#steph young

Panic in the Woods with Steph Young - January 14, 2017

Published on 15 Jan 2017

Steph Young and Steve Stockton on Haunted Woods, Missing People and more Oct 20, 2016

Published on 20 Oct 2016

Blurb No Plus One is the ultimate manual for living an amazing single life. Its stories teach nine critical lessons that cover the most pressing issues single women face: taking risks, getting over an ex, dealing with bad dating advice and keeping your standards high, among others. This is a book for single women who want to live a great life without the anxiety of finding or keeping a man. No Plus One uncovers the beauty in being single. It holds the key to finding confidence and happiness while learning how to be bold, outgoing and graceful in the process. Review I feel like I should mention before anything else, that I am not single, nor have I been during my adult life. However, that didn't mean I didn't get anything out of this book. Although the lessons are mostly aimed at single women, I'm sure there's something to be learnt from it, no matter what you're going through. Long-term single people, newly single people, long-term relationship people, everyone. And I think that's one of the reasons I enjoyed it so much. It wasn't trying to convince me that single life was better than life in a relationship, and it wasn't trying to convince me that being in a relationship was better than being single. It just teaches lessons on how to be happy, whatever that means for you. And I don't know about you, but that's some pretty powerful advice. No Plus One left me with a fantastic positive buzz that made me want to action the teachings of the book. I loved the little 'Homework' sections after each chapter and summaries to really drive the points home. The book's aim is to help you learn who you are, what your limits are, and make you feel awesome. If that's not amazing, I don't know what is. The only negative I can think of was that I spotted a few typos, and there were a lot of instances where I would've put a comma for clarity. But that might be my picky editor being let loose With the positive attitude, personal anecdotes, and nuggets of advice, this was a very easy book to read. Single or not, I'm sure there's something in it for everyone.

The second short story inspired by my latest EP release, Past Lovers, comes from Steph Young, an accomplished author who's book entitled "No Plus One" is the perfect handbook for learning to love yourself when you're single and dating. Her story, "Volatility & Vulnerability", methodically exposes the desire of wanting to lose all sense of self-control and constraint, ultimately letting go when love treats you wrong for "...while there’s power in poise, there’s infinitely more so in exposure." 

"Volatility & Vulnerability" 

Written by Steph Young 

I can’t even write a piece on vulnerability because even as I sit here typing out the words they seem calculated. Everything perfectly placed so at the end there is a clear path laid out from beginning to end. There’s no vulnerability in that.

But then like lightning, I’m brought back to 3am on a cold and rainy night, the moment I gave myself permission to lose it.

I was parked down the block, waiting. Lights off like a stalker. You had a party and I was determined to be the last one there, because even though I was “your girl” I still felt like at any moment I was going to be made the fool, again. I didn’t even enjoy myself at your party because I was too busy analyzing all your interactions with every other girl. So when it finally ended and you didn’t want me to stay over, I immediately lost my logical, evenly-emotioned self, and even though I left your apartment, I didn’t leave. I gave in. I decided that if I were going to feel like a lunatic,I might as well commit. So I waited outside your apartment, down the block, just out of sight with my lights off. Freezing, I waited patiently to see if any other girl was going to come or go, taking my rightful place in your bed that night. I waited for over an hour. You probably thought nothing of the night, proud of yourself for throwing an epic party and were fast asleep in dreamland, while I was still stewing in my own madness outside your apartment.

The feeling of being this girl, the one I swore I’d never be, was like freedom. It was counter-intuitive to my calculated self. I always wanted to be so in love that when I got enraged I wouldn’t second guess throwing a lamp across a room, daring to destroy everything in its path. Like in the movies after creating a war in a tiny, shared apartment, each of us would sob together, apologize, make promises and as the fractures healed become stronger than ever. But I’d never thrown a lamp across a room. I’d never lost my composure. And while there’s power in poise, there’s infinitely more so in exposure. A crazy liability that can blow at the lightest touch – people are careful around dynamite. They don’t fuck around with it, because they don’t want to get burned. Within the volatility from emotion lies the barest of us – vulnerability that begets an honest look. And even though I was eternally poised, I knew that the only way to a real, deep love was through the most honest and bare exposure.

But I was never that person. When you cheated on me just a month earlier, I never cried in front of you. I remember the night vividly. I was upstairs reading, while you worked quietly into the night below. It was my ideal vision of a relationship – comfortable and together, yet still together. Just before I went to sleep I brushed my teeth, and my instinct told me to look in the trashcan…my first inkling of crazy. There was no logical reason for me to dig around, but I did and I found that condom that wasn’t ours. My heart dropped and in an instance my perfect fantasy was gone. I wanted to scream at you, but instead of unleashing my fury and hurt all over you, I treated you like a teacher treats a kid in detention – calm, cool, borderline aloof.That was my only power play. Never let ‘em see you sweat. I baited the trail to find the answer I already knew. And when you finally told me the truth, rather than smashing everything I could get my hands on, I left quietly.

That was then, and here I was finally feeling like I wanted to own my irrationality, but even as I committed to being the type of girl who waits outside apartments, I did so in the dark. Not a soul to witness my fall from composed grace. A month after our reconciliation and I was in the same place. Alone and crazy. Sitting in my car, furious, but calmly baiting you into the truth, waiting for evidence to use in trial. Even though I had finally allowed myself to lose control while I lurked in the shadows, to this day you’ll never know that you pushed me over the edge. 

It takes a tremendous chemistry and bravery to show somebody the depths. And only now, I know you never deserved to see those tears. You weren’t worthy enough to know that you had the power to drive me to do things I’ve never admitted to even my closest friends. But the next love, guaranteed, will know my fury. And it will be the highest compliment.

Listen to "Past Lovers" EP @ www.vincentis.com/music 

Follow Steph Young on Twitter, Instagram & Tumblr @stephyoungmc (You can also get a copy of her book "No Plus One" on IBooks and Amazon)