#sterzik

Sterzik und Hänno co-ops be like:

Another shot at the 'try something different than usual' thing when stuck in an art block: real people.

Pure perfection.

It's in german though, before you ask 🙈

Best parts imo:

Jeremy: *explains the mission, being the team leader*

Trager: *super loud through the earphones* "SiR, dO wE hAvE iNfOrMaTiOn On ThE eNeMiEs PoSiTiOn?"

Blaire: *wincing* "Dude! Hang on... That was hella loud..."

Trager: "...SoRrY! "

Blaire: "So we'll be heading to the left-"

Waylon: "I didn't get that, Sir Leutnant?!"

Blaire: "LEEEEEFT!!"

Trager: "Permission to take a short brake?!"

Blaire: "A brake?! A Murkoff soldier doesn't do brakes! You think we're picking pretty flowers here, or what?!"

Trager: *berely supressing his laughter* "You're right Sir! I'm dirt! Lower than dirt!"

Blaire: "No man, no! You're a good soldier! ...But breaks are a no-no."

Blaire: "Enemy fire! Get down!"

Waylon: "It's muddy here, commander, it's muddy!"

Trager: "Pull yourself together, soldier!" *slaps the back of his head*

Blaire: "After me, guys, we'll go into that trench for now! Trager, status report!"

*gets shot and acts it out with a dramatic, gurgling scream*

Trager: "No enemies in sight, sorry!"

Blaire: *continues to yell dying sounds into the mic*

Waylon, the medic: "Leutnant!! Stay calm, stay calm!!"

Blaire: "PAAAAAAAAAAAARRRK!!!"

Waylon: "I'll patch you up!!"

Blaire: "COVER FIRE, COVER FIRE!!! "

Waylon: "Here, take a Tylenol! I can help you, just stay still!" *blocks the doorway stuck in the healing animation*

Blaire: "GLUSKIN, GET YOURSELF TO SAFETY, WE HAVE TO MOVE INSIDE; PARK, MOVE INSIDE!!!

Waylon: *still stuck in the animation*

Blaire: "IIIINSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!!!"

Waylon: *finally moves to let the others in*

Blaire: "YOU FUCKING! DUMBASS!!!"

Waylon: "...I just wanted to help you!"

Trager: "Cadet Park, what's the matter with you?!"

Blaire: "Alright, Trager, place a proximity mine at the door!"

Trager: "What?!"

Blaire: "MIIIIIIINEEE!!! AT THE DOOOOOOOR!!!

Trager: "I have no mines!"

Blaire: "AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!" *machineguns the others avatar down in a fit of rage*

-skip-

Blaire: *calmly* "...One Tylenol for Rick, please."

Gluskin: *gets shot* Uuurgh!

Blaire: "Get him up again! Park, go get Gluskin back up!"

Waylon: *his avatar crouches over Eddies in the animation* "So... One nutella bread... One jar of marmelade..."

Blaire: "Your ass is sitting on Gluskins face!"

Eddie: *is abruptly back up, which makes his avatar glitch out beneath Waylons, crawling on its stomach*

Blaire: "...Holy shit."

Blaire: "Alright, we'll stalk further forward and we will flank them! Move! Trager, Gluskin, around that shack from the left!"

*gets shot* "...Gaaaah!! Trager!!!"

Trager: "I'm not the medic! I'm not the medic!!"

Blaire: "MY ASS!! "

Trager: "PARK, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!"

Blaire: "...Better stay down, Rick!"

Trager: *promptly gets shot*

Blaire: *chuckles lightly* "...Park! Park, stay down!"

Waylon: "I'm coming, Sir!"

(In the ruin of a house)

Blaire: "We will fucking hold this spot! Return fire now!"

Waylon: "I got the MP!"

Blaire: "Great! Put the MP at the window! I'll mark the target! Now! ....GIVE 'EM HELL, PARK!!"

Waylon: *fires for a few seconds, then gets a headshot*

Blaire: *starts laughing almost hysterically and shrilly at the sight* "...MEDIC!! Rick! Go become a medic!" *shoots Trager* "Now, return fire, guys, I want to hear something!"

Trager: *kneeling next to Waylon to heal him* "Alright-y... One Tylenol in your face."

Blaire: *sees a big projectile hit the wall next to him in a fireball* "WOAH! Holy fucking-! "

Eddie: "That's a tank, guys!"

Blair: "...It was somehow getting so warm at my ass just now!"

Waylon: "I need cover fire!" *sees Blaire get shot this time and laughs manically*

Trager: "I gotchu! One Tylenol- into your veins!"

Blaire: "Thanks."

Trager: *gets shot out of the blue*

Eddie: "...Someone's crawling around here!"

Trager: *lying on the floor* "Eeuuurgh... I'm bleeding out! Guuuuh!"

Blaire: *cackles* "Rick's down! ...I'll release you!" *shoots him*

Trager: "Oh look-y here, I'm back again!"

*artillery makes everyone exept Blaire explode*

Blaire: *a short moment of surprise, then he cackles uncontrollably and shrilly*

*the second projectile is his own avatars death*

😂 And other adventures

(Part 2: https://erdediekatze.tumblr.com/post/636243234453176320/you-cant-be-fucking-seri)

https://youtu.be/jqmm1xG2HcM

Hell Let Loose Outlast Edition Part 2

(Part 1: https://erdediekatze.tumblr.com/post/635912372919336960/that-moment-when-you-watch-one-of-your-favourite)

Blaire: "Aight, hold position! ...Here they come again!"

*artillery fire killing the rest of the team for the second time*

Blaire: *doubles over, bursting out laughing shrilly and hitting the table with his fist*

"...I'll hold the position, I'll hold the position!"

*seconds later artillery fire basically makes his avatar explode in a gory cloud*

Trager: "JESUS TITS SUCKING CHRIST!"

Blaire: "...I only see this foot flying..." *chuckles*

Blaire: "There's a tank, over there in the mist! Put up the ATG! Put it up, quick!

Waylon: "Yes... But-"

Blaire: "Put the thing up!"

Waylon: "...I- I can't! It's-"

Blaire: "Then open field! Open field, go! Further forwards, go! It's smoked, all's safe."

Waylon: *moves out and gets a headshot seconds later*

Blaire: *bursts out laughing*

Trager: "So... My buddy Waylon Park, just a moment..." *aims with a smoke grenade, then throws it at the head of some random soldier who stands in the way* "Whoops- Right at his noggin!"

Blaire: "Hang on, Park, we're with you in a moment! ...And then you'll put the ATG up right away!"

Waylon: "I haven't- I got... I can't!"

Blaire: "Provisions! Uh- Eddie! Ah no, damn it. Well then I'll spawn as the provisions guy! ...Rick, shoot me!"

Trager: "Ya sure?"

Blaire: "Yes, do it!"

Waylon: *now healed, comes running up from behind and shoots Blaire*

Trager: "Thanks, Park!" *looks closer at Jeremys dead avatar doing half a T-pose* "...He's dabbing!"

Blaire: "Right! GLUSKIN, PARK, MAN THE ATG! I marked the spot! AND- FIRE!!"

*ATG fires*

Blaire: "...a little ways over it, that was too high!" *marks the new spot*

Waylon: "Fire in the hole!"

*ATG fires*

Blaire: "...A HIT! AGAIN! FIRE!!"

*ATG fires*

Blaire: "Again!"

Waylon: "Behind the tank, there's people behind it!"

Blaire: "Yeah yeah, I got it!" *shoots at them*

*a plane passes over them with a roar*

Blaire: "Uh-oh. Keep firing! *shoots at the tank* ...Sweet! I think its scrap! More to the left! Aim at the people to the left there! *marks the spot*

Waylon: "It's gone!"

*another plane passes*

Blaire: Oh dear... ARTILLERY FIRE! ...Can we move that thing?!"

Waylon: *running to the ATG* "I could dismantle it!"

Blaire: "Then build the same thing again, the same thing on the field, Trager, do a smoke!"

Trager: "Where to?!"

Blaire: "THE FIE-" *is hit and killed by the artillery* "Uuurgggh! ...Hehehe..."

Blaire: *is back in the game since a few seconds*

"...Gluskin, put the garrison up!"

*gets blown up again*

"...YOU CAN'T BE FUCKING SERI-"

Trager: *snorts with laughter* "...You win some, you loose some, Jer!"

Waylon: *chuckling* "...You only hear Blaire cursing up a storm in the background..."

Blaire: "So boys and girls, we're back again! Up and at 'em!"

Waylon: "There is a marker for infantry!"

Blaire: "Then we will put up the ATG here and shoot at the symbol! Rick, throw a smoke next to that tank! ...Now, Mister Gluskin, where that smoke is, build the ATG there now!"

Eddie: "Alright. Cover me!" *runs into the smoke cloud*

Blaire: "Will do. Pump a few rounds into the mist, guys! Right in!"

Eddie: "But don't hit me!"

Blaire: "We wont! ...Gluskin, squat down, would you, you monkey brood!"

Waylon: "Reload!"

Blaire: "Reloading!!" *changes the mag*

Waylon: "One after the other; who's shooting first?"

Trager: *fires a shot*

Waylon: "...Trager shoots first!"

Blaire: *pauses suddenly and listens*

"...He's singing."

Eddie: *merrily building the ATG* "I want a girl... just...like the girl... that married... dear ol' dad..."

Blaire: "Whatever, Waylon, go and help him!"

Waylon: "Yes, Sir! On my way!"

Blaire: "Aim! ...Trager, move out! So, I'll go see where they are!" *runs to the ATG*

"Right, guys. They're- We'll just shoot into the house!" *marks the spot* "Heat up the parlor a little, go!"

*ATG fires*

Blaire: "...That's what I'm talking about, reload!"

Waylon: "Reloaded!"

*ATG fires*

Blaire: "And now... A little more to the right over there!" *marks the spot*

Waylon: "Reloaded!"

Blaire: "Rick, move out! To over there!"

Trager: "Understood!"

Blaire: "Move it, move it, move it!"

Eddie: "Fire!"

Blaire: "Alright, hold the position, I'll radio you where you'll have to shoot!" *moves across the open field after Trager*

"Boy oh boy... The things going on around here... It's war..."

*artillery fire rages all around, a plane passes overhead*

Trager: *gets mowed down* "WUAAAaaagh-"

Blaire: "Shoot there!" *marks a spot behind Trager, then gets killed as well*

"...Shit. Alright, we got four tanks and they've done jack! That's going to change!"

Blaire: *runs up to one tank across the field*

"So! You there in the W.A.L.R.I.D.E.R.! 'Upshur'! Move forward, cover us, we're right behind you! DRIVE!"

*the tank swerves to the left*

Blaire: "No, not that way, in the direction of the city! ...Yes, go slower! ...Nice! Now, everyone, follow him!! We'll storm the hut!! GLUSKIN, MOVE OUT, INTO THE HOUSE, GO, GO!"

*the tank fires*

Blaire: "Heeuuuuurgh! ...Did Upshur just kill us all?!"

Waylon: "...Yo."

Trager: "Positive."

Blaire: "The W.A.L.R.I.D.E.R. shot against the house and killed us all." *chuckles*

Eddie: "...But he did just write 'Sorry'."

(And another, seperate one: https://erdediekatze.tumblr.com/post/637677743976366080/just-checking-did-yall-not-come-across-this-yet)