#startard

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50fAvy6Qk28)

Hello, fellow travelers and conspiratards. Welcome to KCK19. Tonight’s episode? Rise of the Startards! What’s a startard, you might ask? A startard is defined by the Omni-Eris dictionary as a special regiment of conspiratard, a type so god-damned narcissistic and stupid that they actually think they’re either alien beings here from another planet or “empaths” with special psychic abilities given to them because of their highly advanced spirituality. In this regard, they are lower than your average conspiratard, but in terms of sheer entertainment value, they’ve cranked it up to 11 on the dial.

Our first video comes from Spiritual-Awakening.net – aka Nicky Sutton! She cloaks herself in a green-screened halo of light to give us a bit of a rundown on starseed/lightworker history. Did you know, in the 1980’s it was estimated that up to 60+ million people were starseeds? Do you know who estimated this? The ancestors of this conspiratard. You can tell there’s not much going on in that brain of hers but I am giving her major points for production value. Maybe we’ll see you again? There are definitely better conspiratards tonight so…

Our second video is from Gigi Young! Oh yes! And she wants to tell us about the Pleiadians! Well, Gigi, you’re a keeper. You’re now officially added into my rotation of favorite conspiratards for the show. Gigi tells us about how this alien race names their children… yeah, they name them after the sounds of their soul. The real gold here is in watching her brain try to fill in the blanks for her stupid bullshit as it falls from her mouth. She’s actually bothered to invent a system for how aliens name their babies. Like there aren’t any real things in life she needs to deal with.

The third video is from DevineMiracles, who saw fit to register the trademark of her YouTube name. Don’t worry, lady, no one is going to steal your stupid username. Here she gives advice for empaths. It’s funny to me she claims to be some kind of authority figure on this subject when the advice she gives is exactly what you’d expect a cranked up middle-aged woman who believes herself to be gifted to give. How does she know she’s an empath? Because she craves sugary foods!

Our fourth video comes from a porstarseed named Alura Cein. She looks quite… interesting. Interesting choice on how to present yourself, Alura. She is of course an Arcturian channel and she has made this YouTube video to let us all know what the Arcturians are thinking. So, this alien race communicated across multiple light years to share the message of what they look like and that they live on a planet. Okay. Yeah. Nothing else? That’s all they had to say?

Our final video is the best – Arcturis Ra wants to give us his weekly update from the Arcturian Council. Yeah, he’s also an Arcturian channel. Do they have anything interesting to say this time? Nope. They simply want to remind us all that we aren’t able to understand everything, and let us know that the rock of the week is Rainbow Obsidian! A rock that scares many people… people who should kill themselves. What the fuck is up with these Arcturians… is their society so perfect that in their boredom, they have to entertain themselves by channeling retarded shit to these morons? Arcturis Ra, you’re a goldstar conspiratard, we’ll be seeing you again for sure.

Thanks for watching guys, if you like the show be sure to give it a thumbs up. If you’re a startard or empath, give it a thumbs up anyway, because fuck you! And subscribe.