen und die Faulheit gegenüber der Erforschung des Unerklärlichen.