Chapters: 8/20
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America - All Media Types
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Vasily Karpov, Peggy Carter/Gabe Jones, James "Bucky" Barnes & Howling Commandos Members
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Timothy "Dum Dum" Dugan, Gabe Jones, Jim Morita, James Montgomery Falsworth, Jacques Dernier, Peggy Carter, Howard Stark, Arnim Zola, Vasily Karpov, Steve Rogers, Rebecca Barnes Proctor, Angie Martinelli, Chester Phillips, Winifred Barnes, Dottie Underwood, Johann Fennhoff
Additional Tags: Howling Commandos Family (Marvel), Protective Howling Commandos (Marvel), Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Human Experimentation, Prisoner of War, Torture, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Inappropriate Humor, Everyone Is Unhinged, Body Horror, Panic Attacks, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, Winter Soldier Handler Vasily Karpov, Not Agent Carter (TV) Compliant, Cold War, Red Room (Marvel), Red Room
Series: Part 12 of The Man on the Bridge
Summary:
The Howling Commandos can reluctantly, spitefully, and maliciously comply with most of SHIELD’s more questionable decisions, but the sudden appearance of Vasily Karpov on the scene lights a fire of vengeance that puts them on a collision course with the newly commissioned Winter Soldier.
Canon Divergence AU Set post-WWII.
Dugan makes it as far as the guest bathroom before his control slips. He grips the edge of the sink, knuckles white, shoulders heaving with the effort of containing the sob that wants to tear its way out of his chest.
Damn Stark and his maps. Damn Zola and Karpov and everything that took Steve and left Bucky broken beyond recognition. And damn himself most of all for failing both of them when it mattered most.
The face in the mirror is a stranger's: haggard, hollow-eyed, beard growing in patchy around his usually meticulous mustache. Three days of minimal sleep and maximum stress have taken their toll. Morita was right; he needs a break before he collapses.
But the thought of leaving Bucky, even for a couple of hours, sends something like panic clawing up his throat. What if something happens? What if Bucky needs him? What if he finally speaks again and Dugan isn't there to hear it?
"Get a grip," he mutters to his reflection.
The words sound hollow even to his own ears. Because the truth is, Bucky is alone, trapped in whatever hell Zola and Karpov constructed for him, surrounded by the fragments of his former life but unable to reach them.
And there isn't a damn thing Dugan can do about it except sit there and watch, offering a steadiness he increasingly doesn't feel, a hope he can't fully embrace.
