#starspangled

“Consumer Affairs” (T, 1k) by galwednesday

“Tom,” Sara, the Senior Marketing Associate, said levelly, “if you don’t let me promote our bedroom product line using the Winter Soldier’s tweet reviews, I will quit. I will quit today. I will leave you high and dry with a junior marketing associate and an intern, Tom. The intern just started last week. He doesn’t even know how to work the copier yet.”

The VP for Public Affairs rubbed his temples. “Sara.”

She slapped a piece of paper onto his desk. “I already wrote my letter of resignation. You know what it says? It says that I cannot possibly do my job if I’m deprived of the best free publicity opportunity that has ever crossed my desk, and that will ever cross it again, in the form of one James Buchanan Barnes and his Supersoldier Fuckability Index.”

(Bucky reviews IKEA beds. The marketing team responds.)

+ Post WS. Twitter. Bucky tweets his sexcapades with IKEA furniture. Some beds are sturdier than others

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“#TweetMeDaddy” (T, 4k) by StarSpangled

Coulson, for his part, stares up at Bucky with such a betrayed look of frozen horror that Natasha actually goes the extra step and presses another button, capturing the moment and airdropping the photograph to her phone for posterity. When he speaks, his voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. “Why…?” He swallows and starts again, trying for some semblance of normality. “...Why would you tweet something like that?!”

“If you must know, sir,” and somehow he manages to make ‘sir’ come out with the same inflection most people reserve for ‘motherfucking son of a bitch’, “it’s because I have a difficult time doing my job when my job involves monitoring the man with the best fucking ass in the United States of America.” He slowly lowers himself back into his seat until he’s at eye level, making extreme eye contact with Coulson until Coulson turns away to make mortified eye contact in Natasha’s general direction through the one-way glass. Natasha would take another picture, if she weren’t too busy catching Steve’s red-faced sputtering. “Sometimes, I vent to my Twitter followers. Sometimes, it’s about hot men with washboard abs. Can I go now, or do you need a graphic description of how I pleasure myself at night?”

+ Shrunkyclunks. Twitter. Jarvis picks up a death threat online. Bucky’s having a bad day, Coulson’s is worse, and Natasha is enjoying this immensely

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“Nothing’s As Sweet As Supersoldiers In Love” (T, 12k) by heartsdesire456

Informally titled: Bucky Barnes Loves The 21st Century Almost As Much As He Loves Steve Rogers

“Captain America’s mystery lover! That’s what everybody’s talking about.”

Bucky turned around as soon as he heard ‘Captain America’, only to see Tony had on some entertainment news report and his latest photo of sleeping Steve was flashed up on the screen beside the person talking. “Hey, what’s that?” he asked, hopping over the back of the couch to land beside Stark.

“Your Cap lovin’ gone viral, I guess,” Tony said, turning up the volume.

“Rumors spread like wildfire with the first photo of Steve Rogers, Captain America himself, was posted to a comically named Instagram called ‘GodBlessAmerica36’.”

+ Post WS. Instagram. Steve comes out to Anderson Cooper, the commandos make bets, and Bucky gets a husband

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“Full Metal Sasquatch” (M, 20k) by newsbypostcard

Bucky is walking out of Starbucks when he sees a Captain Americasignal hanging in the sky.

"Uh," Bucky says, stopping dead on the sidewalk. "Huh."

For one thing, he doesn't have a Captain America signal.

So… that seems like kind of a bad sign.

*

(Bucky!Cap, doing his best.)

+ Post CW. Instagram. Steve’s in France, so Bucky takes on the shield. He also becomes a local crpytid. Don’t judge him; long distance is difficult

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“Social Media and Other Grievous Errors” (G, 1k) by fmo

Bucky discovers Facebook and Twitter, takes a lot of unnecessary photos with his phone, and briefly breaks Steve's heart by not friending him back.

Or: sometime vaguely a while after the Winter Soldier movie, there's still a bit of distance between Steve and Bucky, but they're working on it.

+ Post WS. Facebook and Twitter. Bucky doesn’t want to be friends with Captain America. (That little guy from Brooklyn, however-) 

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