#starjackweek

The feelings had been terrifying at first and he had no idea what to do with it all. It had been horrible at first, knowing he could tell no one and that he could never have what he wanted but he wanted it nevertheless. Then he had accepted it, accepted that he was in the best position he could be in and the closest he would ever come to what he desired. That would have to be enough and he was content with that, happy to be a confidant, an ally, a friend. He wouldn’t trade that for the world. Of course, he still dreamt of what could be if he only gave in and said something but he has no expectations either good or bad, however, he does know it would put unnecessary pressure on Starscream. So, he just stands to the side, as always, and watches Starscream snooze on his desk in a moment of calm that is very rare for the seeker, not wanting to disturb him. Eventually, ever so slowly, he moves forward to the desk and delicately sets the datapad he’d been carrying next to Starscream’s resting form on the desk. His hand hovers over it for a moment, and then another.

With the greatest care, he moves his hand to brush the side of Starscream’s helm and stops dead, not even venting as Starscream shifts at the contact but when he doesn’t wake up, Wheeljack continues forward. Resting his hand fully on Starscream’s helm, he smooths it over the warm plating, petting the sleeping seeker. Starscream sighs under the touch, almost as though he could sense the intention behind it. Wheeljack knows that it’s selfish, that he shouldn’t be doing this but he can’t help it, being so close to Starscream always makes his mind fuzzy. The simple touch is all he dares, though, nothing more, nothing less. It’s painful in knowing this is all he can ever have but blissful in knowing he can have this at all.

The same need, the same desire he has whenever he thinks of Starscream bubbles up now and so he leans down, just enough to see Starscream’s face and whispers ever so softly, “I love you.”