#starting school

three is such a magical age. it's the age elmo will be forever, the age where you learn to speak the inner thoughts aloud. soon, i will set you off on your adventures: send you off to learn things i cannot teach. yet, how sturdy have i set the foundation? do you get up again when you fail, what do you call yourself, when you do? i have so often called myself names, set my value by what i accomplish reaching for superhuman standards. wondering how i compare to my sister, to my father. and, what does that teach you? what do you learn with my lack of satisfaction? and who will you be? when you are eight, will you seek the tops of trees, still call crows "amma's birds?" when you are nine, will you still imagine all the world can be made good? when you are ten, will you still play doctor to your toys, while pronouncing "diagnosis" more cleanly? when you are eleven, will you imagine your friends, your dolls and yourself the saviors of the world? for, you are not elmo, you will not be three forever. you are not made of felt. you will not always fit into my shoulder. i am just the steward of your life and in slow increments i am unleashing my experiment onto the world. we are not fiction - p. s. shuller

I’m starting school again tomorrow 😭 Praying for myself and my sleep schedule 🙏