when I get so burnt out I just quit masking, the effort to continue walking is one of the first to go. today really brought home the need to be strapped in - even physical arrangements that do not fit me can send me into a ballistic meltdown. I need my chair very badly atp, probably gonna be my main priority behind ofc leaving this place as soon as I can get a good job, and can carry my business onto a chair where I can support myself physically well.
(as an aside, gonna have to inevitably designate sundays as my rest days soon, where no one is to busy me with **anything** on duties, and I can use the whole buffer day to catch up on work and maybe get chores in, instead of wasting my energy. masking is obviously gonna put a mental toll on me, and I don't think it's good for my health to mask all the damn time.)
I just wanna be comfortable with myself, and not put up with bullshit like feeling physically unwell, needing to run around when I don't have the fucking energy to, or focus on my positioning. while constantly being mobile is a redundancy for most (if/when they can afford a good tilt in space chair with enough padding and hopefully prevent pressure sores) I might even risk collapsing to the ground due to all the damn stimuli around me, and harnesses can provide a good form of regulation to guard against meltdowns.
finally, some clarifications on this post (and any further posts that involve harnesses or me being strapped in)
if you need to use mobility aids for whatever purpose, you have your right to have your own feelings and ideas about them!! you can love them, hate them, use them as weaponry against ableists, or in any other way you desire! my beliefs definitely aren't compulsory for everyone - I'm looking for ways to feel comfortable in my own skin really
and of course, being physically disabled is not just another label you can collect!! this desire is (hopefully) not stemming from any physical disabilities of my own, rather just yet another way neurodivergence can manifest. it's fucking beautiful really, if it didn't have to be so difficult to attain.
right that's all from me, stay healthy and remember to hydrate yourselves. love y'all
