#b&v

[Ep. Statues: Already Watched/First Time Watching + Remember/Vaguely/Don't Remeber]

Cheryl you dramatic ass hoe. You literally just said "I'm guilty" in front of your entire class made a whole scene and only waited to elaborate until you got cuffed and taken to a secluded room???! This girl has zero brain cells she just fakes it till she makes it.

Also did they even read her her rights?

I WAS RIGHT HE WAS GONNA RUN AWAY. WITH POLLY(?).

I think she was pregnant but how could I have possibly forgotten such a big detail (says person who has forgoten all the big details up until now).

..... I don't remember much of Cheryl's parents (expect that Cheryl's mother was a dominatrix? Please tell me that's a hallucination) but wow from that 1 scene they said "Fuck subtlety. We are evil mustach twirling villains".

Okay but Alice seems to represent the very real treat of media coverage being pushed by a personal agenda to be a smear campaign.

HOWEVER I know the cw writers aren't that good, so this is a Supernatural brand of accidental good writing.

Fuck ya Archie lets goooo! Ignore Grunkle, confess what you know! Expose her!

Me when he didn't expose Grangle ^^^

Hold up Veronica's dating outside the polycule? I don't remember this!

Betty: Juggy 😘😍😍😊😊

Me:

I got past the cringe and into the emotional hits. Now it's 50/50

They bounce off each other well, they have half decent chemistry. Realising why the fandom fandom latched onto Bughead as the het ship of choice.

Also they are both bi4bi.

Chuck is being suspiciously nice. And they're really speed running this shit....

Okay Grungly not only are you being a crazy freak about Archie coming forward about information (which anybody would have applauded him for and he left your name out) but you're using your power dynamic to punish him for it? Get the fuck out. This woman makes my skin crawl.

"Sticky maple, it's exactly what it sounds like." Mmmmh no it's not. That doesn't elaborate anything at all. Man allos are..

I'm feeling a deep seated glee at Veronica's reaction and that Kevin and Betty 100% support her.

She just... burst in there. Okay. Love that for her! No hesitation no "omg she saw him naked and got all flustered" nah my girl just body slammed him outta the way like Cruella on a highway. Veronica road rages confirmed. Also.

SHE'S HOLDING BETTY'S HAND!

Wait so the first official use of "B & V" is by a slut shaming asshole named Chuck Clayton???? Okay.... how about no. And canon is what I want :)

But man I love the use of "B & V". Sounds like the name of a bed and breakfast. Hmmmm maybe after the show is over Betty and Veronica move to Vermont, open a charming B&B called "B & V's Bed and Breakfast" like another CW queer couple?

Love that Betty snapped at Chuck. Zero hesitation no longer gives half a shit about seeing a dick. Claws out for her girlfriend.

"The betas you dated in New York" ........... RED FLAG ALERT 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩also a really funny one cause you're probably thinking "who in their right mind talks like this"? And then you realise... yeah every teenage fuck boy.

I am actually so concerned. Please somebody talk to Weatherbee about getting these guys thier shots I think they've got rabies. Why the fuck else are they barking?

😑🤨 Doiley is giving alt-right redit incel.

"Anything you want *bites lip* except for my body"

The mf sitting beside her, just trying to graduate high school and get the hell outta here:

Ohhh the pussycats arc. Pretty sure 1 of them quits and bands with Archie.

Wasn't she like, the Gargoyle King's no. 1 groupie?

My support group maker Betty headcanon is being furthered here.

Cheryl??? Girl do you have a story you'd like to share with the class?

Me, pointing to the Cheryl Bitch-O'Meter ready to slide it higher: Honey you can't keep doing this. I can't defend you.

Cheryl: Sluts

I mean they (the writers) aren't doing this whole "we're gonna tackle a social issue experienced by teens, mostly girls" thing great per say, but the intent is there... I think. And it kinda hits when Ethel mentions that she went to the Principle and he didn't do shit.

Cheryl: Proof that what, boys will be boys?

Me, already adding 2 bow and arrows to the meter: yah no. That's enough. It's giving pick me girl

Jughead pulling a Batman got me going like, "oh no, my pathetic bi trans emo boys, they're multiplying".

Of fucking course the gun scare was caused by a fucking idiotic teen with unbridled access to firearms. God help me I don't live in a country where that's a problem but even I can pick up the subtext, it's hitting me in the face like a 2x4.

Okay the scene where Josie is like "you can't write our experience" and Archie is like "shit you're right my bad" is actually very good but ik for a fact that one shitty lyric suggestion from gingerbread later will flip that shit over so fast.

Aaaand I was right. Flipped so fast.

"Just how depraved is this town"

Like I promise you Veronica you're gonna wish it stopped it here.

"A B&E with B&V" lovely alliteration there Cheryl.

"Trev told Valerie, who told Josie, who told Ginger, who told Tina who told me". Okay damn. But far more realistic than I expected. It's a highschool there are no secrets. The only thing I simply refuse to believe is that that the chain of Chinese whispers is that solid or effective.

I wonder how many students hear about the wild shit this lot get up to and just go "Absoulty not. It's our circus sure. But I, as a monkey am not being paid enough for this. Or at all."

"Polly grew up too fast. I don't want to blah blah blah"

"I like it." Oh the helicopter mother damage it showing.

Okay who has a pool in that small a town?

OH the black bob wig my Absoulte Enemy.

Easy on the drinks there Alice- OH she just bitch slapped her huh? Now I feel like I'm just watching the real housewives.

Okay Romeo and Juliet balcony scene. Secret meeting at the masked ball I see you.

OH Fred. "What made you take such an interest in my son?" Get HER ASS FRED 🔪😡🤬

"Park avenue princess to cater waiter" exhibit ... idk H of reasons Alice is actually Karen; disrespect of customer service/servers.

😬 hold up. Thier drugging him?! And those are- okay. Who is writing these scripts??!

Betty... nah.

OH Fred Andrews... this show doesn't deserve you.

Betty, Betty. Denial is a river... ya know.

Okay but can we talk about the fact that only Hermione (Veronica's mom) showed up to negotiate with Weatherbee? Betty's mother? Not even in the shot. How much you will to get that she was willing to leave Betty high and dry, on her own, as an extra punishment.

"Betty and Veronica, now B&V, maybe forever, were forged" BERONICA SWEEP.

ANDREW. WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING.

FINALLY. THE BOMB HAS. GONE. OFF.

~

Archie ab shot count (per episode then added together per season): None this episode but we'll put an honourary 0.5 in there for Chuck.

Cheryl's Bitch-O'Meter: 🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹|🏹 I know this is supposed to be an episode of growth and what not. But the slut shaming and just... general *indicates vaguely* merits this in my opinion.

Is it a bird? A plane? No it's a new headcannon pulled right out of thin air! :

bi4bi Bughead

Veronica has road rage

B&V's B&B (destiel paralle)

Reddit incel Doyley

Yeah so B moved to La.

And well B and V have been talking through comments on insta lives of each other or Silky's.

Then B goes to Jose apartment " to see the cat ". """supposedly""""

And then there's a couple of B lives where we can pretty much hear V in the background.

V insta stories are kinda cryptic. Like rihanna songs about love, quotes about love/aesthetic pics.

A LOT OF CAT SELFIES HAHAHA.

Oh And Twitter. B made a meme with Vanjie's face + Brooke's feet. And vanjie replied that love MAKES you do crazy stuff. B called Him BABE.

Also, B talks a lot about vanjie in his insta lives.

It's just an accumulation of lil stuff AND WE are HERE for IT.

Yeah we are all like that. Waiting for the next thing.

Ps : if any of you have more too SAY.

The StClaire 3 soon to be 4!