Carmilla sits up sharply at her desk, head swimming and thoughts racing from suddenly being jarred awake. The room is dark, and the large windows of her office show the expanse of Pentagram City at night, indicating the late hour. The streetlights, the ones that aren’t busted out, anyway, shine with an eerie orange-red hue that almost exaggerate the shadows around them. One poor soul stands nervously beneath one of them, as if he thinks the illumination will protect him out on the street in this damned city.
As if by thinking it, she’d set what happens next in motion, the leg of the small demon standing under the street light is suddenly yanked by a disembodied claw twice its size. The diminutive creature trips, landing in the dirt and screaming, clawing at the ground fruitlessly as the giant claw that has him quickly drags him into the shadows.
All is quiet again after that. Carmilla feels sorry for the poor creature, but everyone down here knows not to go out at night. And if one absolutely must, they usually know to stick to the shadows, quiet and out of sight. There are things living in those shadows, but it’s much safer than drawing attention to oneself by leaving them.
Carmilla sighs, stretching her back to reignite stiff bones and joints from when she’d been hunched over her desk. She soon realizes what’s awoken her when a small hand lands on her shoulder. An awkward, slight cough breaks the silence of the room, almost meek and timid, when it doesn’t have to be. It’s well past the working hour, and the girl knows she can let the pretense of professionalism go in Carmilla’s presence. She rarely does.
Carmilla smiles to herself, turning her head to look at her eldest daughter with sleepy eyes.
“Mom,” Odette says, shortly, matter-of-fact. “It’s late. I thought I should wake you, so you can go to bed. It’s not good for your back to sleep like that.”
Carmilla chuckles. Leave it to Odette to sweat the small things. Her eldest is such a worry wart, and cares so much about her mother. It’s exceedingly endearing.
“Thank you, mija,” Carmilla replies, standing tall out of her chair, reaching her arms above her head and giving her ligaments a proper stretch this time. “But what are you still doing here?”
Odette flushes, not expecting this question. Glancing over at the clock, Carmilla notices it’s almost midnight.
“I wanted to wait up for you,” Odette admits. “I didn’t want you going home alone.”
Carmilla stands in front of her daughter, noting the absence of her telltale lab coat. She’s left in her black turtleneck and practical work slacks. The least Odette could have done is go home and change out of her work clothes.
“I can always get Zestial to portal me home,” Carmilla replies, running her large claws through Odette’s golden hair, cupping the side of her girl’s face affectionately. Her daughter’s expression remains deadpan, devoid of emotion. Carmilla notices the bags under her eyes. Carmilla wonders if her daughter will ever learn to listen to her own advice, and take care of herself.
“Still…” Odette says, looking up at her. “Everyone else has left. I don’t like you being here alone. What if…?”
Carmilla smirks. “What if, what?”
Odette shakes her head, as if not even wanting to entertain the possibilities. “I just don’t like it.”
Carmilla bends down, running her claws through Odette’s hair again, and kissing the top of her head. She breathes in slowly, taking in the familiar scent of her girl, while Odette just stands there, taking it.
“Mom,” Odette quips, getting a little annoyed.
“Indulge me,” Carmilla answers, pulling Odette into a hug. Odette sighs into her mother’s chest, defeated. She’s never been a strong advocate for overt displays of affection. That’s more Clara’s thing. Even so, she will indulge her mother if she asks kindly. Carmilla squeezes her tightly, exaggerating the motion with a funny little “Mmmm!” sound. Odette groans again into her chest. She may not be an actual baby anymore, but to Carmilla, she will always be her little one.
It always brings her great enjoyment to remind her eldest of that fact. She’s tempted to pick her up and hold her, just to drive the point home. But Carmilla thinks better of it. Odette has been a grown woman for a while now, and continuing to infantilize her only makes her more distant. Even though Carmilla is still so much larger than her children, they are still strong and fierce in their own right. Odette, especially.
It’s so good to see them spread their wings, but it also makes her motherly heart ache.
Carmilla pulls away from her daughter, and Odette straightens her disheveled glasses that had been smushed to her face by Carmilla’s body. Carmilla begins gathering her things, and Odette breaks the silence again, a little more serious this time.
"Also," Odette says, clearing her throat. "Someone left a message on the call screener while you were out of it. It's not a number I recognized, so I let it go to voicemail."
"Thank you, darling," Carmilla replies, sorting through her stack of important papers and pocketing her keys. "I'll check it momentarily."
"Okay," Odette nods, “I’ll wait in the hall.” Turning on her heels, she walks out of the office like Carmilla’s little soldier.
Carmilla realizes she’s going to need to use both hands to get all the papers she needs for these new prototypes home. Rather than burden her daughter again by asking her to carry another mess, Carmilla narrows the stack down to just the most important ones, then turns her attention to the switchboard answering machine.
Flipping over a few screens, she notices she does indeed have a single voicemail waiting for her. Pressing play, she presses the speaker button and settles into her chair, steeling herself for another incessant tirade from the Vees, or another request from Katie Killjoy wanting to know the details of Carmilla’s generous “donation” to the Hazbin Hotel right before the Extermination.
Carmilla hears none of these. In fact, she almost doesn’t recognize the voice she does hear, because it’s been so long since she’s heard it.
“Hello, Carmilla,” the soft, dulcet tone says over the tinny speaker of her office phone. The voice pauses, as if knowing that Carmilla will need a few seconds to compose herself after it dawns on her who is calling. “It’s Sera. I know you’re probably terribly concerned to hear from me again. I assure you, it’s for a good reason. Please sit down before you listen to this.”
Carmilla is already sitting. She’s grateful for that, because otherwise, she may have ended up on the floor. Her claws grip the plush leather on the arms of her office chair; it takes everything in her not to rip right through the fabric. Her teeth clench, biting her tongue so hard, tears start forming in her eyes.
“There’s been a development,” Sera continues. “This may seem inconceivable, but please listen. It appears that the child of the Morningstar was…well, after the Extermination, someone…It appears that Lucifer’s daughter has accomplished something no one thought possible. A soul that perished during the Extermination has somehow manifested here in Heaven. Right now, only you, myself, and another of my…associates are aware of the implications. I’d like to keep it that way.”
Carmilla is beside herself with emotion. She’s doing her best to pay attention to the words, but she’s still so focused on the fact that it’s Sera who’s calling her. The news that one of Charlie’s patrons may have ascended is surprising; but honestly, it would have to be something exceedingly miraculous such as this for Sera to get her involved. In that case, it must be true, at least as far as Sera knows.
“Things are tenuous here in Heaven,” Sera explains, admitting more than she probably should to Carmilla in that moment. That news doesn’t surprise Carmilla. Things have been less than stable in Heaven for much longer than the realm’s leadership cares to acknowledge. “As I’m sure you’re aware by now, Adam is gone. His army is restless. Heaven hasn’t faced this much uncertainty in millennia, and I fear this is only the beginning of more problems for Hell. The elders are worried about an all-out war. This factor of redemption may send everyone over the edge. I need…I can’t go to Lucifer for this. I don’t know where else to turn.”
Sera pauses again, as if the next part is physically painful for her to get out. She sighs, and her voice trembles, with some degree of grieving.
“I could use your council. I am on very thin ice here. Please, I — there’s no one else I trust more, Carmilla. There never was. I’m sorry for everything that’s happened between us, but — can we meet? In person?”
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The girl’s have doubts. About themselves, whether they are deserving of what they have, but the biggest doubt they have is that if their father would be proud of them. They know hardly anything of him, zestial and Lucifer have given small bits and pieces but not enough to truly put down the doubt of whether he would be proud of them.
Carmilla tries to reassure her girls that yes, their papa would be so proud of his girls, and he would loved to see them grow into strong and independent women.
Throughout Clara and Odette's childhood, the topic of their father had been a sore subject for Carmilla. Carno had been killed by Adam in an Extermination when Odette was 4, and Carmilla had never really gotten over her grief. She doesn't like to talk about him at the best of times, and at the worst, she might break down or become angry at the slightest mention of the word "Daddy."
The elder Carmine daughter barely remembers him as it is. Clara knows better than to ask Carmilla, so she tries to ask her older sister about him sometimes, because she was only 2 when he'd passed -- Clara doesn't remember him at all. Odette wishes she could be more helpful, but her memories of him are fuzzy, and contradictory, sometimes. Everything is piecemeal.
Odette can recall that sometimes he was angry, and the entire house would shake from his outbursts. Other times, he was warm and comforting, and Odette would feel protected in his arms...or snuggled into his fur...depending on what form he chose to take. That would change by the day. He could be very large; gigantic, even...or not-so-large, a normal amount of a man. The main thing was, Odette had never felt in danger from him. Even when he was more a monster than a person, he was still always just Daddy.
She wishes she could remember his face. His real face, not the twisted, changing visage that he'd have to wrangle under control all the time. After 5 minutes with Odette, he'd be more composed, or almost calm. Odette remembers that about him, at least. Stories from Zestial and Lucifer indicate that he'd been violent. He'd never been that way with her or Clara. Or Carmilla, that she could remember. She'd always seen the best side of him, no matter what other people's stories might insist otherwise.
One day, Odette finds his portrait in the attic; she hadn't been looking for it, just stumbled upon it after looking for family photos that Sera had wanted to see. She shows it to Clara, who stupidly goes to Carmilla with more questions. Initially, Carmilla is angry. But Clara is done with all the mysteries, she says. Odette hasn't seen her this furious in a long time
"It's not fair!" Clara screams. "Odette has memories, and I only have stories! He was my dad, too! There's a hole in my heart -- a hole that wants to be filled! I just want to know if he'd be proud of me!"
That catches Carmilla off guard. She looks like she wants to protest again, or scream into the void, but rather than lash out, the matriarch almost immediately deflates. She has no fight left in her at this point. The secrets she's hidden all these years have been exposed, clawed nasty and raw by grief, heartache, and the passage of time. She breathes shallowly for several seconds, trying to think of what to say.
Eventually, she can do nothing except sob, pulling her girls into her chest, holding them close. She keeps them there, for several seconds, before pulling back that curtain, once and for all.
"He loved you girls so much," Carmilla sobs, holding their faces into her chest. "Every day he'd tell me what strong, perfect little angels you were. He wanted to watch you grow into the young women you've become. He'd be so proud of you."
Pulling away, she looks them in the eye, tears streaming down her cheeks. "But he gave his life for you, for me...so you'd have that chance. That's why I ask so much of you -- I'm sorry if you feel like I've been keeping him all to myself, or asking you to be too brave. That was my job, my burden to carry, not yours. It just...hurts. Without him, I had to be strong enough for the both of us. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Why are you even asking that, Mom?" Clara sobs, burying her face back into Carmilla's shirt. "There’s nothing to forgive."
"Thank you," Odette pipes up, in agreement with her sister. "He's more than just a memory, Mom. I know you were just trying to protect us. But that's not your burden to carry alone, anymore."
The Carmine women continue embracing for several moments, wrapped up in so much love, remembering a man who gave his life for them, so they can be together. When the rest of Hell only tries to convince them that he'd been a monster, they know better. Even if they're the only ones who believe it, who remember the truth, they know, and that's enough.
I decided to stick with Carno Carmine, to be consistent with the alliteration in Carmilla’s name, and because it sounds rad.
I’ve found a way to distinguish the asks of Clara/ Velvette without them ret-conning Clara/kiki.
In my opinion all the asks that deal with Clara/velvette take place in the past throughout velvette and Clara’s various breakups, however all of the asks with Clara/kiki take place in the present.
It’s easier so that the relationships don’t get ret-conned because Clara/Velvette’s relationship really helps Clara open her eyes to see that not all relationships are going to work and not all relationships are going to be easy work. And it also helps Clara grow as a person and realize that her feelings towards Velvette are ones of fear and resentment but she doesn’t want to let Velvette go because in Clara’s mind, Velvette is her first serious relationship so she’s afraid to let it go.
Kiki/clara’s relationship is based off of feelings of mutual respect and love for each other. There’s hardly any yelling or arguing because they work together in order to conquer the problem that is bothering them instead of fighting. It’s not Clara v.s Velvette and the rest of hell, it’s Clara and Kiki v.s what stands in their way.
Just because they’re fictional doesn’t mean we can’t add that growth and development as a character and in relationships. And toxic relationships no matter how people disagree are a huge point in development in a character’s growth in their mind and as a person. Because it affects the way they act around people and how they do things.
Speedy for rambling I wanted to get this off of my mind lmao
Bumping up this ask because it’s relevant.
No, this is all very insightful! You’re basically on the same page as me, anon. I am just kind of flying by the seat of my pants with the Clara relationship stuff. I’ve just been leaving it up to you guys to float ideas and then trying to incorporate that into a narrative. I had no idea how it would go. Kiki came out of left field and kind of put the impetus on Velvette to start to give a damn. But it’s been a fun challenge to balance out the Velvette favorable asks with the ones supporting Kiki.
You are so right about different types of relationships contributing to a character's growth, and how learning from toxic ones can lead to healthier ones down the road. I think that's the fun part about character analysis through shipping; everyone has different ideas, and you throw them together, and it plays out like a TV drama of sorts, haha! I don't think that's a bad thing, either!
I think your analysis is pretty accurate. Not every relationship in media is a healthy one, and often characters can have very complicated, complex relationships and that evolves over the course of the work. Especially by nature of these people being in Hell, it makes sense that not everything is sunshine and rainbows all the time.
This is kind of how I've mapped out the quote-unquote "canon" events around Clara in my head thus far:
Velvette is Clara's first real relationship. Velvette initially pursued her because she thought she'd be an easy route to Carmilla. She never really took the relationship seriously, treated Clara like another one of her assets, and just generally left Clara feeling confused with very off again/on again feelings. It's up for debate whether they were ever exclusive, since Velvette is also involved with Vox and Valentino to some extent.
Clara meets Kiki when Odette starts seeing Verosika. During a lull in Clara's relationship with Velvette, she and Kiki hit it off and start seeing each other. Again, not sure if they're exclusive at this point.
Velvette sees Clara with a new beau and starts making moves. She's determined to weasel her way back into Clara's life, and makes several poor, underhanded attempts, and blows up about it each time when it doesn't work.
Kiki defends Clara a lot in the beginning. As a Hellborn, she's not afraid of a Sinner, especially not Velvette. At some point, Clara gets brave enough to confront Velvette herself on her BS, and she has to do this a few times before Velvette gets the picture that it's over between them.
Velvette starts to catch real feelings. She doesn't realize what a good thing she had in Clara until it's gone. This leads to a lot of explosive, childish behavior from her. Whether or not she's willing to pursue Clara in a more genuine way, or whether it's truly over, is up for debate.
I have no real vision for what is, and isn't, endgame for these three, or if there even is one. Maybe Velvette or Kiki will reign supreme. Maybe both of them. Giving Velvette the boot? Eventual polycule? IDK! I'm just rolling with the punches!
Silly little idea, so we know he Lucifer can bring things to life (I.e Razzle and Dazzle), so what if he could resurrect things/people as well? So he can bring back dazzle for Charlie, but yet he knows he can bring back Carno but he’s afraid to. He’s afraid because he knows it will bring back over 300 years of grief and sorrow from Carmilla, so he’s hesitant for that reason yet he knows carno dearly misses Carmilla and the girls.
(Hc: after a sinner or angel dies, they go to limbo where they sorta just exist and chill. They are free to interact with each other, and due to exterminations, limbo has full fledged communities, governments etc.)
I've honestly thought about limbo in the context of Hazbin before. Someone brought up the concept of redeeming the girls' father, but in my head, his one noble sacrifice to save his kids didn't fit well enough with me to make him immediately worthy of redemption. Conceptually, he's an objectively bad person with a checkered past, like all the other overlords. He's done a lot of horrible shit, and in his mind, Carmilla/Odette/Clara are the only things he didn't fuck up during his afterlife.
However, limbo introduces an interesting problem. Maybe his sacrifice was enough to wipe his slate neutral, so when Adam kills him, he manifests one stage below Heaven: in limbo. But also, maybe in limbo, no one has any memories of their former lives/afterlives. That cognition returns when they reach their final destination, once Heaven or Hell determines where their souls belong.
Souls who end up staying in limbo long-term are those that don't have enough good or bad on their plate to go to either place. They have to start fresh with a new slate, and work their way either up or down, depending on their actions in this between-state. They literally live in the moral gray area. Carno wouldn't remember he has a family to return to until he moved into the next phase. Which sucks, because if he ends up in Heaven, he's separated from them forever.
This also kind of bugs me, though, because Seramilla is end game. For better or worse, I don't see Carmilla getting back with him, even if he goes back to Hell. It would be hard for me to write Carno into a story other than for drama/plot-driving purposes. But he could feasibly still be "alive" in limbo and exit at some point, and the Carmine family would have to come to terms with that.
Also I was thinking, If Lucifer can bring him back, he may not need redemption/another fall at all. Like you said, I'm not sure if Lucifer would do that, and I'm also not sure how Carmilla and the girls would even begin to deal with it. But it’s a thought.
The Ranch has always been a place for stories to flow freely, for guests to open up to each other about where they are in their lives, what they’re seeking and how they’ve found healing and growth. It’s a place to meet yourself right where you are and recognize that even if you think you’re lost, your lived experience always provides answers for how to move forward. This year, the ‘Mousehole’ room has been converted to a cozy storytelling corner, where @andy.vand — host of The Dandelion Effect Podcast — records interviews with special guests to share with our community. She is also offering private ‘Storymapping’ sessions in this space, a process that stemmed from the profound experiences podcast guests were having when given the opportunity to tell their life stories then hear it played back in their own voices. Sharing stories is a potent form of healing, a treasure of communication, and a gateway to a deeper understanding our ourselves and the world. Stay tuned for more thoughtful and heartfelt conversations coming up this summer on the podcast, and consider stopping in to this beautiful nook for a Storymapping session during your retreat! #storiesuntold #storyshare #lifestory #storymapping #podcast #dandelioneffect #featheredpiperanch #summerretreat #lakeview https://www.instagram.com/p/CQbddxOjWJJ/?utm_medium=tumblr
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User Stories + Story Mapping We aim to build bridges and capture the various Agile communities across the globe in a huge Community lead event for the Month of February 2021 to coincide with 20 years https://agile20reflect.org/event/user-stories-story-mapping/?utm_source=tumblr&utm_medium=Agile20Reflect+Festival&utm_campaign=Agile20Reflect+Festival
User Stories + Story Mapping We aim to build bridges and capture the various Agile communities across the globe in a huge Community lead event for the Month of February 2021 to coincide with 20 years https://agile20reflect.org/event/user-stories-story-mapping/?utm_source=tumblr&utm_medium=Agile20Reflect+Festival&utm_campaign=Agile20Reflect+Festival
#storymapping .... taking the critiques and adjusting the story to plot out where this story goes. I'm still here #booktribe . I've been putting this story through the paces and really digging down deep. Analyzing myself through a more critical lense and really demanding the best of myself. #storytelling has changed so much since I was in the game last, it's been one continuous #learningcurve to try and tell this story in the most immersive way possible. I really want you the #booklover to feel this story, I want it to pull you in and envelop you. To do that, I'm oiling the rust and swiping the cobwebs off the thesaurus that once upon a time, used to live inside the soft tissue of my brain. I guess knowing the complete index of the different versions of "baby shark" wont quite write a book... 🤷♀️ who knew? 😂 Xoxo #booknerd https://www.instagram.com/p/B4ksJV5DvJf/?igshid=19vwfxxfxv96r
