A/N: Or the one in which for some reason Larry didn’t come out at the end of the tour and even though they had changed management. For publicity purposes, they still have to wait a few months to come out. So this happens during their break while they are at home (I’m lame, I know, sorry lol)
Read it on AO3
Pairing: Larry
Word count: 1.4k
By Ste
- Hazza, what are you doing? - Louis asked in a husky voice, after some minutes trying to go back to sleep, but unable to because of a constantly moving Harry by his side. Not much could wake up Louis during his sleep, but you could include an impatient Harry to that list.
- Did I wake you? - Harry replied surprised, but in a low tone of voice. He was not expecting Louis to wake up at that time. He tried his best to stay quiet, but apparently, it didn't work.
- No, I'm talking in my sleep, Harold... - Louis said sarcastically. Harry sometimes was too naive for his own good - Yeah, you stirring like a puppy that can't find the best position on its owner's lap woke me up. What's wrong?
- It's... - Harry wondered if he should tell Louis, who apparently was not happy to be disturbed in his sleep - Nothing, go back to sleep - He turned around to face the other side of the room.
Louis let out a sigh, settling himself on the bed to rest his head on the palm of his hand. He hated when Harry acted like he wasn't keen to care about what he had to say - It obviously ain't nothing because you wouldn't be up at this tim... What time is it? It doesn't matter, it's too-fucking-early-in-the-morning anyway. But I can tell something's got into this hairy head of yours...
- It's 5:45 - Harry turned around to face Louis again, answering so automatically without even looking at his phone as if he had been counting the hours in his own head.
- How long have you been up?! - Louis asked startled.
- I don't think I have properly slept ... - Harry was now laying on his back, looking up and resting his own hands over his bare stomach.
- So we can say you've been... Up all night? - Louis lamely joked, poking the side of Harry's arm, where the ship tattoo is.
- For Christ's sake, Louis - Harry laughed, slapping the other's arm too - It's 2016, this joke is as old as my nan.
- I'm sorry - Louis tried to contain his own laughter by covering his mouth - But in all seriousness now, I'm worried. Tell me, what's wrong, Haz? - He recomposed himself, looking at Harry, concerned.
- I... - Harry took a deep breath, trying to collect his own thoughts - I have just been thinking, I don't know... sometimes I keep thinking about, like... How we're gonna do this... - He kept looking up at the white ceiling, as if it had any type of answer to his own reverie.
- Do what, Harry? - Louis was still looking at Harry, not knowing what he was talking about.
The green-eyed took some time to answer back, thinking how to phrase what he wanted to say - Do you ever think about how you want the world to know about us?
The older one laughed through his nose - Is this what you're worried about? You seriously lose sleep over this?
Harry suddenly turned his head to face Louis for a second again. He didn't know if he was actually joking or telling the truth. If he was joking, it only confirmed what kind of an arshole he was. If he was telling the truth, it also confirmed what kind of arshole he was.
- This is stupid, I'm sorry - He said, with a sad frown and turning again to the other side, letting Louis face his bare back - I'm sorry if I woke you and bothered you with this, go back to sleep.
Louis only rolled his eyes. Styles could be such a drama queen for nothing, honestly. And it wasn't even 6 am!
- I don't think this is stupid but I'm too sleepy to talk about it right now - He said yawning, while running his index finger on Harry's spine - But... - He stopped when he reached the very end of Harry's back, touching the fabric of the younger's briefs - As we're both up now, the least I can do is entertain your mind with something else...
- Isn't it too-f-early-in-the morning for this too, Tomlinson? - He asked in a teasing voice and Louis could bet he had a stupid smile on his face. Louis always knew how to win him back.
- It's never early for this, Mr. I-don't-swear and you know it... - Louis laughed, hugging Harry from behind and kissing the nip of his neck.
- I do think about it - Louis suddenly said as he poured the hot tea in his cup.
They were in the kitchen, having breakfast after deciding it wasn't too early anymore to stay in bed. They had just taken a shower and Louis was just wearing sports shorts while Harry was still in his robe, with his hair in a messy bun.
- What? - Harry looked up, a little confused, to face Louis, while eating his granola cereal.
- I do think about it. What you were talking about earlier - Louis repeated in case Harry wasn't sure what he was talking about - About how I want the world to know about us - He took a few steps and sat on the chair beside Harry's by the table - Not that half of it don't already know...
- This is why I keep thinking about it so much, I guess - He said after finishing eating a full spoon of cereal - How to tell people something that they already know but that we had to pretend it was something else? You know how much I hate all this lying and deceit...
- You and me both, but... - Louis took a sip of his tea
- I know… I just wanted it to be, something that showed them that it wasn't our fault...
- They already know that too, Haz. They freaking know everything, those sneaky little bastards - Louis shook his head and took another sip of tea as Harry ate more cereal. They stayed in silence for a few moments until Louis put down his now empty cup and let out a sigh - Sometimes I just think it would be easier just to go outside as two normal people...
- But I don't want it to be something... Scandalous? - Harry watched Louis get up, put his cup on the sink, and walk back to the table, but not to his chair. Louis walked past him, stopping behind him, resting his hands on his shoulders - If we go outside; it will be out on every stupid brainwashing gossip magazine. I don't want that - Harry played with the spoon inside the bowl and the rest of the cereal that was left in there.
- Sticking to the original plan of the press conference is still the most reasonable option we have - Louis said as he massaged Harry.
- But it's too formal - The green-eyed turned his head up to look at Louis - Too manipulated, still. It has to be something that comes from us.
- Yeah, because we have been doing an amazing job with that already - Louis sarcastically laughed - The bears, the songs... We're still trapped in our old management somehow, Harry - He let go of Harry to walk in front of him and sit on his chair again - It's not so simple to be ourselves after making the whole world believe we were something else, even if we have people who are on our side now...
- I hate this - Harry looked down, playing with the rings in his hand - I hate having to hide in our own house to be with you. Not that I don't love to be in incognito mode with you - He looked up to see a grin on Louis's face - but I just hate this whole situation that we are in now. We are free but at the same time, we're not...
- Me too, love - The blue-eyed gave Harry a crooked smile. Neither of them spoke again for a few seconds.
They had been in this situation for far too long and now it was like they could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but still, it was far from their reach.
- But after thinking about it for so long - Louis spoke again, catching Harry's attention - There's one thing that I know how I want it to be... - Louis took Harry's hand over the table.
- What's it? - Harry asked curious, seeing Louis blue eyes lighting up.
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"That's what I'm talking about. We love love here. We just love it (...) Thanks for being with us for your ANNIVERSARY!"
Harry talks to a couple on stage about their wedding anniversary on September 28th.
Louis wishes he had talked about their own wedding anniversary instead.
A/N: I wrote this right after their concert on September 28th and inspired by this (x), so I hope whoever reads this enjoys it :)
Read it on AO3
Pairing: Larry
Word count: 1.5k
"Thank you, London! Have a great night, take care!"
Those were Harry’s last words before bowing to the crowd along with the other boys. He then blew kisses to the crowd and thanked them again in praying hands before heading backstage, where the other three were already. He ran to the green room and before he could take off his earpiece properly and actually step inside the room, Louis was already standing 2 centimeters from his face.
"The fuck, Harold?"
"What?" Harry looked confused and even though Louis didn’t block his view, he lifted his head up a little to try to look at the other two in the room to see if they knew what Louis was talking about.
Liam and Niall only shrugged their shoulders.
"You had to talk to that couple?" Louis raised one eyebrow, intensively looking to Harry.
"Oh, so we’re talking about this." Harry stepped aside trying to walk into the room and sit on the couch, but Louis followed his step, still standing in front of him.
"Of course I am, bloody hell, I am!" He raised both his arms, then let them down, impatiently.
"It was their anniversary, they deserved it…" Harry casually put his hands on Louis’s shoulder, making him stay steady while he moved away and finally could walk inside the room. Louis let out a sigh but followed Harry around.
"But today?" Louis stood in front of Harry while the tall one sat on the couch.
Liam and Niall were by the table, eating some fruits. Niall poked Liam, who was too entertained peeling a banana, making him pay attention to the other two talking.
"This is gonna be interesting, mate," Niall remarked, letting out a small laugh.
"What’s wrong with today? I don’t see anything wrong with today. Actually, today was the perfect day, if you are really asking me," Harry said, throwing one of his arms on the backrest of the couch, and finally taking off his sound equipment with the other.
"Yeah, the perfect day to make the fans go crazy and make a big fuss about it!" Louis shook his head, running one of his hands on his fringe.
"As if they weren’t already doing it since yesterday!" Harry laughed ironically. "You should’ve known it, since you were well awake this morning to check twitter and let them know you hadn’t slept at all!" The long-haired winked at Louis, who just rolled his eyes. "And you thought that wouldn’t make them go nuts."
"That’s completely different, there’s nothing to read into that tweet!"
"Yeah, no, of course not. You followed PR’s orientations very well, love. Talking about not getting any sleep on this exact day!"
Harry got up and walked right in front of Louis, subtly touching Louis’ cheek with his palm.
"I did no wrong with that tweet, Harry," Louis quickly slapped Harry’s hand, "but you, on the contrary, went full on talking about wedding anniversaries, emphasizing it was a freaking anniversary! I am actually surprised Paul is not here already to give us a fucking lecture!" Louis watched Harry walk to the table where Liam and Niall was, ready to eat some fruits himself.
Louis hands were tensed up, his knuckles getting white. He couldn’t believe Harry didn’t care at all about this situation.
"I honestly give two shits about what Paul has to say about this and if I had the chance I would have just fucking said it: HEY EVERYBODY DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE’S ANNIVERSARY IS IT TODAY?" Harry grabbed a banana and started impersonating himself on stage, holding the fruit as a microphone and throwing his hands in the air and pointing back and forth between himself and Louis.
"Well, you should’ve then!" Louis said, irritated, turning his face away from Harry.
And that was when it hit the tall boy. That was when it hit him that Louis wasn’t pissed off because of what Harry had said, but actually, it was what he hadn’t. He knew that boy damn well to know he didn’t care about what people, the fans or their manager would say about what happened on stage. But he cared about all the little things Harry did on stage for him and only for him. And that night, when the anniversary speech wasn’t about them, he should’ve known Louis would feel like this.
"I would’ve if you and Lima here weren’t too busy playing with each other," he remarked, throwing the banana back on the table, kind feeling offended that Louis thought he hadn’t considered doing anything like that.
"Oi! Cut me some slack, lads!" Liam answered back, slapping Harry on the stomach. "I have nothing to do with your little husbandly fight! If you wanted to bloody kiss each other on stage, I wouldn’t be the one to object to it!"
Louis was shocked to hear what came out of Harry’s mouth.
"You freaking know that my shenanigans with Payno are for pure entertainment." Louis turned to face Liam. "No offense, bro."
"None taken, but that doesn’t mean I won’t get revenge on that freaking water fight tomorrow, watch out," Liam said finishing his banana and throwing the skin over Niall’s head.
Louis gave him the finger and turned back to Harry.
"But I guess you actually didn’t do it because you were too busy being cuddly with Niall..."
"Wow there, I’m with Liam here," the Irish boy said, taking off the banana skin that had fallen on his blondish locks and throwing it on the garbage can near the table. "You guys leave us out of it. You bloody know we are just doing what we are supposed to do! And you better stop this nonsense fight before Paul gets here…"
"Shush, Niall," Harry said, sticking his arm to Niall and pointing him his index finger indicating him to be quiet. "This actually isn’t about you, any of you. This is about Louis being a little arsehole because he wanted me to have said it was our anniversary!"
"Are you out of your stupid mind, Styles?" The surprise look on his face gave him away. He didn’t want Harry to notice it. He didn’t even want to fight about it to begin with. But Harry would always turn the situation around. And now he didn’t want to admit it either. He had to defend his ego. "This is in no way close to what I’m saying…"
"Oh isn’t it? You’ve never been jealous of Niall before and today you decide to make a big deal out of it..." Harry started walking back close to Louis, not taking his eyes off him.
"This is not…" Louis was stepping back, trying not to let Harry get closer.
"Just admit it, Lou. You wanted me to out us today. You wanted me to have kissed the hell out of you on that fucking stage, just like you wish every damn concert," Harry continued to walk towards the small one, already with almost no space between them. His face had an intimidating look.
"I…" Louis almost tripped over the couch, but managed to sat there without making himself a bigger idiot than he had already portrayed.
"You wish this is what I had done, Louis…" Harry was leaning over Louis now, his face almost glued to Louis’ and his body now hovering him.
The pair of blue eyes met the green ones for a second and before Louis could catch a breath, Harry kissed him, both his hands now on Louis’s cheeks, strongly holding his face.
Louis could feel the cold touch of Harry’s rings on his skin and a shiver ran through his body. It was not like they hadn’t kissed previously on that day, that was not the case at all, but every time Harry acted like he could dominate Louis and control the whole situation, Louis’ walls would go down and that manly and fearless image he was trying to hold would vanish.
"Oh no, not again!" Niall said, letting out a sigh. "Haven’t you lads shagged enough already this morning? It’s not like you can’t wait until we get out of the arena…"
"Shut it, Horan!" Louis said breaking up the kiss. Harry gave him a very unsatisfied look, still holding Louis face in his hands. "If you don’t wanna watch it, just get the fuck out."
"Guys, I don’t wanna, hmm, interrupt this beautiful, beautiful moment, but Paul will come in any minute now…" Liam started talking but Harry deadly looked at him.
"Then watch the fucking door, Payne!" Harry shouted and Liam and Niall got up in a jolt and ran to the door laughing.
Harry looked back at Louis, who had a malicious grin on his face.
"This is what you wanted all along, wasn’t it?" Harry settled his body on top of Louis.
"Can’t say it wasn’t," Louis laughed and Harry leaned in for a kiss but stopped a second before, to contemplate Louis’ face.
"Happy anniversary, you fool." He said with a sweet smile.
"Cut off the clinginess and let’s get down to it, Styles," Louis said, pushing Harry’s body off him, making him fall on the couch on his back. "I have no intentions of getting any sleep again tonight."
December thirteenth, 2001. My sixth birthday, a day I was eager about. Being six meant using two hands to show off my age. Six was a pretty big deal in my mind. Sure, it wasn’t the big ol’ double digits (ten), but being six meant I was a step closer.
As I dressed myself in a light blue dress, snow white stockings, and matching light blue shoes, my step sister--Tiffany--woke up. While she rubbed her sleepy eyes, she said in a groggy tone, “Happy Birthday, Monkey Toes.”
“Don’t call me that,” I whined. Since I showed Tiffany that I could pick things up with my toes, she’s called me “Monkey Toes”. I disliked said primates since a wee little incident at the Dubbo Zoo. I shivered at the thought and Tif giggled slightly.
Tiffany gracefully slid out from under her sheets and trotted over to me. “What are you having mum make you for your special breakfast?” It was a tradition that my Mummy had made. The tradition simply was that whoever’s birthday it was, got whatever they wanted for breakfast. I remember for Tiffany’s birthday dinner she had us all eat ice cream. Today, I was going to pick French toast, for Tiffany hated French toast and I rarely ever got to eat it.
“Cinnamon French toast,” I answered, a grin creeping onto my face.
Tif scrunched up her face and stuck out her tongue, complaining with a simple, “Ew!”
“French toast is yummy!”
“Is not.” It was my turn to stick out my tongue and we both had a laugh.
“Tiffany! Aleene! Time for breakfast,” Mummy called up to us. We girls shared a look, a competitive one, before racing down the steps, both of us taking two at a time. The two of us laughed the entire way down; however; neither of us slowed down, as we did not want to lose. I was in the lead, a step ahead of Tiffany. That all changed though when we got to the threshold. In the doorframe stood Tiffany’s father. The broad man took up the whole doorframe, blocking our path to the kitchen. Nobody was going to win this race.
“What’s the password?” he joked, looking down upon us with a glimmer in his eyes. I looked at Tiffany, who had a smirk set upon her face, wondering if she knew the password.
“Please,” Tiffany replied in a sweet manner.
“Nope,” he answered, a smug look beseeching his face. Mummy came behind him, and placing her hands on her hips said maternally, “Eli dear, let them pass. They need to eat before they go to school.” Eli, which I always called him in my head, puffed out his cheeks and slowly moved aside.
“You may pass,” he groaned.
“Thank you Daddy,” Tiffany sang with a wee devious smile on her face. It must have been something she learned from her father.
The two of us trotted past Eli and sat at the kitchen table.
“So Dumpling, what would you like for breakfast?” Mummy asked me.
“French toast!” I screeched. Tiffany sneered playfully, which made Mummy and Eli laugh.
“French toast, hm? Will do.”
Mum quickly whipped up a batch of French toast while Tiffany made herself a bowl of cereal.
“Want some juice?” she asked while groping around for the milk.
“Yes please. Grape, if we have it.”
“You got it, kid.”
“Now Aleene,” Mum butt-in, “you know grape juice stains. Be extra careful when you drink it.” Tiffany then set a glass of grape juice on the table, which was brimming to the top. As I reached for the glass, Mum stopped me by putting her hand on mine and continued, “Remember, be careful. You don’t want to ruin your pretty blue dress.”
“Yes Mummy,” I replied, getting slightly agitated. I was six now, I could handle a glass of grape juice.
Mum lifted her hand off of mine and finally let me take a sip of juice. I absolutely adored grape juice. It was my favourite of all the juices I had ever tasted.
After breakfast was finished and the dishes cleaned up, Mummy took me into the bathroom to brush out my long black hair, and further prepare me for school. Tiffany herself was getting ready for school, and soon I found myself standing outside with her to wait for the school bus. The hot sun beat down upon us relentlessly, making me sticky and uncomfortable in my dress and stockings.
“Getting a tad hot there, Lenny?” Tiffany asked me.
“No,” I lied, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.
“Yeah, sure,” she teased.
Eventually, the yellow monstrosity--also known as the school bus--rolled up in front of us. The doors slowly opened and out wafted the smell of hot pleather. I instinctively grabbed Tiffany’s hand, of to which she gave a reassuring squeeze. She whispered to me, “I’ll pick you up right after class. Don’t leave Miss Vulpes room, okay? I’ll come in and get you, just like always.” I nodded and we boarded the stinky yellow demon. We took our usual seat and Tiffany quickly picked up conversation with one of her friends. My friend wasn’t on the bus yet, though he’d be on at the next stop.
Not at all being interested in Tiffany and Stacy’s conversation, I glanced out the window and watched the houses blur by. For fun, I decided to count how many red cars I saw. It was a game I often played on the bus.
“Hello, Earth to Aleene,” I heard Stacy say as I counted yet another red car.
“Yes?” I questioned sheepishly.
“I hear that today is your birthday. You’re six now, right?” I nodded shyly. Whenever I Was around Tiffany’s friends, I became uncharacteristically shy and quiet. Around just about anybody else though, I would rarely shut my trap. Why, Miss Vulpes even gave me the nickname, “Jabber Jaws”.
“May I sit there?” I heard a familiar voice ask Tiffany.
“Of course you may.” Tiffany grabbed her backpack and moved next to Stacy. Edmund plopped down next to me.
“Hey Monday,” which was my nickname for him, “do you know what today is?” I quizzed, a huge smile plastered on my face.
“Um. . .” he thought for a moment, thinking hard according to the look on his face. His thinking face made me think of somebody trying to poo. “Thursday?” he finally put in. I sighed and shook my head.
“No silly, it’s my birthday!”
“Oh, that’s right!” He gave me a big hug, squeezing me tightly and saying, “Happy Birthday.”
“Thank you.”
“So you’re finally six! Do you feel any different?”
As I sat there, I concentrated extremely hard. Did I feel any different? At last I answered, “No, not particularly.”
“Oh. Well, anyway, what do you want for your birthday?”
“I’d really like a bike,” I answered without skipping a beat. I had asked Santa for and brand new bike, but really hoped Mummy and Eli beat him to it.
“What kind of bike?”
“A pink one!”
Edmund rolled his eyes and I gave him a light shove, which granted me a scolding from the bus driver. “Keep your hands to yourself,” he stated dryly.
“Sorry,” I returned bashfully.
“Hmph. Just don’t do it again.”
“Yessir.”
~~~
Edmund and I slowly walked down the crowded hallways. Mudgee Public wasn’t that big of a school, but being around all the older kids made my tummy hurt.
When Edmund and I got to class, we took our respective seats near the window and pulled out our school supplies. Fred, who sat in front of us with Georgia, turned around and told me, “Happy Birthday!”
“Thanks Siegfried,” I smiled. Fred hated being called by his full first name, but I liked it and thought it as unique.
Though, I got where he was coming from. I never really liked my name, but I never told people that. They’d just tell me the same thing they always told Siegfried. Kids with unique names were always told to be happy that there name wasn’t like everybody else’s.
But having a unique name meant you stuck out like a sore thumb. When I got older, would I be an easier target for bullies? I saw how some of the older kids acted, and boy, could they be mean. Tiffany never seemed afraid of those big kids though. Why, they really seemed to like her. Mummy said that Tiffany was just a people person, that her essence just pulled others in. Mine? I assumed it also drew people in, as long as they were my age. But you know what they say about people who assume things.
When Miss Vulpes walked into the classroom, we all quieted down and prepared ourselves for our lessons. The day seemed to go by quickly, for soon it was lunch time. Mummy had packed me my favourite of all soups; potato. Along with my soup, she had made me a turkey sandwich, a fruit cup, and a muffin she had made late the other day.
“Oh,” Edmund gaped at the muffin, “may I have some?”
“No way! This is my special birthday muffin!”
“Well fine then, be that way.”
“I will!”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
“Oh jeez, will you two knock it off?” Siegfried groaned, rolling his unnatural green eyes. Edmund and I stuck out our tongues, which made Fred sneer.
“I hope you three are playing nice,” Miss Vulpes teased.
~~~
Later that day, Edmund, Fred, and I waited for Tiffany in Miss Vulpes room. The three of us took the bus home (though Fred was driven to school via his parents), and Tiffany always walked with me to the bus, so the boys just made a habit of waiting with me. Usually, we just played some games, but we never got to finish because Tiffany never took long to wrangle us up. Sometimes I timed her, and that’s how I learned it took her ten minutes to get to us. Probably because she was talking with her friends. Probably Stacy, because she didn’t take the bus home and all of Tiffany’s other friends did. Plus, Stacy was Tiffany’s best friend.
“Hey, hey Monday. Yeah, you too Fred. I’ve got a question for ya.”
“Yeah?” Edmund was the first to respond, seeing as I called him first.
“Wanna come to my birthday party?”
“Sure!” the two of them exclaimed excitedly.
“Yay! It’s tomorrow after school. My family will be there too. You guys will love my uncle Kobi. He’s visiting here for a little while with Auntie Penny and Nova.”
“Who’s Nova?” Fred asked.
“She’s my cousin.”
“What does she look like?”
“She looks a lot like Auntie Penny. They both have the same button nose and blonde hair, brown eyes. However, she has Uncle Kobi’s high cheekbones. She’s really nice, I’m sure you two will like her.”
“Come on you rugrats, let’s go!” I heard Tiffany call from the doorframe. I smiled widely and ran to her, giving her the biggest hug I could possibly give.
“I missed you, sissy.”
“Oh yeah? I’m sure Mum and Dad missed you too. So why don’t we go home and see them?”
“Okay!”
As we walked down the hallway, I hung onto Tiffany’s hand. Fred clung to my free hand, and Edmund grasped Fred’s free hand. Together, we made one long wall of people. Thankfully, there was nobody else in the halls.
~~~
“Bye you guys!” I shouted to Fred and Edmund as I jumped off the bus, Tiffany already heading towards the house. As the bus drove away, I gave my friends and quick wave and then ran after Tiffany. I needed to hurry up and change for my ballet class. Excitement bubbled within me, for I wanted to see my other friends. Excited to gather up more birthday wishes.
When I got into the house, Mummy had already set out my ballet clothes and made me a little snack. After using the restroom, I got dressed and ate my carrots with peanut butter. Carrots and peanut were my absolute favourite snack.
“Can I have one?” I heard Tiffany ask behind me.
“What’s the magic word?”
“Pleeeease?” she begged, puffing out her cheeks just like Eli always did. I handed her one of my carrots and off she scampered, just like a bunny. As I turned back to my carrots, she popped up in front of me, chewing on a carrot, and asked, “What’s up, Doc?” I giggled and gave her a light shove.
“I gotta get ready!” I complained, though there was a smile on my face.
“You’re no fun,” she retorted, snagging another carrot and then bolting upstairs. Grumbling to myself, I finished off my carrots and read until Mummy came through the front door.
“Ready to go, Dumpling?” I nodded frantically and ran outside to the car.
I loved dance class. The music, the way your body could contort and twist so gracefully, everything. I practiced everyday, because that’s what Madame insisted upon. Besides, I saw Madame everyday. Some, well actually most, only saw Madame once a week. Madame said that I had the talent, the soul of a dancer. Day in and day out, I’d be doing ballet. Sometimes I didn’t even notice I was doing it. Ballet was just my passion.
Thinking about dance reminded me of the horror stories about dance that Tiffany used to tell me. She’d tell me all these negative things, of to which it just became apparent that she hated dancing. What she liked to do was act. That was her passion. You could just tell by the way her eyes gleamed when anybody brought up information about an upcoming play.
Getting to dance class, I quickly ran up the the barre and started with some pliés.
“Aleene!” I heard Jillian shout.
“Hello,” was my simple reply, a smile upon my face.
“Happy birthday, youngblood.”
Jillian was thirteen, for I was in an advanced dance class. Jillian the oldest, myself the youngest. The ages in this class were thirteen to ten, me being the obvious exception. The ballet group was titled, “Intermediate Ballet II”. The actual advanced class was already in pointe shoes.
The recital was going to be in January, so this whole month was crazy. After we finished our number, we did it again. Again and again until class was finally over. Some of the girls hated it, were always tired after doing it twice. Those were the girls that were forced to dance by their mothers, the ones that had passions elsewhere.
“Alright girls, are we ready?” Madame asked. We knew the drill. Twenty minutes of warm-ups, and then we dedicated the rest of class to our dance. For recital, we were dancing to Clair de Lune, which I found to be a stunning piece.
Since I was so short, in front of all the other girls. It was extra important for me to leanr all the proper moves and steps. When the music started, the world around me disappeared. The music enveloped me, cradled me in its loving arms and took me to places I had never seen before. At least, not in person. Places like Paris, Japan, and even galaxies of unknown lands.
I started to realize who my real family was. Enrique was more like a brother than a cousin, his friends almost also like brothers to me. Doctor Gregor soon became the father I emotionally needed, a man I could tell anything to. Luther, who I snuck chats with when my mother got business calls on her cellphone, was a lot like my grandpa, a man that I didn’t get to interact with often. I realized that this makeshift family wasn’t the most organized, or really the most real, but all that mattered to me was that these people made me happy.
There was one Sunday I went to church with Enrique. Church was something my parents only did on holidays, but Enrique and his family did every Sunday. The thing that got me was that they didn’t pick one of the pretty churches like my parents did, but they picked--frequented--one that was in the more rundown area of Detroit. A place I was forbidden to ever set foot in.
“Sometimes I usher here. You know what an usher is?” I nodded and reached up to grab Enrique’s hand, who was looking down at me as he spoke.
“Of course she knows what an usher is, she’s a smart girl,” Enrique’s mama replied. This statement made Enrique smile broadly as he guided all of us to a pew.
It took a minute to realize why I couldn’t read the lyrics in the hymnal or understand what anybody was saying: everything was in Spanish. We were in a Latino church. When I looked around, really looked around, I made note of me being the only white person in the whole building. Is this how a person of minority felt on a daily basis? I knew I didn’t feel scared, but there was indeed a discomfort gnawing at my insides. For some reason, I yearned for Tal, or for that matter, any other white person to be standing next to me. Why though, I knew not. In my mind I knew that all these people were good natured, kind of heart, and that there was no reason to feel the discomfort I was feeling, and yet it stayed within me. Why, if I got separated from Enrique, would any of these people understand English? There had to be a reason as to why they were all speaking Spanish.
Where were these thoughts coming from? These fears, they were irrational, and yet they were coming into my head at such a fast pace.
“Hey, kid, relax. I’m here.” My head snapped towards the speaker, my eyes looking into purple ones that I had known so well. Tal had come to my rescue.
Overall, I had enjoyed the church experience and had decided to go to one, by myself, on Sundays. You know, closer to home. Sometimes what the man at the front had to say was boring, but I did indeed enjoy the singing. The woman I sat next to, a very large black woman that always wore pretty dresses and matching hats, also must have liked to sing, because whenever she opened her mouth to sing, she was the only voice that I heard.
I learned that the woman’s name was Miss Julibe. She thought that it was awful “cute” that I always had some spare change to throw into the offering plate.
Miss Julibe had three sons, all sent away to college. She missed them greatly and wondered if I would like to come over for lunch, seeing as she didn’t live too far away. I didn’t see the harm of going to lunch with her, seeing as she was so kind, so I gladly accepted.
Sitting in the living room as Miss Julibe hustled and bustled in the kitchen, I realized that this was the first apartment I had ever been in. Miss Julibe’s apartment decor mainly consisted of photos. Photos of her sons, pets, and what looked like her daddy. She had potted plants out on the balcony, and lots of them. Pink flowers, blue flowers, and even yellow ones. Just a rainbow of flowers. The woman must of been lonely, what with her sons in college and, to my assumption, no husband. Who could blame her? I had a few people that I talked to, yet at times still felt completely alone.This loneliness usually crept into me when I was home alone, Tal doing god only knows what and my parents “busy” out socializing. Of course, they left me with a babysitter, they weren’t stupid, but my babysitter always called over a group of her friends and primarily excluded me. I didn’t like the things they talked about anyway, they weren’t like Owen and Landon. Those two talked more about the funny things that happened at school, and when Landon actually lead a conversation, he spoke of fascinating things that actually put my mind to work. Alaine the babysitter and her friends were probably turning my poor brain into mush.
“Little lady, you ever have gumbo?” Miss Julibe called from the kitchen.
“No ma’am, never.”
“Please, call me Miss Julibe.”
“No Miss Julibe, I have never had gumbo.” Miss Julibe gave off a laugh and said, “Well, let’s hope that mine is a good enough first impression.”
Miss Julibe came out into the living room holding two blue plastic bowls. Steam rolled out of both and the smell emanating from them was rather inviting. The taste was equally as good, for I sat there scraping the bottom of the bowl with my spoon.
“My, my, looks like you really liked it.Or maybe you was starving for days. You don’t live on the streets, do ya?”
“No Miss Julibe, I live on 631 West Boston Boulevard.”
“No wonder you’re done up so pretty. You one of them fancy gals.”
“Miss Julibe, what do you mean?”
“Your parents have good, steady jobs. Probably work at the factory. Managers?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Why, I work two jobs and have to live in this tiny little apartment. Goodness am I lucky that my boys got to go to college. Took a lot of saving, but I did it. Boy, did I do it.”
“Two jobs? You should be rich!”
“I wish. When the boys were around, we got by on food stamps and money from the government.”
“Miss Julibe, are you poor?”
“Some people may think I live in poverty, I suppose. There are people out there living worse than I am though. I ain’t living the high life, but it could be a lot worse.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ll show you what real poverty is like. My sister, she lives in poverty. C’mon little lady, let’s go.”
We walked down streets that were unfamiliar to me; streets that smelled like sewage and looked torn, dilapidated. I had no idea what part of Detroit we were in, but I didn’t like it. Miss Julibe was the only protection I had against the hoards of gaunt looking teens gathered by the mouths of alleyways. Many of the people I saw were African American, and once again I felt disquieted, just like I did when I went to church with Enrique.
The husky Miss Julibe guided me into one of the tall, brick apartment buildings. Smell after smell protruded my nose, most of them unpleasant. There was, however, the faint aroma of a freshly baked cherry pie. My mother rarely baked, but Enrique’s mother had a knack for it. Her house would be filled with all sorts of pleasant, nose tickling smells.
“You smell that, baby girl? That’s my sister baking. She makes the best pies in our whole family.”
“And you make the best gumbo.”
“You got that right little missy. I learned from the best, my grandma, God bless her soul.” Miss Julibe stopped in front of one of the apartment doors and before knocking, said to me, “Here, this is my sister’s apartment.”
Three swift knocks on the door numbered apartment two hundred nine and it went flying open. In the doorway stood a dark woman, thin a frail looking. In her arms she was holding a little baby that was chewing on a carrot.
“Marie?” Ah, so this was Miss Julibe’s name. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m showing this young lady around town. She didn’t really understand poverty.”
“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” Miss Julibe shrugged and brought me into the apartment. The space was cramped, the furniture and appliances old, worn.
My parents would have a fit if they found me here.
Miss Julibe took the baby out of her sister’s arms and disappeared into what I assumed was the bedroom. Her sister took my hand and sat with me on the sofa, saying, “So, what’s your name little missy?”
“Nicoletta Weber. What’s your name?”
“Pecola. Like the character in the book, The Bluest Eye.”
“I wish I was named after a character in a book. I really like books.” As is completely ignoring my statement and wanting me out of her home as soon as possible, Pecola asked, “What exactly do you want to know about poverty?”
“Um, I guess. . .what is it like?”
“It isn’t easy living paycheck to paycheck. Now that we got the baby, that don’t help none either.”
“How does poverty happen?”
“Some are born into it. Jus’ like you was born into a nice, cozy family. When you finish schooling you’ll probably get a nice, high paying job and probably find yourself a man that’s a doctor or a lawyer. You two will live in a big ole house with a lush green backyard and a classic little white picket fence, and soon enough, you’ll have children running around the place. Your kids will still be in highschool when you get to retire, while I’ll probably be working as many jobs as I can. While your kids repeat your lifestyle, mine will repeat my lifestyle.”
“Miss Pecola, why don’t you come live with me and my mommy and daddy? We can take care of you so that you never ever have to work again, never have to worry.” Miss Pecola gave off a chuckle and answered, “Ah, children. How innocent they are. Child, I couldn’t do that. Your mommy and daddy wouldn’t be happy with that.”
“Why?”
“Goodness gracious, you as a lot of questions. Speaking of yo’ mommy and daddy, aren’t they wondering where you be? I think it’s about time Marie takes you home.”
When I finally got home, the only one to ask me about my whereabouts was Tal. Both my parents were locked away in their offices, as usual.
“Where were you? You were gone all day,” Tal said to me as I flopped down unto my bed and grabbed my stuffed lizard, a gift given to me by my grandmother when she has visited Arizona.
“You know that I go to church on Sundays.”
“Yeah, but church doesn’t last that long. Plus, you smell like poor people.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” To hide the guilt that may have been on my face, I rolled over onto my stomach and squished my face into the pillows.
“Okay, sure, that’s why you’re hiding. Now c’mon,” he tugged at my shoulder, “you know that you can tell me. Don’t you trust me?”
“Go away Tal!”
“Make me!”
Tal continued to tug at my shoulder until I finally sat up and screamed, “I went to the bad part of Detroit! I talked to a woman named Pecola about poverty and I offered her a place to stay. She refused and then sent me home.” The look of shock on Tal’s face made me lower my head and pull my lizard close to my chest. When I took the smallest gander up at Tal, his dark eyebrows were closely knit together.
“How’d you even manage to get there?”
“Miss Julibe took me.”
“And I’m supposed to know who that is?”
“She’s a woman that I always sit next to in church. I guess she’s lonely because her sons are in college. Today, she invited me over for lunch.”
“What did the two of you eat?”
“Something she called ‘gumbo’. It was real good.”
“I’m going to church with you next time so I can meet this lady. Make sure she isn’t a serial killer or anything.”
The rest of the Sunday I spent in my room, playing with Tal. He told me of his day, of the strange things that happened to him. I remember falling asleep on a bundle of blankets that were strewn across the floor, only to wake up in my own bed.
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It hurts
To be ignored
Just that hint of acknowledgement burns through you
As if you are important enough
Tormented
I know you see me,
Hear my whispers
Why would you chose to hurt me?
Maybe it's just more fun
Does it make you feel powerful,
Like you are somebody important?
Well,
You're no longer important to me
And I'm happy to have you out of my life.
Good riddance
Out on the porch, I said my goodbyes to Arik. I could have always gone over to his place, and sometimes I did, but now I could not. I mean goodness, I had a guest over at the house. “You sure you don’t wanna sneak over? Maybe at midnight, like when we were younger?”
“Arik, you know I can not do that. Not today.”
“What about tomorrow though?” he asked in a heartbroken manner. I slid my hands into his back pockets and answered, “Do not worry about it, everything will be fine. I promise.” He smiled lamentably and sighed, “Okay, if you say so. Guess. . .guess I should get going then.”
“Drive safe.” We kissed goodbye and I stood outside until his Chevy Volt practically disappeared from my eyesight. With a mournful sigh I went back into the house and up to my room. Instantly I sat at my piano and started to play “Clarie de Lune” by Claude Debussy.
“You are really good on the piano,” Emery whispered from the corner of my room. He was also clutching the comforter off my bed in his skinny fingered hands. I completely ignored his statement and instead replied, “Emery, are you okay?” I stood from the piano bench and went over to him, placing my arm around his shoulders. He was like the little brother I never had.
“Guess I am just exhausted from everything that went on today. I cannot sleep. It sucks.” I nodded in agreement. There was nothing worse than being dog tired and unable to actually sleep.
“Do you want to talk about something? Maybe it will help.” With barely a pause he blurted, “Tell me about Arik.” I felt a blush crawl across the skin on my cheeks and answered, “Well, he is twenty-seven, four years my senior, and he works as a lawyer at a building in the city. He really enjoys working as a lawyer. You should have seen his face when he learned he passed his bar exam. He grew up in the country too though, and I know that he sometimes misses it down here. Always says that the city is awfully crowded and cold hearted.”
“He seems nice, and he obviously makes you happy. Have you two. .um, well-”
“No, we haven’t slept together. We both believe in marriage first.”
“He is lying to you. I mean, he totally wants you.Besides, you two will probably marry. I say do it.” I laughed and stood up, helping Emery up as well. “I will keep that in mind for tomorrow night. It is our fourth year of being together.” I gave Emery a quick hug before sending him off to bed.He was an extremely nice boy. The way his blonde hair barely passed his green eyes was just adorable. I found the boy to be just as cute as a button. Along with that, he was very much like one of the Sunday school children. He was a child at heart that could find a simplistic answer to some of the most complex questions.
As the night continued on and I did not tire, I decided to go out into the woods. The woods was my favourite place to be due to the peacefulness that tended to radiate from them. It always calmed my nerves to be in there as well. Why, I met Arik in the very same woods. We were both little, myself seven and he eleven. He was fishing at the small creek that we still tend to visit. Being somewhat of a brat when I was little, I ran over to him and pushed him into the creek. Somehow after that, we became best friends. In high school, people always either thought we were brother and sister or dating. I guess we spent a lot of our time together. Funny how we did not start dating until college. It started with the same spur of the moment attitude as when we first met. We were studying in my dorm room, himself about law and I about music, when all of a sudden, I got the overwhelming desire to just have my lips brush along his own. So, I did it. Thank the Lord we did not sleep together, even though we were pretty close to doing it. We stuck with the mature route and decided to wait. Then I thought about Emery’s advice. I mean, we had been together for four years. Granted, people that have dated longer than we have tend to still break-up. But did they know each other since they were little kids? I doubted it.
So really, what was the harm? To my belief, you are to only be married so that you would be with somebody you loved. I for one, am completely crazy about Arik. So it was settled. Tomorrow night was going to be extra special.
The next morning I got a call from Arik. He of course had caught the flu. “Do you want me to come over?”
“Oh bug, I do not want you to get sick. Plus, you do not want to spend the day taking care of me.”
“Pah! I’ll be over in a little while.” I hung up, got myself all dolled up, and quickly threw together a makeshift breakfast of even more flapjacks and bacon. “You look awfully nice.”
“Thank you kindly, Emery.”
“No problem. I can finish up those pancakes for you too. Go on, have some fun with your ‘man’.” I gave Emery a hug, thanked him, and left to go take care of Arik. Thankfully my clunker of a truck started, unlike a few days ago. The drive there was somewhat hectic from some people trying to get to work on time, even though it was a Sunday. The cars were too fancy for them to even think about spending some time in the good Lord’s home. When I finally got to Arik’s apartment building and buzzed in, I could feel some of the stress immediately roll off of my body. I unlocked his door and walked in to the smell of cooking bacon and other breakfast like foods. “Arik, what are you up to? From the kitchen he appeared wearing the pink apron he got me for Christmas and having flour upon his face, “I made breakfast for you Claribel.”
“I thought you were sick though. . .”
“I, uh, kinda-”
“Lied. To make sure I would get my butt over here I assume?” He nodded at me sheepishly. I smiled at him and kissed his nose, “Mister Northcote, you did not have to lie. Now you will have to be punished.”
“I thought we were going to wait though for that kind of thing.”
“Well,” I pulled him closer by his belt loops, “you love me and I love you so why don’t we-” Instantly he scooped me up and threw me unto the couch. “Jesus Claribel, you do not know how long I have been waiting for this moment..” He grabbed my shirt and practically ripped it off. I was going to wait until later tonight and make make it more romantic, but I found myself swept up in the same emotions as Arik. Then I remembered that he was cooking something. “Arik!” I pushed him off and he thudded unto the ground, “I don’t want this building to catch on fire!” The look of confusion he gave me was totally priceless.
“What in God’s name are you talking about?”
“Your breakfast.”
“Shit!” He ran into the kitchen and the smell of burning bacon filling my nostrils and soon the entire small apartment room. I sauntered in after him and took a glance at what damage had been done. He had made these little heart shaped pancakes, unharmed, scrambles eggs, which were also fine, and the bacon, oh the poor bacon, was burnt through and through. “This looks awfully tasty hon.”
“R-really?”
“Of course! The pancakes are absolutely adorable. Why not take off your manly apron and we will eat.” He casted the apron off into the other room and we began on our feast.
“Claribel, I have something to tell you. I was going to wait, but I just can’t wait any longer.” He drew a small box out on his pocket and got unto bent knee. “Claire, from the moment I saw you I knew we would be really good friends. Sure we had our fights, but so does everybody. Then in college you took me by surprise once again by kissing me. I’ll tell you, it was much better than being pushed into a creek. I love you, and you love me. You even said so earlier. I want. . .I want to be by your side forever,” he opened the box and inside was a beautifully crafted diamond ring, “will you marry me?” Through choked tears I gave him the answer I knew he was already sure he was going to get, “Yes!” He stood up, I stood up, and he drew me into his arms and gave me a swift twirl.
“I love you so much Claribel,” he whispered as he slid the ring unto my finger.
“I can’t wait to tell everybody! This is so exciting Arik,” I kissed him, “and I love you too.”
“What. . .what do we do now? I was going to propose to you way later then this.” He smiled meekly and scuffed the ground with his foot.
“Well, what else did you have in mind for today?”
“Oh!” Without telling me what was going on, he grabbed my hand and dragged me out the door and into his car. “I have some special stuff planned for the future misses Northcote.”
“Well goodness, let us get right to it then.”
The day was filled with many fantastic outings. First we went to the Spartanburg art museum, one that I had wanted to go to for years. Then, we went on a hot air balloon trip around the city. Afterwards, we had a picnic in a nearby park. We then decided to stroll the streets of Spartanburg. In a few of the shops we had found some cute little knickknacks to bring back home. It was not quiet time for dinner, so we decided to go out and see a movie, which was as perfect as the whole day. When we finally got back home, Arik prepared dinner. “Did you enjoy yourself tonight?” he asked.
“I did, did you?”
“It could not have been any better.” For dinner, he had made pasta and chicken gratin and he had bought Chardonnay. After, we spent some quality time together. It was such a well planned night, I loved it completely.