#stop looking back

Whenever something tragic happens, I see a preponderance of “When I was young...”, “When I was growing up...” posts and it finally hit me today... They might as well say, “When the world was new...” because anyone 40 and older comparing today to 30 years ago is just going to be comparing apples and oranges. 

For nostalgia’s sake, it’s nice to see the “When I was young, we stayed out until dark and drank from the garden hose. We came in when the street lights came on...” posts. Yeah, that’s what it was like in 1980. 

All the circumstances that allowed us to live that life in the ‘80s have changed. No one in their right mind would allow their children to play outside out of the yard or out of visual range today. Why? Oh, murderers, rapists, child abductors, speeding cars, distracted drivers. No parent would calmly accept that their teenager and her cousin rode their bikes 12 miles roundtrip on streets without sidewalks to visit their grandparents without telling anyone. No one even allows children under 13 to walk to a bus stop alone anymore (or sometimes to walk at all – there are always cars converged around the entrance of my community in mornings and afternoons). 

Video games were just coming out. Cable TV was still a novelty in our area and not everyone had it. There were no cell phones or even cordless phones. VCRs and microwave ovens were just beginning to hit mainstream, and the prices were just starting to not be astronomical. If I wanted to talk on the phone, the phone was in the kitchen, in a public area, and if my parents needed it, I better hang up. 

The main form of social pressure was from kids at school. Today’s kids have social media, are plugged in all the time, have information a few keystrokes away, fill their free-time with screens and screens and screens.  The conveniences that their parents feel were “hard won” and that they couldn’t do without any longer are the basics of their children’s lives. To compare my upbringing to the upbringing of a teenager of today’s world is unfair to today’s children.

Yes, teach respect. Exemplify a good work ethic. Show fiscal and personal responsibility. Embrace technology, but don’t let it replace human interaction. Just don’t expect today’s children to behave the way children did 20, 30 or 40 years ago. The world is not the same. The world is smaller. 

And don’t forget, today’s children are a product of their parents and grandparents. A disrespectful child is taught by distracted parents who were brought there by indulgent grandparents. This may be the true meaning of trickle down.