#starfish.

Soojung,

I’ll make this simple for the both of us.

I lied. I have nothing else to dwell on in this writing than the fact that I lied to you. The very first time we met, I asked you if we had known each other, if we had ever been acquainted before, not even seconds after I spotted you. I’m certain you knew then that I had mistaken you for someone else. But once you turned around and I could clearly see your face, I quickly denied everything. I insisted that you looked nothing like the person I thought of moments prior. And that’s when I lied. I’m not sure if you noticed, but I did. I did because denying something is so much easier than admitting it to yourself. We all have our moments.

You remind me of someone. Not just the color of your hair, which makes you so easy to point out in a crowd, but your presence. This feeling I get around you that is too complicated for me to describe efficiently. But that’s not the point. The point is that it hurts. It hurts to see you because it beings back memories that I’ve left to die in the past. A past that should never be remembered. One that I would never even think to explain to anyone at all. I am usually one without much emotion, uncaring and fueled by spite, yet this kills me inside. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to speak to you. I don’t want to remember your appearance. This is vague, but I’ve said what I needed. You are a burden I have no desire to continue carrying.

"What happened to you?"

The inquiry is thought provoking, drowning her in a million memories that were never to be processed again. Blood, murder, death. Her past, her present, her future from the very day she had been cast from the gates of Heaven to follow a hopeless love. These are the things she keeps hidden from everyone. Whether for the sake of other’s sanity or to have remnants of her true being stay buried, she knows not why memories are dead upon her tongue. Does it matter? To have her pain bloom so easily from one simple question, it seems her efforts were all in vain. She realizes that persisting to stay cloaked by an image degrading to her kind for this redhead beauty is unnecessary. Her unknown desires are constantly swept away by fate, never to be met by her inquirer. This is all beyond stupidity.

[ REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU TRIED TO DISS ME? (would have added a link here but you deleted the message) NOW YOU IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE TRYNNA KISS ME?