As a woman, I have so much empathy for my mother, but as a daughter, I have so much anger.
Oh my god this

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@erdediekatze
As a woman, I have so much empathy for my mother, but as a daughter, I have so much anger.
Oh my god this

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and for the lady, perhaps mental stability a loving family and a strong emotional support system?
The fed up urge to just stop talking at all. Like if I can’t be understood no matter how hard I try I might aswell not communicate at all. Not like it makes much difference
There is a very specific kind of sadness in realizing your parents loved you, and still did not always know how to meet your emotional needs.
Because it is confusing. It would almost feel easier if there was no love there at all. But sometimes there was love. In the way they tried to protect you. In the sacrifices they made. In the ways they worried about you, cared for you, wanted a good life for you.
And at the same time, there were still things missing.
Maybe comfort did not come in the way you needed it to. Maybe your feelings were not always understood, or noticed, or handled gently. Maybe you learned to keep certain parts of yourself quiet because it felt easier than trying to explain them.
That kind of hurt is difficult because it does not always come from cruelty. Sometimes it comes from people who loved you deeply, but did not know how to emotionally connect in the ways you needed. People carrying their own wounds, limitations, fears, or ways of surviving.
And you are allowed to acknowledge both truths at once.
You are allowed to recognize their love and still grieve what you needed but did not receive. Those things do not cancel each other out.
Forgiveness, for a lot of people, is not pretending nothing hurt you. It is slowly accepting that someone can love you and still fall short of understanding you completely.
That does not make your pain dramatic. It does not make them monsters either. Sometimes it just means everyone was trying with the emotional tools they had, and some of those tools were not enough.
And I think many people quietly carry guilt for still feeling hurt by parents they know tried their best. But being loved imperfectly can still leave wounds. It makes sense that it affected you.
At the same time, you do not have to stay trapped only in anger forever either. Sometimes healing looks like understanding that your parents were human before they were parents. People shaped by their own experiences, their own upbringing, their own emotional gaps.
That understanding does not erase your feelings. It just softens the sharp edges around them a little.
You deserved emotional safety. You deserved gentleness. You deserved to feel understood, comforted, and emotionally close to the people raising you.
And if they could not fully give that to you, it is okay to mourn it.
But I hope you also know this: the love you needed is still something you can experience in your life. Through other people. Through chosen family. Through the way you learn to treat yourself now.
The story does not end at what you did or did not receive growing up.
You are still allowed softness after all of it 🤍

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God will really look at eldest daughters and think. Hmm. Your mother is going to be the cruellest woman you will ever have the misfortune of meeting. She will also be emotionally manipulative and so so hard to love. Unfortunately you will love her anyway because you see in her all that you could be one day. You will peek into her past and see the same weapons on her that she hurt you with. You will want to run away from her every day. You will not survive a day without her. You will want to kill her sometimes. The mere thought of her dying will make it impossible for you to breathe. You will savour the way her mean words dig their fingers into the warm crevices of your heart because you're so so scared of the day she calls you down for dinner one last time. You will love her more than any man and she would leave you like she leaves them. This is your fate. It will kill you one day. You will never have it any other way. Accept your fate. Don't resist. Don't refuse. Don't argue. Calm down. Be a lady. Come down, dinner's ready.
The issues are issuing, and I just want to be hugged and cuddled right now.
"Your mom does love you… She just doesn’t know how to handle stress, and maybe she feels comfortable enough with you that she uses you as a place to dump all that stress."
Replace “your mom” with “my partner” and everyone would scream at me to cut off that relationship immediately.
THIS!!!!!!!
I wish I had a soft spoken mother or one that talks in a normal tone
mine always talks loud af and always sounds angry even if she is just talking normally
it is so exhausting
I just want comfort and not a constantly screaming voice in my head
every now and then I catch myself acting like her and I hate it
I don't wanna be a constantly angry person
I want to be someone who gives peace and comfort to my friends and loved ones
Apparently "walking on eggshells" around abusive parents doesn't just apply to parents who will yell and throw dishes when they're upset. Apparently it also applies to emotionally neglectful parents who will breakdown the moment you tell them how their behavior hurt you, and how you avoid sharing your own pain to spare them the emotional burden of acting like a parent. Who knew haha

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Some very eloquent notes on violence as a necessity for resistance.
There is no paradox of tolerance, because tolerance is not a matter of ethics. It's a peace treaty - an agreement that only covers the people who abide by its rules.
The title of this essay should disturb you. We have been brought up to believe that tolerating other people is one of the things you do if…
And for cis white guys who are always trying to figure out how to be an ally without talking over marginalized people, without reshaping the issue to be all about you - this guy shows how.
His tactics don't work for marginalized people. They can't get away with that.
Hallo ihr, ich weiß ich hab jetzt nicht so viele deutsche follower aber ich dachte ich versuchs trotzdem. Das ist ne petition fürs Behindertengleichstellungsgesetz.
Man versucht damit Barrierefreiheit als Pflicht durchsetzen (crazy das es nicht schon jetzt Standard ist)
Wäre nice wenn ihrs unterschrieben könntet (oder mindestens teilen?) x)
Jetzt innn.it-Petition unterschreiben & René Schaar & Sabrina Lorenz unterstützen!
!!!SIGNAL BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST!!!
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Kannst du das sehen, Deutsche Bahn?
Gott nimm meine Periodenkrämpfe und gib sie Friedrich Merz
schwöre die Aktivität an diesem Post ist wie so ein Merz-Bullshit-Seismograph. Immer wenn der wieder Notes bekommt weiß ich dass er was Dummes von sich gegeben hat
Was haben ein Auto und eine Taube gemeinsam? Gurt. Was macht ein Italiener auf einem Spielplatz? Ciao-keln. Wenn ich eine Taube hätte, würde ich sie Almi nennen. Warum? Weil Almi gurrt.

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tumblr waiting for news on mitch mcconnell (image source)
#for real#hey trump you hate mitch right?#you want to upstage him#why don't YOU die first#and then you can get the best crab rave#bigly. huge. many such cases.#i'm just saying (@qqueenofhades)